Through the Lenz
by writtenbyabdex
Summary: Events beyond her control, Bella, lives a life separate from others. What happens after she witnesses a violent crime that steals her means of escape? AH, OCC. Starts slow but stick with it. It gets better. Beta'd by PTB.
1. Through the Lenz Summery

~~~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~

After almost suffering the physical loss of her Father, Bella has to make some changes, and because of those changes other changes are forced upon her. Now 3 years later, Bella has still yet to let anyone in. What happens when the Cullen's invade the lens of her camera and how does James fit into the picture?

AH, OOC, rated M for violence.

Here is an outtake from Chapter 11

I can see a bullet hole in his chest on the left just below his pectoral minor muscles. The blood is bubbling from the wound. I look around to see what is available to me. I don't have much time. I have to get the bleeding to stop. I see a cell phone lying on the ground, and I grasp for it, pulling it closer to myself but right now that is not going to help.

I reach into my pocket and pull out the cellophane style wrappers from my granola bars from earlier and my sharpie pen I still have on me from work. I take off my hoodie and drop it next to me. I'm on auto-pilot now.

"Carlisle, can you hear me," I ask as I turn him over towards his right, looking at his back. The bullet wound is a through and through. I'm still looking around trying to find something but until I see it, I'm not sure what it is. As quickly as I can I remove his tie, laying it underneath him, before I push him to his back again. I take one of the foil wrappers and lay it next to the wound, holding it in place the best I can as I roll him to his back again. I place the second wrapper on the wound in front and secure them in place with his tie, hoping it will hold. What it's suppose to do its create suction, letting him breath.

I am only going to say this one the characters in this story are owned by Stephanie Meyers. The content, plot, and end results of this story

Belong to the Author.

Reviews are always appreciated and very much looked forward to. If you're reading this story please leave a review to offset an insecure writers mind, even if it is JUST ONE WORD!

Through the Lenz

writtenbyabdex

~~~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~


	2. 1: My World I

**I realized that I di dnot properly seperated Chapters 1 and 2. Please excuse me as I have now done that.**

**This Chapter is now Beta'd. Thank you PTB (Project Team Beta) I believed I had done a pretty good job to minimize the errors of this chapter before I posted...Never again will I trust spell check lol.**

**Thank you itsange and Melissa for the time that you took in showing me the errors of my way. I know the story is a little slow and there is no conversation. I am hoping the reader trys to get to know the people in this story through there actions and thoughts.**

**~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~**

Threw the Lenz

Chapter 1: My World

I come to the park every Friday evening and sometimes on Saturdays to watch the world through the lens of my camera. Waiting and watching for that one shot. You know, the one that shouldn't be missed. The one that you always wished you had snapped so that you could share it with those you care about the most. The one that says so much about you that even the camera cannot miss it. The one that says I love you or that's your mom or your dad.

I walk up the path, never meeting anyone's eyes. I like being invisible while I do this. No one has their guard up because they don't know they are being watched. No, I am not a stalker either. I head up the hill to a group of trees away from the lamps that light the walking path that goes through the park. I have always gotten special shots from here. It's not the only spot I use though.

It is early evening, about an hour before dusk. Families, lovers, and friends will be about the park for a while before they head home or somewhere beyond the park. Up here in the trees, I have a great view of the path, the playground, the sports field and a picnic area with tables. It is all laid out before me.

I unpack my equipment: my camera, tripod, and my little folding seat - easy to pack and carry. I have a few lenses and today I think I will use my big zoom lens and leave the rest in my bag. I also have some that I can use at twilight and after the sun goes down.

I take in the area to see if anything catches my eye or calls to me, so to speak. Moms and Dads are on the playground. I recognize most of them and for the most part, I know which kids belong to which adults. There are a few new faces I don't recognize but that is not uncommon at this park.

There are several groups of people setting up picnics at the tables and men in the sports field playing Frisbee or catch.

I can see someone moving through the trees at the end of the running path so thats where I start. I focus my camera to the path. The figure moves closer to the bend that will bring them into view and then into focus. Before I can even register the figure, I start pressing the button on my camera. _Click, click, click._

I don't have to focus. I just go with it, but I watch the figure. She is tall with long blonde hair pulled into a ponytail. She is wearing a blue sweatband and a blue running outfit that sticks to her body. Her angel face is an covered in sweat, and you can tell that she has run at least 1 a lap of the path. The sweat makes her skin almost sparkle as it traps the light of early evening.

Her face shows nothing but concentration. I zoom in and I know I have the shot. She has found her stride and appears lost in her own world. I wonder what song she is listening to on her mp3 player. I continue to follow her. She watches the playground and slows her pace, almost dragging her time there out. I zoom out to the playground.

There is a tall man with blonde curly hair, just above his shoulders, at the edge of the playground. He has nice shoulders and a lean figure. He reaches out to a little dark haired girl as if he is going to pick her up. I start pressing the button on my camera as soon as a full smile appears on his face; one that makes your heart skip a beat. His eyes and face are as bright as his smile. I'm shocked to see the little girl hand a baby to the man because I thought he was going to pick her up, but I keep taking pictures. _Click, click, click._

I zoom in on the little girl. She is shaking her head and the look on her face is one of loving disbelief. She raises her hand and she is looking at something or someone and I realize she is not a little girl but a woman though you can only tell once you see her face.

Now that I can see her face, there is no doubt that she is a woman and not a little girl. She starts moving faster and her movements remind me of a perfectly executed samba or tango. Graceful is one word to describe her as she moves away from the blonde man. She has short spiky black hair and her eyes are a penetrating blue, almost the same color blue in a peacock's tail. Generally, I wouldn't put the fair skin, together with the hair and eyes, but now I wouldn't change a thing. She joins the blonde woman on the path and together they move out of view as I watch. _Click, click, click._

I focus back on the playground where the blond haired man has been standing. Not only did he have a baby on one hip, but now has a toddler on the other. I have to laugh. _Click, click, click_. He is laughing and carrying the toddler sideways, (not upright like a mom would carry a child). His arms and legs are kicking and flapping wild at this distance and I can almost hear their sweet laughter. _Click, click, click._ They are heading back towards the picnic tables and the blond man is turning in circles, raising and lowering the child on his hips. I zoom in. _Click, click, click._ From this angle, the world seems perfect.

I follow them as they move to the picnic area. He sets the toddler on their feet and places the baby in the stroller that is there. There is no doubt in my mind that the man has done this before: No supervision needed and a woman couldn't have done it any better or faster. But he doesn't see what I see. I follow the toddler with my camera.

_Click, click, click._

The toddler screams in delight and picks up pace towards the sports field. I am so engrossed with watching the toddler that I jump when the man grabs the toddler from behind and in one sweeping movement into the air above his head. _Click, click, click._

Moving higher into the air, delight is undeniable on the toddlers face. he goes up and over the man's broad shoulders. The child's hands move and are full of blond hair, secured on wide shoulders, and is carried back to the picnic table.

It is times like these that I had the means and invested in the quality camera that I did after I graduated from collage. I know I have the shot and I leave them to their snack or dinner or what ever it is.

I focus back onto the playground for a few minutes but nothing is calling to me so I focus on the sports field.

Two men are playing a relaxing game of Frisbee and some other people are playing catch. A group of men are assembling for what looks like a game of soccer as well, but I focus on the men playing Frisbee. It's not often I see people playing Frisbee.

The big guy would make a great line backer except he doesn't need shoulder pads or a helmet. He has wide shoulders and a barrel chest. His arms have to be bigger than my thighs, even at this distance. For a guy his size, he is fast and agile. Definitely a body builder but where did the easy movements come from? He has short dark curly hair and his white shirt is tight on his arms and chest. Across his chest, it reads "ROCKBAND." A video game junkie, I take it. Maybe, but he is full of life. He has a smile that not only spreads across his face, it reaches his eyes.

Smiles can tell you a lot about a person. So far tonight I've seen four of them. The blond man's smile tells me at least these three things. One, that he loves with his whole heart, two, that he would do anything, include humiliating himself in public, to get those he loves to smile, and that love exist.

The dark haired pixie's smile tells me she believes in love at first sight is real. She is sentimental for certain and things need to be remembered always. You amaze me and I have no doubt about anything.

The dark haired toddler with curly locks made me believe life doesn't get much better than this.

The grizzly sized bear, wearing a 'Rockband" shirt, smile says he embraces and pushing life beyond the limits, one hundred and ten percent, and full steam ahead.

**~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~**

**Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. Please review especially if you want to see more of the story.**

**I am waiting for more chapters to be beta's. I hope you stick with the story and leave a review. **

**I am working on outtakes from other pov's. Now that things are starting move the idea's just keep comming.**

**Please forgive me for the delays in posting. I don't want to post anymore non beta'd chapters.**


	3. 2: My World II

**Sorry that it has taken so long to upload this chapter. I finally found the answer to figure out how to upload. I have recieved nothing up Error 2 stuff for 2 weeks now. Yahoo gave me the answer to get this uploaded. Thanks for that yahoo. Enjoy.**

**Thank you heretherenowhere and smiling_ina from Project Team Beta for all the time that you took in helping with punctuation and telling me if something didn't make since. You have made this chapter much better. Thank you ladies you are awsome.**

**~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~**

Chapter 2: My World part II

As I lean back to enjoy my surroundings, I notice two figures moving through the trees again. Has it been twenty minutes already? It has to be the two women coming around again. My camera is back in action before they clear the trees.

Despite the black haired-pixie's size in comparison, she keeps pace with the blonde. She's broken a sweat, and her skin glimmers slightly. She appears focused… or maybe lost in her own world, as they approach. With a slight shake of her head she comes back to reality as her lips curl slightly into a smile. She says something I can't hear.

_Click, click, click. _

The two women move from their rhythmic pace to a fast sprint. As they race, a mischievous smile never leaves the pixie's face.

The tall blonde has a look of total concentration on her face. Her focus is in front of her: no longer on the slower pace she had before, or with her companion, now behind her.

The poker face of a competitor masks the blonde's face; she pushes the distance between her and the smaller woman behind her. As quickly as the distance increases, it is lost as a dark blur sweeps past her to their undefined finish line.

They pass their invisible finish line, and the blonde woman bends over with her hands on her knees, she's breathing heavily. The dark-haired woman places a hand on her back, patting her like a puppy, smiling, before she stands up fully and heads to the picnic tables.

Once the blonde woman calms her breathing, she stands. I still do not see a smile, but the tension appears to be gone from her as she too walks back towards the picnic table.

Back at the picnic table the pixie throws her a bottle of water and laughs. The blonde woman finally gives me what I want: a smile. It is not a full smile that shows her teeth. It is more reserved, more controlled than that. She is holding a part of herself back. She's tough, I see that, but there is "more than meets the eye. I wonder what her story is.

I always wonder what their stories are.

The pixie walks behind and nudges her. The blonde woman snaps her head up towards the pixie. Her smile is gone, and she yells something to the pixie. The blonde woman tilts her head, shaking it back and forth, and when she looks back up her smile is back, but bigger.

I return my focus back to the pixie, who is moving towards the sports field. I see two men playing Frisbee, and I focus the camera to them. The view I have with the zoom lens on my camera, I could be right there next to them. With that thought, I feel a slight tightening in my chest. If only I could hear them.

I never put myself out there like that anymore.

The big man catches the Frisbee and turns to the pixie. I can see him fully now and he smiles while he talks to her. Silence. His shoulders relax as he approaches the small woman. Before I can process a change, though I see it, he turns, and the Frisbee leaves his hands heading towards the other man. I imagine I can hear his laughter in my head.

I follow the Frisbee as it lifts and floats in the air towards its destination. It's high and it floats past him. He has to run for it, and I don't think he is going to catch it. I see a blur of copper, and a hand comes from nowhere, catching the Frisbee mid-air.

_Click, click click. _

I watch as the man lands back on the ground after springing into the air. His feet hit the ground. His body is pulled forward, as if to fall, but with a quick shift of his body he rolls across the ground and springs back into a standing position. With the Frisbee in hand he moves to join the bear of a man and the pixie. He seems to be laughing, but I couldn't tell for sure until he turned and I could see his face.

A tussle of copper hair frames the strong features of his face, an angular jaw, lips are a few shades darker than his skin. An elongated nose divides his features. His eyebrows are the same color as his hair, and raised slightly just before the outer edges. When he looks forward; I wish I could see the colors of his eyes. His smile, like the blonde's, doesn't fill his face, and it cocks to one side. He shakes his head and tilts his face to the ground. It moves from side to side, and then his shoulder's seems to shake, laughing. I zoom out.

The big man has not only reached the petite framed-woman but has her over his shoulders and is spinning her in circles.

Once the spinning stops, I watch as her hands reach down his back to his pants to pull his pants up towards herself. His hands leave her ankles, racing to catch his pants. She moves in a manner that causes him to stumble, and before he can regain his balance, he lands on the ground. With a swift speedy move, she is on top of him, holding him to the ground. His arms are pulled behind his back, pinned by her knee. I think she might just be dangerous for such a small woman. She leaps into the air out of his reach and bounces towards the copper-haired man who is lagging behind with the Frisbee still in hand.

When she reaches him, Copper pulls her in giving her a hug and tucking her under his arm. His head is bent, but I can tell he is still laughing because his shoulders are still shaking. Her smile is back as she looks up at his; she is laughing as they continue. The picnic table seems to be their destination.

Now that everyone is back at the table the atmosphere seems to stay friendly. The blond-haired man that has been there while the others did there thing, gives everyone a bottle of water and passes out paper plates. I still can't tell who is a couple (if any) in this picture and what child belongs to what adult. Maybe they are a family or just a bunch of friends.

I refocus on the park, leaving them in peace. Unbeknownst, they have given me a warm view into their world.

I watch the playground. The children are buzzing happily around. I recognize most of them from this vantage point. I know which child belongs to which parent. Some worried, when I first started coming here. It took them awhile, but I think they are used to me now. As far as I know no one even knows who I am, where I lay, or why I wait to take photos. Pictures are physical proof, and a constant reminder, of a moment that should to be remembered.

Experience has taught me, it's about remembered moments but not everyone can remember.

Joey, the little freckled boy with red hair, is with his father, which I know means that his mother has already come and gone. His parents never arrive or leave together. Fridays, Joey leaves with his father and when they are here on Saturdays, Joey leaves with his mother. The parents have no interaction with each other, so I can only assume they are not together. And we all know what can happen when you assume, so it is something I try not to do.

Michaela is the little girl on the slide. She has Downs Syndrome, but I can't feel sorry for her family. Michaela seems happy and loved. When she smiles you can tell. There is nothing hidden in her eyes. And today, just like every other day, she is dressed in purple and green. I believe they're her favorite colors.

Now, I haven't seen Jason in a while. It has been weeks, him I feel for. He's as clumsy as I am. He always manages to get hurt somehow, but it never stops him from playing just as hard as the rest of the kids. I am glad he is back. I know he is not being abused because I've seen him fall off the end of the slide and get hurt, a broken arm. I've watched how careful his parents are with him and how they worry when he does fall. I think maybe he has a medical condition because some of those falls wouldn't even hurt me, but Jason ends up heading to the hospital.

It will be dark soon. The lights on the walking path just turned on, so it's time to change the lens on my camera. I sit up and withdraw my eyes momentarily from the scene below.

I change the filter lens on my camera and then place it on the tripod. I pull on my hoodie and put in my ear buds, so I can listen to music from my MP3 player.

As I'm listening to gentle music, I watch over the park with my camera. A petite woman with a curvy figure walks into the park from the parking lot. Her hair, a caramel color, hanging past her shoulders. She's wearing a cream -colored blouse and tan pants with Ivory-colored flats. A string of pearls hangs loosely around her neck.

At the intersection of the running path and grass she turns away and looks across the expanse between her and her destination. I follow her gaze and the new family is back in focus. I wait and watch. I have a feeling about this.

I watch until they notice the woman, pointing, informing everyone of her presence. I see the smiles and excitement of recognition.

_Click, click, click._

That is a picture I'm glad I didn't miss. My heart is warmed.

I bring the new woman back into view. She is rolling the cuffs of her pants up to her knees, and with her shoes in hand, she purposely walks towards them. Her shoulders are pulled back, and her feet don't stumble or sway. The woman has a confidence that breathes grace and beauty.

Midway she bends at the knees and stretches her arms out before a mop of curly hair, standing just a few feet tall, collides with her. She stands, placing the energetic bundle on her hip, a well practiced move, as she continues to the finish line.

I watch as hugs and smiles and laughs surround the table. The women slide around the table, down the bench, making room for the new addition.

My finger hasn't stopped moving while watching the table and the woman's approach. I know I have at least a few good shots in there.

The sun sets further on the horizon. It will be completely dark soon. It's a full moon tonight, and it will be bright tonight and tomorrow. It's nights like these that make me grateful and find comfort behind my camera.

I continue to watch them. I'm starting to figure out which child is with which adult. From the looks of things, the short, dark-haired women and the tall blond man are a couple, and the toddler belongs to them. While the barrel of a man and the blonde runner are tied together along with the baby in the stroller. The caramel-colored hair woman looks too old, maybe thirty-five or so, to be coupled with the cooper-haired man.

After a short amount of time, the older woman stands, moving the toddler from her hip to her chest, dark curly hair bouncing on her back, head and hands rest on her shoulders.

Slowly the copper-haired man escorts the woman from the park where they were seated. He carries a diaper bag and a car seat. They must be heading home for the evening, and maybe I was wrong, about the supposed age difference. I watch and click the picture button on my camera.

Maybe I was wrong and the child is his.

I sit back and wonder what it might be like to have a large family. I wonder what the connection between the three couples are. I contemplate how it would feel just to be connected to a group as these couples seem to be. Before I can come to any type of conclusion, I see the cooper-haired man return to the group, but the woman is nowhere in sight.

Once I have watched him return to the table, I've made the decision that it is time to go for tonight. I'll be back tomorrow, and I hope that the new family will be as well. I disassemble my camera and tripod and place the lens back into its bag. With everything over my shoulder I walk down to the path that will take me closer to them before leading me to my car.

I hear music coming from the picnic tables. It's a harmonica. The music sounds familiar, but I can't quite put a name to it. Mr. Copper's eyes are closed as his lips move up and down the instrument that's between his hands, covered and hidden from view with his long fingers. The music is calm, classical, and I smile to myself as I turn away and continue to a separate parking lot. I wonder if the song is Debussy, but I can't be sure. I've never heard it played on a harmonica before.

**I am still looking for someone to pre-read the story or beta it.**

**Rec: Green by Batty-Vamp. ( put fanfiction. net/s/6108912/)**

**Don't forget to review before you leave.**


	4. 3: SundayMonday

**Welcome back. I know people want dialog and are wishing to get to know Bella better and I promise as the story goes alot more will happen. Believe it or not you are learning about Bella. Ask yourself why someone watches instead of participates. See what I'm getting at.**

**Well this chapter was again kicked back from being beta'd. I guess my punctuation sucks...lol..sorry I'm not a comma freak. I'm trying to learn all these rules about puntuation. So if you see a mistake let me know. I appreciate it. I also do not want to keep you waiting.**

**Thank you aiden28 for your review. It's reviews that make me want to publish the story faster. I hoped you enjoyed the teaser I sent you for this chapter. Oh yeah...If you review I will try to send you a teaser of the next chapter. Just bits and pieces.**

**(new update: This chapter was finally accepted and returned from ProjectTeamBeta. Yayaya Thank you so much StoryPainter and Batgirl. You are great. You didn't make me feel stupid and your advice was great. I'm sorry if it was tourture going through all my mistakes but I am taking your advice. I'm reading all the links you sent me. I'm trying I promise! Enough of that and on with the chapter. posting update Beta'd version.)**

* * *

Chapter 3: Gallery Sunday/Charlie Monday

It's9:00 pmon Saturday night as I tap the send key on my laptop, my email now sent. There is nothing special or different about tonight; same as always. This weekend's photos have been sorted, manipulated, and engineered into works of art. The results are being developed at the photo-shop as I leave the computer. Tomorrow will be here soon enough, so I head for the shower and then to bed.

As usual, sleep doesn't come easily. I think about the new family, the park, and how it all looks through the lens. Two consecutive days tell me they will be back. I wonder if life for them seems as perfect as it seemed to me. Something tells me it is very close.

Sunday starts the same, a loud buzzing sound and a flashing light. It's not that I need to be woken up; the sound is just a reminder to get out of bed. I've been awake for almost an hour now. Today feels like a beginning, exciting, so I dress in green, and get ready for the rest of my day.

On my way to the park, I stop for coffee. I wish I could hide in a corner and take more pictures, but it's too busy; someone would notice. So, I take a few mental photos before I head to my mailbox and finish my journey to the park.

I like the fact that I can access my mailbox seven days a week. Did you know that it is a rare thing for people to stop and get their mail on Sundays? My artwork and papers from Jessica are sent here instead of my apartment. That's why I rented a P.O. Box in the first place.

By11:30I'm on the hill under the trees, watching the day's events unfold. Jessica Stanley has done an outstanding job, as usual, of setting up the gallery. Frames, ropes, and her desk complete the makeshift gallery.

Each photo has been placed in specially designed frames, standing five and a half feet tall after they are rooted in the green turf. The displays are made of rod-iron and the frames themselves are edged with metal ribbons and black scrolls. Below the photos are statements or questions regarding each altered photo above. The average size of the photos are 8x10, the statements or questions are 5x7, and the bottom photo on the display is a 3x5 of the original photo, before it was engineered into an un-recognizable piece of art.

It's almost2:00 pmbefore I stroll through the gallery myself. I consider heading home because the new family has not shown and I really want to see their reaction to the gallery.

Due to little sleep last night, I'm having a hard time concentrating. If I turn in early and I'm lucky, maybe I can get a full night of sleep tonight.

As I glance around, preparing to leave, I notice something that halts my departure. _They _are entering the park, and (from what they are carrying, how they are acting), it appears as though they are planning to stay a while.

The chestnut colored haired woman directs the children towards the playground. She keeps glancing over her shoulder with a curious look. Slowly, the men join the children at the playground with odd looks on their faces. I've seen surprise, wonder, and confusion, on many faces as they look at the gallery. You don't see a gallery like this everyday.

The blonde woman and the pixie stay with the chestnut haired woman. The women edge closer to the gallery, contemplating the sight. I consider the art before me as well, rather than continue to stare at the group. I continue to listen for them as they approach.

A gasp from behind me forces me to turn slightly towards the sound to watch. The pixie is grasping her necklace as she looks up and down the displays. The woman next to her is still looking at the 8x10 photo. The blonde woman is just standing there, annoyed, not really paying attention.

"I know, Alice. It is beautiful," the chestnut-haired women reply.

"No…Yes, it is beautiful, Esme," Alice states sounding awed while pointing to the lower picture.

The blond woman looks at the photo that Alice is pointing out. It's the photo of Rosalie running on the path as she listens to whatever is on her MP3 player. The 8x10 photo is just an ear with earrings in the shapes of R's and ear buds from her player. The caption reads, "What song inspires the soul?"

"What? When?" Rosalie asks and both her voice and her posture are tense. From where I'm standing, Rosalie looks… uncomfortable and nervous. I look away, worried that I might have offended Rosalie. I hold my breath until they continue their conversation.

"Rosalie, calm down. I'm sure it's okay. Let me figure out what is going on before we jump to conclusions," Esme replies as she rubs Rosalie's arm.

Without moving her eyes from the photo, Alice says, "Why don't you go over to the boys?"

Rosalie's frame is tense and her face is cold as she walks away from the gallery. My heart pounds with disappointment. My eyes almost form tears, but I fight them back blinking rapidly. I want my art to make you think about your life, not make you indifferent.

Esme's voice is low, sweet, and full of emotion, as she reaches her hand towards the photo. "These are beautiful…aren't they?" I hear from beside me. For just a second, I'm not surprised I lost my focus (thinking about Rosalie's reaction) as I turn towards the voice. Alice is next to me with Esme behind her. I don't want to draw attention so I look back to the art before me as well.

I nod as I speak "Yes they are!" I return my gaze back to the art and pictures in front of me.

It is the photo of Esme's family when they waved their welcome on Friday night. I feel the betrayal of emotion in my voice. I concentrate on the artwork and not the photo.

"Jazz, come over here," Alice says, raising her voice. She waves to the blond man, motioning him to come over. I move further into the background. I commit his name, Jazz, to memory.

"Look at this one," Alice exclaims. The art displays nothing but hands; the caption says "Hello" and the picture is of the family waving to Esme.

"I remember thinking I wished I had a camera when you were all sitting there at the table. I must have stood there watching for five minutes, trying to take it all in." Esme voiced was just above a whisper.

Jazz looks at the picture and wraps his arms around Alice's shoulders. His gaze is intense as he views the picture. He looks over to the picnic tables and then back to the picture. You can almost see the wheels turning behind his head. He looks around and his eyes narrow. He stares at the hill and he knows where I sat (taking pictures) Friday night. I drift over to the next display of artwork before he notices me watching. Slowly I make my way through the displays, down the path towards the parking lot.

From the distance, I watch for a few more minutes.

The bronze-haired man I call Copper joins Esme, while Jazz and Alice depart, returning to the rest of the family. I watch them as the small ball of energy with curly black hair bounces to them. Jazz captures the child with his hands, then tosses the child onto his shoulders just before arriving at the picnic table.

Jessica is writing in her log book, hopefully to let me know what is said. Esme and Copper are sitting with her

It is time for me to leave the park. If I stay, I might not remain anonymous.

~~~~TTL~~~~

**Monday**

I walk through the doors at work excited to see Charlie and meet Angela at the front desk. Angela is quiet as she addresses me.

"Bella, he's been waiting for you!" she says looking down the hall that is lined with doors on both sides.

"Good. I have some great pictures for him this morning, Angela," I reply, lifting up my bag so that she could see. "How was he this weekend?" I head down the hall after she lets me know Charlie was fine.

"You know how he is, Bella!" she giggles, "He was fine, a little bossy maybe, but he's always bossy."

Charlie was shot while on duty almost 3 years ago. The doctor that preformed his surgery didn't feel comfortable, at the time, to remove one of the bullets lodged under the skull plate.

Since then, Charlie's memories are tossed around and vary from day-to-day, like pulling laundry out of a washing machine, everything twisted together. Only Charlie's memories cannot be pulled apart.

The way the bullet is lodged inside of Charlie's head not only affects his memories, it also impaired his motor function. Some days, his motor skills are so impaired that he has to use a walker to move around. On the bad days, the nerves are sending the messages to the wrong part of his body. He tries to take a step and his arm reaches out instead.

"Knock, Knock."

"No, I don't want any more water. No, I don't want to take a shower. No, I don't want to get dressed unless it's to go fishing."

The yelling tells me someone is not in a good mood. He must not have slept well last night. This is the only reason why I hate Mondays. I hate Fridays because I don't get to see Charlie for the next two days.

"Good morning, Charlie. I have something for you," I announce as I enter his room.

"Morning, You. I must be blessed this morning to have such a beautiful nurse coming to visit me." I look into Charlie's eyes but it's no use. There is nothing he does that gives me hope that he recognizes me today. Those days are rare and far between.

"Did my daughter drop something off for me already this morning?" Charlie is excited.

Slowly, Charlie and I look through the pages of photos. I want him to remember everything the way I do. After we're done, Charlie's comment makes my heart drop (or hurt) a little because it's evident that he doesn't.

"I don't know how my daughter found all these old pictures, but I'm glad that she did. I wish she had the time to look at them with me," or "I hope when my daughter grows up that she is as beautiful and as kind as you are. Maybe I'll teach her how to take pictures like this someday," or "I hope when my daughter grows up she is just like you. Maybe she will even grow up to be a nurse."

You would think I would be sad and you would be right. But I've gotten use to it, mostly. I lie to myself instead, thinking somewhere in that brain of his, he knows who I am. _He knows that I am his daughter._

"Oh yeah… Can you tell my daughter that I love her when she comes to pick up the book? I know how busy she is," Charlie says just as I shut the door. I smile to myself thinking, _not as busy as you think, Dad_, and force myself to think about my day and what I have to do next.

Charlie bought me my first camera when I was seven. Charlie and Renee, my mom, thought that would be a great way of capturing memories that I could always go back and look at in the future to remember my friends, the fun we had, and things like that. And it grew from there. I'm glad that I took all the pictures that I did.

I continued to take photos during my college years, as I pursued my degree in Applied Science. Once I finally talked Charlie into using my old computer at home, I had the ability to share my day-to-day life with him and he had to learn to share his.

Dad even went out and upgraded his cell phone with one that had a camera. I laughed so hard I actually cried the first time he sent me a picture, even though he wasn't the one that had taken it.

Gerri, the woman who sold my dad his cell phone sent me the first photo. There was my dad sitting at a desk in the cell phone store learning how to get pictures off his phone and onto the computer so that he could email it to me. He looked so frustrated and he had both hands in his hair. It looked somewhat painful. His face was red but he didn't give up.

I didn't get many from my dad, but the ones I did get where awesome. He sent me a picture of my friends Jacob, Seth, Paul, Jarod, and Sam. They were all dressed up as Indians for Founder's Day. I knew my dad was crafty when he actually got my old principal to pose in handcuffs next to his police cruiser. Mr. Casey wasn't very happy when I posted it to my Facebook page but what was he going to do, suspend me?

Yes, my life can get lonely. Between work, Charlie, and the amount of time I use to take pictures, not many men would put up with the schedule. So now, a relationship is so far down my list of priorities, I don't even think about it. Would it be nice to go home to a warm body and be able to tell someone about my day? Well duh, yes it would. Is it a necessity? No, not now. Charlie is my priority right now and has been for the last 3 years.

Maybe this weekend I will go to Forks, and see if I can find one of Mom's old photo albums.

* * *

**Rec: My Escort by Bratty-Vamp /s/5394790/ I hope you enjoy that one I did.**

**Remember to review before you leave. You might get a teaser of the next chapter.**


	5. 4: A Road Paved with Memories

Chapter 4:A RoadPaved with Memories

During the week, I arranged to leave work early on Friday so that I could make a trip to Forks. Charlie refused to have breakfast with me and only allowed me to share lunch with him during the week. Charlie needed something, and I was hoping that some photos from the past would do the trick.

I hate the all-day trip; it gives me too much time to think about the past. I haven't been back to Forks in two years. I hope it won't take long to find the album I put together for Charlie after Mom died.

I coax my car further onto the ferry; unease from he past starts to creep forward from the recesses of my mind.

High school was a blur, as I pushed myself to excel in all AP (Advanced Placement) classes. I graduated high school a year early, at seventeen, and had my basic credits for college done, completing my first year of college, and then some.

Charlie worried the whole time, and we fought constantly.

_"Bella, this is too much: AP Algebra, English; World History; and Biology! When are you going to have time for you?" That was my sophomore year._

_"What do you mean you were accepted into the "Fast Track Program"? My junior year, I attended classes through our local community college, receiving credits toward both college and high school. I didn't socialize with my peers, and I didn't date._

_But Dad didn't let that slide._

_"Dad, what is this?" I was holding the box in my hand _[LJ1] _looking down the stairs at my Dad._

_"What does it look like?" Charlie stood at the bottom of the stairs as I looked down at him. I opened the box._

_"It looks like a prom dress; that's what it looks like!" My voice rose as I continued my sentence. "I'm not going to prom, Dad!"'_

_"Yes, you are!"_

_"I don't even have a date!" I yelled back. _

_"You do!"_

_"What! What do you mean I DO?"_

_"You'll see. Now get dressed! Or I'll have to do something drastic!"_

_"Drastic?"_

_"Yes! Something drastic! You know, no one ever told me that I could pull you from the fast track program if I felt you were in over your head. Now, GET DRESSED!" _

_That's a cheap shot, Dad! I thought to myself._

_When I descended the stairs thirty minutes later, I was at a loss for words. There, at the bottom of stairs, stood a Tuxedo dressed and clean-shaven Charlie. I was escorted to a limousine, then to the school prom._

That was eight years ago, and it was one of the most memorable nights of my life. I wiped the moisture from my eyes away, as the memories continued.

_"Bella, are you sure this…this is what you want?" I looked at my father as he leaned against the rails of the ferry while escorting me back to Seattle. His brows were furrowed; his eyes trained on his hands._

_"Dad, I know you're worried about me, but this feels right. Mike's a good guy. You know that. I thought he had the 'Swan' seal of approval." I wiggled my fingers into his fisted hands, clutching his, watching as I entwined my fingers with his._

_"But, Bella...This…is a big move for you." Charlie's eyes reached mine as I looked up to him._

_"Dad, I know you're worried..." Charlie cut me off, looking back at my hands._

_"Bella…" I could hear the exasperation in his voice, "You've been pushing yourself for so long. Do you even know how to NOT push things?"_

_How do I answer that one? Do I know how NOT to push? I've been pushing myself almost to the edge of sanity for so long since Mom died. It's not as if we're getting engaged We're just moving in together._

_"Dad, you and Mom taught me how to be tough and how to go after what I want. Look how far that has brought me. I'm twenty years old and already have, Bachelors in Applied Science. I've been accepted into a great medical program. By this time next year, who knows where I'll be. Maybe...just...maybe Mike IS my balance."_

_That was four and a half years ago. _

I put my car into drive after the thirty-minute ferry ride and continue on my journey. The memories dance and play out as I drive, bringing me closer to Forks.

_"Hi, Bells. What are you doing this weekend?"_

_"I don't know, Dad. I haven't talked with Mike yet. Why?"_

_"Do you think you can come home this weekend? I have some news that I want to talk to you about,-in person"_

_"Is everything okay, Dad?"_

_"Yeah, everythings fine, Bells. See you this weekend."_

_Mike didn't like that I had made the decision that we were going on Saturday. Something was going on because my dad never asked me to come home, even for dinner. Mike was hoping that we might go sailing over the weekend. Boring. He finally relented when I told him I was going with or without him. This was one weekend. He planned most of our weekends anyway._

_~~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~_

_"We're here, Dad," I said as I walked into the kitchen where Charlie stood with one of Mom's aprons wrapped around his waist. He had steaks marinating in a roasting pan on the counterin front of him._

_"Oh, great! I wasn't sure you guys were going to make it. Now we're just waiting on Billy and Jacob." My eyes narrowed in on Dad. What was he up to? Why were Billy and Jacob coming to dinner?_

_"Dad?"_

_I'd made a salad while my dad and Mike spent some time bonding over football-men. Dinner was finally served after everyone arrived. We all looked at Charlie as he took a long swig of his beer._

_"Okay. Fine, I'm no longer acting Chief of Police." It took a minute for what my dad said to sink in._

_"What?" The indignation was clear in my voice. My father had served the police force here in Forks for as long as I've been alive. How could they fire him?_

_"It's not like that, Bells!" Charlie almost choked on his beer, shocked by my angry voice. I just stared at him, waiting for him to continue._

_'Acting' is the key word in that sentence. Steve Tyler decided to retire, and I accepted the position; It was offered to me on a permanent basis."_

_"Oh My God Dad. That's...That's Awesome!" I congratulated my dad as I threw my arms around him and kissed him on the cheek. _

_Everyone congratulated him, and we ate the celebratory meal Dad had fixed. Mike didn't say much during the meal or on the way home. I guess he was still mad about dinner vs. sailing._

_I was so happy for my dad that night. Forks couldn't ask for a better man to fill the position._

_That was four years and three months ago. _

_~~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~_

_"Hey, Bella," Mike said as I picked up the phone._

_"Mike. I wasn't expecting you to call. I thought you had a meeting about your promotion today. Wait, did you get the job?" Mike had been working so hard for this. He had been a nervous wreck all week._

_"I don't know yet. That's not why I called. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I went to lunch, and to ask you if you would like to have dinner with me tonight."_

_"Aw, that's so sweet, Mike. What time for dinner?"_

_"Meet me at that little bistro downtown at say 5:30 tonight? And wear that little blue dress of yours?" His statements came out as questions._

_"Wow. Sounds serious. I'll be there!" and I was._

_~~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~_

_"Bella, will you marry me?" Mike said as he lowered himself down on one knee. _

_I just looked at Mike with wide eyes, completely caught off guard. He just waited for the words to sink into my non-functioning brain._

_"I spoke to Charlie about asking you to be my wife." When did that happen? "So Miss Bella Swan, will you marry me and become Mrs. Mike Newton?" Was this really happening? I blinked once, twice, and then pinched myself. Ow._

_"Yes." What other answer was there? Mike was the man of my dreams, or so I thought._

_That was three years and 9 months ago._

_"Congratulations, Bells." That was the only thing my dad said when I called him later that night._

_~~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~_

_Six months later, Mike and I started talking about plans for our wedding and actually setting a date; then maybe, after a few years, we would talk about kids._

_After Charlie's promotion, he started dating a woman named Sue Clearwater from the La Push Reservation. _

_I had a great job that I loved and looked forward to each-and-every day. I always felt like I made a difference. My co-workers were awesome, and I considered many of them friends. _

_My school schedule was hectic, between classes, clinicals, and long study sessions. It didn't leave much time for Mike, but he said he didn't mind. Everything that we were going through now was just groundwork for our future._

_Three years and three months ago._

_"Mike! Are you there?" I yelled after the beep. "I really, really need to talk to you!" What was I going to do now? Mike was supposed to be home. It was 6:30 at night. Where was he? Arg._

_"I'm here, Bella. What's up?" I could hear Mike panting through the phone._

_"Why do you sound so out of breath? Are you okay, Mike?" My brows pinched together as I looked at my engagement ring. I still couldn't believe Mike asked me to marry him._

_"I was in the bathroom and had to run to catch the phone, silly. Why?"_

_"Oh...Okay, that makes sense. Sorry."_

_"It's okay, Bella, no big deal. What's up, honey, you sounded so excited?"_

_"Oh God...Mike...Mike, I got accepted for the internship at the hospital!" I let my initial excitement fill my mind. I couldn't believe it._

_"Bella, that is so awesome! Do you want to celebrate tonight?" Mike sounded so happy for me._

_"I do, but I won't be home until late. Maybe we could invite your parents and my dad for dinner this weekend to celebrate."_

_"That sounds like a great plan, Bella. I'll take care of everything." _

_"Mike..." my voice cracked with emotion, but I managed to continue-, "I'm the youngest student they have ever accepted into the internship program." It was a great honor because internships were not handed out every day. To top it off, I would get to start in the emergency room._

_~~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~_

_Twenty-three missed calls later, I answered my cell. I was sitting in a chair next to Charlie's hospital bed. It has been almost thirty-six hours since I have had any sleep._

_"Hello." I know my voice sounded as flat as I felt inside. It's been about twenty-four hours since Charlie left surgery. _

_"Bella, where in the hell are you? Why haven't you been answering your phone? I've been worried sick!" Mike wasn't angry._

_I felt such a relief that it was Mike on the phone. My emotions crashed in on me as I tried to answer._

_"Mike...my dad was shot. I'm sorry that I didn't call. I...I just couldn't leave him." The sobs came harder as Mike tried to soothe me over the phone._

_~~~~~~~~~~~TTL~~~~~~~~~~_

_"Mike, I have to do something. I'm all he has. I have to take care of him."_

_"But, Bella, this? You're going to quit your internship?"_

_"I don't know what else to do, Mike. I can't do school, my internship, work, and take care of my dad. If I tried to add a job to my current schedule, it would mean taking time away from you."_

_"It's okay, Bella. We'll figure something out." Mike held me in his arms as we talked._

_"I don't want to quit, trust me. I've thought about this. I have enough credits obviously, and enough clinical time. It would give us the cash flow that we need now."_

_"If your're, Bella."_

_"I'm not, but unless you can come up with a different solution, it's the only choice."_

_"Okay."_

_"I'll resign my internship tomorrow and take the state R.N. test next week."_

_After that, it didn't take long to find out who Mike really was. Sometimes, I still wonder if he really loved me. Did he have feelings for my and just didn't know how to handle what life had become like for us, or was I just a paycheck. Six weeks after that conversation, Mike left me because he "had fallen in love with a girl he went to high school with, Lauren Mallory." _

I never even saw it coming. He had already moved his stuff out of our apartment before I got home from work. I didn't even have my jacket off when he announced he was leaving. I doubt he cared that I cried myself to sleep for a week after he left.

* * *

**I know have one permanent Beta and am waiting to send the next chapter to permanent Beta's. I'm so excited about the Beta's that have worked on the few chapters I have posted...Thank you Batgirl8968 for being the first to accept my story as Beta...**

**This weeks REC's**

**Girl with the Red Umbrella**

**fanfiction(dot)/s/ 5421672/1/**

**Thank you aided for your review. I know your waiting for the turning point of the story and trust me I'm having a hard time not just throwing everything up and letting what ever happen, happen, but I want it to be readable to.**

**A few more slow chapters and then we will see. I'm also working on a few outtakes and other things for the story that could delay posting. Stay with me everyone ...**

**and don't forget to review. Even if they torture me because I just want to share, I love them.**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**


	6. 5: Home again Home again

**To my Beta's, Batgirl8968 and Storypainter, I Thank You so much. I know I'm a pita and I appreciate the fact that you don't get frustrated with me with all my errors and stupid questions. We've made it to chapter five and you haven't quite on me. You are AWSOME! I probably make twitter a nightmare now. I'll even out soon. I promise. HA LOOK NO COMMAS lol.**

**I hope both of you are settled in your new homes soon. I know how difficult it can be while in transition from one place to another. I've done it many times myself.**

**Thank you Aiden for your review of the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed your little treat. You can still say no but I think you're my official pre-reader.**

**Enough of my ramblings, bowings, and strange antics. Let's get into the chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Home again Home again**

Looking at the house from the sidewalk, everything still seems the same with the white painted siding and the red door. A feeling that I have stepped back to a time makes each step eerie.

I slide the key into the lock, jiggling the lock and rotating it this way and that, as I always have, when I am rightened by a voice from the yard.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" A vaguely, familiar male voice says. I jolt and turn, clutching my hand to my chest, to find a figure at the bottom of the steps.

He is tall and his muscles are well defined. He has olive skin and dark hair. He is wearing a t-shirt that barely covers his chest, exposing his abdomen. It isn't until I look at his face that there is any sort of recognition.

His dark brown eyes and vivid smile are the only things that are the same as I remember. His hair is pulled back in a ponytail, longer now than it had been last time I saw him.

"Jacob Black?" I ask, shock in my voice. I've only seen Jacob once in the last six years, just after Charlie was shot almost three years ago.

"Bells, is that you? It is! What are you doing here?" If Jacob isn't shocked that it is me because I've been gone so long, I'm sure questions would continue to vomit out of his mouth. Four steps is all Jacob needs to meet me on the porch and engulf me in a hug

"God, Jacob, what happened to you? I feel like a five year old next to you," I mention as I release him and take a step back trying to get a decent look at him. Jacob laughs but not a full laugh, more like a snicker, as he steps back too. Jacob's always been taller than me and kind of gangly, but this is ridiculous.

"Wow!" I shake my head trying to get my thoughts back in order. "Well, I'm here to pick up a few things for Charlie. I wasn't expecting to run into anyone. It's just a quick in and out visit kind of thing… you?"

I don't know who _this_ Jacob is, but if my friend is still in there, the look on his face is the epitome of busted. I think he even has a small blush on his face. His eyes are focused on his feet

"Come on, Jacob, what are you up too?" I try to coax him.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I… um…" his eyes meet mine. "I still stop by and mow the lawn during the summer…I just thought I could do something nice for Charlie." _Well_ _Dang…_Jacob looks back down at his feet. I look past him into the yard and behold, Jacob, is already finished mowing. I move and take a seat on the steps. I am amazed and my eyes fill with happy tears. Jacob never stopped mowing the lawn. I am so wrapped up in my own little world; I hadn't even noticed the old red truck (my old truck) parked next to the curb when I arrived a few minutes ago. My stupid car is parked just behind it. The lawn is green and evenly mowed.

"God, I feel like such an ass, Jacob." Jacob squeezes in next to me and I slide over to give him a little more room. "I didn't even notice. I'm sorry." I rub my face with my hands. Jacob has always been a good friend to my Dad and me, while I have been horrible.

"I just wanted to take care of that for you," he says, as he points at the lawn. His words remind me of another time three years ago, when he said almost the same thing after loading a u-haul truck with boxes. I had packed mine and Charlie's personal things and moved Charlie to Seattle. Before moving on, I had handed him the keys to my old truck. "_I'll take care of her for you," he said, pointing to the old faded pickup truck._

I'm amazed that my old truck is still around. It originally belonged to Billy, Jacob's dad, before Charlie bought it for me. Back then, Jacob was glad that Charlie bought the old rust bucket because it meant that he didn't have to drive it. But looking at her today, I know Jacob has spent a lot of time working on her. She looks better than she ever did, protected with a new coat of glossy red paint with black, white, and grey flames decorating the rear wheel welds.

"I came to see if I could find an old photo album for Charlie." I look back to the door. I can't look at Jacob. "You know, one from before Mom died. Charlie's been having a hard time lately. I thought it might help his temperment." I look down at my hands.

"Ah. Well… You need help finding it? I'm here and have some time." Jacob considers the yard. Why does this feel so awkward?

"No… that's okay, Jacob. I'm sure you've got better things to do than to help me look for a book before I run out of town again." I grab the porch rail, starting to stand. I need to get this over with so I can go back to Seattle and away from Forks.

"Okay, Bells, I'll catch you some other time." Jacob gets up and walks to _his_ truck while I open the door and step into my Dad's house. The same one I grew up in and that now lays vacant. I wait until my eyes adjust to the darker interior of the house before I shut the door. Overcome with memories, I remind myself why I'm here. I'm after a photo album.

I start to head to the living room when I am scared shit-less, again. A loud thud echoes through the living room and I scream. God, I hate it when I scream like a girl -it makes me feel stupid because I've never been the girlie type- but ever since Charlie was shot, I've never felt safe here. I always feel like someone or something was watching me. Before I know it, the door swings open.

"Bells, where are you?" Panic fills Jacob's voice as his eyes lock on mine.

"Jacob…" I say as I look around on the floor for the source of the noise. "I scared the shit out of myself again!" I pick up the offending book that caused the noise, from the floor placing the book back on the shelf from where it had plunged.

Jacob laughs a full laugh as he watches me replace the book. It takes me a few seconds but I start laughing too.

"Well, at least some things never change, Bells. You still scream like a little girl." Jacob continues to laugh as he walks towards me. "I thought you might need this." In Jacob's, raised hand is a flash light.

"Hey! At least I have an excuse to scream like a girl. I am a girl if you have forgotten. And, yes, I might actually need that flash light. I forgot I turned on the power," I say as I open the door to the entertainment center looking for that photo album. "Thank you."

"I thought you might like one of these too, Bells," Jacob teases. I turn to find Jacob holding two beers in his hand. Yeah, I think I am going to need one of those. It seems that Jacob will not leave me alone until my mission is accomplished. I give Jacob a genuine smile and accept the beer.

Jacob starts looking through the bookshelf while I browse through the entertainment center, under the coffee table and the end tables. Everything is still as empty as it was last time I was here. _Shit, it isn't here._

"Shit, where is that photo album hiding?" I say to myself. I am so focused on finding the album that I've lost track of Jacob.

"Do you think you put it in the attic?" Jacob asks behind me.

"Jacob!" I scream "Stop scaring me. Damn it. You're a little old for that, aren't you?" I retort. Jacob knows how it freaks me out being here now.

I will never say it out loud, but, ever since Dad's incident, it feels like I am being watched or followed whenever I come to Forks to take care of business for my dad. I know it's from being a cop's daughter with an overactive imagination. There is a presence in the house that gives me chills and not the good kind.

"Sorry, Bells, but it's not like the werewolves and vampires are going to get you, you know." Maybe he hasn't changed that much. I have to crack a small smile. Damn him. His fingers are still wiggling as I move around.

"Hey… last time I checked you were the one that refused to come back to the bonfire when your dad told those old Indian legends." _There! Take that Jacob Black_. We both laugh, remembering. "Scared us both senseless."

"Yeah, remember your dad coming to get you and taking you home that night? I think it was a week before anyone at my house got any sleep after that."

"Yeah, I remember, Jacob," I continue, letting my laugh die. Those nightmares lasted through high school. "I also remember you begging my dad to bring you home too."

Jacob steps into the hall taking the flashlight and shining it up the stairs to find the attic access. "Maybe it's up here, Bells," he says. I grab my now opened beer and follow. Jacob pulls the ladder down that leads to the attic as I take a deep pull from my beer.

"Maybe," is the extent of my answer. I hate being here and I am glad that Jacob stayed. Left on my own, I would have never ventured into the attic. Charlie should be here, not in Seattle. We shouldn't be looking for a photo album. The thought makes me sad and melancholy.

Jacob steps away from the top of the ladder, hunching over and lighting up the area with the flashlight. I stand at the top of the ladder waiting.

"Try the footlocker, Jacob. Maybe it's in there," I suggest. I'm not going into the attic if I can help it.

Jacob walks over to the footlocker and squats down to open the lid. He's quiet for a few minutes as I watch him go through the locker.

"Hey, Bells, do you remember this?" Jacob asks as he holds up the old top hat Mom bought at a thrift store when we were kids.

Without thinking, I step up into the attic and approach him. It takes me two steps to remember why I waited on the ladder. _Shit_. I hear the creaking and already know it's too late.

"Shit!" The ladder is already folding up but that doesn't keep me from trying to stop it. I stomped my foot in frustration as I hear the latch lock in place.

"Did you really just stomp your foot?" Jacob laughs. Why is Jacob enjoying this so much?

"No!" S_hut up Jacob_. "What are we going to do now? It's not like Charlie's coming home."

"You mean Charlie never fixed the ladder?" Jacob asks, starting to laugh. I narrow my eyes, giving Jacob the glare of death.

"No. He said he wasn't going to fix it so we couldn't come up here to play without getting caught." Dang, Charlie should have fixed the latch.

All I want is that damn photo album. This is supposed to be quick and easy, in and out, 30 minutes tops.

_The summer after Jacob's mom died, my Mom went to thrift stores and bought a bunch of suits, dresses, and stuff like that. She put it here in the attic so Jacob and I could come up and play occasionally._

_Jacob was six and I was seven._

_She even had Dad pull lighting and some electrical wires up here so she could use it as a sewing area when she was in the mood. I remember Dad jumping on that one. _

_The project was complete that weekend and all Moms' sewing stuff was situated by Monday, stacked neatly in one small corner of the attic. The kitchen, cleared of Mom's clutter, had nothing but the kitchen table in it. Dad loved that. Jacob and I spent hours up here. _

_At the time, I didn't know Mom was sick. I remember the ambulance coming to get her. Jacob and I were stuck in the attic and we couldn't get the attic door to open to drop the steps to the floor. I remember watching, out the small window, as the paramedics were loading Mom into the ambulance. Her color was white as she fought with the men as they loaded her up into the ambulance before disappearing down the road. Jacob watched and I cried. We watched the sun set and the stars come out that night._

_After an hour or so, I stopped crying even though I wanted Mom and Dad. So did Jacob, but he stayed strong and held me. "Shh, B, its going to be okay, I promise," he kept saying over-and-over. I really had to pee and so did Jacob; we were both getting hungry too. Jacob found a pot and made a little bathroom for us to use and he promised not to look._

_Sometime during the night, my dad came home and found us asleep on a pile of clothes on the floor in the attic, with Jacob's arms wrapped around me. When we woke up in the morning, I was in my room and Jacob was on the couch. Billy and my dad were in the kitchen talking quietly. _

_That's the day I found out my mom was sick. I was eight, almost nine. I found out Mom had been sick for a while._

"Um, Bella, I think your Dad lied to you. Look!" The ladder is down and Jacob has already moved half way down. I quickly follow behind. I am not staying in the attic one minute longer than I need to.

I hear Jacob on the phone when I hit the bottom step.

"Um, Bella, Billy wants to know if you can come to La Push for dinner, seeing as you're in town. He seems hopeful," Jacob laments from the front door as he exits the house, photo album now in hand. Jacob had found it in the footlocker before grabbing the top hat.

"Um, well, I guess so. I'm already late hitting the road. Thanks to you." I'm laughing as I tease Jacob. I may not like being in the house or in Forks without my dad, but it still feels like home.

"Let me grab my purse, lock up and we can be on our way." I descend the hall stairs to the living room to grab my purse and check my phone. We have been here for almost three hours. Where did the time go?

With a quick glance, I notice I have a missed call on my phone. I call my voice mail as I lock the door behind me.

"Hey, Bella, is everything okay," Jacob asks. I am still on the porch with the phone to my ear. Jacob has already gotten to his truck. I flip my phone shut.

"Um… I'm sorry, Jacob, I'm not going to be able to head over to La Push with you. Please tell Billy I'm sorry but I have to get back to Seattle. Charlie's not having a good day," I say as I head for my car.

Jacob walks me to my car asking if there is anything he can do. There really isn't, so I give him a hug and tell him I will try to stay in touch and be a better friend.

* * *

**I know the story seems like it's going slow. Sorry, that's just the way the story demanded to be written. Stick with it and it will get more interesting.**

**Thanks to heretoreview this weeks rec is "This is my Wish". Warning you must have a box of tissues next to you. I almost couldn't read past the first chapter. Grabbed myself a roll of toilet paper. Also, it is not complete. WIP *oh lights on and now I know what WIP stands for.**

**/s/6482817/1/This_is_My_Wish**

**DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW. CLICK THE LITTLE BUTTON AND LEAVE A LITTLE LOVE!**


	7. 6: Dusk till Dawn

**a/n Thank you Batgirl and Storypainter, for all the wonderful work you have done to help make this story read smoother. I know the timing isn't always easy and I'm impatient at times, but thank you.**

**Thank you for the review Imheretoreview and the chats on twitter. With all that said I'm shutting my mouth here and adding rec's at the end.**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Dusk till Dawn**

Now that I'm finally on the road, I dial Angela, knowing she will be at Courtyard Rehab. I have to find out what is going on with Charlie.

"Hey, Ang, it's Bella. Give me a call when you get this message. I'm on my way back to town. I hope everything is okay. I'll be there as soon as I can." I hang up and note it is almost 8:00 p.m. I won't get home until 1:00 a.m.

As soon as I hit Port Angeles, I pull into a convenience store and score myself a large cup of coffee, use the ladies' room, and fill the tank before hitting the road again. I won't have to stop till I hit Seattle. I knew this would be a hard trip but I didn't think it would be emotional too.

I try to call Jacob to tell him how sorry I am and maybe explain to Billy what happened, at least what I know. His voice mail picks up after a few rings. I leave a quick message, apologizing again for having to leave so fast and end the call. A few minutes later my cell rings and it's Jacob's name on the caller ID.

"Hey, Jacob, sorry about having to leave so quickly. I want to apologize again and maybe explain to Billy over the phone," I rattle quickly.

"Oh, sorry, Bella, I'm not at home. I'm on my way to Port Angeles. Dinner kind of got canceled, and, after I took Seth back home, I decided I wanted to go for a ride. That's why I didn't answer the phone. I had to pull over first."

"You still have those old bikes?" I ask when I hear Jacob reference going for a ride.

"Of course I do. What, you think I would get rid of them?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. I really haven't had a lot of time in the last few years to think about it."

"Bella, whenever you're ready, they're still sitting there, waiting. I keep them tuned up and running just in case you come home and want to go for a ride."

"I hope you're not waiting for me, Jacob." Out of the corner of my eye I see red dots moving through the tree line. I know what those dots are, and, before I can think, I drop the phone and hit the breaks. "Shit!" I grip the steering wheel tighter as I try to control the slide my car has gone into. All I can hear is the squealing of tires and screaming.

"Shit! Shit! Stoooop!" My heart is pounding and my breathing labored now that the car is stopped. I rest my head on the wheel and try to catch my breath before I look around. It is a clear night, and the moon is full. I've lived in the city for too long because I forgot that the deer would be on the move tonight. I count them as they cross the road. Seven deer in all. I close my eyes and lay my head back against my seat trying to calm my racing heart.

I hear a distant voice calling my name and realize that my phone is still open and Jacob is screaming through it. I feel the car move just a bit, and I use more pressure on the brakes before putting it in park. I grab the phone and bring it to my ear.

"It's okay, Jacob. I'm okay." I try to assure him. "It was just some damn deer," I say, disgusted with my failure to foresee them.

"Where are you?" Shit, Jacob isn't going to let it go. I can tell.

"About 15 minutes outside of Port Angeles, I think. I'm gonna sit here for a few minutes."

"I'll be there in 15 minutes!" And before I can respond, the line is dead. Can this night get any longer? I know better than to leave. I wait for Jacob because if I don't, he will follow me all the way back to Seattle. That's just how Jacob is. So I close my phone and wait.

I don't believe it takes Jacob ten minutes to get to me and my nerves are still shaky when he arrives. I haven't assessed my situation when I see his headlight in the distance, or when I hear his bike as he gets closer. I continue to rest my head on the wheel until my door flies open and Jacob is right there. I don't jump or scream this time because I expect Jacob to be _overprotective._

"Jesus, Bella, you scared the shit out of me. Let me have a look at you." It is not a request, so I turn my head to look at him and then sit back in my seat.

"I'm fine, Jacob. It was just a bunch of deer," I reply. Jacob's eyes roam my body until he looks me in the eye. He stands up and takes off his shirt, which rather shocks me. His chest is broad and slightly heaving. His muscles ripple as his stomach muscles tighten, showing lines of well toned abs.

It has definitely been too long since I had a date, if I'm looking at my best friend with these kinds of thoughts.

"You're not fine, Bella. You're bleeding." His tone is sharp, and I raise my hand to my head. Sure enough, my head is bleeding. Thank God the smell of blood doesn't bother me anymore. I laugh when I see the blood on my hand.

Jacob presses his shirt to my head before he leads me out of the car and over to his bike. His hands are shaking almost as bad as mine.

"I think we should call an ambulance," Jacob starts but stops when I look at him. _Are you kidding me?_

"It's nothing, Jacob, a small cut. I'm fine. I don't have time for this. I've got to get back to Seattle _NOW_." My tone is sharper than I want it to be. My frustration level is starting to peak, and I see Jacob's eyes flash with anger.

"Fine!" Jacob yells, in turn heading to the car. He walks around the car assessing the damage, and I just look at the ground. I know as much about getting my car unstuck as I do about using a wrench. Nothing.

How can I have been so stupid? I know to watch for deer, and I didn't. I check Jacob's shirt to see if my head is still bleeding. It looks like it has stopped, mostly. I press it to my head again, trying to clean up more of the blood.

Jacob tries moving the car, but it won't budge, so he walks around for a bit to find enough tree branches and stuff to put under the rear wheel. It doesn't take him long, and he has the car straight and back on the road again. I guess it is a good thing he's here. I would never have gotten the car unstuck.

After he gets out of the car, he hands me my purse. "Your phone's ringing." His tone is sharp as he goes to stand by the car.

I pull out my phone and have a missed call from Angela. I don't need another person acting like Jacob, so I decide I will call her later. Jacob talks on his phone by the car as well. I wonder who he is talking to. I don't catch his conversation as he walks back over to me. I stand up and start to take a few steps. I feel somewhat dizzy. Jacob catches me by the arm and steadies me. He then walks over to the passenger side of my car and opens the door, motioning with his hand for me to get in.

"Get in!" Again it's an order, not a request. I really scared Jacob. I start to protest and am cut off.

"I said Get in!" I let out a quick huff of my breath and sit in the passenger's seat of the car. Jacob slams the door shut and walks around to the driver's side of the car. How he manages to get his almost six plus foot frame into the driver's seat is amazing. Jacob sits for a minute before he opens his eyes and starts the car. He doesn't look at me, and he doesn't talk to me before he pulls the car out on the road and heads towards Olympia.

"What about your bike, Jacob?" I look at him and then out the back window watching as his bike disappears behind us.

"Seth is on his way in the truck to get it. He has to be in Seattle on Monday so he's going to pick me up then. I hope _that _is okay." His tone is flat and final. There will be no arguing with him about this.

"You still have that extra long couch?" he asks his voiced a bit calmer.

"Ya, I still have it."

_Five years ago Jacob came to visit me in Seattle. He was checking out the University there. We had made up a bed on the floor for him because he had gotten so tall (but still skinny) and there was no way he could squeeze into my day-bed that I had from when I lived in the dorms. We were out on the town as I showed him the sights of Seattle when we passed this used furniture store. _

_I needed another bookcase so we walked in to see what they had. We didn't find a bookcase, but we did find this custom built couch that was eight and half feet long. Jacob was 6 feet tall at the time. He knew it would fit in my living room, and I still didn't have a couch, so we bought it and took it home in my old truck that now belonged to him. _

_Getting it into the apartment had been nearly impossible, so we had to take it in through sliding glass door off the bedroom. People just stood there and watched as we hoisted it up using the balcony above mine. I didn't think we were going to get it in there. But we did. Actually, Jacob had made it look easy. It was definitely easier getting into the apartment than out of it. Getting the couch in only took two people, getting it out took six._

I know Jacob will never fit in my hide-a-bed chair. I bought it from the hospital that was updating some of their furniture. I guess that is where I will be sleeping tonight. Too bad the couch is too big for the living room.

I look out the window into the darkness, hiding the small smile that graced my lips.

At least I'm heading back to Seattle, my apartment, my camera, the park, and Charlie. I know what will happen after I talk to Angela and Charlie.

Jacob and I will go back to my apartment. He'll sleep in my room, and I'll sleep in the living room.

Tomorrow, I'll get up, grab a cup of coffee at the Java Joint, and then spend some time at the Park. If I don't see Copper…_ (God, I hate that name. I really have to find out what his real name is)_ at the coffee shop, I will see him at the park. I just know it. I let my eyes close thinking back to Wednesday.

"_Morning Garrett." It's my turn at the counter. Students from the University are already at the tables and hiding away in the library area. A place I know very well._

"_Aye. The usual, Miss Bella?"_

"_Yes, please. Benjamin's in class today I take it?" I ask. Garrett loves to talk about his adopted son. I just love to hear Garrett talk with that southern voice of his. It's even funnier when he and his wife start talking really fast. I throw a five dollar bill on the counter as my two cups of coffee are placed in front of me._

"_Have a good day!"_

"_Thanks, Garrett, I will," I reply as I struggle with the two cups of coffee and the door. I'm not paying attention when I turn, feeling myself being freed from the door. I bump into a movable surface that wasn't there a second ago, accidentally spilling the contents of one cup of coffee down the front of a white button-down shirt and then dropping the other cup as I try not to spill that cup on him too._

_I pull my hands down my face trying not to laugh; only me. Coffee is everywhere. I look up into a pair of emerald-green eyes shadowed with dark wet hair. Copper is dressed in a white button-down shirt, blue jeans, and a wool jacket that has been left open. _

_He's leaning forward, holding his shirt away from his skin. His lips hang between a grimace and a grin. His eyes look tired but hold a mischievous glint._

"_Oh my God!" I cry as I dart back inside for a towel that Garrett already has in hand, laughing. _

"_I am so, so, sorry," I say as I try to pat him dry before he grabs the towel from my hand. "Please forgive me. I wasn't paying attention." I gape as he uses the towel to dry his shirt. _

"_Well, if this is what it takes to meet a lovely woman in this town…" he voices and I feel the heat rush to my face as his words sink in, "so be it." His voice definitely isn't local, but I can't place where it's from._

_My words are trapped in my throat. I'm not used to compliments. I stammer and stutter out a thank you. I open the door to Java and let him go first._

"_Garrett?" I'm frustrated and don't know what to do to make it up to him, and I don't have time to figure it out._

"_Here you go," I say to Garrett as I had him back the hand towel. _

"_I'll catch you tomorrow, sweetheart." Garrett waves me off. He knows I have to get to work. I'll pay him tomorrow for the three cups of coffee. The two replacement cups, for the ones I spilled, and the one that he gave to Copper, on the house._

_I'm already through the door, when I hear Copper try to ask what my name is. I grab my hair realizing I didn't ask him his either._

* * *

_**This weeks rec is Green, written by Brattyvamp. I really liked the innocence of the story and think you might as well. s/6108912/1/bGreen_b (Complete)**_

_**WIP Hmm… "Portrait of a girl" by Zors, has a lot of potential. I'm waiting for the next update.**_ _**/s/5061598/1/bPortrait_b_of_bA_b_bGirl_b**_

_**Copy and paste into Internet Explorer. We all know the beginning addy is. I only add Fanfiction stories because you don't have to be a member to read the stories and I can never get into other websites. My days would be totally consumed if I could. Laundry would pile up and the dishwasher would never get turned on. Lol. Enjoy reading. **_

_**Okay, Storypainter, I'm never sending a chpt back for a second review...I HATE COMMA'S. One day i'm going to write a one shot and not one single comma in it. lol...roflmoa Just joking. Thank you so much for the second review. I truly appreciate it, but hate the fact that comma's are my immortal enemy lol.**_


	8. 7: Temper

**Welcome back. I know some think the story is going slow. It will be a few more chapters and then you will start to understand why. I have tried to shorten the story a bit, but the story refuses to let go of any chapters. Comments should be made as reviews. It's easy. Just click the line that says review.**

* * *

Chapter 7: Temper

"Bella. Hey, Bella, wake up. Your phone's ringing again," Jacob says as he gently shakes me awake. _When had I fallen asleep? Where were we? Who was calling me? What time was it?_ I blink my eyes trying to focus my vision despite green eyes from my dream ghosting before me. I can see the lights of Seattle through the window, behind their shape. I grab my phone from my purse and answer without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello." My voice is still thick and raspy from sleep. The voice on the other end tells me it's Angela.

"Yeah, Ang, its okay…sorry… I didn't mean to worry you… Yeah, we will be there in about half an hour, okay… Right outside of Seattle…I'll explain later…yes please, two cups though… thank you… bye." I close my phone and toss it back into my bag. "Ugh…" Angela is as bad as Jacob at times.

"Everything okay, Bells?" How can Jacob sound so alert at this time of night/morning?

"Yes. Well… as much as can be I guess. We have to go visit Charlie." I never did tell Jacob why I had to head back to Seattle. "Then we can go back to my place and get some real sleep," I say because that's where I really want to be, my apartment and bed.

When we make it to town, I direct Jacob to the Rehab center. Jacob follows me into the building that now houses Charlie. We are greeted with two cups of hot coffee and a visibly relieved, wide-eyed Angela. I take a quick drink of coffee before continuing down the hallway. Jacob quietly follows behind and Angela watches Jacob. I can wait to have _that_ conversation.

Charlie needs to calm down. I can hear him half way down the hall. I knock on his door and more yelling commences.

"Hey, Charlie, What's going on?" I announce myself instantly the yelling ceases. I hear a loud thud as I push the door open. The room is torn to shreds. A hurricane can't do this much damage.

"Is my daughter okay? Where is she? You have to make sure she is okay. She hasn't gotten stuck somewhere or had an accident has she?" This is the most panicked I've heard his voice in awhile.

"Yes, Charlie, she's fine," I respond. Think quick, Isabella, stuck, accident, how do I explain this one? "Um… she got stuck at work late because there was a really bad accident on the freeway last night." Hopefully that will help him calm down and end… end whatever is going on in that head of his.

How Charlie always knows something is wrong, like this, is still beyond me. It's kind of freaky unless you're use to it. It's been like this since his accident. Relief covers the features of his face.

"You're sure? I mean…" Charlie asks. He believes me; I can hear it in his voice, but he doesn't finish the question as he looks at the mess he has created.

"Ya, I'm sure. What, you think I'm going to lie to you, Charlie?" Charlie just shakes his head and waves me off, still looking at the clutter around him.

"It's just…I forgot to fix the access door to the attic and I'm not going to be home for a couple of days." This is what caused the whole freak out, but I can't tell him he fixed it. That would cause another freak out. Charlie starts picking up books and putting them back into the bookcase. I start to help him, handing him books and other things that lay scattered on the floor.

"Who are you?" I jump and look at Charlie, who is looking at the door. I turn and see Jacob looking back at Charlie with shock and disbelief, clearly written on his face. He looks at me questionably. As if I can explain what's going on with Charlie with just my thoughts. I have to remember Jacob hasn't seen Charlie like this before. I give Jacob a small shrug of my shoulders letting him know that I can't explain right now.

Angela must have found Jacob a shirt because now he is wearing a scrub top. It looks tight and uncomfortable on his large frame. Angela must have gotten an eyeful.

"Charlie, this is my friend. His name is Jake -" I start to explain before being cut off by a very angry looking Charlie. His face is red as he approaches me.

"Did _he_ do this to you?" he asks as he points a finger at Jacob and his other hand touches my hairline exposing the cut there.

"Oh god..." I'd forgotten about my head. "No. No, Charlie it's okay. I slipped and hit my head." It's not a total lie. _The car had slipped and I hit my head_.

"I tried to get her to go to the emergency room, but she's stubborn just like her father," Jacob adds. Yes, Jacob is confused. He has never seen Charlie like this but he doesn't have to feed me to the sharks either. I give him a glare and he knows he should look guilty. I'm still glad he played along because I don't know how Charlie would deal if Jacob made a slip.

"I didn't ask you boy. I asked her…" His eyes revert back to me, full of concern. "You're sure?" I laugh at the concern lacing his voice. If I didn't know better I might think I'm right there on the edge of his memories. That he _is_ remembering me.

"Yes Charlie, I'm sure. Everything is fine." I hold his hand, looking him in the eye. "I don't know which one of you two is worse at being all Mr. Protective. Now, let's get this room in order before someone gets into trouble." I end the conversation by handing Charlie another book. Jacob comes into the room and puts the mattress back onto Charlie's bed.

When everything is back to normal, all ship shape, thirty minutes later, I tell Charlie to get some rest, and I will see him again on Monday. Then I drive Jacob and me back to my apartment. It only takes about fifteen minutes to get home and the car is quiet as I drive. I can almost hear the wheels turning a-hundred-miles-a-minute in Jacob's head.

Once we are in front of my apartment building, I explain to Jacob that I had to move to a new apartment a while back, and he follows behind as I make my way to the apartment. I don't tell him about Mike or how I couldn't afford my old apartment.

"Home sweet home," I say as I open the door to my, much smaller apartment. I drop my purse and keys on the stand next to the door and flip on some lights.

"I thought you said you still have the couch," Jacob says as he surveys the living room and its meager furnishings, the TV (that I never watched), my computer desk in all its glory, and a chair that turned into a bed. It's already made so all I have to do is pull it out.

"I do," I say annoyed, as I open the bedroom door. "It's in here." I wave him over towards the door, leaving it open for him as I go to pull out the hide-a-chair bed. "It's okay, Jacob. I usually sleep here anyway." I can see the hesitation as he looks through the door of the bedroom.

"Besides I have to be up early and this way I won't wake you." I add just so he knows it is fine. I closed the door to the bathroom as I get ready to take a shower and wash the day's events and smell away.

Once I am done in the shower, I place a small butterfly band-aid over the cut on my forehead and put on my pajamas.

"It's all yours, Jacob," I announce as I exit the bathroom. I grab his shirt from the stand next to the door and put it in the washer. I turn on the bedroom light, leaving the door open, then turn off the lights in the living room finally able to crawl into bed. This should have taken place six or seven hours ago.

The sound of the shower relaxes me and when Jacob comes out of the bathroom, he has a towel wrapped around his waist. I pretend to be asleep.

"Bells." His voice is quiet and sweet, but I don't answer. "Good night, Bells," Jacob whispers. I listen to him cross the room and close the bedroom door. _Good night Jacob_. I don't open my eyes before sleep overtakes me.

My dream of green eyes starts off where it ended earlier.

* * *

**This weeks rec's. It's so hard because there are so many great stories out there. For a complete story try Through the Flames by sparklingtwilight /s/5883476/1/ - I enjoyed this one. It's about a fire fighter that gets injured during a rescue and what he goes through to find himself again.**

**For a WIP, hmmm. Let me see. I'm reading so many right now. Try Where the sidewalk ends by bronzehairedgirl /s/6069010/1/Where_the_Sidewalk_Ends. I think it is going to take some great turns. Every other chapter is written from Edward's POV or Bella's POV. Time piece. Edwards been convicted of Murder and is now living in Alcatraz.**

**Don't forget to review. I love them. Tell me what you think. It doesn't have to be positive just not ugly.**

**Thank you Storypainter and Batgirl for being awsome Beta's. I'm so sorry for all the confusion this week. My bag lol. **

**If you need a Beta check out ProjectTeamBeta. They are awsome. You just can't have my Beta's until this story is done lol.**


	9. 8: Hide and Watch

**Welcome back friends. Yes, finally a new update. This chapter went back and forth a few times. I hope you enjoy the resulting chapter thanks to my beta's, Batgirl and Storypainter. You two are awesome.**

**Thank you, Random Nonsense Unlimited, for your review. I hope you enjoy where this story takes you. Thank you Heretoreview and aiden for your faithful reader ship.**

**I hope that I can get the next few chapters out a little quicker, but I'm not holding my breath lol. Hopefully I can find a little more time to do just that. **

* * *

**Chapter 8: Hide and Watch**

It is 8:00 a.m. when I walk out the front door. Jacob is still sound asleep and probably will be for quite a while. I leave a note, letting him know I have some errands to run, but will be home around 4:00 tonight. _Make yourself at home. I will bring dinner back with me when I'm finished_.

I hope today is good because I missed my time at the park last night with my trip to Forks. I take roost not far from the playground this time, so the sun is behind me and not in my eyes. I listen to classical music on my MP3 player.

Just after 9:00 in the morning, I watch as the sun crests at the top of the trees, shinning.

There's not much going on this morning. It's pretty quiet. I take a drink of my coffee, and it feels good going down. I sit back letting my thoughts skim over everything that happened yesterday. I think about how Charlie overreacted last night. How did he know? I let it go, because Charlie always knows.

I think about Jacob being here in Seattle until Monday. I think about how tomorrow's gallery might play out. It won't, if I don't get twenty-four pictures.

I think about the cryptic email from Jessica last Sunday and remind myself _not _to take pictures of Rosalie. _Why?_ I'm not sure. I know there is a story there, but I wasn't given any reasons or answers. Just don't do it. _Why?_ The question stays in the back of my thoughts.

I need to keep my thoughts on what is in front of me, for now. I need to focus on getting twenty-four pictures.

There are a couple of people here, but I don't feel a picture is close. I keep an eye out, waiting for that feeling I get just before. Right now, it's mostly joggers, and some people walking the track. I check my watch and see it's almost 9:00, and I still haven't gotten a shot that I'm happy with.

I see Granny Anne walking down the path towards the bench she always sits at, a small bag of bread in hand. She's early today. She doesn't usually arrive until early afternoon. I consider her through the lens of my camera as she approaches the bench and sits. I plainly see her as she is facing the playground. I monitor her as she feeds the birds and take a few pictures. _Click, click, click. _She seems so lonely today-like me. Nevertheless, she's over there, and I'm over here. She's part of the action and I'm just watching.

My eyes stretch across the park taking everything in. People are starting to show up. Breakfast is over and the kids want out of the house before family tasks consume them and their parents.

I can tell today is going to be a hard one. My attention is divided between the park and my life in general. My thoughts return to Charlie, Jacob, and last night. I don't know how Jacob is handling seeing my father like that. When we were kids, Jacob wanted to grow up and be just like him, but that was when we were kids. What does he think now? My thoughts are all over the place.

I think about stained shirts and green eyes, as I sip the light, rich, coffee. Why did I have to be in a rush? I haven't been affected by a man's presence in a long time and definitely not like this; never like this. What is his name? I hate the name I've given him in my head. Does it really matter? No. There's not room in my life, right now, for anyone else. Someday, maybe.

I see a jogger coming through the trees. He must have started his run on the other side.

I watch for anything that gives me a reason to push the shutter button on my camera, but I'm not getting anything. Maybe I _am_ just distracted because my head doesn't seem to want to shut up. My thoughts are all over the place.

I wonder why Jacob still mows Dad's lawn. He's not being paid. _Click, click, click_. Dang, I miss a shot, all I get is a picture of the grass; ironic, but fitting. I decide to keep it.

I sit back in my chair. I try not to think, about anything, to get my focus back, but it's not working. My head is running a marathon of its own. I put my MP3 player back on and try to liberate my thoughts from the world and get back behind the camera.

It's been almost an hour and not much is happening. I worry that I'm not going to get my pictures today, at least not all of them when a figure catches my eye. All I see is a set of curly hair heads, one blond and one black.

It's Jasper and his son. I'm excited over the prospect and wonder if the whole family is going to show up today, but I don't notice anyone else yet. There's no Alice, Rosalie, Esme, or Copper. I can't believe I didn't get his name when I ran into him. I don't want to think about him. I only want to think about now and tomorrow.

Jasper is pushing a baby in a stroller, while his son walks next to him. The infant can't be Jasper's, because (I know) I saw Rosalie feeding the baby last weekend, not Jasper. Maybe it's his niece or nephew. I don't know, yet.

They head for the playground. Jasper's' eyes are on his son, but he is looking around too. He's guarded, protective, and possibly cautious. I'm not sure because I don't know him, but that's how I read his body language and expression.

Jasper watches his son play, as he continues to the picnic tables. He unloads the picnic supplies from the stroller (while the infant relaxes inside) and sets the items on the table. Once the task is completed he returns to the edge of the playground with the stroller. I can't see the baby from here, but I know he or she is still in the stroller.

With the same energy the little boy showed last weekend, he bounces and struggles to climb the steps to the slide. Before he can reach the top of the ladder, Jasper is behind him. I don't see him coming. He doesn't run up the ladder pulling his son down but follows his son up the ladder as well.

_Click, click, click._

I snap a picture of the smile that shines on both of their faces as I watch Jasper stealthily move behind his son. Jasper whispers something to his son. His son doesn't move and his smile is replaced with curiosity. He's watching something and I have no idea what. The only thing I see is Granny Anne feeding the birds.

Jasper and his son go down the slide. Today, I can hear the child squeal loud and clear. Jasper completes the few strides back to the stroller quickly, picking up the infant before heading back to the table.

"Caleb, come on, let's get a snack." Jasper's voice is rich with a southern accent I've only heard in movies. It's not overly deep or rough. You can hear the authority of his voice as it carries in all directions.

Now I know the little Boy's name. I'm starting to put the pieces together.

It only takes a few minutes for Caleb to es capes from his father again, running to the playground area leaving Jasper with a baby in his lap at the picnic table.

Jasper saunters after Caleb with the infant close to his chest. His expression isn't happy but it isn't angry either.

"Caleb," I hear Jasper call, but I'm watching Caleb, and he doesn't stop at the sound of his name or at the sight of the playground. Jasper is too far behind to catch him before Caleb runs to Granny Anne.

Caleb climbs up on the bench next to her, putting his sandwich into his mouth and handing Granny Anne the bag that he brought with him.

Jasper quickens his pace to catch up.

_Click, click, click. _

I get a picture of Caleb with a mouth full of sandwich and Granny Anne with a smile that I haven't seen on her face in a good six months.

Jasper adjusts the baby to his hip before kneeling in front of Caleb. I can't see Jasper's face, and I only catch glimpses of dark curly hair moving side to side. Caleb is refusing whatever Jasper is asking.

Fascinated, I watch the interaction between Jasper, Caleb, and Granny Anne. Jasper wraps one arm around Caleb. It appears Jasper, is about to hoist Caleb from the bench when Granny Anne intercedes placing her elderly hand on his. Granny Anne smiles while speaking to him.

I wish I could hear what they are saying. It takes a few minutes before Jasper releases Caleb and sits next to him, opposite Granny Anne.

The look on Jasper's face is now… how do I describe it… peaceful, content, proud, or a mixture of them all? He gently palms the infant's back. The action is caring, loving, and warm as he holds the infant to his chest.

_What a place to be_. _Protected and cared for_. His actions now dramatically different from his early guarded body language.

Granny Anne reaches into the bag that Caleb gave her, pulling out a small package before returning it to Caleb. Caleb passes it to Jasper. Jasper struggles with the box and holding the baby for a minute. After completing the task, he hands the box back to Caleb.

It's a box drink, and as Caleb drinks, Jasper plays with the black curls on his son's head. Granny Anne smiles, and starts talking while she pulls something out of her bag. Breaking the bread apart into smaller pieces, she hands some to Caleb. In between bites of his sandwich and sips from his drink, Caleb helps Granny Anne feed the birds.

_Click, click, click_.

My finger works overtime. A theme unfolds before me, and the pieces come together instantly. I'm amazed I didn't see it before.

I'm not even thinking as I take the pictures. I will look at them later, but I cannot and will not miss this. What people have failed to do for one another, the innocence of a child has overcome. The sadness that's been written in the lines of Granny Anne's face for a while now has disappeared. There even appears to be a gleam in her eye.

Granny Anne and Jasper continue to talk, even after the sandwich and the drink, and the bread are gone. Caleb slides from his perch and gives Granny Anne a hug and a kiss before rolling himself, literally, to the playground as the adults watch, laughing.

Jasper looks at the top of the hill where I usually sit while they continue to talk. He looks back and forth between that spot and Granny Anne as she speaks to him. Again, I wish I could hear the conversation. Granny Anne pats Jasper on his arm and shakes her head a few times. It looks like Jasper is talking to Granny Anne about me, if I'm not mistaken. Well, not me-me, but photographer-me.

It's not long before Jasper stands up, shifting the baby to his hip again, and offers a hand to Granny Anne which she accepts. It's a strange interaction for me to watch. It's almost as if they have known each other all their lives. I watch Jasper walk with Granny Anne the few steps to the running path, watching after her for a minute, before he sits back down with the baby to watch Caleb, who is now moving back to the playground.

Granny Anne doesn't look back until she is almost out of sight.

_Click, click, click. _

Jasper doesn't see it but I do, and it's a moment captured, frozen in time. I can see what effect Jasper and Caleb's companionship means to Granny Anne from the smile on her face.

After the few hours here at the park, the decision isn't hard to make. I don't need twenty-four _new _pictures. I have three perfect pictures from today, maybe more, and I don't have to stay until four or later. I can be home for lunch.

Caleb, an innocent child, made today about Granny Anne by stepping into her world. If a child can do that, then so can I. Though it doesn't happen like this often, I have been inspired.

Tomorrow's gallery will be about Granny Anne.

It's not until I get home, and Jacob startles me, that I even remembered he's here. I found my focus at the park again and left thoughts about everything else behind. When I walk through the front door, carrying dinner, Jacob greets me.

"Oh God, Jacob!" I screech. "You scared me," I chide.

"I'm sorry, Bells. I didn't mean to. Are you done with your errands?" Jacob helps lift the burdens from my hand as he asks.

"Yes. Yes, I am, mostly." I can't wait to get to my computer, and I smile at the thought. I shake my arms out after placing the rest of my things on the table. There is excitement in my voice, and I'm sure I'm wearing a goofy grin because Jacob laughs.

"Well, that's good to hear. What kind of errand did you run that made you so happy?" Jacob looks puzzled as he assesses my belongings.

"Ah, first Thing's first. Are you hungry Jacob?" It's a rhetorical question. Jacob never turns down food and today is no different; even steak and potatoes served by vampires wouldn't change his answer.

"Duh," Jacob says while helping me unpack the groceries I purchased. Lunch will be tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches.

As I assemble our meal, I see one of the photo albums from my bookshelf lying on the chair. It's hard to let someone come in and move my stuff around, when I've been on my own for so long. It's hard to share this part of myself with anyone.

"I'm sorry if you were bored, Jacob. I didn't want to leave you alone. I just have my routine, and it gives me what I need to make it through the next week. I'm sorry," I start to explain before Jacob cuts me off.

"Hey, it's no problem, Bells. I only woke up about an hour ago, took a shower, and I'm sorry, I should have waited, but I started looking through those photo albums you've been collecting." He picks up the book and brings it to the counter.

"This SIM guy is a really good photographer. I've never seen anything like it." I have to snicker because I knew Jacob would be curious. "You must really like his style because I think you have every one of his books." He looks at me for confirmation. I grin to myself and place the sandwiches in the pan to grill. I'm going to tell him; I have to tell him now that he has seen the books, but I want to enjoy the confused-lost look on his face a little longer pondering why I seem to like this photographer.

"I think there's about 120 or so. I haven't counted them in awhile," I say as I place our sandwiches on the plates. Lunch is ready. Jacob being here throws off my schedule. Normally I would already be sitting at the computer instead of having lunch.

"Wow. He's really good. I think I went through about twenty of them already." Jacob doesn't have the knack for using a camera, but he does have good taste.

"But I'm confused. Where did you find those books? They all look new and I've never seen them in the book store in Port Angeles." I laugh at his put-out tone.

"Well, maybe you should go with me tomorrow and see for yourself then." Yes, I am purposely being evasive. I can see that it's starting to irritate him. He just stares at me.

"Bella, stop it! You don't have to tease me, you know. Just tell me," he concludes, still waiting for an answer.

"There's a gallery showing tomorrow, of SIM's work like you have never seen before." Jacob starts drumming his fingers on the table, making me smile. He won't take much more of my attitude. Lunch is finished so I clear the table.

"Bells?" his voice warns, slipping slowly over my name, and I laugh at his playfulness.

"Fine, but let's do this at my pace, and then you _might_ understand." Jacob just glares. His eyes never leave me as I walk back into the dining room area and grab my camera bag.

I pull out the SD card from my camera and walk over to my computer that I booted up when I came in and wake it up from sleep mode. I open my photography program and start uploading the pictures. Jacob is right behind me, watching. He doesn't say a word as I go through the pictures picking from the three definite shots from today.

"Shh!" I exclaim. I can feel Jacob behind me, and I'm aware he is about to start a barrage of questions. I can hear his jaw snap shut, but he doesn't move an inch. I scroll through the thousands of photos I have on my external drive pulling in pictures from the past three years. I already know which photos I'm looking for and that are important to me. I am sure Jacob is lost because I'm flipping through files so fast. I find twenty photos and now I'm looking for one more to complete the grouping.

"Stop, go back!" Jacob orders from behind me. I snort and he nudges me in the chair. "Back, back, back… that one right there," he instructs.

_Yup, things are starting to come together for him_. _I told you Jacob had an eye for pictures. _It's the picture I am looking for anyway.

It's a picture of Granny Anne, Jon, her husband, and two of their grandchildren. It was captured shortly after the birth of SIMS, the photographer. I have my twenty-four pictures. I start working with one picture at a time. I engineer each snapshot into my own work of art.

Jacob resettles himself in the living room. He's not uninterested. He's assembling the pieces together. I perceive the pages turn in the tome he is looking through with new eyes.

After a few hours of single-mindedness, the ensembles are finished and dispatched via email to the Book Company and Jessica. This is a first; everything is done, and it's early enough to actually do something new before dinnertime.

I know the questions are coming but Jacob has remained quiet while I labored over the computer.

"What time is the gallery thing tomorrow, Bells?" Jacob asks. I'm expecting more questions but Jacob seems hesitant.

"Noon." I look at him, and I can feel the heat flush my face. Jacob pulls out his phone and puts it to his ear. I don't know who he is calling, and I don't know what he is going to say.

"Yup…It's all good…Hey can you be here tomorrow about 9:00 am? There is something I think you're going to want to see…Nope, I'm not telling…Ya, you can bring her and do you think you can bring Billy, too? Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it… Okay, let me know… yah… I'll talk to you then… yup… bye."

Frustrated, I only hear one side of the conversation. I don't know what Jacob is up to, but I have an idea, and I'm not very happy about it.

"Who was that?" I question. Jacob avoids me, not meeting my eyes.

"You have your surprises, and I have mine." He shrugs his shoulders.

"Damn it, Jacob, who did you invite? I don't have the room here for a slumber party!" I shriek. Jacob knows I'm incensed. I push myself up from my desk and look around my small apartment. Jacob disregards my question.

"Let's go get something to eat, Bella. It's been a rough two days. Let me spoil you a little. You know I don't come to Seattle often. Well, at all. It's been at least two years." Jacob moves and grabs my purse and holds it out to me. He's being a pushy prick, and I'm already irritated.

"Fine! Have it your way," I fuss. I grab my purse from his hand and extract my keys before opening the door. Jacob dons a shirt over his muscled frame to follow.

"What do you want to eat? And you're paying!" I grumble and Jacob barks out a laugh.

"Whatever, and I planned on that, Bells. And so will you!" Jacob's grin is ear-to-ear. I just want to punch him in his big, fat, arrogant mouth…_knowing his meaning all too well__…shit, because I didn't share SIM's with him before.._

Reaching the sidewalk outside the apartment, I start walking in the opposite direction of my car. I know where I want to go for dinner. There's a little Mom-and-pop diner about a five minute walk from here. The walk will give me a chance to calm down and maybe let Jacob ask his questions.

* * *

**Rec's for this chapter. Hmmm so many good ones out their. Let's start with a completed story.**

**Good Enough by Stacygirl aka jackbauer. Edward works for the FBI. He's the best in his field and the worst at relationships with a habit of falling quickly in and out of love. When he gets shot, his nurse will take care of more than just his medicine. Is she good enough? E/B AH copy/paste s/5284287/1/Good_Enough at the end of for chapter 1.**

**For a WIP hmmm, right now I'm reading a few. I'll share this one. From the Cup of Duty, Edward is a ruler in need of an heir. Isabella Swan comes from fruitful stock. A marriage made in heaven, right? Well...not quite yet. Sometimes duty brings an unexpected gift. Rated M for future lemons. copy/paste s/6961284/1/From_the_Cup_of_Duty, at the end of for chapter 1.**


	10. 9: Discovery

**Thank you Batgirl8968 and storypainter for you awsome ability to beta my comma addiction. Yes, thanks what I am calling it now. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter and remembers to review at the bottom. It only takes a minute and means so much to the author.**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Discovery**

"What?" I look at Jacob and he looks at me. His hands are in his pockets as we walk.

"How did you come up with SIM?" Jacob questions. I smile because it is obvious to me, but not to him.

"Swan, Isabella Marie. Duh," I answer. I glance down the street not meeting his glance as my irritation ebbs. The questions are starting now, and Jacob has put most of it together himself.

"I like what you did with those pictures today. But none of your other work has that kind of theme. Why this one?" he asks, digging his hands further into his pockets. He's the first to know what I do on the weekends, at least that I know of anyway.

"Granny Anne?" I ask to confirm what he wants to know. Jacob nods his head and I consider my feet as I try to explain how Granny Anne has been there since I started taking photos. I tell him how her husband Jon stopped coming to the park six months ago, and how it touched me when Caleb and his family noticed her.

I think how amazing it is that an innocent child can step into someones world and somehow make everything alright.

Most people just say hi, when she's there. But this new family is different, or at least seem to be. And just how the whole idea to feature the last few years I've digitally documented just seemed to fit into the scheme of things.

"If I were her, it would mean a lot to me to know that I hadn't gone unnoticed by someone. It might also creep me out knowing someone was watching me that I didn't know," he explains thoughtfully.

"Don't worry. Granny Anne is not freaked out. She enjoys seeing what I do next. I think it intrigues her more than anything. You'll see tomorrow… at least that is the impression that she gives Jessica."

"Who is Jessica?" Jacob has his eyebrows raised at me.

"You will know more tomorrow…It's more fun this way, isn't it?" I say with a sneaky grin on my face._ You're right Jacob, payback is fun and tomorrow it will happen_. I look at the diner just a little further up the sidewalk. Jacob just shakes his head, laughing. Jacob likes secrets and my playful banter.

As we prepare to eat dinner, we discuss lighter topics, but I can see Jacob still has questions. I also know it won't be long before he asks them. Jacob waits until the server leaves, after serving our dinner. His face is thoughtful as he starts his next line of questioning.

I watch as he opens and closes his mouth several times before he phrases the first question.

"Is Charlie always like that?" Jacob asks. I wasn't expecting him to go there, but I should have. It's probably been driving him nuts since last night; well, actually, early this morning.

"Mostly, I guess…some days are better… some worse," I say as I look at my food. I don't want to tell him it's usually worse and what he saw was mild in comparison. That's why Charlie can't live at home anymore, and I don't want sympathy. Things are what they are. I try to do and be the best I can be every day. I won't burden him, or anyone else, with my problems. I take a bite of my lasagna, so I don't have to continue.

"What are you going to do, Bells?" He's watching me, waiting to see what I'm going to say.

"I'm going to do what I do every day and what I have done every day for the last three years, Jacob. I'm going to deal with it!" I drop my fork down on the table and give Jacob the '_now leave it the fuck alone before you piss me off_ 'look. He knows I'm already mad.

"I'm not judging you, Bells. I'm just asking. Because I don't think anyone knows how bad it really is, even me. I was… shocked last night," he says raising his hands to me in a defensive gesture. Now, I have the '_I dare you'_ look in place before I answer him back.

"And it's going to stay that way! Isn't it, Jacob?" I'm using my '_that's the end of the conversation'_ tone. Jacob takes another bite of his dinner and looks at his plate seemingly hurt that I won't confide in him.

"Yes," is his simple reply. Our table is silent when the server comes back.

"Is everything okay? Can I get you folks anything else?" she asks. She's sweet and conscientious, but I don't look up at her when I tell her, it is and thank you.

I break the silence and the tension that rests between Jacob and me by changing the subject.

"Who did you invite to Seattle tomorrow?" I ask and Jacob wiggles his eyebrows at me and smiles mischievously.

"You'll see, Bella." _Damn It. _He's not going to tell me, so I let it drop. Jacob takes the hint and moves to topics that are more social. Charlie is not a social topic I care to discuss. I want people to remember him the way he was before the shooting, not what Charlie has become.

"It's getting late and I still have a few things to do before I turn in tonight. Are you finished, Jacob?" His plate is empty, and he has started eating off mine. I'm full anyway. I laugh at the bottomless pit across from me.

We stop at the liquor store next door and pick up a bottle of wine as we head home. One glass of wine, after that awesome lasagna, sounds good; and, yes, I grab a beer for Jacob. Neither one of us are big drinkers. The bottle of wine will last six months.

After we get to the apartment, I pour myself a small glass of wine and relax at my computer. I make sure everything is ready for tomorrow.

"I think you should get her a book too, Bells!" I have to think about that for just a second as I realize he's right. This is the first time I have themed a gallery around one person. I set my glass of wine down and email the book company my request for a second copy of it as a gift to Granny Anne.

"You're right!" I say as I hit the enter key to finalize my order for the second book.

"So… how is Forks treating you, Jacob?" I ask, picking up my glass of wine.

"Good. Really good actually. I've pretty much taken over Harry Clearwater's landscaping business, since he had that stroke last year. He calls me his right hand man, and it pays the bills and gives me a little left over to save." He's happy. Jacob just fits in Forks, even though he isn't directly from there but from the La Push Reservation close by. I continue to relax. I'm almost ready for the night to end.

"Bella… Why don't you just sell the house?" Trepidation and caution weave through his question. He knows it's going to piss me off, but he asks it anyway.

And he's right. The question hits from left field and pisses me off. I cannot believe Jacob went there. I put my glass in the sink before I head for the bathroom.

"I'm taking a shower and then I'm heading for bed! And I suggest you do the same." He hears every word before the bathroom door blocks him from view. The tears run down my face as I turn on the shower, Jacob knocks on the door.

"Bells… I'm sorry… forgive me… Please… I was insensitive and my usual jackass self… you know I ask too many questions. Come on, I'm sorry…" He knocks on the door again.

"I don't want to discuss it," I yell at the door. I'm sure Jacob can hear the sadness in my voice, because he apologizes again. "With you or with anyone else!"

I climb into the shower, and it's cold by the time I finish. No one seems to get it; why I won't sell the house. I'm not sure I get it myself at times. But I can't! I won't! End of discussion! Selling my dad's house would be like giving up hope.

I walk into the living room dressed for bed. Before Jacob can say anything, I address the situation. This is personal, and I'm emotional, so I know it will get out of hand if Jacob continues to question me about it.

"No more questions tonight. I'm ready to go to bed. We have an early start for tomorrow, so you better get some sleep." I climb into the chair/bed that Jacob pulled out and set up for me. I turn off the light and roll away from Jacob's stare.

"Goodnight, Jacob." I close my eyes and lay still until I hear the bedroom door close for the second night in a row.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

It's almost 8:30 in the morning when I hear Jacob's phone ring in the bedroom. I know he has invited at least three people over today. I've already started making pancakes preparing for their arrival. It only takes a minute or two before Jacob walks into the living room and asks me to give Billy directions to my apartment.

Jacob gets a glass of water while I talk to Billy. I still don't know who all Jacob's invited to the gallery today; your guess is as good as mine. I still think its disgusting that Jacob is such a social butterfly.

Billy knows his way around Seattle, even if it's gotten bigger in the last twenty years, so it won't take him long to direct the group here. I return to making breakfast and hand Jacob a cup of a coffee to get him out from under foot. I snicker because the only thing that Jacob has asked was about directions. Jacob is not a morning person.

His eyes are still closed, and his hands are wrapped around the coffee cup as if he's going to die if he lets go of it. It rests at his lip only moving enough for him to take a drink. It's actually cute to watch.

"I can't believe you're awake enough to make breakfast." His voice is rough and thick with sleep. He takes another drink of coffee.

"Jacob, I've been awake for almost four hours," I tell him and I snicker to myself. He is acting like I did in high school, not wanting to get up before 9:00 a.m.

"Oh God, you make me feel…old... or hungover." Jacob puts his head down on the table.

"Na, you just like lying in my bed." I laugh because Jacob has always had a hard time waking up in that bed. It actually fits him. I've thought about giving it to him, but it won't fit in his bedroom at home.

"You,re right… I do actually." Jacob takes another sip of coffee. "Bella, you make an awesome cup of coffee. When are you going to marry me?"

"Jacob David Black, don't you start." Jacob snorts because he knows what is coming next; he moves his mouth mimicking my words. "You're the one who went and got a girlfriend first." We both laugh.

"Yeah, but God, that girl could kiss." I have my coffee now, and I join him at the table waiting for Billy and the rest of Jacob's crew to show up. We both laugh. I don't even remember what her name was.

When Jacob and I were kids, we were planning on get married (after we grew up), have two kids, and grow old together. We had it all figured out until some girl decided she liked Jacob in the 5th grade. They dated for three months and I was so mad at Jacob I didn't speak to him for a month before they broke up.

She and Jacob got caught kissing behind a tree at school and were sent to the principal's office. Jacob was grounded for a month, and whatever her name was acted like nothing happened. She was in 6th grade like me. It was also the last year that Jacob attended school off the reservation.

Jacob enjoys his coffee as I lose track of time reminiscing about the past until I come back to reality. Looking at the clock I realized almost twenty minutes have pasted.

"Sometimes I really miss just being a kid," I say, looking at Jacob. He's smiling now and he opens his eyes. They are deep, expressive, and almost the same color as his coffee.

"That's because your life is more complicated than it should be at your age." I can't really argue with his statement.

"It is, what it is, Jacob." I can't look him in the eyes, so I look in my coffee. My dad always told me life wasn't fair, and I think it's more unfair for him than it is for me.

"About last night, I really am sorry Bella." And I know he is. I can hear it in his voice.

We both jump a little when we hear a knock at the door. Billy and the rest of the crew are here. I get up to answer the door, Billy has a big smile on his face as I greet him.

Oh my god. I'm in shock. My eyes try to take in everything about him. I have no words to explain myself. All I can do is wave them in. Billy Black, Seth Clearwater (I should have known), and Claire Waterleaf.

I look from Billy to Jacob and back to Billy, to Seth, to Claire, and back to Billy, as they all walk in, and Billy pulls out a chair and sits down. I can't put two words together to save my life, and they're all laughing. I just stare at Billy, and he stares at me.

"It's an experimental surgery that seems to have some great promise," Billy says, trying to break the ice. "What do you think, kiddo?"

I slap Jacob in the back of the head, really hard, for leaving in the dark about Billy's new ability to walk assisted with canes and leg braces.

"Wow!" That's all I can say. I dang-near attack Billy. Last time I saw Billy, he was in a wheelchair. He has been in that wheelchair for as long as I can remember. Happy tears spill from my eyes as Billy hugs me back. He's like a second father, or a favorite uncle, and I had no clue. I pull myself together.

"How?…When?…Who?" I manage to pull those three words together, but it's not a sentence. Billy pulls me deeper into a hug, and I sit on his lap. I haven't even given Seth or Claire a second thought. "I'm so happy for you, Billy," I whisper into his ear. I wish Charlie could see this.

"So, B, what's for breakfast? I'm starved," Seth says, breaking up the happy reunion.

"Seth Clearwater! Not one bite of my wonderful pancake until I get a hug." I leave the warmth of Billy's lap to get a hug from Seth and Claire.

"Hi ,Bella," Claire says as she gives me a big hug. I haven't seen Claire since she was fifteen or sixteen.

"Well guys, I guess it's Surprise Bella Day. I knew Billy was coming, but I didn't know who else. It's so awesome to see you guys." That's when I notice that Seth and Claire are standing together in a not so 'just friends' manner, and again I'm taken back.

"Well, B, if you came around a little more often you wouldn't be so caught off guard," Seth says as he wraps me into a big hug. I hug him back as tight as I can. He's right. It's been too long. He's so big.

"Okay…enough of the emotional, reunion crap. Who wants breakfast?" Jacob says as he starts passing around a plate of pancakes. Jacob was cooking while I was being floored by my other family.

"Okay, today is way too much," I say, looking at Billy, and then add, "Jacob actually cooked without burning the food." Everyone laughs, Billy the loudest.

We spend the next hour or so catching up and then before it's time to get ready. Jacob hasn't told anyone what's going on and neither have I. Seth and Claire don't seem to mind, but I can tell Billy is curious, but he doesn't ask. He hates to ruin surprises.

Billy tells me about his surgery and that it was eighteen months ago. How the VA in Seattle contacted him to see if he would be interested in an experimental surgery, but whatever happened, there were no guarantees if it would work or not, but it would benefit our soldiers overseas. Billy was all for it and never looked back, never gave up hope, but decided to keep it quiet.

Some neurosurgeon here in Seattle did the surgery free. Claire took some classes to help Billy with his physical therapy. Billy is still progressing and everyone's excited. He left the wheelchair behind nine months ago.

"Well, Bella, how about you get this show on the road, so to speak, and show us this thing you know about." Jacob broke into the conversation, pulling me back into reality. It was now 10:30 a.m. Jessica should be putting everything together.

"We still have some time. It doesn't start until noon, so let me get this all cleaned up. I'll get dressed and then we can go," I suggest.

"I'll do the dishes real quick so that you can get dressed, if that's okay," Claire interjects. She's always been a quiet girl, and I can see that Seth is a perfect match for her. He's a gentle person but don't let that fool you into thinking he couldn't rip your head off if it was justified.

"Sure. Thanks, Claire," I say as I head to grab some clothes. We are headed out the door by 11:30 and arrive at the park with time to spare.

Claire rides with me in my car while Billy rides with Seth in his old beat up truck. Jacob rides his bike that Seth brought with him in the back of the truck. I pull into the parking lot across the street from the park.

Claire is just along for the ride. Billy and Seth know something is going on, and they look confused. So does Jacob when he pulls off his helmet.

Claire joins me at the front of the car, and I place my arm around her shoulders. Claire is petite like me, so it's not too awkward. We wait for everyone else to join us. Once the group is reassembled, I lead the way into the park.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

* * *

A/n- WIP- _**A Rough Start** by itzmegan73_: Overnight irresponsible Edward goes from bachelor to father of a 5 yr old. Meanwhile responsible, prepared Bella begins her first job as Kindergarten teacher at Forks Elementary. When irresponsible meets the epitome of responsible, sparks will fly! Copy and Past /**s/5319052/1/A_Rough_Start **after .

COMPLETE- _**The Cannabean Betrothal** by itzmegan73: _Edward has immersed himself in the Cannabean way to ward off the hurt of a life-changing experience; but an unexpected betrothal teaches him how little he knows about life. There is no abuse in this story. **C&P s/5354724/1/The_Cannabean_Betrothal** after .

**Oh yeah, before I forget, I want to pimp myself out. I just finished and posted a one-shot called Alice's Secret. It's cute and sweet. A quick AxJ meeting that wouldn't leave me alone even though I know it has been done a hundreded times already. Check it out and before you leave, send me a little love by reviewing. click click click.**


	11. 10: Show and Tell

Chapter 10: Show and Tell

As we meander through the park, I notice Jessica hard at work assembling the gallery's frames and fencing. She already has the desk and tent up.

Once we are sitting at a picnic table, Jacob instantly starts in with the questions and I have to laugh because he's so impatient.

"I thought we were going to an art gallery to see SIM's work," he says, with a confused look. He knows who SIM is but, thankfully, he's not telling the rest of the group. I give Jacob my best grin and point to the menagerie Jessica is putting together.

"I told you already, Jacob, it's like nothing you have ever seen." I keep smiling because Jacob is enthusiastic about everything. He's waiting for all the pieces to fall into place.

"We came all the way to Seattle to see an art gallery?" Seth complains when Jacob cuts him off. Billy raises his eyebrow at us with a silent question.

"It's not just any artist, Seth, and yes, you came here to see an art gallery," Jacob replies.

I look over where Jessica is working because I can feel the heat starting to warm my face. This is so embarrassing. I hope they enjoy it but I'm nervous too.

"I didn't invite you, Jacob did, but I'm glad you came anyway," I declare. In a way, it will be nice to have someone else know the creative part of my life. I just hope it doesn't change how things have worked the last several years.

My head feels like a washing machine spinning out of control with everything running through it. I can't get past seeing Billy walking here from the truck. It's amazing and I can't stop watching him sitting at the table and not in his chair. This simple act would have been such a challenge for him two years ago. Billy would have come; he just would have needed help getting over to the picnic tables. I remember how some people use to watch him, not knowing what to do or say, when he came into the restaurant back home for lunch with my dad.

I'm kind of sad at the same time. It would be nice if Charlie could be here to see Billy. _This_ would make my dad cry.

Charlie was first on the scene when Billy and his wife had the car accident. Charlie pulled Billy from the car but as he went back for Maggie, it was to late, the car burst into flames before he could reach her. There's no way to know for sure but for a long time, Charlie blamed himself for Billy's paralysis and his wife's death.

Being with Billy, Jacob, Seth, and even Claire, at the table makes me wish I could disappear into one of my hiding places around the park and take pictures of them; unnoticed, unseen, invisible.

"How much longer, Bells?" Jacob nags.

Billy watches Jessica put together the final touches of the gallery until she moves to her station and begins rifling through paper work. It's time for the show to start.

"Just a few more seconds," I say, as everyone enjoys the view quietly.

With a flip of my hand I let them know they can start wandering over anytime they wish. Jacob is up and moving and the rest of us laugh.

"You're not coming?" Billy asks once we're alone before he gets up on his feet, making sure his braces are in place.

"No. I get to see this every weekend. I like to watch the people more than the gallery," I explain.

Billy just nods and starts making his way towards the gallery. I feel the tears brewing just below the surface as I watch him explore the gallery but they don't fall. I shake off the emotional bedlam before I pull out my cell and take a picture of Billy. I know the picture won't be the same if I used my camera, but it will provide the evidence I need that today is real.

Because this is the first time the gallery has had a theme, I hope Granny Anne shows. Her reaction means the most to me today. I wonder if my crew will understand the theme I've chosen. _"We are not alone - love comes in many forms."_

People roll in after church or other activities, finally getting their day started.

I watch as the boys and Claire move from display to display. I hope Jacob doesn't tell them that it's my work they're looking at.

When I finally detect Granny Anne, she is sitting in her normal spot on the bench feeding the birds as usual. She's doesn't appear her usual self and I note her demeanor. She appears far away and sad. The bag of bread she feeds the birds with lays inactive on her lap. She looks lost and tired. My concern for her is almost overwhelming.

My focal point is involuntarily swayed away when the boys and Claire return to the table. Jacob has a mischievous glint in his eyes. His lips curl up at the edge. Seth speaks to Claire with a hushed-reflective voice as they nod back and forth. Billy's harder to read. He seems captivated, maybe.

The five of us enjoy a weighty conversation about the gallery until Jacob and Seth decide they're hungry. Claire follows them to get sandwiches while Billy stays with me to people-watching. We are quiet for a few minutes before he breaks the silence.

"So, young lady, why did Jacob really invite us up here?" Billy asks. I think he's been waiting until it was just the two of us before asking questions. Billy's never been one to push and knows how to handle a private conversation.

"Honestly, Billy, I'm really not sure, but looking at you this morning I am so very glad he did," I tell him. Billy just smiles.

"How is Charlie?" he asks. Billy seems full of questions now that everyone is gone.

"He's…how do I explain? Physically he is good. Mentally… he's not who you remember." I don't look at him because I know Charlie wouldn't recognize him but maybe I'm wrong. However, I don't think so.

"How long ago did you quit working at the hospital?" he fires off. The question catches me off guard. My eyebrows pull together as I try to figure out how to answer his question. Billy seems to know what's been going on in my life.

"Right after Charlie was injured," I answer, hoping the questions stay light. This is hard. I've tried to keep everything quiet to protect his memory. Billy waits patiently for me to continue. I don't refuse his request, even though I want to.

"I want everyone to remember him like he was before. I know I'm not being fair but there's nothing fair about this whole thing." Mentally I beg Billy to let it go as I feel a tear slip and wipe it away.

Billy reaches over, pulling me to him and hugs me tight.

"Bella, he is my best friend. I accept the fact that you're protecting him," he acknowledges. "But I would also be remiss if I didn't mention your father would hate that you've put your life on hold. Quitting school? You worked so hard for that opportunity. You loved what you were doing, and for what? Just so that you can take care of him? Watching life, using a camera, is not living, Bella, and Charlie would loathe that."

"How did you know?" I ask, looking Billy in the eye. He figured it out in less than a few hours. And I'm sure he doesn't need to ask me any questions.

"Bella…I'm a parent. I've known you since you were a baby. We parents are pretty smart people and you are like a daughter to me. Anyone with those qualifications that pays attention will know." I rest my head on Billy's shoulder and let him hold me. It has been a long time since I have felt connected to anyone and part of me doesn't want to let it go.

"What do I do, Billy? I don't know any other way to do this," I whisper and I know Billy hears me because he squeezes me a little tighter. Sometimes I feel like I might actually lose my mind if I think too much about Charlie and what he goes through every day.

"Now, if I had the answer to that...I would be a wise man, Bella. Only thing I can tell you is that as a parent, we want to be _a part _of our children's lives, not their lives. Life is meant to be shared, not watched," Billy reprimands giving me something to think about and I will- later. Billy just hugs me tighter.

Jacob, Seth, and Claire return then with lunch and we quietly enjoy the sandwiches and just watch people quietly.

I want to close my eyes but I noticed Caleb, Jasper's son, once again sitting with Granny Anne. She still looks tired but more peaceful now. The two take turns feeding the birds from the single bag of bread on her lap. I wonder where his parents are. Looking around, I see them tread from the gallery.

Alice and Jasper gather at the bench with Caleb and Granny Anne. Alice scoops Caleb into her arms, kissing his head, while Jasper offers his hand to Granny Anne. Alice sits with Caleb as Jasper walks Granny Anne to the gallery.

Granny Anne and Jasper slowly zigzag through the gallery spending time at each exhibit. Billy and I try to decipher what they might be thinking or feeling. To me, she looks both happy and sad. I watch them walk to Jessica when they finish viewing the art. It's the same routine Granny Anne does every week.

Under the tent, Jessica gives Granny Anne a hug and I wonder what they talk about. Jessica then goes back to her side of the desk taking notes.

Jessica hands Granny Anne and Jasper a mass of pictures. I watch as both sign papers and then return to the bench where Alice and Caleb still await. Alice and Caleb join them and they all head towards the main gate to leave the park.

I'm astonished that Jasper and Alice seem, to have spliced Granny Anne into their lives for a few moments. Not once has Jasper's attention faltered from taking in his immediate surroundings. He is still on guard or so it appears. I notice that Jasper is also keeping an eye on Granny Anne as they head out of view. I can recognize Jasper as a watcher, same as me.

"I don't know about you guys," Jacob breaks in, "but I'm ready to go home now."

"Actually, I think I need to head home too. I may be up on my feet acting like a teenager or something, but long rides still make the old man in me act up," Billy states. Deep down I'm sad to see him go.

I can see that Claire wants to stay but her family would be upset if she did. She hugs Seth goodbye and they hold each other for just a moment.

Jacob pretends to gag, ending the Claire/Seth moment. Seth helps her into the truck kissing her and promising he will be home tomorrow night. I use my cell phone and take a quick picture. I know I've been caught when I hear Billy's laugh, so I put my phone in my pocket before he can say seems we are parting company here.

Billy, Claire, and Jacob head back to La Push in Seth's truck while Seth has decided to stay the night. He wants to file his application for the fall semester at the University.

Once Seth and I are back at my apartment, I make the bed up fresh for him telling him this is where he will be sleeping. Besides that, I have to be up early for work in the morning.

I leave myself a note, reminding me to take the photo album I retrieved from Forks to Charlie in the morning before I relax for the evening. I'm kind of nervous to see how he will react.

For dinner, Seth and I decide to order a pizza. While we are eating, Seth tells me his real reason for being in Seattle. Yes, he is putting in an application for school but he is also looking for an engagement ring for Claire.

Seth shares with me how hard it's been lately because Claire doesn't understand how she affects him. He's been doing everything he can before moving their relationship to the next level. Seth doesn't want her to have any regrets about their relationship but Claire doesn't agree.

Seth wants to follow tribal tradition and has to have the ring before he can ask her father permission. I didn't even know he had to ask her father. Actually, I'm a little jealous of their relationship.

Shortly after dinner, Jacob calls to let Seth and I know that they made it home without incident.

Claire told him how much fun she had today and she enjoyed the park; not that she has seen a lot. She never expected something like an art show in a park. She thought it was a perfect day. Well, almost because she went back to La Push without Seth.

Billy wants me to know that I can call him anytime. He won't push but lets me know he is there for me if I need a stand in father. It's the best way he knows how to be a friend to Charlie.

I have Jacob tell Billy I love him and he is a wise man and how proud I am of him for his strength. Jacob just repeats the I love you part and goodnight. I thank him again for being my friend this weekend and taking care of me like he did.

Perhaps I will try to visit them more often; maybe not.

Seth goes to bed after the fifth time of making sure it's okay that he takes the bed. After I throw a hand-towel at him I tell him, if he doesn't get out of the living room I am going to hurt him. He laughs all the way to the bedroom.

I turn on my computer to check my email. Sunday night I always have an email from Jessica even if it's just to let me know everything went well.

Dear SIM,

Your pictures are beautiful, as always. Today the depth of them touched so many so deeply. I hardly know what to do with myself. I never expected today's theme (that was new) or the pictures that portrayed it. Though none more than Granny Anne.

I'm sad to report that Granny Anne's husband, John, passed away yesterday. She wanted to tell you that you captured almost every import moment of her life the last few years. She asks that you call her, at this number 555-1930. I hope that you do.

Today people stepped back and questioned themselves: "Out of everything in my life that is going on, what is most important?"

Today was one of your best showings. At least for me.

I guess it is true that love comes in many forms. That was the theme, right?

Anyway

Your Art Gallery Coordinator,

Jessica Stanley

I'm floored by Jessica's news. _Now I understand why Granny Anne looked so lost today_. I contemplate whether I should call her or not. I decide to sleep on it but not tonight. Would I be reaching out to her or would I be reaching out for me? Would it be okay to call and not speak? What does she want to tell me? She's never asked anything before. If I do call… how do I handle it?

Even in sleep, the questions roll around my brain, making it a restless sleep.

~~~~~*TTL*~~~~~

* * *

**Just decided to make the next chapter an outtake instead sooo, if you review this chapter I will send you a copy of the outtake. It's about Granny Ane and Bella's phone conversation.**

**Rec's. The Hard Way To Learn A Lesson » by Stephaniiie -AU/AH Bad boy Edward needs to be taught a lesson. So his teachers come up with a plan- 'marry' him to the best behaved girl in school! How will his ego survive spending 'eternity' with Bella Swan! Little OOC. NOW COMPLETE!**

**c&p /s/5161061/1/The_bHard_b_bWay_b_To_bLearn_b_bA_b_bLesson_b**

**Punk'd: Cullen Style » by SG51169 - Emmett loves playing pranks and his new target is his favorite human, Bella Swan. But when he goes too far an angry Edward and Alice decide that it's time to teach Emmett a lesson. Emmett is about to get Punk'd...Cullen style! c&p /s/5483673/1/bPunkd_b_Cullen_Style**

**Hmm..do you want a rec for a WIP. Let me see (I'm reading several right now) umm...**

**Mr. Hopeful » by openlystained. He was desperate, but believed he would be alone, forever. She was lost, but desperate to be a mother, any way she could. Everything changes. OCC at times, canon couples, lemons. c&p /s/6284251/1/Mr_Hopeful**

**To those that have continued to read "Through the Lenz", Thank you. Knowing that you are enjoying the story makes it easy to post as my edited chapters come as they come back from my wonderful Beta's.**

**To those that haven't reviewed the story – Please do so even if it is just a few words. I try to review the stories that I read (though not every chapter) because I know how reviews make my day and I hope it does the same for you.**


	12. 11: Witness

**A/N Okay, I'm nervous about this Chapter. Thank you Batgirl for all your encouragement on this one. I know it was a nightmare to beta. I'm extactic that you reacted the way you did about it and didn't flog me for it.**

* * *

Chapter 11: Witness

Tuesday morning I find Charlie more like himself. He greets me as I knock on his door to enter. I notice the photo album still seated on the nightstand.

"Morning, you," he says as he moves the razor across his jaw. I can see he has missed a few spots but not many.

"Good morning, Charlie. So what are we doing today?" I ask, and Charlie grins wickedly at me.

"Just getting ready for breakfast. You never know when you're going to meet someone," Charlie says, looking back at me in the mirror, his voice a little too jovial. Okay something is up. I can tell. I really hope he's not planning to chase the new nurse around again. She might just quit this time.

"Okay, Charlie, what's up?" I'm just going to get this over with. "What are you really getting at?"

"Oh… I guess it was just nice meeting your friend this weekend," he says, acting like nothing happened. "Did you have a good weekend?" He smirks as one side of his mustache lifts a little and his eye squints a little.

"Oh God, no! I am not having this conversation with you, Charlie, I'm not," I say with finality. I am so not having it. "And just so you know without a doubt, _he_ is a friend. He has been a friend for a long time. That's it." Charlie laughs a soft laugh. I'm not sure he believes me.

"Ah… well, he made quite an impression on the nurses around here, let me tell you." Oh God, not again. Please just let it drop, Charlie.

"That's enough. I'm going to go and check on everyone while you're shaving. And you missed a spot right here." I show him, pointing just below my jaw before I close the door behind me.

Even my own Father is conspiring against me and my non-existent love life.

That's how the next few days continue.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

When Thursday night finally arrives, I'm tired. All I really want to do is sleep for the next century. I don't feel like cooking, and I decide that I'm going to break down and eat at a little restaurant I use to go to a long time ago. It's on my way home.

It's a little family-owned, Italian restaurant, and the food is good. I'm led to the back of the room where the waitress hands me the menu and asks if I want something to drink. When she comes back with my Coke, she tells me what tonight's specials are.

I usually get the mushroom ravioli, but tonight I think I'm going to get the baked tortellini with chicken and garlic bread. When I take the time to look around, I recognize the family seated at a large table, in the center of the restaurant. Everyone is laughing and smiling, having a great time.

The seven adults, a toddler, and an infant, take center stage.

Esme sits to the right of someone I haven't seen before, and I wonder how he fits into the picture. He sits with his back to me, so I can't see his face. I can, however, see the edge of a bright colored tie poking out from underneath the collar of a light blue shirt. His blond hair is cut short and seems business like from the back.

Esme sits to his right with Alice and Jasper. To his left, Emmett partially blocks my view with Rosalie and an infant rounding out that side of the table. I_ The first gallery showing after the family showed up Jessica send me a second email telling me that Rosalie is an undercover police officer, so she won't be in any pictures now. I mentally lift my hat to her because she has a tough job. _Copper sits at the end of the table between the infant and Caleb. Everyone is dressed semi-casual. The women are wearing dresses and the men are in sports coats and jackets, though the coats and jackets are off while they have dinner.

"Excuse me," Copper interrupts. His voice is happy and expressive, manly but not deep, as it slides through the air. "I have something I want to say if you don't mind," he addresses the table. I'm looking directly at him when he stands up with a glass of wine or something in his hands. He glances around the room and, for one second, I swear he looks at me and winks. With a flush I even smile at him.

"Mom," he tilts his glass towards Esme, "Dad," his glass moves in the direction of the man I have yet to see. "Seeing as I am the last of your children, I would like to be the first to say congratulations on teaching us that thirty years is not very long. Happy Anniversary!" And for a few minutes the table gets louder with congratulations and cat calls.

"Guys, will you shut up for two more minutes. I'm not done yet, geez," Copper says, looking a little embarrassed. He runs his hand through his hair and waits until everyone has quieted back down before he continues.

As he starts to continue, he is hit by flying paper balls thrown at him from every direction. And again the table erupts in laughter. Copper is trying to protect his drink when Emmett stands up and addresses him.

"Get on with it, Edward, and stop being such a drama king already." And then he sits down and everyone is laughing again. It seems that this family likes to banter back and forth.

"Mom, Dad. Every year my brother, sister, and I always try to top each other in what we get for you for your anniversary. I came home a month ago to take a little break and to be here for this special event. This year I didn't get you a present." Everyone is looking at Edward, formally known as Copper, and I wonder what is on his mind. Somehow the name Edward fits him.

"Yes!" Emmett says as he does another fist pump. "I'm gonna win this year!" He sounds so competitive and I hide a laugh by taking another bite of my dinner. Edward holds his hand up to Emmett to get him to stop before he continues, I guess because he still hasn't sat back down. I'm finding this all entertaining and look forward to seeing how it unfolds as I eat my dinner.

"But," Edward interrupts. Everyone is quiet again. "What I do want to give you, is me, for the next two years." Heads turn and everyone looks confused. At least those faces I can see.

"Edward, I don't understand."A male voice speaks that I don't recognize. I assume it's the man with his back to me.

"Carlisle, will you hush and let your son finish? Now shush everyone, and let Edward finish," Esme breaks in. I watch her smack her husband Carlisle's arm next to her. Edward and everyone give a short laugh but nobody gets loud.

"I got this letter two months ago. It was a letter of," he drags out, holding some paper in his hand, "acceptance from the University of Washington, into their residency program." The table is dead silent. "I'm coming home m,Mom, Dad…hey, free rides to work with Dad and no more laundry. How can I beat that?"

I slap my hands to my ears as I hear a high pitched scream. Alice is out of her chair and has her arms wrapped around Edward, squeezing him tight. Carlisle and Esme are out of their seats. I can't see Edward anymore. All I see is hairm arms and bodies. You can't tell who is who.

I can feel the emotion running deep at their table. I look at my food and take another bite before I look back to the family. They appear to be such a close knit family. I almost feel guilty watching such a private family moment, but I can't pull my eyes away.

Now that I can see Carlisle clearly for the first time, Carlisle is tall and clean shaven. His face is chiseled and if these are his children he doesn't look his age, and neither does Esme. His eyes are a penetrating blue.

Carlisle escorts Esme to her seat and she has tears running down her face that she is wiping away trying not to be noticed. Once she is sitting down Carlisle kisses her on the top of her head before he turns and sits in his own.

The similarity and intensity of green and blue eyes battle in my mind even as I submit to Friday that comes none too soon. The shape is the same even though blue, has a few wrinkles at the edge. Green meets my brown, blue only a comparison to green. Today is longer than I want it to be but all too short at the same time.

I grab my check and my purse and head to the counter to pay for my dinner. I can still hear the playful banter and laughing of the family as I push through the door. Tonight is Carlisle and Esme's 30th wedding anniversary.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Friday, Charlie is in a good mood, and we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner together before I leave work. He seems sad when it's time for me to go.

There had been no comments about his daughter or how much he misses her. We had even taken some time out and looked at old pictures from the photo album I had brought on Monday.

I make my way to the park and unwind. I'm a little later than normal but not enough to make me go home. There is no waiting for people to show up tonight. In fact, it is almost as if everyone has other plans. I listen to music and take a deep breath and eat my granola bars placing the wrappers in my pocket. I exhale and try to let go of the week and leave it behind me. I try to take this moment and just be.

I sit after taking a few pictures but they're nothing special. I spend time observing with my eyes, instead of my camera. I watch as the sun begins to set over the trees, and the sky begins to turn a darker blue once it is past the yellows, oranges, and reds of a beautiful sunset. I search the darkening sky for the signs of the first stars to appear. I watch as the lamps and lights come to life, displaying the paths through the park.

It's a beautiful evening with only a few high clouds. The wind is a mild breeze, and the air smells of grass and trees. I consider calling it a night and heading home. I would if it wasn't for the family of nine that are still here at the park.

From time to time, I zoom in and observe them from the cover of the tree next to me and the darkening of night. I watch couple by couple, as they hug each other and head out on their own until only, Esme and her husband Carlisle, are left. Edward is the last to leave.

I look through the camera and watch as Carlisle gently caresses Esme's face and kisses her on the forehead.

_Click, click, click._

I watch as he takes her by the hand and leads her from the picnic table and across the grass to the walking path.

_Click, click, click. _

I greedily take pictures the whole time. These pictures are frosting on the cake of a beautiful night. These will make tonight memorable.

_Click, click, click._

I continue taking pictures of them as they pass a lamp post on the path. I'm so engrossed in the intimacy between them, it doesn't even register that they are not alone.

_Click, click, click._

I press the shutter faster and faster. I'm not sure it registers with me as Esme is pulled away from him, and Carlisle stumbles away. Esme is held against the chest of the strange man. The stranger's back is to me, so I can't see his or Esme's face, only Carlisle's. I see panic in his eyes and worry in his brow, that is quickly replaced with calm and intellect. He removes something from his sleeve and quickly grabs at something under his coat. Just like the movies, it's all in slow motion.

_Click, click, click. _

I can feel that something is wrong and my adrenaline starts pumping. My finger moves of its own accord. I'm not paying attention to the stranger. All I can see is Carlisle's face as something dark crosses it.

Carlisle is stepping back and his face is white except for the dark red spots that sprinkle his face like freckles. Carlisle hunches and tosses something to the ground. There is a flash of light, and I don't understand what it is. Carlisle jerks slightly forward towards the man and then his body falls back and he lands hard on the ground landing on his back.

_Click, click, click._

I see Esme's body slump to the ground at the stranger's feet. He steps over her grabbing something from the ground. He looks around and I see his face and his cold eyes searching around him, and then he takes off running down the path towards the parking lot.

I watch him with the camera and just before he is out of sight, he stops and looks around once more. I see a smile of satisfaction on his face as he looks back to where Carlisle and Esme lay.

_Click, click, click._

Then he strolls out of sight, as if he hasn't a care in the world.

It's not until he is out of sight that I even register any screaming or a loud bang that happened. I use my camera and look back to Esme and Carlisle. Carlisle is trying to move and Esme just lays there on the cold asphalt path. The park is deathly quiet.

_Click, click, click._

It feels like hours but it's only been seconds before I realize what has happened. In my head, I can still hear Esme's scream cut short and then the discharge of a gun.

As fast as I can I move from behind the camera, and I move forward, then run to Esme and Carlisle. I'm not thinking as my instincts take over and I react by doing what I was taught. It's what has become second nature for me.

I trip and fall as I'm heading down the small incline. I desperately try to reach them to help. I fall again as I slow down finally reaching Esme and crawl next to her to feel for a pulse in her neck. She has a pulse and there is blood all over her face and down the front of her shirt. Her pulse is strong and her breathing is good, but she is unconscious. I scramble to Carlisle frantically trying to assess his situation.

He is covered in blood but his eyes are open. All I can hear is gurgling and his whispered words.

"Esme, Esme, he says over and over as he reaches for her.

I throw back the front of his jacket exposing his shirt. I can't tell what color his shirt is because it's covered in blood and I waste no time trying to figure it out, as I rip his shirt open to expose his chest.

I can see a bullet hole in his chest on the left just below his pectoral minor muscles. The blood is bubbling from the wound. I look around to see what is available to me. I don't have much time. I have to get the bleeding to stop. I see a cell phone lying on the ground, and I grasp for it, pulling it closer to myself but right now that is not going to help.

I reach into my pocket and pull out the cellophane style wrappers from my granola bars from earlier and my sharpie pen I still have on me from work. I take off my hoodie and drop it next to me. I'm on auto-pilot now.

"Carlisle, can you hear me," I ask as I turn him over towards his right, looking at his back. The bullet wound is a through and through. I'm still looking around trying to find something but until I see it, I'm not sure what it is. As quickly as I can I remove his tie, laying it underneath him, before I push him to his back again. I take one of the foil wrappers and lay it next to the wound, holding it in place the best I can as I roll him to his back again. I place the second wrapper on the wound in front and secure them in place with his tie, hoping it will hold. What it's suppose to do its create suction, letting him breath.

When I finally look at Carlisle, he is facing me but his eye lids are starting to drop. I ask my question again but this time it's louder and with more force.

"Carlisle, can you hear me?" His eye lids lift and I see a slight nod of his head.

"What is your full name?" I'm wiping the blood off his chest as best I can.

"Cullen, Carlisle Cullen." It's a whisper but I get it. He's still here with me.

"Do you know what blood type you are Carlisle?" I have my pen, and I start writing his name on his chest. He says something but I don't quite catch it. I think it was O positive. Shit. I look him in the eye and he is staring at me.

"You said O positive, right? Blink if that's right." I grab the phone with my other hand and start to dial 911. I see Carlisle's eyes close for longer than makes me comfortable before he opens them again. I'm going to assume he said O positive and I write it on his chest.

"Good, Carlisle, just stay with me. I'm getting help." I keep writing things on his chest, when I notice that Carlisle is having a hard time breathing. I look at his chest measuring both sides up against each other with my eyes. It looks like the left side of his chest is bigger than his right. It's not much but it's not good either. Shit.

I'm scrambling around looking for something else, a knife or something to cut with. I'm checking pockets and I find Carlisle's I.D. badge. I find a small pocket knife on the ground next to a ring. I grab them both. I also find a small straw in Carlisle's pocket. God is watching out for both of us. I just know it.

"911, what is your emergency," I hear on the phone. I put it on speaker phone, laying it on the ground as I continue to look around.

"I have two victims. One appears unconscious with a head wound and the other has a gunshot wound to the chest..." I flip Carlisle's shirt back over looking for a regular pen, "just below the pectoral minor muscles. It's a through and throughwith a pneumothorax. We are at the Simmons Park at 42nd and Trigger." The names not lost on me. I look around quickly.

"We have plenty of room for a flight for life team approximately 100 yards from the victims. We also need an ambulance. The victims' names are Carlisle and Esme Cullen. Carlisle Cullen is O positive. Shit," I say as I notice his color is way off.

"I have you on speaker phone but I am unable to continue the conversation. I will speak when I can. Carlisle, this is going to hurt like a son of a bitch. I'm sorry." He's watching me. He closes his eyes and I see his jaw muscles tighten. He knows what I'm doing, and he's getting ready. He opens his eyes again.

I make a deep cut through the muscles next to the gunshot wound hoping that there is enough room for me to get the straw (and the straw is long enough) to reach where the air pocket is. Carlisle's body relaxes and I'm worried, but I keep working.

"You are using medical terminology so I assume you have medical training. I have medical personnel en route to your location. Do not disconnect the line until they reach you. Is the assailant still in the vicinity?"

"Yes, I have medical training. No, I do not believe the assailant is still around. I'm using a straw to try and release the pressure from around the lung. He needs to be taken to Harbor View Medical Center. They need to have an emergency medical team available stat. Can you notify them?"

"I'm relaying your information as we speak." I can hear the operator relaying the information I have given her but it's a blur of voices.

"Shit, um… we're about 20 maybe 30 yards, from, the North entrance to the park. Not the south end." I relax just a bit as I hear air escape from the straw. I'm trying to find something to hold it in place. I grab the hoodie off the ground and start to rip it apart using it as a pressure bandage over everything else, trying to keep everything that I've written on his chest visible. They are going to need that information.

"I understand. You should be able to hear the ambulance anytime now. Let me know when you do. I'm right here to help you the best way I can."

My hands are starting to shake as I wait. It's taking too damn long for them to get here. I'm looking for lights on the ground or in the sky. It's starting to get cold. I'm just wearing a large tank top now. I've done as much as I can. I want to check on Esme, but I haven't found anything to hold the straw in place.

I see red and blue flashing lights in the parking lot. The police are first on the scene with an ambulance right behind them. They're to me before I see the Flight for Life helicopter overhead.

"Tape! I need tape now," I yell as the police start to head into the park. I'm so glad we are under the lamp post and not in the now, completely darkened field. The police are on guard and approach cautioniously.

"Do you know where the assailant went to, Ma'am?" an officer asks.

"He's gone, there's no one here." The other officer is heading in my direction with a case. I hope it has medical supplies in it. He is still cautious but he is moving to me quickly.

"Tape! I need medical tape!" The officer drops the case to the ground next to him opening it quickly and rummaging through it. He quickly finds the medical tape and cuts a piece of it for me several inches long and hands it to me. With hands that I can barely control I place the tape across the straw to hold it in place.

The paramedics are being hailed to our location. Carlisle's color is improving so I know he's getting air.

My breathing is labored and my vision is blurry. The adrenaline is coursing through my veins. I don't move an inch away from Carlisle until the paramedics are here. I let them know that I'm a registered nurse with trauma experience. Then I to give them my assessment before they take over his care.

"Don't take off the bandages until he is in surgery," I explain, "I'm nine hundred and ninety nine percent his lung will collapse again!"

The older paramedic gives me a look of confusion and questioning before he says, "I understand." His voice is confused, but I hear recognition there too. Whatever he is thinking is lost on me. I relinquish Carlisle's care, as they move into action, and step back.

A police officer escorts me from the scene as the Flight for Life helicopter lands in the nearby field.

Someone covers me with a blanket and sets me in the back of a police cruiser. I hear the engine of the helicopter speed up. I know Carlisle is in there and will be at the hospital in minutes. I watch as paramedics load Esme into the back of an ambulance before it sets off to the hospital with lights flashing and sirens blaring.

I pray they're going to be alright.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it came out of no where and I hope that you didn't expect this chapter to be what it was but liked it just the same.**

**Flight for Life is a term used for emergency medical helicopters. Because I live so far from town, if there is an bad accident they are called out to our area and our communities have several landing pads used just for them and you can even get a ticket for parking in them.**

**Nine-hundred and ninety-nine percent is Bella's coined phrase from when she was in school. Her every action was called into question because of her age. Give me creative licensee with that one okay.**


	13. 12: Remembrance and Mourning

**A/N: Hello everyone. I hope that you all enjoyed the last chapter. It was a tough one to write, edit, and publish but it's one now. I hope I'm still alive to post this chapter. I hope everyone feels like they know about Bella at this point and were not thrown too far by the last chapter. I'm still reworking chapters and editing (or trying) more chapters. I know some of you want the chapters up faster than they are coming and I can only say that I'm the chink in the clog. I want to make sure that the chapters are the best they can be before publishing. Sometimes that takes time. Please remember we are working from rough drafts to finished product before posting.**

**If you are enjoying the story PLEASE feel free to pimp it out to your friends. Also please remember that we are authors and our only payment for the time we take to create stories that we all enjoy are REVIEWS. Nothing means more to me than your reviews.**

**I've had to back away from reading stories currently until I finish posting this story. If you want to send me a link of a story that you think is worth pimping, send me a pm or follow me, writtenbyabdex, on twitter.**

* * *

**Chapter 13: Remembrance and Mourning**

The lights from the police cars continue flashing red and blue. More and more people begin to show up on the scene and I'm just sitting here in the back of the police car, numb. I know what is going to come next. Questions. I'm not ready for the questions. I don't want to be involved more than I already am.

The only thing I can think about is Charlie. This feels so much like three years ago. I can't keep the images from invading my thoughts. They are strong and over-powering. I try harder to catch my breath, to stop crying; but it's useless. The flashing lights start giving me a headache.

_Three years ago, I was on duty in the emergency room at Harbor View Medical Center. It was about two o'clock in the morning, and I had been working about 8 hours already, when I was selected for an emergency medical team. We had a Flight for Life helicopter coming in from Eaton, a town not far from Forks. _

"_BS, you're up!" Dr. Pantra barked out. 'BS' has been my nickname since I started going by Bella instead of Isabella. I smiled because, finally, I was the first pick for the team._

_The patient suffered from a gunshot wound and was in respiratory distress. We received more information while standing on the helipad and I was selected to continue CPR compressions until we got him from the helipad to the emergency room. _

_I stopped thinking as my brain turned off and I went into auto pilot. Three people pulled the stretcher off the helicopter and, before they even had a chance to raise the gurney, I was already in position taking over the compressions as another team member bagged him. _

_We were almost at the emergency room and I was doing compressions when I looked at the patient. I froze during my actions and the doctor yelled for me to continue. I only had time to act, not react, to what was going on around me. _

_If something didn't happen quickly in the E.R. they were going to call time of death. The patient was a police officer that had been shot in the head. No one believed there was much hope. _

_Once through the emergency room doors, the doctors on duty were doing everything they could. One of the doctors was trying to talk to me saying, "We've done everything we can, BS. You can stop now." But I couldn't. _

_I couldn't tell them that the patient was my father, Charlie. I had to keep compressions going. I remember hearing, "Bella, we all know how you feel about police officers, but it's no use. It's over." They were trying to pull me off of Charlie. I couldn't let them do it. _

_Just as someone finally got a hold on me, the monitor picked up a beep. I kept going. I couldn't lose this battle, and they couldn't stop trying. "We've got him, Bella." I kept doing the only thing I knew how to do in that moment and when his heart beat picked up a regular beat, I was pulled from my spot and someone else took over. I left the room in a daze when I was told to take some time and get myself back together. _

_I sat in the locker room and cried for a long time. _

_When I finally got up, I pulled on my jacket and headed home. My shift wasn't over and I never went back except to see Charlie until he was transferred from the hospital three months later. _

_I didn't answer my phone for two weeks. No one knew who I was in the recovery room or ICU and they didn't question me once they saw my name badge. It was six months before I went and found the job at the rehab-living center where I now worked._

_I had to make a lot of decisions during those months and a lot were made for me._

_I walked away in the middle of medical school. I only had two years of medical school left and the internship would work in my favor when I finally made it to my residency. I gave up being a doctor that night in the hospital with Charlie. _

_My education, however, did qualify me to sit for my license as a registered nurse, so that's what I did. _

Tonight is the first time in almost three years that I've used my medical training to help someone. The fact that it still feels so natural has me freaked out. It shouldn't feel like this. I shouldn't feel this alive if that's what this is. I shouldn't feel this scared either. I just want to feel numb again.

There are too many lights and too much noise. I have to get away. Maybe it's shock. I'm not really sure what is going on or where I need to go. I just know I have to go somewhere.

I exit the car and no one even notices I'm gone until it's too late, so I pull the blanket around me tighter and start walking. I walk the long way around the park to where my things are. I sit in my chair and pack up my camera, but that is all I can do.

The night that Charlie was shot and tonight are running through my head so fast I can't make any sense of them. I can't get my thoughts focused on anything else. I'm not sure which way is up or down. My body is numb and I'm just going through the motions without a goal. I pull my knees tight to my chest, holding the blanket even tighter with my forehead resting on my knees. On one hand I'm numb and on the other I'm too emotional to fight the tears any longer.

I don't notice when the flashing lights and noise from the night end or when everyone leaves. I don't notice the hours pass. I don't notice as the sky begins to lighten, and the sun begins to rise.

I don't notice anything until loud voices pull me from my sleep. I'm on the ground with my camera bag under my head wrapped in the blanket. My body aches. The light hurts my eyes. I lift my head and try to remember where I am and what I'm doing.

I hear angry shouts and try to locate them. I lift my head from the ground and sit up. I'm still at the park.

I focus on the yelling and who it is when my heart breaks all over again. It's Edward and Emmett. What they are doing at the park is a mystery.

Edward seems really angry and considering what happened last night with his father, I can't say I blame him for being like that. Emmett is trying to calm him down. Emmett has a lot of patience for his brother but it's going to give if Edward doesn't stop trying to hit him or push him away.

I don't need to know any more because I already know what's going on. I've been where they are now. I was scared while Charlie was unconscious.

Watching them together makes last night more real to me. More than one person is affected by last night's events; the whole family is. With Charlie it was just me.

This sounds wrong even in my own head, but not even friends feel the same depth as a daughter, son, husband or wife.

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance are known as the stages of grief. My heart aches and I wonder if I even made a difference last night.

Edward is aggressive and I know it's because he is hurt, angry and scared as he struggles against Emmett who is hugging him tightly now even though Edward fights it. But I think he is mostly scared, I've been there myself.

What Edward may soon realize is that there are worse places to be than scared. When you are scared there is still hope even if it doesn't feel like it at the time Once you're past being scared you either find hope or loss. I pray he finds hope.

I watch from the distance as Edward struggles against Emmett's hold, hitting him and trying to pull away until he finally succumbs to his brother's hold. His screams fade as he starts to cry and then latches on to Emmett. I can't watch it anymore. I grab my things and leave. I've seen this type of reaction before at the hospital when someone is given bad news. I don't want to know.

I want to go home. The worst part is I want my dad. I want him to make it better like he did when I was a kid. I want Dad to hold me on his lap and tell me everything is going to be okay. I won't get that because Charlie doesn't remember.

The sun is fully up when I reach my apartment and the image I see in the bathroom mirror is unnerving. There is blood on my hands and face. It is in my hair from when I tried to push it out of the way. I've never been this messy or dirty but I've never helped someone outside of a clinical setting before.

I throw my clothes into the garbage after I turn on the hot water to my shower. I'm not even going to waste time trying to wash them.

Once I get myself cleaned up, I make myself comfortable sitting in the chair with a hot cup of tea. I stare at my camera bag while sipping my tea. I pull a fresh blanket across my lap and curl myself up in its warmth. I take another sip of tea. I try not to think or feel or move. I just want to remain numb.

I hear the world outside my window start to come to life. When I look out, I see people starting to go about their daily routine completely unaware of what happened last night. I watch the man from a few doors down start his daily jog and the woman across the street getting her kids into their van.

I return to my chair and turn on the TV. There is a part of me that is hoping for news about Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I saw the news trucks show up last night, but I'm still having trouble putting everything in order. Last night seemed much the same as the emergency room and different at the same time. I'm hoping that I'm wrong in the assumption I made while watching Edward and Emmett in the park because it doesn't leave me much to hang onto. I know there is still a possibility that Carlisle...

I don't want the knowledge of what happened last night in my head. I don't want to find out that it wasn't enough and it was my fault. But, now that I am in the safety of my apartment, I need to know because I was there. Even if it is just for my own sanity and it's not the answer I want.

When the news airs, it's the national news, then the weather, and finally the local news. They refer to last night as an incident of almost tragic proportions. It's reported as a robbery gone wrong. They believe there are witnesses and if anyone has any information to contact the Seattle Police Department.

In the background you can see the park. It's dark and the lights from the squad cars flicker and flash, giving it the eerie glow it deserves. You see police standing by their cruisers and walking around looking at notes. No one even pays attention to the small figure sitting in one of the vehicles.

Esme Cullen is reported as having been treated for minor injuries, and then released. Dr. Carlisle Cullen, nationally known neurosurgeon is listed in critical condition. They do not mention that Dr. Cullen and Esme Cullen have children and that two nights ago they celebrated their 30th Wedding Anniversary.

My phone rings and, before I pick it up, I look to see who is calling. I don't answer. It's Jacob. He must have seen the news. I let it go to voice mail.

A few minutes later it rings again and this time it's Billy. This time I pick up because I don't need Jacob and Seth breaking down my front door. If I don't answer, I know that is exactly what will happen.

"Hi, Billy, I take it you saw the news this morning," I say in a flat tone. I really do not want to talk to anyone right now accept my dad. Billy tells me that he has and was hoping I was okay.

I assure him that I am, at least as well as can be expected, but I leave out that part. I don't confirm that I was there last night, and he tells me that Carlisle Cullen was the doctor who performed his surgery.

I tell him that if I hear anything I will let him know. He will probably know more about it before me.

He asks me if I want him to tell Jacob that I'm okay and that we talked. I tell him that's fine, and that I'm fine; even if I'm not right now, I will be.

Before Billy hangs up, he tells me that he is proud of me, and I did the right thing. I wonder if he is fishing, or if he really knows. I say goodbye and it's quiet on the phone until Billy hangs up a few seconds later.

Billy wasn't just telling me he was proud of me. He was telling me that my dad would be proud of me. Billy is a smart man and knows how to read between the lines. Neither one of us said it, but I know he knows I was there.

When I finish my tea, I place the cup in the sink.

It's no use and I can't avoid it any longer so I free my camera from the bag. It's time for me to stop watching the world around me and do something - anything.

In all, there's almost two hundred pictures from last night. Looking at them is like a repeat of last night, played in a slow and tortured motion. I know what I need to do to make things right.

I burn every single sickening picture onto a CD. It takes a couple of them because I do not alter the size or anything else about the pictures as I copy them.

I shoot off an email to Jessica and to let her know that, because of recent events at the park, I don't expect her to be at the park Sunday afternoon. I'm not sure I can, or want to, continue with the art gallery. I tell her that she will receive a check as per our usually arrangement for the next month and that if anything changes I will contact her.

~~~~*TTL*~~~~~

I enter the police station with the envelope under my arm. I ask the desk sergeant who I should talk to about violent crimes and he directs me to Detective McCarty while pointing down the hall. Following the desk sergeant's directions I move and watch people move around me. No one really even notices I'm there. I step through the door that the desk sergeant indicated and see five different desks, each having its own name plate.

I place the envelope on the desk of Detective McCarty making sure that the "Attention: Violent Crimes Unit" I had writing on it is face up.

I bump into someone as I leave out the door and apologize. I'm half way down the hall when I hear a booming voice yell, "Stop that person!"

I pretend not to hear. I don't stop walking or look back, but pick up my pace until I'm through the door and to my car.

I notice Detective McCarty has the envelope in his hand as he stands at the top of the steps searching the parking lot. I make the connection that Detective McCarty is Emmett from the park. He looks different dressed in dark slacks and a red tie. He's all business right now and looks like a different person from the mischievous, fun-loving man from the park wearing a rock band t-shirt.

I never want to see those pictures again.

* * *

**Leave a little love. Review before you leave...only 14 reviews and were to chapter 12.**

**REC'S, Hmmm. Garsh there are so many. I hope you enjoy these.**

**WIP: Strawberry Wine by kas90, /s/6607018/1/Strawberry_Wine , When Bella goes back to NC to help her sick uncle, she runs into the boy who she fell in love with when she was 17. But what exactly happened that summer? Will they ever get their HEA? What stays with us more-our 1st love or 1st heartbreak?**

**COMPLETE: My Escort by Brattyvamp, /s/5394790/1/, When Edward's partial scholarship gets taken away, he reluctantly takes the advice of his roommate and gets a job at a high-class escort agency. Relax... it's a legit company. He's got nothing to lose. Or does he? All-human, OOC.**


	14. 14: What Now

A/N: Thank you Storypainter and Batgirl8968 for all the advice and work you put into making the last chapter what it was. Revisions, reediting and all. Thank you for showing the love to Batgirl8968, Kezz 1, Deonne, Random Nonsense Unlimited, Annagarder11, readingmama, cjmobxnc, shan1999, Santa Muerte, thisis70, and Midnitekiss13, for adding this story to alerts, favorites, or posting reviews.

I also posted a chapter that didn't make the final cut as an outtake. Are you curious if Bella ever called Granny Anne, and if she did, what happen? Find out by reading "Through the Lenz outtakes".

Chapter 14: What Now

Saturday Evening

I'm still emotional from the events of the last twenty four hours. I can still see last night's events playing out in my head and I don't even have to close my eyes. I make myself think past it but just barely succeed.

After leaving the police station, I don't go to the park as usual but drive around aimlessly until I find myself in a vaguely familiar part of town.

I park my car on the street and look at the front of an older two story building. The engine isn't running and I don't have the radio on. But I can't seem to figure out how to open the car door, walk across the street, and enter the building.

I don't know how long I've sat here, whether it's seconds, minutes, or hours. I can't figure out how to get my hands to let go of the steering wheel. I watch as people float in and out through the entrance. I can't move past just sitting here in the car though I desperately want to.

I want to go inside, walk down the hall and knock on his door. I don't even know if he will be home or not, or if he even cares anymore. I just want to talk to someone, even if I can't trust a single word that comes out of his mouth.

I have my hands on the handle of the door and I'm about to pull it when I catch him exiting the building and I freeze - he's not alone.

Tears fill my eyes and begin to spill because she could have been me. It could be me standing next to him instead of Lauren. He could be holding our first born child and I could be pushing the stroller with our second.

Is her last name Mallory or is it Newton now?

I watch as they head in my direction. I let go of the door handle as he leans in to kiss her on the cheek. I inhale deeply to control my emotions when I spot the wedding band on her finger.

I'm frozen and can only look when his eyes meet mine. He stands up straight, tilting his head to the side as he stares back at me. I guard myself from the look of concern on his face as he observes me start the car, put it into gear and pull away from the curb finally breaking eye contact.

Mike Newton has moved on and I'm still stuck in limbo. Life is passing me by and I'm letting it without a fight.

I didn't come here trying to find my way back. I just want to talk to someone that was there in the beginning. It hurts to think my life hasn't changed since he walked out. I haven't gone out, partied, or had a boyfriend in three years. My life just is and, right now, it sucks.

I have to get my head on straight; I work Monday morning. I arrive home just in time to watch the evening news.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Apparently the robbery turned shooting of Dr. Carlisle Cullen, is still all the news. The scene on the news isn't much different from this morning.

There on the steps, in front of the police station, stands an officer with short dark curly hair, wide shoulders, a barrel chest, and arms bigger than my thighs.

Late in the morning I recognized Emmett and now my heart breaks for him. I was the one that set the brutal pictures on his desk, ran out the door and never really looked back. I hadn't considered the consequences of my actions. I know he had to have seen the pictures.

He doesn't deserve to see those or have those pictures in his head this morning. I didn't know he was the detective in charge. My actions now seem cruel and callous. I should have paid more attention but, no, I didn't think it through.

Detective Emmett McCarty is one of Seattle's finest. His eyes aren't red from crying but you can watch his eyes them fill with tears and hear his voice crack as he speaks to the news reporters and the cameras.

He pleads with the people of Seattle to get involved. He informs viewers to refer all information to Detective Tyler Crowley because his involvement is a conflict of interest. He is taking time to concentrate on his family and the hell of his adopted Father, Carlisle Cullen.

They say the assailant is armed and dangerous. They ask people to call a hotline with any information they might have about his current or recent location.

They show a picture of a man with blond hair and blue eyes that wears a menacing smile, his hair pulled into a ponytail. They call him James Kevin Turner and say he is dangerous. I already know that.

James Kevin Turner is also wanted for questioning in connection with open cases in another state.

I turn off the TV because I can't watch anymore. I make my dinner, take a shower, and finally pull the covers over my head trying to hide when I go to bed.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Sunday Morning

I open my eyes with a start before my alarm clock even sounds.

I didn't sleep well last night. I dreamed of piercing blue eyes, an evil smile, and a bone chilling laugh. I heard the shot over and over. I watched blood move across a pale surface. The scene changes from three people standing in a light surrounded by blackness to red and blue flashing lights.

I take another shower to wash away the sweat but I can't get rid of the blood. I know what is happening to me because this isn't the first time I have woken up, panicked, like this. Last time, it was Charlie's blood I couldn't get to wash away and then it was only on my hands. I scrub until my skin almost resembles the blood I think I see there.

Monday can't come soon enough.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Monday Morning

Once at work, I check on my patients and Charlie. His mood is somber and detached. He refuses to acknowledge I am even in the room. He just sits in his chair next to the window, staring at something that I can't see.

I can tell something is up as I watch him chew on his mustache but I don't know what it is. Charlie is lost in his own head and that isn't always a good thing.

"Good morning, Charlie," I call to him, trying to pull him from his thoughts. He gives no indication that he has heard me at first. I wait patiently.

"Did you sleep well last night?" I ask. Nothing.

"Charlie, do you have any plans for today?" I ask a different question but the silence from Charlie continues.

Not until I see the tear escape from Charlie's eye do I become concerned. Charlie doesn't cry, ever. I crouch in front of him.

"Charlie, are you alright?" I question, taking in his appearance, and wait. When he finally speaks it's not to me. He mumbles to himself.

"She's not coming back. I failed to protect her when she needed me. She's gone and she's not coming back."

My attempts to get Charlie to continue fail until I am forced to move on with my day hoping that he will come around. It is a long, quiet day and Charlie continues to mourn over something, maybe my mother. That's all I can call it. I haven't seen my dad cry since her death and it unnerves me.

After lunch, I knock on my boss Jane's door and entered after hearing her "Yes," response. I sit in the chair she indicates and before I can start she asks, "What can I do for you, Ms. Swan?"

I place my face in my hands and rub, trying to clear my thoughts before answering.

"Jane, I know how hard it is right now and I'm sorry I have to ask", I swallow hard, "but I need to take some personal time off."

Her eyes are as hard as her smile as she takes in my presence. I take in another deep breath.

"Ms. Swan, you know you have to request time off at least thirty days in advance. We already have this Month's schedule finished." Her voice was flat, emotionless, and uncaring; her usual.

"I realize that. I do. I can't explain it right now. It's a personal matter and I need some time to get my head on straight. I'm only asking for a week. Two tops."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Swan, you will have to do better than that for me if you expect me to take the time out of my schedule and try and find replacements for your shifts."

"I can't explain it right now. I've never asked for time off since I started here. I have always covered for people that had emergencies or when they didn't show up for shifts. I'm begging you…I need some time."

"Ms. Swan, I can see you're upset about something but, really, there is nothing I can do. I need thirty days' notice."

"What if I can find people to cover my shifts for me? Will that be acceptable?" I know this is going to be hard, if not impossible. It took her time to answer as her eyes bore into mine.

"Fine. But if they do not show up for the shifts you better be on your way. No shift of yours will go uncovered. Do you understand me, Ms. Swan? The only reason I'm doing this is because, in fact, you have not once asked for time off. I'll give you one week but absolutely no more… And, Ms. Swan, if you do not show back up for that first shift there will be consequences. Do you understand?" I looked at her in shock, but nod. I would be back in a week.

Gratefully, Charlie's demeanor has changed since I arrived this morning. Whatever his funk is it has lifted some this morning, though not completely.

"Good Morning, Charlie," I greet, trying to sound like my normal self and, if I have to admit it to myself, I don't quite pull it off. Charlie just quirks his eyebrow as he looks out the window.

"You okay?" I ask as I look around the room. Charlie was distant this morning so I don't want to push him now.

"The real question is, are you okay?" Charlie's voice catches me off guard but I'm glad to hear it.

"Ya. I'm fine," I say as I sit on the edge of his bed.

"Liar," Charlie says with a smirk still not turning his head. At least now he is communicating but he always knows when something is going on. I guess that's why he always made a great chief of police.

"I just want to let you know that I'm taking a couple of days off," I speak, watching for his reaction.

He pulls his table to him and starts, what looks like, reading an imaginary book. His face is turned to the table and small movements of his hand make it appear as if he is flipping pages. The mind is a powerful thing.

"My daughter came by last night." My eyes flash to him but he doesn't look up.

"She never came in but she was here. I saw her car in the parking lot for a long time." He flipped another page. I have nothing to say.

Yes, I sat in the parking lot for two hours last night. But Charlie doesn't know who I am so I didn't come in. I even saw him standing at his window. It was too dark to see what he was looking at.

"I think she is in trouble…I think you are in trouble, too." Charlie finally pauses, putting the non-existent book away, and looks me in the eye.

"What makes you say that, Charlie." I gulp. I pull my eyebrows together in contemplation. How does he always know? I'm not in trouble but things are not right either.

Charlie stands and maneuvers past his dresser. In a burst of anger he sweeps the items laying there across the room. My hands tighten on the mattress and my body reacts with a slight jump.

"You are so stubborn. You're just like her, you know. I know she is in trouble because she sat in the parking lot for two hours…two hours!" To prove his point he waves two fingers at me and raises his voice. "And she never left her car." I look at my knees, guilty, then back to him. Charlie continues.

"I use to be something. I used to protect people. I used to have a brain that worked right. I may not have things in my head straight but it's all in there somewhere." He stabs his index finger against his temple. It upsets me to watch.

Charlie's mood swings are all over the place today. Even though I am use to them, they are giving me whiplash. So it doesn't surprise me when his next statement is light hearted. It is as if he doesn't remember he just lashed out. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

"If it's some boy…get rid of his lazy ass." Here is the Charlie I know. I have to hold back the laugh. "If it's an accident….fix it or blow it up…. If someone is hurt…help them… if it scares you…lift up your chin and look it in the eye…If you owe someone money…pay them back or run…If it's a crime… report it even …If you're in danger …let someone know and never walk alone." It's harder to hold back the laugh as he goes on his tirade. I know what he's going to say next. I said it quietly as he voices it, "and if you have done all of this and it threatens you…shoot it."

Now I am laughing even if it's to myself and I look at Charlie as he turns around. No more anger written in the lines of his face or flashing in his eyes.

"So you're taking a vacation. Good for you. You going anywhere special? On a cruise, have a hot date with some cute guy?" Charlie actually wiggles his eyebrows as he says that one. "Gonna get you a little...Never mind, I don't want to know."

"Charlie, you old horn dog." I can't believe my dad just asked that. We both laugh.

"Gonna get all dressed up, put on some heels and some makeup."

"Okay, Charlie, I've wasted enough of your time. I'll see you soon." Now he wants to act like an old pervert.

"My friend has a son. Pretty good looking from what I hear." Oh God.

"Charlie. We are not having this conversation! I'm leaving now." I don't know what is worse, having horrible pictures running through my head, his mood swings or listening to my dad trying to get me laid. I laugh on the way out the door.

For the next five days every time I start seeing the pictures or anything else I let my dad's parting words run through my head. It always lightens my mood and makes me laugh. I also spend the next five days on the practice range shooting the nine millimeter my dad bought me for my fourteenth birthday.

******REC'S – I'm really wishing I hadn't started adding those because now I have to read them before I rec them and there are so many. Thank you jean for adding to my reading list by the minute, you're great.**

******WIP this chapter will be -**

******Completed story this chapter will be -**

******When you share the love by reviewing.**


	15. 15: Refreshed

**A/N I wanted to post this yesterday for my birthday but things didn't work out, so, today i'm pretending that it's my Birthday****and posting. I hope you enjoy the chapter because it gave me fits. **

**Sorry Random if this isn't the answer to your review, but I think You like the next chapter better. Hehehe. No I'm not giving anything away. It would ruin all the fun. ****Bat and story (Beta's) you guys are great and I just want to thank you for putting up with my moodward arse. lol. I think I have resolved the computer issue. If it doesn't work a sledge hammer will. **

**Thank you aiden for pre-reading and just as a reminder, I'm still waiting for a couple of chapters from you lol.**

**I hope everyone recognizes Bella's determination. It may not seem like people go through so much in real life but they do, and we all, at times, can feel like punching bags. We all come to places where we have to make decisions to do whats right over what feels good.**

**And yes, I added rec's at the end. Oh garsh I forgot to mention that "Through the Lenz" now has a Banner and the link to it can be found on my profile. You can also join me on twitter. writtenbyabdex. and unfortunately I am not posting teasers. I'm having a hard enough time editing chapters and trying to update. **

**Enough of my babble. Read, enjoy, and share the love by reviewing and pimping out this story.**

Chapter 15: Refreshed

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

After work Friday night, I pack some clothes, throw them in the car and leave Seattle. If I hurry, I can make the last ferry trip of the night and won't have to wait till morning to arrive in Forks and start my vacation.

It took about two hours to cover my shifts. Once Angela put the word out on her Facebook or Twitter thing, nurses started calling me because I had helped them out, and they were glad to finally get the chance to return the favor.

Dusk was a long time ago and it's completely dark outside as I pull into the driveway. I wish I had remembered that the last time I was here, I only shut off the meter. Only in a small town like Forks could you switch off the breaker and not have it turn into an crisis.

Ever since I came home a few days after Charlie was shot, I've always felt it, felt like someone was watching me. It's almost like someone is in the room with me. I still feel creeped out but I can't explain why, so I ignore it.

I trip and fumble as I search for the meter behind the house. When I finally find it, I lift the lever, jumping when the back porch light flickers and finally comes to life.

Standing at the front door, I reminisce about the times Charlie stood there, holding it open, waiting for me to come in. It takes a few minutes but I finally walk up the three steps across the porch to the door.

I unlock the door and set my bags under the coat rack next to the door. I touch the hook where Charlie used to hang his pistol and holster when he came home from work.

I rub my fingers together because they are covered with dust from the hook before locking the door behind me just to be safe.

I climb the stairs to my old bedroom and realize I have to wait and make the bed before I can get some sleep. For the next hour and a half I forget about sleep and clean, dust, and vacuum around the house quickly moving from room to room leaving a trail of supplies behind me.

I hear the truck before the headlights come into view outside. I'm still making my bed when the truck stops and the engine turns off.

I run down the stairs like a fifteen year old. I feel so much lighter now. Lighter than I have in almost three years. Things aren't the same, but once again Forks almost feels like home. I open the door for Jacob when he makes it to the porch. He quickly catches onto my excitement.

"You sure you don't want to stay out at the reservation with us?" Jacob asks. I know he just wants me closer to him and Billy. I turn to Jacob and shake my head no as he puts the vacuum cleaner back in the closet for me.

Jacob was definitely excited when he got my call. I had just crossed the river on the last ferry of the night when I called him to let him know I was coming to Forks.

"No, not this trip, but I do plan to be spending some quality time out there with my bike." I have to laugh because I'm excited to spend some time just having fun and Jacob is excited that I'm going to be around for a few days. I don't know who is acting more like a fifteen year old now, Jacob or me.

"Well, come over to the house for dinner tomorrow. I promise the food will be edible."

"So that means take out, right? You and Billy are not cooking," I state, heading for the hall. I laugh when I feel a cushion hit me from behind.

"Nah. Come on, Bells. Eating at my Dad's house will almost be like old times."

"Sure, sure, whatever."

Jacob and I visit awhile longer before I have to put an end to our reunion. If he doesn't go home soon he's going to wind up spending the night.

"Now get out of here so I can get some sleep. I'll see you and Billy tomorrow."

The next night after dinner, Billy, Jacob, Seth, Claire, a girl named Leah, a woman named Martha, and myself sit outside on Billy's deck having some wine after dinner. Well the woman are; the men have their beer.

I watch as Jacob reaches over to Leah and pinches her butt. He is being playful but I'm not sure she is.

Leah jumps and turns to Jacob with fire in her eyes. For a minute, I think things are going to get ugly when she snatches a hand towel from the table, swirling it in her hands, snapping it and hitting Jacob in the leg.

"Jacob Black! You behave or I swear," Leah leaves the threat unfinished.

Jacob jumps, placing his hand where the towel made contact but never looks at Leah. I watch as a small smirk graces his mouth just as he takes a long swig of his beer.

Something is up. No one ever gets away with something like that. Jacob's motto: It's all about the payback. With wide eyes I have to ask.

"Jacob Black, do you have a girlfriend?" I know that little smile of his. Jacob Black has a secret. Oh my God, Jacob Black is blushing.

Leah looks at me and smiles and we both started laughing.

"Jacob has a girlfriend." I chant while I wiggle back and forth in my seat. Jacob just sits there and grins.

"Wow." That's all I can say. From the look in his eyes, this one is serious. I look into my glass watching the wine swirl around. Everyone is moving on, even Billy.

Billy's dating a woman from the Macaw reservation named Martha. That started about six months ago.

Seth finally talked to Claire's father and now they are getting married according to tribal tradition. I finally get to see the ring that Seth got for Claire in Seattle.

I put my glass on the table and stand. It's getting late.

"I think it's time I say good night, everyone." I tell Billy and Martha to take care of each other. I congratulate Claire and Seth on their engagement and I tell Jacob how happy I am for him and Leah. I think Jacob knows how uncomfortable I feel because he looks at me sadly but doesn't say anything. Sometimes it's hard to be the seventh wheel.

When I get home I make sure all the windows and doors are locked before I head upstairs to sleep.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Jacob and I spend a few hours Sunday riding our bikes on old trails between La Push and Forks. I haven't ridden like this since I left after high school. At first I'm kind of nervous that I won't remember how to ride.

We go down to the old gravel pit and set up some targets. Jacob has his hunting rifle and I have that nine milimeter pistol. It takes me a few rounds to get the feel of it again but, by the end of the day, Jacob swears he will never go target practicing with me again. We laugh all the way to Charlie's front door.

After Jacob leaves, I make sure to lock the door.

Monday, I talk Jacob into going cliff diving and I'm glad when he gives in. The water is rougher than I thought and I have a hard time getting back to shore, but Jacob is there and helps me make it past the riptide. We have fun and it's always been a rule growing up that you never swim alone.

Tuesday, I spend alone. Jacob has to work and I need some time to think. I shop at Thrift Mart for groceries and decide to get a membership to the Movie Gallery. After renting a movie, I go back home and find Billy sitting on the porch.

Billy and I spend a couple of hours talking. He wants to make sure I am okay, really okay. I tell him everything but I don't go into a lot of detail. He tells me how proud he is that I turned those photos over to the authorities.

It's nice to have someone hold me and make sure I'm okay. I share with Billy about the conversation I had with Charlie just before I left. We laugh until we can't breathe.

Billy talks to me about Jacob and how he wondered if Jacob and I would ever get together, but he realized as we got older that we weren't right for each other.

We talk about Jacob and me as kids-Jacob chasing me around with frogs, laughing every time I screamed and how I almost broke Jacob's nose when he pulled my hair.

I let Billy know how much I miss him and thank him for coming by when he gets ready to leave.

Wednesday, I think maybe I should put the house up for rent. I don't want to sell it and it is getting rough around the edges by standing empty. I talk to a local management company about trying it for a six month period to see what they have to say.

Thursday, Jacob comes by and we spend a few hours together before he takes Leah to Port Angeles on a date.

I tell Jacob that I've been thinking about his suggestion to rent the house out and my meeting with the property management company but I'm still undecided about renting the house out to strangers.

Jacob asks if I would consider renting the house to him and Leah until they can find a place of their own. Jacob is going to take the leap and ask Leah to marry him. Jacob knows it's quick but says 'she's the one'. Living with Billy isn't an option.

I have to think about it. But, if I rent to anyone, Jacob might be the best choice. After all, Jacob still comes and mows the lawn ever week. I know he would take care of the place even if he does just rent.

Friday, I decide to pack up and head back to Seattle. I still have my own stuff to take care of and I'm feeling much better about things, especially after talking with Billy.

Saturday, I wake up in my own bed in my little apartment and decide I don't want to just exist, I want to live. I'm not going to be held back from life anymore.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Saturday afternoon, the sun is out and it's a beautiful day so, instead of staying home doing laundry, I go to the park. With my head down I make my way to the picnic tables.

I no longer see yellow police tape marking the crime scene. I can't see where all the blood was on the ground except in my head, and that's not a place I'm going to stay.

I look around and find myself almost wishing I had my camera. I watch the kids and their families play on the playground and chase each other across the sand below it.

I watch as a few joggers work their way around the park.

I see a sign where the Cullen family sat last Friday and wonder how much their life has changed in a week as I walk over to investigate.

It's a simple sign constructed of poster board and a wooden steak. The words "Thank You Sim" are written in the middle surrounded by eight sets of hand prints.

I wonder what the sign means. I wonder who would thank me and what were they are thanking me for.

Crouching down, I place my hand on top of each set of hands wondering who they belong to. I'm so absorbed in the sign it startles me when someone speaks.

"You're not supposed to touch that. My daddy said so."

I jump with a start, turning my head to the voice and clutch at my chest.

I'm met with a pair of piercing blue eyes and dark curly hair framing a young face.

"I'm sorry. I was just curious. I've never seen a sign like this before," I say, pointing at the sign, calming down.

"Caleb, come here," a low voice says harshly. I turn to look at the man and realize that he is watching me as if I'm some threat. Jasper.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude," I say as I stand and step away from the sign. I decide that I'm just going to leave and start to walk away.

"Jasper, stop being rude. I'm sure she didn't mean anything." I recognize that honey sweet voice anywhere. It shouldn't matter that I do, but it does. I keep walking anyway. I turn and see Edward heading in my direction before continuing on my chosen path.

"Miss, excuse me, miss." I jump again when a hand touches my shoulder and I quickly pull away from the shock of it. My brown eyes are held by his green ones as I look at who touched me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, and Jasper doesn't mean anything," Edward says, pointing, to Jasper who's watching us. I can't find my voice to respond so I blink until I do.

"It's okay. I understand." I turn to leave but I am stopped again.

"Do you have a problem keeping your hands to yourself?" I snap.

"Umm…" I lift my chin and square my shoulders. I look Edward in the eye. "I'm sorry...can I explain?" His voice is low but sweet and sincere. He looks at his hand and removes it quickly, dropping it to his side.

"You don't have to explain anything to me," I say, leaving a confused Edward behind as I go to the far end of the picnic area and sit down.

The sun feels good with my eyes closed as I think about the sign. I wish I had brought a blanket. I wish I brought my camera because life is going to go on. One robbery, two different shootings, and a lost memory are not enough to stop time.

I feel more than see the rays of the sunlight on my face. The light I see behind my eyelids fades. I wait, thinking it's a cloud until I hear his voice.

"First, you have a hands problem and now you have a thing with scaring people," I say as I open my eyes. His figure is a dark silhouette against the sun.

I know I'm being mean and Edward has done nothing to deserve my attitude, but I don't know how to act around him or his family. I've always been socially retard. And I don't want to add to the drama that he must be going through.

Edward sits down across the table from me with a lopsided grin gracing his face but sadness in his eyes. He moves his eyes to his hands that are placed in front of him.

"I don't mean to sound rude and neither does Jasper. I just wanted to explain why he seemed so, um…"

"Protective?" I finish for him. I watch as he wrings his hands together nervously.

"Yes, protective will cover it," he quietly agrees. I watch as he starts picking at the cuffs of his sleeves.

"Did you hear…about…what happened here last Friday night?" He looks at me and then looks back down at his hands.

"Yes," I acknowledge. I don't elaborate. Edward doesn't need to know that I was here. I don't want to lie but I also don't want to be involved any further. I look at my hands not offering an opinion. I wait for Edward to continue.

"That was my father…the man that got shot..." his voice cracks as he explains.

"I'm sorry," I offer sincerely. _I'm more sorry than you know_, I think to myself. I look around, anywhere but at him.

"Jasper and I tried to get my parents to leave with the rest of us but…but..." I think I hear him say it is his fault but I'm not sure. Edward has to take a few seconds to compose himself before he continues.

"My father said he wanted to spend some quiet time with his beautiful wife."

I am trying to keep the pictures from flashing in my head.

"It's okay. You don't-" I start but Edward cuts me off.

"I told Jasper they would be okay, because I didn't want to listen to him talk about making out in the park or what ever with my mom. Everyone thought it was funny and we all-" he breaks off.

This is what I get for always wanting to know the full story. I can't help myself and I reach across the table and hold of his hand. He doesn't respond at first and I don't expect him to, but then he squeezes my hand tight.

What I want to do is hug him and stroke his hair and tell him everything is going to be fine. But I can't.

"It's not your fault," I whisper. I don't know if I want him to hear or not. I need to keep my mouth shut. He shakes his head before he goes on.

"Someone showed up at the police station with pictures of what happened. And we thought it was someone around here that is known for taking pictures but nobody knows who that is. So…" He points at the sign and I look along with him.

"The sign is from us to whoever was here at the park that night that saved him. Whoever was involved stayed around long enough for people to show up but was gone by the time the chaos had ended." He straightens his back and pulls away his hand.

"How is your father doing? Is he okay?" Why can't I keep my mouth shut? But isn't this something anyone would ask after hearing a story like that? Edward meets my eyes. I can't look away because it might give away the fact that I know more than I should.

"By some miracle he's going to be just fine. The doctors said he was lucky someone was there. He would never have made it to the hospital if that person didn't know what they were doing. We're hoping he might come home sometime next week."

"Does he remember anything?" God, Bella, shut up already. "You know, something that can help the police?" Edward is watching the play ground.

"No, he doesn't. He says everything was shadows and blurry. Everything sounded like music and whispers…His only concern was Mom. Once he realized she was going to be okay, he recognized whoever was helping them knew what they were doing, and he was able to trust them. And Dr. Carlisle Cullen doesn't trust many people."

"How are you doing with everything?" I put my hand on my forehead. Why can't I just shut up? Edward starts to chuckle.

"Better," he says cryptically.

Probably better than having a meltdown in public and taking it out on your brother, I guess.

"Are you sure? That's a lot to go through."

Why is he laughing? This really isn't funny. I think I'm going to be sick.

"Nine hundred and ninety nine percent sure." Every word is enunciated. I just look at him. Hey, that's my line. Now I remember, I wrote that on Carlisle's chest after he told me his blood type. An old habit from when I worked in the emergency room.

"The person who saved my father," he is shaking his head again, "wrote that on his chest in black sharpie. My dad won't let the nurses wash his chest unless they promise not to remove it….A nurse tried to use hand sanitizer to take it off and he told her to get out of his room." Now he laughs harder. I don't quite understand but his laugh is contagious. It's kind of funny, and I try to hold back my own laugh.

_If only you knew how not funny this really is, Edward, _I think to myself.

"I'm not sure what it is but 'nine hundred and ninety nine percent' means something around the hospital. I heard a few doctors and some of the older nurses talking about it. Someone said the doctor that used that saying disappeared a few years ago. It has made my father very popular around there and it's driving him crazy because no one can tell him who it is."

I'm horrified but I can't rein in my laughing. It's not funny. It is a dead giveaway. If anyone remembers, it's going to come back to me. How could I be so stupid? Of course they would remember that.

"So, please forgive Jasper. He's just on edge. I promise it's really not personal. It just kind of freaks Jasper out now…well…God this is going to sound weird. But Jasper thinks someone here at the park is watching us. He started to relax last weekend when he talked to a woman that's been coming to the park for ages but after Carlisle…I hope you can understand. Jasper just needs time to relax. Jasper's always been… cautious…but since Caleb was born he's even worse."

"I picked this for you." I turn my head, taking a breath. The voice is sweet and innocent. His presence startles me and his big blue eyes are looking at me.

"Caleb, you little sneak." Edward scoops him up. Jasper's watching. It's more than watching. His stare is analyzing, penetrating, calculating, and it makes me nervous. I take the flower from Caleb. "Where did you come from, you little flirt?" Edward asks him.

"Thank you," I say as I accept the flower. God he scared me.

"Daddy say's it's time to go, Uncle Eward," Caleb addresses Edward. Edward stands up holding Caleb to his side.

"Okay, little man…Bye, um," Edward says not knowing my name so the sentence hangs.

"Bella," I answer as I look at the little wild flower Caleb handed me.

"Bella... maybe we will see you around." I watch Edward walk towards Jasper who is still watching me. So is Caleb.

Caleb has his head on Edward's shoulder and his arms wrapped around his neck.

I have to smile and give a small wave when Caleb blows me a kiss. Yup, a little ladies man, that's what he is. I wonder what he will look like in ten or fifteen years.

It's getting late and the sun is dipping further down in the sky line. No one's paying attention so I grab the sign and walk away.

It's been nine days when I return to work and things start to get back to normal.

When I don't show up with a photo album the first day back at work as usual, Charlie gives me a hard time. He's in a good mood and asks if I found a man or if I just had a one night stand. I turn beet red and leave him his food thinking about Edward.

Angela keeps hounding me for details. She says I haven't looked this happy since…well since she met me. I ask her why everyone thinks that I need a man to make me happy and laugh.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

**WIP:** The Roommate by MandyLeigh87,I needed a roommate. What I got was one heck of a problem. AH BxE Rated

Copy and Paste this address behind , /s/6945446/1/

**COMPLETE:** Through the flames by SparklingTwilight,One fateful night, 29y/o Edward must make the decision that haunts every firefighter's worst nightmares. In choosing between his life and that of another, life altering repercussions arise. Rated M. Contains graphic descriptions of fire. HF Warning.

Copy and Paste this address behind , /s/5883476/1/


	16. 16: Uncomfortable

**A/N Well here is 16. hope you like it Random. I know everyone wants to get to ExB, sorry this chapter aint it.**

**Aiden, Thank you for pre-reading. **

**Storypainter and Batgirl, you 2 (yes i typed the number lol. oh ya and if memory serves me right (not) it's the number 10). Wow talk about shitting punctuation. lol. oh well. 999% sure {shakes head}.**

* * *

Chapter 16: Uncomfortable

It's a good day back at work and it passes quickly, too quickly. The evening shift has taken over and I am standing at the time clock, ready to punch out for the day, when I hear Jane call my name.

"Ms. Swan, will you step in my office before you leave?" she asks. My nerves cringe at the sweetness in her voice.

_What does she want now? No good deed goes unpunished,_ I think to myself as I step through her door, waiting for the other shoe to drop. She let me go for a week, and now I have to live up to a deal I made with the devil: Jane, herself.

"Please close the door, Ms. Swan," Jane orders, looking up from her desk at me. Once the door is closed, Jane begins her practiced speech.

"We have a new admit this evening, so, until further notice, you are assigned to the skilled care unit during your shift."

"Jane-" I start before being cut off. She doesn't even give me the courtesy of looking at me as she speaks.

"This is not a discussion. I am notifying you of your new responsibilities. The patient will be your priority while on the floor. Your knowledge of current treatments and procedures are more up to date than the charge nurse I have on the floor. I will use your talents as I see fit. There's going to be a lot going on so report to the nurses' station at six in the morning. Be ready to get to work immediately. Good night."

I'm dismissed immediately. I don't know whether to be appalled, angry, or take it as a compliment. Jane doesn't give me any details about the new patient and, based on her demeanor I doubt Jane will answer any questions . Jane's declaration means that, until further notice, I won't be around Charlie.

I wasn't hired to work skilled care and I don't want to work there. I want to work long term care where Charlie is.

I head to the Java Joint after leaving work, intent on using my laptop to research information on new procedures for wound care, mobilization, physical therapy or anything that might give me an edge for whatever comes my way tomorrow.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Because I'm nervous and scared, I really don't want to be here, so when I enter the patient's room, I don't look at the medical record. Instantly, realizing that this is a mistake. It's none other than Dr. Carlisle Cullen propped up in the bed. His eyes are closed and he looks younger up close.

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen," I start, hoping I sound more confident than I actually feel. His presence only takes a second to bring that night back into focus full force. I almost have to step out of the room to recollect myself, but I push through.

"Doctor. I told you to call me Doctor!" he says indignantly. They always say doctors make the worst patients.

"Do you call your patients doctor, rabbi, or professor?" I ask wanting to sound light and teasing but it comes out more of a snap.

"No," he replies, sounding properly chastised for trying to put me in my place as only a nurse.

I don't need to open his file to know what his injuries are but I take a minute to compose myself, and browse through them as an excuse to pull myself together and put on a professional mask.

"Do you prefer Mr. Cullen, Carlisle, or Jerk?" I try joking, but I don't think it comes out that way. Carlisle opens his eyes and, without a word, analyzes me.

If I look away, he'll be more likely to notice I'm afraid. And I don't want to show how weak I am or how strong my internal battle to run from the room is.

"_This will not get the best of me,"_ I repeat silently to myself, not backing down from the man lying in the bed. When he doesn't reply, I continue.

"Okay, Mr. Cullen. You are here for rehabilitation to regain your strength before you go home. You know that it is going to take a few months to get your strength back." With a nod of his head I'm acknowledged.

"So, let's check out those bandages and get them changed for the morning. How does that sound?" The wounds are healing well, I notice as I inspect them and it makes me feel good knowing that they won't leave horrible scars. I worried that because I hadn't used sterile items that something bad might have happened due too what I had on hand. I also see my markings on his chest that I wrote there over a week ago and smile. It seems that he really didn't let the nurses clean them up.

"I see you are taking antibiotics. Is that because you have an infection or is it preventative?" I hope it's preventative.

"Infection. It didn't get out of hand but my white blood cell count was elevated. It seems getting shot and an impromptu surgery in the park isn't good for you."

As he is speaking, I finish applying medicine to his wounds and sterile bandages—sterile, unlike last time . I'm glad I have what I need this time around.

"Seems like you might need something to clean up the…um…ink marks off your chest," I say already knowing how he feels. I can still read the numbers and percentage sign written on his chest.

"No. It's fine! It will wear off in time." I grab my hand sanitizer and a gauze pad.

"It will only take a second to get it off," I add, hoping I can dispose of the evidence written clearly on his chest.

He looks me straight in the eyes before whispering, "I don't want to forget."

I don't understand his thinking but I let it go. His apprehension to having the ink removed is apparent.

"Okay, Mr. Cullen." I throw the gauze in the garbage and gather my equipment. "How is your pain level right now on a scale of one to ten?"

"Nothing that a couple of Tylenol will not take care of," he answers but I can see it's going to take more than just Tylenol to ease the pain.

"I'll let the meds nurse know you need something for pain, and _it_ will be stronger than Tylenol," I state, emphasizing the word it.

During the day, I check in on Mr. Cullen several times. The pain medication he was prescribed at the hospital has him anywhere from loopy to irritating.

After breakfast, which is left untouched, Esme Cullen arrives with food in hand. She even brings a container of muffins to the nurses' station for the staff. I want to eat one because they smell delicious but refrain in case they're a bribe.

Mr. Cullen, now officially named, doesn't use his call button to summon staff for assistance and when I check on him, I rein in my sudden frustration. There standing at the side of the bed is Mr. Cullen with Esme perched under his right arm. Mr. Cullen looks irritated while Esme looks relieved I'm here.

"Excuse me. What are you doing?" I ask, wondering why Mr. Cullen is out of bed.

"I have to use the facilities," Mr. Cullen answers my question.

"Then you should have called," I reprimand

"My wife can help me to the bathroom," he says motioning for her to continue.

I stand in the way before they can take more than a few steps, and I hold onto Mr. Cullen when I see his unstable movements.

"Have you ever heard of a urinal?" I ask as I move him back to the bed.

"Sit." It's an order not a request. "With the medication you're taking for pain, you shouldn't be out of bed without proper assistance," I explain.

"I'm not using one of those," He battles back. "I can use the facilities." I accept his demand but lay down the law before I get someone to assist me.

"Mrs. Cullen, I have to ask you to refrain from helping your husband move about while he is medicated and under the care of this facility, even if it is to the bathroom."

"I understand," she replies, relief painting her face. Does she really not want to help her husband to the bathroom or is it more than that.

"My wife can help me-" he starts before Esme cuts him off.

"Carlisle Cullen," Esme warns, and even I'm smart enough not to argue with her tone. Once Mr. Cullen is toileted by facility staff and put back to bed I leave them to continue to visit in peace.

Esme reports to the nurses' station before she leaves a short time later. I try to apologize for sounding short with her but she won't hear it.

"Thank you for setting some ground rules for him and me. Do not let that man push you around. If he gets out of line again threaten him with a phone call to me. He knows the consequences." Who can argue with that considering the seriousness of her tone? I wonder what the threat really is.

"I know he's supposed to be a bad patient but he's going to behave. Honestly, he will get more rest here than he would if he went home. And please try to limit the time my children are here. They are driving him nuts," she explains.

I have to laugh because this conversation now proves who is in charge of this family.

Watching Dr. Carlisle Cullen analyze me, makes me believe he is what I call a watcher. Why does this trait seem to runs in his family?

During his five days with us I learn a lot about Mr. /Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He will personally drag me through the ringer. Not because he thinks he is special per se, but he is stubborn and irritating. He will play the 'I'm a Doctor' card if he thinks he can get away with it. You have to read between the lines to find the real person behind the masks.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

I'm still having trouble sleeping. My dreams are plagued with what ifs, and I can't rid my mind of the sinister smile on James Turner as he left the park. Something just isn't right about how he looked back at Mr. Cullen and Esme but I can't put my finger on it. My mind tries to put together the puzzle but I'm sure I don't have all the pieces.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Wednesday morning I arrive earlier than normal so that I can check on Charlie. Now that I'm on the skilled side of the facility, my usual days with Charlie are haphazard at best. I'm only able to see him first thing in the morning and maybe once, in the afternoon if I'm lucky.

"Morning, Ang. Do you know where Charlie is? He's not in his room." My brows are creased with tension. Maybe something happened last night and no one called me. It isn't like Charlie not to be in his room, and he isn't in the hall either.

"What! He's not in his room?" Angela jumps up from her desk, almost panicked but, before she can round the desk, Joanne from the skilled side walks up to us.

"It's okay, Angela. Bella," she addressed us both. Joanne looks tired. Night shift can be rough. It's always quiet and the lights are turned down low. There's not a lot of noise to keep you moving and it can easily sap your energy.

"Morning, Joanne." She's moving but it's slow.

"Morning, Bella. Your...Charlie is in Mr. Cullen's room." Joanne informs me.

Joanne's a heavy set woman, a little taller than me, but nobody has a bigger heart than her. She's been a registered nurse for almost forty years and thirty of those years have been spent right here at the rehab center. She knows this place like nobody else. What she says around here carries a lot of weight. I spent many nights with her when I first came here. She taught me a lot in those first few months. Working in a rehab facility is a lot different than working in the emergency room in a trauma center hospital.

I don't understand why people don't like her. Maybe it's because she takes control of the floor and rules it with an iron fist. She doesn't have time for people who won't or can't pay attention because being here is about the patient, not them.

"Are you kidding me? Seriously! He's actually in someone's room." That's not like Charlie at all.

Charlie walks down the middle of the hall because open doors freak him out. Charlie has never been in someone else's room since day one, not even to say hi. He only talks to other people in the dining hall. During meal times he's usually in his room. Well, unless he's trying to escape the facility.

"Bella...I know it's weird. But it is the truth. He's been there most of the night." Joanne rests her arms on the desk, leaning over slightly. Her eyes are cautious when she looks at me. "You're working skilled side this week, right?"

"Yes, Jane ordered it. I didn't even get a say in it." I roll my eyes. I never work skilled and I have my reasons. It reminds me of the emergency room. It reminds me of the night that Charlie was brought in on the 'flight for life ' chopper.

"Good." I look at Joanne shocked.

She knows I don't like that side. She had to walk me through a few panic attacks in the beginning. I'm thankful she never reported my panic attacks to administration and never told a soul about my last night in the emergency room. She pieced it all together and has never said a word.

As soon as we're out of earshot, she turns to me. "I think Jane made a good decision. I need to talk to you, Bella." Joanne turns and heads back to the skilled side of the facility and I follow without question, still shocked.

"Bella...I'm...Oh, hell, I've never been one for tact so I'm just going to spit it out. I don't know what is going on right now but I will figure it out eventually."

"I don't understand, Joanne," I reply, confused as well.

"There is something really weird going on with Mr. Cullen, your father, and you." What in the hell is she talking about? My expression must show my confusion because Joanne continues the conversation.

"One... I've never seen Charlie so protective over anyone other than you." Joanne doesn't look at me until we reach the desk. Unfortunately, I hear every word she says.

"Two, you look like shit and you have for the last two weeks." I rest my head in my hands.

"Three, Mr. Cullen had 999%, written on his chest." Now she is looking at me. "And he won't let anyone wash it off. I don't know what the connection is but I'm going to figure it out...I don't know what demon is chasing you but you're going to have to face it before you can move on. You don't belong here and you never did. You belong back at that hospital. No, I take that back. You belong back in school and you need to finish your residency."

My head snaps up so fast I hear the bones pop in my neck. Joanne eyes me for a long time before she continued. Shit. She knew.

"You're not a registered nurse or at least you shouldn't be, child. You are so much more than that." She points at herself before continuing. "more than this."

"There is nothing wrong with being a nurse," I say indignant, but it doesn't convince her.

"Nope, there's not. I never said there was. Unless you're more." She cuts me off before I can refute her statements. "Now, onto more pleasant things."

Joanne and I discuss each patient in detail and she explains to me what transpired over the duration of her shift, what her thoughts are on each patient and. By the time we are done, I have fifteen minutes left before I start my shift.

It's still early for most of the people on the skilled unit, so I knock very lightly on the door. I don't hear a response and open the door quietly, wishing that the hall lights were off but they have already been turned on for the day.

I can just make out the lines of Charlie sitting in the chair. Well, he actually isn't sitting, more like leaning and sound asleep. It startles me when I hear a shushing sound from the bed. It's moments like these that I wish I had my camera.

"Mr. Cullen, I'm so sorry. I'll get Charlie out of here for you." I lightly place my hand on his shoulder and, before I can shake him, I'm interrupted.

"It's my fault. I hope that it's okay." Even though Mr. Cullen is soft spoken, there is no problem hearing what he says.

"I'm sorry if he was bothering you, Mr. Cullen. Sometimes Charlie just can't sleep."

"What's his diagnosis? Is he an Alzheimer's patient?" Just like I figured, Mr. Cullen is watching me.

"Now, Dr. Cullen, you know I can't discuss that with you." I let it hang in the air and he lets out a low laugh. He knows he's busted.

"I'm sorry. I'll behave, Nurse Bella."

"Charlie, it's time to wake up and go back to your own room now," I say softly, shaking Charlie awake.

I should have been paying attention to him instead of snickering with Dr. Cullen. Right now that is who he is.

I don't realize my mistake until it's too late. I'm already on the floor.

Charlie reacts poorly when he's woken up and I can only imagine what is going through his mind at the time. Charlie is standing with his back against the wall, and the chair is flipped over. Dr. Cullen is trying to get out of bed to help.

I quickly pick myself up off the floor. "I'm fine."

I might have a bruise but I'm fine. I should know better. I calm Charlie down and get him back to reality. I have to keep Dr. Cullen from hurting himself. I push Dr. Cullen back before he can get out of bed.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." I look at each of them in turn. "Charlie, it's okay. You're safe. You're not hurt. Everyone and everything is fine. You just need to come with me back to your room now. Okay, Charlie?" Once Charlie becomes coherent, I escort him back to his room. By the time we get to the hallway, he doesn't even remember what happened.

"I'm really tired, you. I think I want to take an extra nap today." He does look tired and as soon as we get to his room that's exactly what he does. Charlie curls up on his bed and is asleep before I can cover him with a blanket.

I rub my head as I walk back to the skilled side ready for work. I wonder what was going through Charlie's mind when he woke up and if I'll have a bruise.

* * *

Rec's hmm. forgot to look around.

WIP; Try reading "Firefly in Summer" by primarycolors. .net/u/1400881/ Edward finds himself back in the little beach town of his childhood when he inherits the local bar from his uncle. The elusive, pretty girl next door has killer legs, a sketchbook and secrets that are slowly eating her alive.

Completed Fic: hmm again... "Pistols and Pedicoats" by saltire884. In a drunken gamble by her father, Bella finds her future wagered to town loner, Edward Cullen. But with stakes this high, how much will Bella lose, or will chance be on her side?

net/s/6294495/1/Pistols_and_Petticoats


	17. 17:Sleepless

_Previously;__I should have been paying attention to him instead of snickering with Dr. Cullen. Right now that is who he is._ _He's being nosy. He was not being the patient named Mr. Cullen and he knew it. _

_I don't realize my mistake until it's too late. I'm already on the floor. _

_Charlie reacts poorly when he wakes up and I can only imagine what is going through his mind. He's standing with his back against the wall, the chair is flipped over and Dr. Cullen is trying to get out of bed to help. I'm sitting on my ass next to the wall. My arm hurts as does the back of my head._

_I quickly pick myself up off the floor. "I'm fine."_

* * *

Chapter 17: Sleepless

I check in at the desk and wish Joanne a good night before heading out to start my rounds. Charlie is back in his room sleeping and the clock on my free time has run out. Joanne winks at me and squeezes my shoulder before leaving.

If this morning is any indication of how the rest of my day is going to go, the outcome isn't looking too promising. My head still hurts as well as my arm. I rub it slightly as I walk down the hall. And, seeing as Mr. Cullen is already awake, I start my day with him.

I knock and wait for acknowledgment. When I hear him answer, I enter.

"Let's try this again, Mr. Cullen," I say, closing the door behind me. He is sitting up on the edge of his bed, his bare legs hanging to the floor slightly covered with his smock.

His blue eyes are piercing when I look at him. The way he looks at me is unsettling; he sees me, really sees me. Even though I don't like it, I don't show him how uncomfortable it makes me feel. His ability to see past the mask seems to be a family trait because his stare reminds me of Jasper's.

"Nope!" he says. I don't know where this conversation is going because I'm baffled by his opening statement.

"Nope?" I question, confused.

"Nope. It's not Mr. Cullen. It's Dr. Cullen. Sit." His voice is authoritative and demanding. I smother a snort.

"Mr. Cullen, do we have to have this conversation again? You are here to rehabilitate. You are not the doctor right now nor are you my doctor. Besides, I'm fine." I walk closer, standing in front of him, while flipping his chart open.

"I said sit." His chart is pulled from my hands, and he is standing before I can gather my thoughts to argue. Looking up, I notice he's taller up close than I thought. His hand is on my shoulder pushing me down into the chair next to his bed.

Um... demanding much.

"Dr. Cullen," I protest. He's looking at my arm and I wince when he turns it to get a better look. He slides his fingers up and down the bone. _Shit, that hurts_. Then he is looking at the back of my head.

"Ouch." I pull away from him. "Dr. Cullen, I'm fine." I stand back up. Dr. Cullen moves and sits back down on the bed.

"Do you have any superglue? Band aids don't work real well in the hairline," he says. As his statement settles into my brain, I touch the back of my head. When I look at my hand, I see blood, though it's not much it still means I have an open sore. _Shit_. Even if it's just a cut, I need to take care of it for my benefit and the benefit of my patients.

"You get me some superglue, and I'll act like Mr. Cullen again."

"Fine," I say, surrendering. I can't go around bleeding during work, so I relent to his demand to be Dr. Cullen. I leave the room and quickly return after getting superglue out of my purse and some things to clean the wound. Dr. Cullen wipes the cut clean, uses some antiseptic and applies some superglue. It stings a little bit but not much and only lasts a few seconds. I know what he's doing because I've done it many times myself.

"And I would get that arm x-rayed if I were you," he says pointing to my arm. "You might have a stress fracture."

"I'm fine and you're not me," I respond moodily. Yes, I'm going to have a bruise but my arm is fine. "I've had worse. Trust me." I stand up and grab the chart off the bed, returning to nursing mode.

"You know, nurses make the worst patients," Mr. Cullen says.

I let out a low chuckle. "Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about doctors," I say and my mood lightens considerably.

With the light banter, I think, "_He's not so bad. At least he gets my sence of humor._" The fact is, Mr. Cullen is closer to the truth than he knows. I am the world's worst patient. Ask the poor doctor my dad took me to growing up.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~~

Thursday starts much like Wednesday did. Charlie is on guard duty in Mr. Cullen's room. I relieve Joanne from the night shift.

Charlie is already awake and it's easy enough to get him to go back to his own room. He looks tired, so he must have stayed up all night. I wonder why he's picked Mr. Cullen to become attached too. I put that question on the back burner for now as I walk him back to his room for what appears to be a well deserved rest.

Angela is working night shift on the long term wing of the facility. She shrugs her shoulders when I ask about Charlie's new attachment to Mr. Cullen and then she is gone until her next shift.

Joanne noticed that Mr. Cullen hasn't been sleeping during the night, but slept for a few hours last night while Charlie was in his room. So that's where I start.

"How did you sleep last night, Mr. Cullen?" I ask after returning to his room finding him is awake.

"Fine." Mr. Cullen sounds lighthearted and very awake. If I didn't know better, I'd be inclined to think he's telling the truth.

"And they accuse me of being a terrible liar," I say while rolling my eyes. He looks at me but doesn't say anything. I can see the light purple shadows under his eyes, the pallor of his skin, and the slump of his shoulders. They're all signs of how tired he really is.

I stare him down, knowing full well he's lying. Mr. Cullen finally drops his eyes to the floor. He knows he's not fooling me. He's busted.

"How long has it been since you've had a good night's sleep, Mr. Cullen?" I ask. I know how it feels not to be able to sleep. I know how it can weigh on your mind and emotions. He doesn't answer, so I try again.

"One, two days. A week?" I prompt, waiting for his answer.

"Since…since the shooting." It comes out in a rush.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Mr. Cullen has physical therapy in the morning and while he is gone I make quiet arrangements with a friend of mine to talk with Mr. Cullen. Ben is part of a support team that helps victims of violent crimes. He was there for me when I finally decided to seek out some help. He helped me, so maybe he can help Dr. Cullen, but it will have to be his decision.

In the afternoon, I make myself scarce when his family comes to visit. Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett show up bearing more tempting treats. Emmett stops at the nurses' station to let us know he brought food for his dad- The real stuff, not hospital food. I can't disagree with his assumption about the food here and look the other way. Emmett eyes me the whole time he's at the counter. It's Subway sandwich and potato salad (the homemade kind). I let it pass even though I shouldn't.

At two in the afternoon, I walk into Mr. Cullen's room. Everyone is laughing, including Mr. Cullen. I hate to do it because he looks so happy but Esme asked me to limit the time his kids were here. I let Esme stay a little longer before I make her leave too. I don't think she's happy with me at the moment but I can't worry myself about it.

Ben will be here before dinner, and I don't want to alert his family to the fact that I asked someone to come and talk to him. Due to Mr. Cullens', "I'm a doctor" attitude I haven't told him about Ben either. Sometimes shock therapy works better in the long run.

Shortly after Esme leaves, I think better of my decision, and I take a minute to let him know about Ben. When I enter his room I see he is taking advantage of the quiet. I watch as his eyes dart around behind his lids. I take notice of how his body shakes and sweat beads up on his forehead. I watch as he clutches his blankets and as his body jerks until his eyes snap open. His breathing is heavy and labored. I leave the room without a word. I don't have to imagine what his nightmares are about. I already know.

When Ben arrives, I speak to him briefly, though I can't tell him much. An hour later Ben informs me he will be back tomorrow and gives me a grin along with a nod of his head. Considering the amount of time Ben was here, I hope Mr. Cullen talked to him.

Edward and Alice show up at dinner time. Alice comes to the nurses' station holding a bag in the air.

"You know how hospital food tastes," she says scrunching her nose. I eye the bag, not bothering to look inside before letting her pass. It really doesn't matter what he eats, as long as he eats. They leave about fifteen minutes later.

I check on Mr. Cullen before the end of my shift.

"I didn't ask you to do that. If I needed someone to talk to I would have asked," he voices angrily.

"It is within my _scope of practice_ to do that without being asked," I state. I'm not trying to be mean. I am trying to establish boundaries. Mr. Cullen is laying on his side looking out the window acting every part of the sullen child.

"Next time, talk to me before you interfere," he says as he rolls over to look at me. Now I'm angry, and I forget to filter what comes out of my mouth. I know better than to react to a grumpy patient and I know what it's like to feel out of control but at this point I don't care.

"You're a big boy and you know how this works. So suck it up and put on your big boy boxers," I say as I pull a pair of his underwear from his closet, tossing them on the bed.

"How are you feeling right now, Mr. Cullen?" The fight in my voice can still be heard as I speak.

"Tired." I hear the defeat in his voice and that's not what I want for him. I know how lost someone can get after something so traumatic.

"Well then...let's make this quick." I pull his curtain around to give us privacy while I check the bandages on his chest. Mr. Cullen lies on his back pulling his smock around to expose his chest. His blankets covered him from the waist down.

"They look good, Mr. Cullen. How do you feel about not having bandages on tonight? I can have the nurse look at them before you go to sleep tonight."

"How can I get this ink off my chest?" I look at Mr. Cullen but he doesn't look at me.

"Why now? Are you sure?" I have to make sure because he's been so adamant about just letting it fade.

I pull a small bottle of hand sanitizer out of my pocket and a few tissues from a box sitting on the nightstand and hand them to Mr. Cullen. I never say a word. Mr. Cullen takes the sanitizer and uses it to rub the ink off his chest. I would have done it for anyone else, but I refuse to be the one to erase it off Mr. Cullen.

"You know what my sons did today?" I shake my head. "They went and got this tattooed on their chests." My eyes grow wide. "I never liked tattoos but I think what they did...I liked how they were done. You can't really tell that they're there. Instead of black ink they used white."

"You do know that romantics are a dying breed, right?" We both laugh. "Now why don't you try to get some rest and I'll see you in the morning."

On my way out the door, I'm not sure I hear him or if it is wishful thinking, but I think I hear him say thank you as the door closes behind me.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Friday is a good day and a bad day all at once. Again this morning, Charlie is awake on guard duty when I come in. Joanne just grins at me and points down the hall. When I enter the room, Mr. Cullen is sound asleep. Charlie shushes me with his finger against his lip.

"I'll go when he wakes up," Charlie whispers. I look over the sleeping form of Mr. Cullen. He appears relaxed. His breathing is shallow. His eyes aren't running around in his sockets.

"Fifteen more minutes, Charlie. You're not supposed to be over on this side of the building." And just like that, my dad just waves me off while leaning back in his seat.

"Joanne, what do I do? You know I can't be mean to my dad." Okay, someone had spiked the water or something because Joanne just laughs at me, laughs.

"What?" I ask, frustrated with her laugh.

"Bella, you and I both know that it goes against company policy, but you know what, if admin doesn't find out about it. I don't care. Mr. Cullen was so restless last night. He kept trying to walk the halls. He yelled at me because I wouldn't give him what he wants. He even tried to pull rank on me. He was trying to ambulate at night time. He didn't want anyone seeing him so... not himself. I...me...I even considered knocking him out with a frying pan from the kitchen. Then boom... Charlie shows up and they start playing cards. I let them play for awhile and when I went to tell Charlie it was time to go back to his room, they both told me to go back to my cubicle and read a medical journal or something." These are the highlights of her night.

It really isn't funny, but I have to laugh. A doctor and a mentally challenged ex-cop ganging up on Joanne of all people. Joanne laughs too. I don't think either one of us knows what's going on in Charlie's head. This isn't his usual behavior. Again I wonder, why Mr. Cullen? It's frustrating to know that I'll probobly, never get an answer to the question.

"But they ended u[ playing cards until about midnight and Mr. Cullen has been asleep almost since then. Charlie went to leave a few times but, every time he didm Mr. Cullen would wake up so I just told Charlie he could stay. I didn't need the rest of the patients waking up because of the noise."

"Nightmares?" I ask though I already know the answer. We aren't laughing anymore.

"I think so. Maybe we need to see if he wants to talk to someone or something."

"I already did, Joanne." She just nodded.

"Night, ladies." Charlie strolls by and tips his invisible hat to us. It makes me smile. I don't have to chase him out of the room after all. I listen to him whistle as he walks down the hall.

"You okay, Bella?" Joanne asks.

"Ya, I'm used to it." It took me awhile but I've gotten use to the fact that Charlie doesn't remember I'm his daughter. Sometimes it makes things a little easier here.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

After Joanne leaves, I make my morning rounds, leaving Mr. Cullen for last. I figure the more rest he can get the better. He's already awake when I enter his room.

"Good Morning Mr. Cullen... I see you got some sleep last night."

"Some," he says smiling but it's a smile I don't trust because I know he's up to something. "I want to see Mr. Swan's files."

"Dr. Cullen, you know I can't do that. We talked about this already. You have to have his guardian's permission."

"Get it."

"Why don't we look at your wounds and pretend this conversation never took place?"

"Let me look at his file and then we can pretend this conversation never took place."

"No."

"No?"

"No. Now let me look at your chest so I can see how it went with no bandages on last night."

"No."

"No? What are we, in preschool?"

"Do you really know who I am? Do you know what kind of doctor I am, nurse."

"No, and right now it's none of my business. Right now you are not a doctor. You are my patient and you are being very stubborn and very irritating."

"My family would agree with you. When do I get to see the file?"

"If and when you do, it will not be while you are my patient. It will be on his advocates' terms and not yours. Now how are we going to handle this, Mr. Cullen? Your way…or mine?" Now I'm getting irritated. I am not going to back down and it takes a long stare down to convince him of that.

He sits back further on the bed and pulls his shirt up for my inspection. His wounds are doing fine. They're healing up very nicely in fact.

"I don't believe you're even going to have much of a scar when it's all said and done, Mr. Cullen. I'll give my report to your doctor and see what he says about you going home. How does that sound?"

"Fine. You're getting on my nerves anyway. And so is that night shift nurse."

"Ya, I heard about that. What's wrong, Mr. Cullen: you don't like nurses telling you what to do?"

"You're stubborn, you know that, right?" We both laugh. After living with Charlie, Mr. Cullen's a piece of cake. I know why Joanne is frustrated with Mr. Cullen. Thank God I'm used to Charlie and the male ego. They're both alike. Once they get a hold of something they don't let go until everything is examined. Most people call it being bull headed or pig stubborn. I call it passion.

"And just so you know, Mr. Cullen, if you get out of line again... I know exactly how to deal with you."

"And how is that, Nurse Bella?" he asks snidely. I look him in the eye and let a little grin grace my lips.

"I'll call your wife." Mr. Cullen turns beat red.

"Touché, Nurse Bella, touché. But I will see those files."

I've recieved orders for Mr. Cullen's discharge when Ben comes by later in the afternoon. He's going home in the morning and won't be here for my next shift, Monday morning.

* * *

**A/N I hope everyone is enjoying the twists and turns so far. Are you ready to shoot me yet Random. Hehehe.**

**I would like to welcome NinjaHarryPotter and MsPeaceHope to the fold. I'm glad your enjoying the story so much. Don't forget to tell your friends about "Through the Lenz". There's pleanty of words left in the story.**

**Please leave comments/questions or thoughts in a review. Reviews are like rays of sunshine, share them with me and others.**

**I wish I had time to send out teasers and things like that but alas, between kids, work, and everything else that life dishes out, I don't. It's frustrating because Edward won't shut up. I've been trying to work on things from his percepective.**

**I also want to share with you the Banner that Christag_banner on twitter made for the story. I will be posting it on my profile page.**

**Oh.. and lets not forget out rec's:**

**WIP this week is- "The Space Where You Belong" by morethanmyself just posted it's 5****th**** chapter. Give it a chance and don't forget to review it. ****Summary: Jaded with love and resigned to being alone, Bella moves across the country to start over. There, she meets her quirky, bronze-haired neighbor, who just might change her mind. **

**Copy and paste this addy behind s/7151673/5/**

**Completed rec is-****It's a Sign**** by by CaraNo - Edward's the single father to an amzaing little girl... with a hearing disability. "Imagine my surprise when she crouched down to Emma's level... and began signing with her." Rated M for language and lemons. No angst. EPOV. ****Copy and paste this addy behind s/6804891/1/Its_ba_b_bSign_b**


	18. 18: Transition

**Thank you Random and Kezz for your reviews. I'm glad your enjoying the story. There's still plenty of story left and I hope you keep enjoying the twists to come.**

Random your right, and I tried to talk to charlie about his pov but he's not talking yet, but I'll keep trying. Right now I have 2 characters yelling for their time and pov. I've been telling them they have to wait and sit in the corner while I finish the chapters I have prep'd and then maybe.

I'd like to take a second and welcome venny93 and hollynn28 for their show of support by adding this story to their favorites as well as bonz245 and kms24 who put this story on alert. I hope everyone takes some time at the end of this chapter to introduce themselves an/or leave comments in the review box.

**Thank you Batgirl and Storypainter for the time you take each chapter to ensure that I have made my thoughts clear through the paragraph. The time you take to help me learn grammer and punctuation, each time you explain to me my errors and way-without making me feel stupid. I love you guys. I also want to thank aiden and pixiebella for pre-reading. Your suggestions help make the chapters that much better. **

* * *

_previously_

_I've already received orders for Mr. Cullen's release in the morning. Saturday. He won't be here for my next shift on Monday. I'm thinking maybe I won't tell him that he can go home tomorrow because honestly I don't want to think about it. I know that what I should do is tell him everything from the beginning but I wont. _

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Chapter 18: Transition

Do I want to say goodbye to Dr. Cullen, and his family? I know I should, but right now, I feel like a coward. If I say goodbye, what will it mean? The ramifications feel almost insurmountable. If I do, do I want him to know I know?

I finally remembered why the name Dr. Cullen sounded so familiar, and it's not from the park. It took me a while, but I finally remembered. He's a neurosurgeon from Chicago, ranked top of his field. He's also the surgeon from Chicago that Dr. Pantra wrote to three years ago that never answered my pleas for help. He was my last hope back then.

He's the one that performed the surgery that enabled Billy to walk again. If I open up, I don't think I will be able to stop from telling him everything. I don't think I can take that kind of rejection again. To get my hopes up and then have nothing come of it would be devastating. Bringing it up would be selfish. It wouldn't help Charlie or Dr. Cullen.

Because I don't know what to do, I do nothing. I'll let Joanne tell him about his discharge after I leave work tonight. I'll put a smile on and pretend like nothing is about to change, when in fact, everything is changing.

When Ben comes by later in the afternoon to speak with Carlisle, I encourage the relationship and hope that, in the end, Dr. Cullen will open up to Ben.

Ben leaves before dinner and his grin tells me more than he can put into words. Mr. Cullen is at least talking to him.

"Bella, I know it's been awhile but, remember, if you ever need to talk, I'm here," Ben says before leaving.

"Thank you, Ben. Um, why don't you come to talk to me tomorrow at, say, ten-thirty?" I know it's a dirty trick, and I really shouldn't, but the words are out of my mouth before I think it through.

"Sure, I can do that. See you then, Bella," he says as parting words. Little does he know, I won't be here tomorrow but Angela will. Angela deserves someone like Ben. I know they can be good together, if they give each other a chance.

Before I go to sleep, my last thoughts are of Charlie. I wonder how Mr. Cullen's discharge will affect him.

~~~~TTL~~~~~

Six weeks have passed since Mr./Dr. Cullen was discharged from rehab. The leaves have all changed colors. The leaves now vary from bright yellows to burnt sienna. Summer is over and fall won't last much longer. I'm starting to move on with my life. I still spend a lot of time at home, reading books or watching movies, but I make a point to go out once a week even if it's by myself.

I even went out on a date with a guy named Tony the week after Dr. Cullen went home. It was nothing to write home about but at least I got out of the house with another human being. It was a start at being more social.

I even share a cup of coffee before work with Angela a couple times a week. After work, I've joined her and Ben for a drinks a few times. At first, Ben isn't happy that I set them up the way I did, but after hitting it off with Angela, he quickly forgives me especially after she breaks up with her boyfriend. Angela is just mad because I didn't introduce them sooner.

I've let Jacob rent the house in Forks. It's lifted some weight off my shoulders.

He says my room is always available and he hopes that, come spring, maybe he and Leah will be in a place to start looking for a house of their own. Jacob even put my dad's bed up in the attic for storage, saying it's too small for him and Leah anyway. The thought of Jake and Leah in my dad's bed makes me cringe and laugh at the same time.

During the last few weeks, I've visited the park, but I have yet to take my camera. I've been sitting on Granny Anne's bench instead of hiding in the trees. I want everyone to feel safe, and seven weeks ago, that maybe people feel the opposite.

I never stay long, and I leave when I see any member of the Cullen family. I have a strong pull towards them and it scares me. I don't feel right about leaving my shift that night without saying bye to Carlisle. It doesn't help that I see Edward more than the others- at my favorite restaurant, movie theater, and coffee spot.

Though I don't think much about the significance of the date, during Halloween, I sit by my apartment door with a bowl of candy for the trick-or- treaters. I dress up as a bloody nurse and even put a red light bulb in the porch light for atmosphere.

Mid November, it's a Friday night and the ground is covered with the first snow of the season. It's not deep and it won't last through the night, but it's beautiful. I know that pretty soon I'll be sick of it and wish for spring to come.

As a police car pulls up, I watch the snow blow randomly across my front yard from the living room window. It isn't until I hear the doorbell ring that I move from my seat. It's a quiet night, so I'm curious as to why the police are knocking on my door at eight o'clock at night.

"Hello, officers. What can I do for you tonight?" I look around to see if there's anyone else outside but it's just the two of them.

"Are you Isabella Swan?" The female officer asks me.

"Yes," I answer cautiously. I can't think of a reason why they would be here.

"Are you Police Chief Charlie Swan's representative?" the male officer asks. Okay, this just officially became weird.

"Yes, I am. How may I help you, officers? Is everything okay?" I ask a bit fearful. Surely someone would have called me if something happened to Charlie!

"Miss Swan, can we have a few minutes of your time? This isn't something we really want to discuss at the door." I nod my head, answering the question and step back. I open the door wider, while gesturing for the officers to come inside.

"Sorry, I don't have a lot of places to sit," I say, directing one officer to the chair and the other to my computer desk, bringing the stool from the kitchen for myself.

"That's fine, Miss. Swan. What we have to say shouldn't take very long." The officers share a look, as if they're trying to figure out which one is going to tell me what's going on.

"Just spit it out. You're really making me nervous," I demand. The female officer clears her throat before she begins.

"Miss Swan…we have a new lead in the shooting of your father…and the District Attorney's office would like to meet with you or your father. I can't go into specifics because it's part of an ongoing investigation," she explains as the male officer stands.

Oh, well, is that all? Wait. What?

"It's been almost three years with no leads, and now, you get a new lead?"

The male officer takes a few steps towards me, holding a paper in his hand.

"This is a formal request for your presences at the District Attorney's office. It is set for nine am., Monday morning," he says, then hands me the papers and takes a step back. The female officer stands up and thanks me for my time before they walk to the door. I don't even hear the door click shut. When the shock wears off, the officers are already gone. I get up to lock the door. I sit down in the chair, picking up the ominous piece of paper and read it, and read it again, hoping it will start making sense, but it never does.

I sit there all night. I thought I'd finally gotten past the worst of this whole mess, and now it's just like it's happening all over again. Nothing can hold back the memories as they spew into the foreground.

"_BS, he's gone. We've done everything. It's no use. Let it go."_

"_No, 1-2-3-4... I can't 6-7-8." Someone is pulling on me but I can't let go._

_A mixture of that night and the night in the park swirl around in my head on repeat over and over, seeming to never let go. I don't know how to stop them. _

The sky outside my window lightens as the sun rises over Seattle.

Outside, the snow has stopped and what that remains on the ground is patchy at best. It won't be long before it's gone, at least until the next storm. It will disappear quickly like a long-awaited peace when the police knocked at my door.

Now, I have another choice to make, and I don't know what I will choose. Will I shut down again and ride out the storm, like I did after Charlie's violent attack? Or will I live life—my life—in spite of it, with meaning?

Last night's news takes me back to a place I don't want to be, ever again. It's the past and it needs to stay there. I don't know if I can survive it this time. My brain swirls around with questions, without answers.

There's no sense of my surroundings, no grasp on time. There is no warmth within the walls of my apartment. I watch the snow melt from my window until it is gone. I have to get out... out from behind these walls... I have to get away... from this place. I have to be able to think, but my mind isn't working properly. I don't feel anything except numb, again.

I don't remember leaving my apartment. I don't know where I'm going. I let my body take control of my actions. It's without conscious thought that I find myself sitting at the park.

I can't make sense of what the blonde woman in front of me is saying. I look at her deep blue eyes, trying to figure out what the noise is that sounds like buzzing. She looks familiar, but I have no idea who she is or who the large dark haired man behind her is. I close my eyes to block out the world hoping that if I don't open them again time will stop.

I can't get the beeping in my head to stop. I can't stop looking into the vacant eyes of my father. I can't stop the world from spinning. I am at its mercy, not the other way around. Time doesn't stop for anyone, including me.

It's a nagging pull at the back of my mind. Whispers at first but it grows slowly in intensity.

"Miss Swan" it's a whisper echoing somewhere in the dark and quiet spot of my mind. I look around, afraid, as it grows in volume. The voice is coming for me but, even in the dark, there is no place to hide. I can faintly see the outline of a figure and I try to move away from it, but it beckons to me again.

"Miss Swan." The voice is louder now; the darkness slowly is giving way to gray. The figure takes on a more solid appearance. I can make out a leather jacket and blonde hair pulled into a pony tail as the figure turns more towards me as he approaches. I watch as the gray grows lighter. My heart starts to race, keeping pace with the beeping, as he calls my name again. He comes closer to me, his arms reaching for me.

"Miss Swan." I look at him, and I make out his defining features, his exultant grin. His eyes have an evil glint, and his hands are covered in blood. I turn to run but there is nowhere to run. I can feel him grab at me while I look away.

My heart and breathing race faster as I run away with no thought of direction. I hear the sound of a gunshot. I scream and light shatters my gray world as my eyes bolt open and my body jerks away from his grasp.

Relief fills me as I realize I'm safe from my newest nightmare and relief turns to tears that blur my vision.

I have a choice to make. To keep going the way I have been existing with the cards the evil harpy named Fate has dealt me, or live life- my life-with meaning, beyond the cards dealt to me.

"Miss Swan." I blink the tears from my eyes so that I can focus on who is talking to me.

"I'm Officer McCarthy."

* * *

**Don't forget to review. Click on the button. It only takes a minute.**

**On a side note, last week I received an email from Emerging Swan Awards stating that my O/S "Alice's Secret" was nominated for "Best Cullen Lovin" canon and non. Excluding E/B. If you want to read it jump over to Emerging Swan Awards, scroll down, and read all the entries.**

**I have to admit when I got the letter my face turned beat read because I definitely was not expecting it. Alice's Secret was pre-read but never beta'd and it's a little scattered but it just wouldn't leave me alone. I thought it was cute and sweet. We shall see how the voting goes.**

**Now onto rec's.**

**This weeks WIP: **have you been reading "**In Your World**" by Solostingtwilight. She's getting close to the end but it's still a work in progress so skip over there before then end.

Summary: Bella is running from her life when it takes an unexpected detour, To  
Amish Country in rural Iowa where she finds sanctuary with a caring family.  
And meets a man who draws her into his world. Welcome to the world of  
Amishward.  
URL: copy and past this **/s/6811278/1/** at the end of to read.

**This weeks Completed Fic is "****A Betting Man****" **by mybluesky.

Summery: Edward makes a bet with Bell's ex, James, that he can bed her. Bella learns of the bet through a friend and decides to string Edward along for a bit and subsequently land herself a hot date for her friend's wedding. Things soon get very interesting.

URL: copy and past this **/s/5568348/1/ **at the end of to read.

Introduce yourself, leave a comment, review, or whatever, but take a minute to say Hi.


	19. 19: Beginning of Truth

**Welcome back. Have a new chapter for everyone as you can see. Kezz, Edward has his own story about things but currently I had to tell him to sit in the corner with the others. Sorry. But trust me any questions asked in review will be asked of the player. Hehehe never know how that will turn out. I'd like to welcome hollynn28 and FLQ who has added this story to a c1 community. I know the TBR list gets long fast. Anywho, read on.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 19: Beginning of Truth**

"Where am I?" I ask, looking around and realizing I'm in a hospital bed, and I have no idea how I got here. I try sitting up but I'm tangled up in wires and cords. Well, at least that's how it feels.

I remove the wires from where they're attached, and the machine next to the bed sounds an alarm- a horrid, long, flat beeping sound. I pull at the IV that is taped to my arm.

Officer McCarthy, better known as Emmett, is trying to keep me from removing the IV.

"Miss Swan, it's okay. STOP!" His voice booms, making me look at him instead of at the IV I've been attempting to remove. He looks at me with panic written on his face. It's comical but I can't laugh because he looks so serious.

Almost instantly, a nurse comes running through the door to see why the alarm is going off on the machine next to me.

"Well at least you're conscious this time, Miss Swan," the nurse says, sounding almost bored as she slows down. I don't acknowledge her because I'm still looking at Emmett.

"How are you feeling this morning, Miss Swan?" She turns off the alarm before turning to check on me. When I finally look at her, my head is swimming and I feel nauseous. This isn't good. How did I get here? Why am I here?

"Sit back and relax. Let me look at the IV you almost have ripped out…Well…I guess we have a decision to make here. It or I can set up a new one. The question is, however, can you be trusted if I leave it out?"

"Just take it out," I spew. Ah… my throat hurts as my voice makes an appearance. I fall back to the mattress, exhausted.

"If you can excuse us for a few minutes, officer, I need to tend to my patient."

Officer Emmett McCarthy steps back and leaves, while the nurse attends to the IV.

"Well, you're awake now and you have a voice…so tell me how you're feeling, Miss Swan."

"Bella," I correct. "Confused I think?"

"I'm sure you are. Well let's see, you were brought into the emergency room yesterday afternoon." I just look at her hoping she will answer the unasked questions I have without me having to ask. It seems like she's on that track anyway. She looks me in the eyes before she continues.

"You were found by a couple at a park in your pajamas. Do you know how long you were out there?" she asks. I shake my head. I don't even remember being at a park. She looks at me hard and I almost feel like crawling away.

I close my eyes and try to remember. The only thing I see is a blond haired man, with a pony tail, wearing a leather jacket. I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I know it's only a nightmare.

"I think I had a panic attack. It wouldn't be the first time." The first time was about three years ago. Charlie! Shit! I have to talk to Charlie. I struggle to get up as the nurse pushes me back down.

"Miss Swan, please relax and rest for a bit. You're safe and in very good hands. Give yourself a chance to catch up. Whatever you've been through was enough to land you here almost frozen to death."

What? Frozen to death? What the hell are you talking about, I question, forgetting to use my voice as I look at her. My face had to have shown the shock.

"Well, that might be a slight exaggeration but not far from it. It could have easily been worse than it was. Now, rest for a bit and I'll be back to check on you. I'm going to let the doctor know you're awake." I watch her walk out the door and I hear her speak to the officer, Emmett, outside before the door fully closes.

How do they even know who I am?

The last thing I really remember is two officers being at my apartment giving me the formal request thing to be at the DA's office. What day is it? Is it Saturday or Sunday?

I have to figure this out. I have to get to my clothes. I sit up and wait for the spinning in my head to stop.

Once I'm dressed I feel much more comfortable. Sitting on my bed, I think about what happened, where I am, and how I am going to get home.

When the door opens, I'm shocked to see who is standing there.

"Jacob," I whisper, too emotional to be louder. I want to go home. I want to cry and I don't know why.

I'm out of the bed hugging him before he's completely through the door.

"Bells, thank God. You scared the shit out of me, you know that," he reprimands me as he wraps his arms around me, holding me tight. He leads me back to the bed and sits me down. Hunching over he looks me in the eye. I feel small, very small compared to him.

"I just want to go home," I say, sniffling. He puts his hand on the side of my face making me feel warm and safe all at the same time.

"Okay, Bells," he says, stroking my hair and kissing me on the forehead like a little sister when Officer McCarty returns and clears his throat to get our attention.

"Miss Swan, can I speak to you for a few minutes?" Officer McCarty asks.

I nod to Emmett and Jacob releases my hand to leave but I grab his hand so that he can't. Jacob tightens his grip around mine in assurance. I look up to a set of very kind eyes when I look at Officer Emmett McCarty. There's something very familiar deja vu about him but I can't put my finger on it.

"Mrs. Swan, can you explain to me what happened… why you were found at the park yesterday?" he asks.

Can I explain? How much detail can I omit without getting into trouble? Do I know why I was at the park in the first place?

"I think I had a panic attack," I suggest. Emmett isn't buying it, so I add, "I was exhausted by the time the officers left my apartment." I don't want to say anything. I don't want to explain the nightmares I have or the connection of the park, his father, Edward, or myself.

"When officers left your apartment? I don't understand. When was that?" he asks. He is being very gentle with his questions. He isn't trying to assume anything. He waits for me to explain.

"Last night?" I looked at him. "What day is it?" I didn't know for sure.

"It's Sunday morning, Miss Swan," he answers. "You were found at, Frink Park, yesterday, around noon, with no ID. Your friend here refused to accept that he had to wait twenty-four hours before filing a missing persons report and was arguing with the police all morning. So when the call came through with your description…" He let the rest of the statement go unsaid.

"Friday night, two police officers came to my apartment with an 'Official Request' from the DA's office. That's the last thing I remember."

"Can I ask why the DA would request you to come into the office?" His voice was kind and gentle and caring.

"They think they have a new lead in an old case. That's all I know. I guess I panicked after that."

"Who found me at a park?" I ask as my brain starts to kick in. This is Emmett from the park, Officer McCarthy from the news, the funny son-in-law of Carlisle Cullen. He was the man at the park, and standing behind him was the blond haired woman. Rosalie. Shit.

"Actually, my wife and I found you at the park. It's the first time we've gone to that park in several months." He cast his eyes to the floor. I understand.

"Well, if you're sure no crime was committed, I guess that's everything. I'm glad you're okay." He hands me a card as he stands. "If you need anything, someone to talk to, give me a call." I nod. I can't look him in the eyes because I've lied and then he is gone.

"Let me check with the nurse and see about you going home," Jacob says before leaving the room.

I don't think or move a muscle the whole time Jacob is gone, and it doesn't take all that long for Jacob to return before he takes me home.

Jacob stays the night after calling Billy and Leah, letting them know I'm safe. I guess, no, I have, scared everyone pretty badly.

He's in town to let me know that he's signed all the paper work with the property management group to rent the house, but the new key they gave him doesn't work in the locks. He figured he could come to Seattle and get the key from me. When he gets back to Forks he plans on surprise Leah now that everything has been cleaned up. I think it's his excuse to check up on me.

Since I can't seem to remember the events of last night, I ask Jacob for his version.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

When he arrived at my apartment and found the door open, the entrance wet, and no sign of me, he knew something was wrong. I wouldn't leave my apartment open like that.

He called the police and they sent an officer over but he wouldn't take a report even though my ID and purse were still there. Jacob almost got himself arrested but decided to go to the precinct and talk to someone else-it was either arrest Jacob or take the report.

He told me about Officer McCarty and his wife coming into the station house, telling the desk clerk about a woman found at a nearby park. Jacob put it together and showed the officer an old high school picture of me. Officer McCarty introduced himself and said he thought that we were the same person. The hair was longer and the girl was a few years older but yes, definitely the same person.

Jacob went straight to the hospital and didn't leave until he brought me home.

"Bella, I about had a heart attack when I saw you. You were so pale I thought you were dead." Jacob won't look me in the eye. So, yup, I scared him. "Nobody knew how long you had been out there. It was more than a couple of hours. They said you were lucky because if it had been any colder things might not have turned out so well." Jacob turned towards me, anger flashing in his eyes, catching me off guard.

"What were you thinking, Bella?" I hear the anger and fear in his voice. "I had to tell them that I was your Fiancé for Christ sake. Do you know what Leah is going to do to me if she finds out?" I watch as his emotions cause his body to shake almost uncontrollably. His face is not that of my friend Jacob but some wild beast from the forest. He's angry with me and scared for me. I can't blame him and it's my fault.

"I wasn't thinking, Jacob. I'm sorry. All I can remember is I had to get out of here." I put my head between my hands. I had to question my own sanity. What was I thinking? What was I doing? I was falling back into the same pattern I had been in after Charlie got shot. That's when I started cutting myself off from everything and everyone. That's when I turned invisible. It wasn't because people didn't see me. I wouldn't let them see me. I'm in the same spot I was three years ago. How did I get back to this place? I don't want to be here anymore.

I can't remember who said it but they were right. I'm going to have to face the past before I can truly move on. Everything has to be in the open with nothing hidden, no secrets. I have to deal with what is going on. I'm not protecting anyone, especially not Charlie.

I'm not embarrassed by Charlie, but I have been caring more about what people think than how everything is affecting the people I love. That needs to stop and it's going to stop, and it has to start with Jacob. He's here and he wants to know the whole story.

"Bella, what's going through that brain of yours?" Jacob says sitting next to me. His anger is gone but not his fear.

"I don't even know where to start. Charlie being shot that night, or me walking out on my patients in the emergency room. Where do you want me to start, Jacob?"

"From the beginning. After you get some sleep first. You look exhausted. Come on." Jacob lifts me by my arm and walks me to my bedroom. He pulls the covers over me once I'm lying down.

"Everything's going to be fine," he promises, stoking my hair as I fall asleep almost instantly.

* * *

**A/N I looked at parks in Seattle Washington and a lot of the pictures depict what I had in mind so I thought I would share this one though it's only the way into the park but hopefully you get the idea. Remove the extra spaces. Http:/ . org/wiki/File:Frink_Park_-_**

**I'm not sharing the usual rec's this week. "Through the Lenz" has been nominated for the Emerging Swan Awards as well as alot of other full leagth stories that are wips and completes so I'm recommending that everyone skips over there and reads along with me. Copy, Paste, and delete the extra spaces into your browser.**

**http:/ emergingswanawards .blogspot . com/**

**And don't forget to Read and Review. It's the only way to pay it forward. Indroducations, comments, thoughts, questions. I'll take them all.**


	20. 20: Sprained but not Broken

**A/N: Thank you Batgirl and Storypainter for you awsome ability to beta my addiction to mis-spelling, wrong use of words, and comma addiction. Thank you for your awsome ability to keep me from using the same words over and over and over (see I used the word over 3, yes I used the number not three lol, times). **

**Thank you kezz for taking the time to post a review. It's the only thing that keeps me going and posting this story. Ammers30 and cjtwility, welcome to the fold. I hope you take a few minutes to introduce yourself and share any thoughts about the story. To the c2 community, For the stories that deserve a little more love, Thank you for adding this story. **

**Hope everyone enjoys this chapter. This one was fun to write. Well at least the first scene lol. **

* * *

CHAPTER 20: Sprained but not Broken

It's still dark outside when I wake up needing to pee. The sounds Jacob is producing from the living room remind me of a chainsaw. Jumping out of bed, my feet do not find the floor but an unstable mound of flesh, causing me to trip and fall.

I hear Jacob yell as I land awkwardly on the floor. What is he doing next to my bed on the floor?

"Damn it, Jacob! What are you doing?" I yell back. My arm hurts from the impact of my fall. "Shit."

"God, Bella, ugghh," he moans in pain. "I'm sorry. You were talking in your sleep...ugghh... you were having a nightmare...You asked me not to leave so I didn't," he explains. It takes a minute, then, I hear him laugh instead of cry.

"Still a klutz, I see," he says, now laughing. I hope I stepped on his important parts while getting out of bed. I pick myself up and run to the bathroom because now I really have to use it.

"Jacob, get me an ice pack from the freezer, will you?" I ask. "I'll be right out."

When I finally finish using the bathroom, I head to the kitchen and place the ice pack that he hands me on my arm. Checking the time, I see it's only eleven thirty Sunday night. Jacob is still finding amusement at my misfortune.

"Well, seeing as we're both up, why don't you make yourself useful and make some coffee because I don't plan on going back to sleep," I demand and watch as Jacob starts making coffee without complaint.

"What?" he asks, looking at me as he spoons the coffee into the filter before pushing the on button.

"Wow, that's what! I think I've officially lost my mind because Jacob doesn't make coffee. Jacob doesn't do things in the kitchen, except inhale food. Who kidnapped my friend and left you in his place? I want to thank them," I say lightheartedly.

"Leah, did," he says smiling. "I like helping her in the kitchen. Her food's way better than yours," he banters back. _Jerk_.

"That's it, no more lasagna for you, big fella. Beans and weenies, out of a can," I volley.

Knowing tomorrow is going to be busy, I call work to let them know I won't be there in the morning. Joanne answers, and I'm glad its not Jane, the phone and I explain that I have an appointment tomorrow that I can't get out of, and someone will need to cover my shift.

Standing behind the counter in the kitchen, Jacob serves me a cup of coffee. He's waiting for me to break the silence and start talking about what is going on.

My arm still hurts like hell and it definitely looks like it's going to be another trip to the hospital tonight. I'll give it till the end of the first cup of coffee before I make the decision. Then, tomorrow, the DA's office.

"So…" I start, but I have to find a place to begin.

"So…" Jacob encourages. I just glare back at him. He doesn't have to make this harder than it is going to be for me.

"Do you remember the night Charlie got shot?" He nods while taking a sip of his coffee. I look down at the counter and let the memories start to slowly drift through my mind.

"I was working in the ER that night. I was part of the team that met the Flight for Life helicopter. I was doing CPR when I realized it was Charlie." I swallow hard and continue to tell Jacob about that night.

I distance myself from the emotions that the current situation has stirred up inside. I tell Jacob about that night until the story is finished, and I take my last sip of coffee.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Jacob grabs his keys and it's a few minutes after midnight when we are sitting in his car on the way to the emergency room. I'm going to have my arm x-rayed just to make sure it isn't broken. It's the same arm I hurt in Mr. Cullen's room when Charlie lost it after I woke him up.

"That must have been hard on you, Bells," Jacob says as he pulls into traffic.

"It's been hard all the way around, Jacob."

On the way to the emergency room, I tell Jacob about how hard it is dealing with Charlie, and why I finally had him admitted into a long term care facility. How bad I felt that I had to put my fifty year old dad in that place. Why I got rid of my nicer apartment to reduce my overhead to keep Charlie in a nicer facility and how his insurance wouldn't cover everything.

I tell Jacob how scared I was at first and that Charlie wouldn't even talk to me for the first three months. I explain how taking pictures in the park and sharing them with Charlie has somehow bridged the gap in his memory. How Charlie will only call me You, and not Bella or Isabella. He never refers to me as Nurse but always You.

I even tell Jacob how Mike dumped me when the paychecks stopped rolling in, how he now has a wife and child, and how he married Lauren two weeks after he left me.

"He always was a putz. I never did like that kid. He was always too happy to help you out. More like help you out of your money if you ask me." I laugh at that. Jacob's right, he was a putz.

Jacob helps me fill out the paperwork in the emergency room and sits with me until the nurse calls me into triage. It doesn't take very long before I am sitting in a room waiting for the doctor. At least they didn't put me in the same room Charlie had been in. I don't like being here, but my arm hurts badly enough that it doesn't matter.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

"Welcome back, Miss Swan," a voice I recognize sings. Knowing that voice, I'm not surprised when I look up and watch Edward come into view. _God he looks good in scrubs_. I feel the blush move up my body, and I look back at the floor. Figures he is on night shift for his internship. I knew he got accepted here for that. Why did I come to this ER again?

"Fuck," I whisper under my breath because he looks too good right now. And of course with my luck that he would be the one to see me.

"Hi, Doc, I can't say as it's nice to be back." I giggle to cover my embarrassment but ogling this man does distract me from the pain in my arm.

"Well, here I thought you made your way back because of the excellent service." I can hear humor and maybe a little teasing in his voice as I watch the side of his mouth turn up in a lop sided style grin. Is he flirting with me?

"Funny, but no, I didn't. I fell and hurt my arm. I think I might have broken it," I say lifting my arm up still covered with an ice pack. His face turns serious as he takes notice of my arm.

I watch as he pulls a stool underneath his form and I can't help but notice how toned is body is as I watch him roll next to me. I feel an electric tingle as he carefully pulls my arm towards him, removing the ice pack. I close my eyes at the sensation of his fingers moving across the flesh of my arm. After I open my eyes to watch him, I have to swallow hard. His fingers are strong but delicately move around the spot on my arm that hurts. I hear him clear his throat before he speaks.

"I think coming in for an x-ray was a wise decision on your part, Miss Swan." I almost laugh as I watch him clumsily stand up from the stool. "I'll send someone right in to get you to x-ray."

"Miss Swan, can I ask how this happened? I mean...did someone do this to you?" he asks. His voice is filled with concern.

"Oh, God. No! Jacob wouldn't hurt a fly. He was involved, but not like that. I tripped over him getting out of bed to go to the bathroom." _Oh God, that doesn't sound right_. Heat flushes my body as my face turns an ever deeper color of red. I try to shake off the embarrassment. Jacob had to insinuate that he was my fiance when we filled out paperwork.

"I see. Well how about we get you down to x-ray then," he says putting the professional mask back in place. He clears his throat before exiting the room. If I'm not mistaken, I think I just embarrassed Doctor Edward Cullen. If his neck is any indication, his face must match mine.

With Edward gone, I shake my head and laugh lightly. This is the most embarrassing, sexiest visit I had ever had to the emergency room. I can't even begin to explain Jacob's and mine relationship, so I let it go at that.

It only takes five minutes for someone to come in and wheel me down to x-ray. I spend about twenty minutes there and return to the emergency room. I think how dangerous it would be to spend time around Edward, and then chastise myself for even thinking like it.

I don't have time for stuff like that right now. I still have to figure out how I am going to live my life after my meeting with the DA in a few hours. Right now, my life holds too many uncertainties. I am just starting to make room for friends again in my life. Besides, I'm sure he has his pick of the litter just by smiling-and what a smile it is, especially when his smile reaches his eyes.

_Those green, green eyes! Bella get a grip. You're in the emergency room because you might have broken your arm tripping over your best friend getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. You have an official request to meet with the DA in about six or so hours. You don't have room right now to be having those kinds of thoughts or feelings._

"Well, Miss Swan, you are a very lucky woman," Edward states, instantly stopping my internal monolog. "But, I must warn you that sometimes a sprain takes longer to heal than a break does. I recommend taking some Motrin for the pain and any swelling and try not to put too much stress on it." Doctor Edward Cullen is all business now and, unfortunately, I expect no less. Hope maybe, but expect, no.

"The nurse will be by in a minute to put a dressing on your arm, and I'm recommending a sling for the next seven days to use at your own discretion. Do you understand?" I nodded confirming that I do. "The gentleman outside will be relieved to know you're okay." Doctor Edward Cullen is gone before I can correct him, if I even should correct his assumptions. Maybe it's for the best right now that I don't have the chance.

Jacob takes care of me as he walks me out into the early morning.

"Well at least it's not broken," I say before Jacob closes the car door. I think he is as relieved as I am that it isn't. At least he doesn't look guilty anymore. He climbs into my car and drives us home. How he even managed to get his large frame into my small car and have the ability to drive is beyond me.

"I think I'm going to rename you Sardine," I joke. It's funny but Jacob doesn't laugh like I think he should. Jacob's head is somewhere else, and I doubt he hears me.

"Well at least I can still see over the top of the steering wheel. Somebody would think that my truck was remote control if you were driving it." Now he laughs.

"Ha, I use to drive that truck to school all the time," I counter and smile and look out the window. Lost in my own thoughts, we're home before I realize it. I'm glad that my arm isn't broken. I'm glad Jacob was here for me Saturday and that he is a loyal and trusted friend. It definitely made the weekend a better place to be, even if it was a shit weekend.

After getting home, I'm tired and Jacob has to head back to Forks in a few hours. He's already been gone longer than he originally planned.

"Hey, Jacob…um, here's the key to the house before I forget." I lean over the counter and hand Jacob the key.

"Man, I almost forgot that's what I came up here for." He takes the key and puts it on his key ring. "So, what is this DA thing for, this morning?" I guess we're going to carry on with the heavy discussion after all.

"I don't know anything other than they have a new lead in Charlie's case." I bite my toast, filling my mouth, so I don't have to continue.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Jacob. I won't know anything until I find out what is going on. Your guess is as good as mine," I say because honestly, I really don't know what to think. "It's been almost three years."

"You didn't do the photography thing this weekend. How come?"

"Well, did Billy tell you about Dr. Cullen?" I ask. He nods, letting me know that he, in fact, knows about the robbery/attempted murder, or whatever it was.

"Well…um…I was there that night too. I was taking pictures."

Jacob's eyes grow wide with shock.

"I photographed the whole thing," I add in a whisper.

"Are you kidding me? Bella, please tell me you're kidding."

"I haven't had a gallery showing since. Nobody really feels safe."

Jacob and I spend the next hour talking about that night and, though I don't tell him everything that happened, I tell him most of it.

"Jacob, you need to head back to Forks, and I need to head off to the DA's office," I say, leaving the bathroom. I just finished showering and changing into more formal clothing for my meeting with the DA.

"Do you need me to come with you?" Sometimes I really hate it when he goes into protection mode but at the same time it's sweet to think he cares that much. I would do the same for him if the situation were reversed.

"No, Jake. I got this one. I promise!" I say as I open the door and let Jacob exit the apartment before me. Once we're at our vehicles, I give Jacob a big hug and it feels good to be hugged back.

Jacob isn't going to push and I'm not going to pull. We say our laters, never bys, and go about our day as if it's just another day.

Yes, having friends in your life is a good thing. Just like my arm, my life's not broken just sprained.

* * *

**This week I'm suggesting everyone walks over to the EmergingSwanAwards and read all the under appreciated stories on the site. I know voting is already over but the o/s are great. Come read them with me.**** Copy and Paste, removing extra spaces" http:/ emergingswanawards . Blogspot . com/p/one-shot-nominees . html**

**AND DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THE LOVE AND REVIEW. COME ON...IT ONLY TAKES A MINUTE AND IT MEANS SO MUCH.**


	21. 21: Ultimatum

**Welcome Nerdettelove to the fold. Its great to have you here. I'm glad that you Like the story so far and that it peeks your interest. Be forewarned. I told everyone that there is plenty of twists left in the story and this is just one of them. So, You are not allowed to kill me today or tomorrow.**

**Thank you Random for the review. I love it when you guys share things with me even if it doesn't change the story. I like knowing where everyone's thoughts are going as they follow along with the story.**

**Kezz, no worries about reviews or me finishing the story. It's only a matter of revising and editing chapters. Basically they are all written. I swore before I even started this story I would not start posting unless it came to a conclusion.**

**And just so you know comments about the story doesn't mean anyone is off base. As soon as time permits I'll be working on interviews with characters from the story. That should be interesting.**

**Thank you Storypainter and Batgirl for your ability to beta and help me clean up every chapter. You're awsome (see i used the right word here). lol.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 21: Ultimatum**

I walk through the doors at the court house and find my way to the district Attorney's office. I'm not really sure if I even care about a new lead in my dad's shooting. I just want my father back the way he was before all this started, or at least, able to remember who I am, if nothing else. I feel like this is a waste of time and I'm not sure I will share what they have to say today with Charlie.

The fact is, I'm pretty pissed off about being here. I just want to get on with my life and let Charlie live his life as best he can.

I approach the desk and am greeted by a lovely woman who introduces herself as Gianna. She speaks with a foreign accent that I can't place, since I haven't been anywhere other than Washington. She takes my name and informs me that Mr. Jenks will be with me in a few minutes.

Thirty minutes later a man in his late forties or early fifties steps out from the office door. He is a heavy set man but I wouldn't call him fat. His hair is thinning lightly on top and his hair is graying at the temples. The sleeves to his shirt are rolled from the cuff to just below his elbows. His tie hangs loosely around his neck. He looks at me then at Gianna.

"Miss Swan?" he asks me and I nod. He waves me in and returns back through his office door. I stand and straighten my skirt, before I follow him. He's seated by the time I enter.

"Thank you, Miss Swan, for coming in. I'm sorry if our meeting has in anyway disrupted your schedule. Please have a seat," he says formally, not even offering his hand for me to shake. I sit in the chair that he pointed out, mentally preparing myself for what is about to be said.

"You're welcome, Mr. Jenks." I pull my hair over my shoulder wishing I had pulled it into a pony tail instead. "So..."

"So...Yes...I assume you understand why you were summoned to my office." He's looking between me and the papers he has on his desk in front of him.

"I guess because there's been a new lead in the case regarding my father, Charlie Swan." I hope I explained that right. Because right now my mouth feels like sandpaper and I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to get my hopes up, again. Mr. Jenks sits back in his chair, letting his shoulders drop ever so slightly, looking at me with disbelief.

"Is that all they told you, Miss Swan?" he asks with a heavy sigh.

"Well, to be honest, Mr. Jenks, that's all I really remember of the conversation. They may have said more, but I really wasn't processing anything after they said they found another lead. It's been almost three years." I'm nervously watching my hands as I wring them over and over. I really don't want to go through this again.

"Well, let me clear up some things for you, young lady. One, yes, we have a new lead; two, its more than that; and three, I hope you or your father are ready to go to court and testify on behave of your family." My head jerks up and I take a long hard look at Mr. Jenks. He has my attention so he better not waste my time.

"I don't think I understand the situation then, Mr. Jenks." How much of the conversation did I miss Friday night? My thoughts were stuck on 'new lead', not court or testifying.

"Miss Swan." Mr. Jenks leans above his desk, his arms resting atop it, his hands folded together. "We have had an arrest to a different crime. The same gun used in the case is the same gun used in the attempted murder of your father. I'm not sure we can directly connect him with the attempted murder of your father, though I do believe it to be the same person. We cannot directly link him unless your father can testify, and from what I understand, there might be a problem with that. That's if I have my facts straight. Do I have my facts straight, Miss Swan?"

There is no way that Charlie could ever testify. He would get everything confused or worse; he could help get the person off.

"It's not that he wouldn't know, Mr. Jenks. He would. He just can't keep things straight in his mind and that would probably hurt more than help in the long run." The room is so silent it's loud, almost too loud.

"Miss Swan." Mr. Jenks leans closer. "Do you think your father would know him? I mean even if he is unable to testify. Would he know?"

I swallow really hard.

"I can't be for certain. I know how scrambled Charlie's mind is. He doesn't even comprehend that I'm his daughter, but it's all there...somewhere in his head, Mr. Jenks." Do I even believe that myself? I have to conclude that I do because it comes out of my mouth. I still hold out hope that maybe...I can't even be honest with myself and finish that thought.

"Miss Swan, I am one hundred percent sure that the man we have in custody is guilty of the crimes he is charged with. I'm also one hundred percent sure that he is the one that tried to murder your father! Do you even realize how much satisfaction I would find in prosecuting this person, knowing he was guilty of the attempted murder of a police officer, even if said police officer can't testify on his own behalf?"

"If you're not prosecuting this person for the, as you say, attempted murder of my father, why do you need us?" My eyebrows furrow and I know I have a confused look on my face because I don't get what this new crime has to do with my father other than it appears to be the same gun.

"Well, honestly, Miss Swan, I'm still building a case and I was hoping that maybe the information I have about your father was wrong. I'm hoping that during a lineup, he might recognize said criminal." Mr. Jenks looks down at his desk for a minute before looking back at me.

"If your father is able to identify his shooter...I...it...If your father identifies the shooter and it is the person that we have in custody, we might be able to link him to at least four other murders."

"What!" I don't worry how loud my voice is. "You want to use my father to link this person to four other murders? After everything he's been through and how it's affected him?" I'm standing with my hands on the front edge of his desk yelling at him, in total disbelief, that he can assume to use my father in such a manner.

"Miss Swan, I really don't need you on board to do this. I would rather have you on board but I can get a court order...even with your father's health issues." Mr. Jenks stands up, looking down at me, but he doesn't yell. In fact, he turns cold. He's not joking or trying to protect me. I can see he believes every word that just came out of his mouth and I'm livid.

He grabs a folder from somewhere off his desk and starts dropping pictures on the desk. His focus drifts from me to the photos as he drops them, one by one, in front of me. I look at them involuntarily.

"Bree Williams, 45 years old… Douglas Tanner, 34 years old… Riley Tread, 23 years old." He continues dropping pictures on the desk. There are several different people, different angles, different locations, but all the same image. I don't hear the name or age when he says the last one aloud.

I feel the color run from my face and I have to sit down. I close my eyes when he covers the pictures with a folder. It doesn't help because I can still see the images in my head. I'll comply with what he wants. I don't like it, in fact I hate it, but I have to remember who Charlie was and is, and what he has stood for his whole life. He would want to help. I think I'm going to be sick.

"If you're going to do this no matter what I say, why did you even bother to ask me to come here?" I ask, opening my eyes to look at him.

"Because I want this man put away for as long as humanly or non-humanly possible. I want this monster off the streets for the rest of his life, longer if I can get it."

"What do you need me to do, other than talk to Charlie about this?" Mr. Jenks relaxes in his seat.

"Miss Swan, I've done my homework. I've thought long and hard about this. The only thing I need you to do is be there. I have a psychiatrist that is new to the area that will talk to him. He knows that there are issues but he doesn't know what they are. I need you there as Charlie's representative, Miss Swan, that's it."

"You know this isn't going to be easy on Charlie, or myself. You understand that, right?" My voice raises on the last sentence. He has to know what he is getting us into and I really don't believe he knows anything atbout what's is going to happen.

"I've already made arrangements for myself and the court appointed psychiatrist to see Charlie on Wednesday. If he's agreeable, I want him to participate in a line up at the jail to see if, and I know it's a big if, he recognizes anyone in the lineup. Miss Swan, if he can identify this person as the person that shot him-this man will never and I mean never-see the light of day again," Mr. Jenks tries to assure me but it doesn't work.

"But he won't be able to testify. Why do you have to get him all wound up about something that is so messed up in his head?"I want to know what Mr. Jenks' reason is but he doesn't answer the question,

After my meeting with Mr. Jenks I make an appointment with my old therapist. I haven't been there in over a year, but I need someone to talk to and work things out with that is objective. I'm not sure who I'm trying to protect, Charlie or myself.

I don't want to get Charlie's hopes up because I know that it will only lead to frustration for me. I have no idea how Charlie is going to react. Currently, he is unpredictable at best. I can be honest and tell him what's going on and he could react in so many different ways. He could be impassive or he could get violent. He might think it's funny or he can panic. You never know how Charlie is going to take something like this and after talking with my therapist, she agrees.

The only conclusion I come to is that I will keep things to myself for the time being. If I feel the need to tell Charlie and the opportunity arises, I might tell him but maybe it's for the best if I let the DA and his psychologist tell him. I decide that it's for the best if I let them tell him the news. If Charlie was in his right mind I wouldn't have to worry about it.

Monday afternoon I need a distraction after I return home for the day. I feel restless and anxious. I need to get out of my own head and the only thing I know that will do that is the bag sitting in my closet that hasn't seen the light of day in months.

It isn't snowing yet but the leaves are past their peak. The richness of fall in all its glory has already past. The branches are in full view as the trees prepare themselves for the winter ahead. The grass is no longer the rich green that you associate with living in Washington. Dried leaves litter the ground creating a blanket of dull color across the open space before me.

I pull the collar of my jacket tighter around my neck as I lean forward, looking at a patch of dried leaves that sparkle from the sunlight in the midst of shadows from the trees above them. _Click, click, click._

Joggers no longer wear shorts and t-shirts as they did during the height of a humid summer. Sweatpants and zip-up sweatshirts keep their bodies warm while knit beanies hide the color of their hair and keep their heads warm. Gloves cover their fingers but I doubt it's enough to stave off the chill. Soon enough, gloves and hats will have to be thicker to keep the children warm instead of the warmth from running to keep warm. _Click, click, click._

It's harder to tell who each child is on the playground. Heavier jackets with hats and gloves keep them warm as they climb on the metal framed playground only to sit on cold plastic to slide to the ground. Tuffs of hair sticking out from under the hats are my only clue. _Click, click, click_.

Ice coolers and grills are now replaced by thermoses of hot liquid and a whole day at the park is replaced by an hour before a person or group wanders from the park seeking the warmth of their homes. _Click, click, click_.

The constant chatter of squirrels and birds is slowly being replaced with silence for the oncoming season. The squirrels are busy storing food, and the birds that don't stay year round gather in flocks and float on the air down the coast line, further and further away until they reach their winter homes. _Click, click, click_.

The landscape has is changing and you can almost see children bundled up in snow pants and jackets pulling sleds up the hill to where I sit, ready to fly down it to the fields below. I can almost hear their screams and laugh as I watch. It will come sooner than I want it to.

I can see that life at the park is starting to go on and causing me to look at my own life. Even though an awful thing has happened here not that long ago people, especially children, don't let it control their lives. As the almost tragedy moves further and further into the past, life returns.

To have the joy of living return to my life like what I see through the lens of my camera, would be a dream come true. I'm not that much older than some of the children that come to the park. Had the child-like innocence I had a few years ago been replaced by fear because of what happened to Charlie or is it hiding below the surface?

Am I jealous that it is so easy, or looks so easy, for children to move beyond something tragic? Or is that a product of growing up? Do I have to be a product of growing up? Is the joy of living the cost of becoming an adult? Maybe it's a decision that you have to make at some point in your life, to hold onto innocence. Can I...Do I...Should I try to make that decision?

Have I become, or have I chosen to become jaded at twenty-five years old?

I sit back in my seat, looking at the life surrounding me with a heavy sigh.

I have to admit, it's more than my father being shot that's made me so jaded. It's more than trusting someone with my heart who's untrustworthy, who finished knocking me off the cliff when I was on wobbly legs.

Yes, the thing with my father definitely tossed my world for a loop, but I hadn't completely retreated into myself until Mike left me with a broken heart for someone else.

Yes, I'm upset about my dad. I was afraid he was going to die, but he didn't. But did I still have faith? That's a hell of a question. Yes. If I hadn't had faith then, I would have given up when his heart stopped beating, but I didn't. I would have never recovered from Mike, and I wouldn't be sitting here right now, if I didn't.

How was I after Mike left me for another woman? I was hurt and wounded. What hurt the most, I guess, was the fact that I no longer had my dad to talk to. I was the parent now and he was the child and once he recovered, he wasn't the same. He doesn't remember me.

If those two events hadn't happened so close together, would I be in the same place I am now? If they had happened in reverse order, would I be in the same place now? I'll never know_._

I look back through the lens towards the playground. It's the only place where people currently are. I've been so deep in thought about everything that I didn't notice the change-over of people in the park.

School must have let out because the playground is full. I've never been here during the week so I really don't know what to expect. But I can't take my eyes off the children. I can hear their laughter from where I sit.

The sound is sweet and innocent. It pulls at me and makes me focus. _Click, click, click._ I let my deep thoughts leave as I watch the children play. I focus on their interaction. I watch as they chase and play. I watch until my lens freezes on a pair of blue eyes. Even though I can't see her hair, I don't have to, because I recognize Alice's petite face.

_God I love telescopic lenses_.

She's is standing above the slide with a distant look on her face. Time doesn't seem to mean anything as I watch. Just as I'm beginning to become concerned, her eyes change again and seem to focus in my direction or more accurately on me.

She blinks and then smiles. It's not a big smile and I have no idea what it means.

The hair on the back of my neck tingles._ Click, click click_.

Did she just wave at me?

The competitive, energetic, bigger in life than size woman has been captured by my camera again. Another side of Alice Cullen-it's as if she knows I'm here.

Between the tingling sensation on my neck and the possibility that Alice knows I'm here, I'm kind of freaked out.

* * *

**I've been so focused on revising chapters to keep a regular posting schedule that I don't have any rec's right now for everyone. I'm sorry but I thought you guys would appreciate regular updates. So until I get a bit further ahead with revisions. If i see something that strikes my fancy I'll share it then. Ok. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and decide to share some love by reviewing. click click click. lol**


	22. 22: By Special Request

**Welcome back everyone. Finally got to sit down for a few minutes to make corrections. Thank you for your awsomeness batgirl and storypainter for being the talented Beta's you are. I want to thank pixiebella and aiden for prereading. Thank you readings for pimping out this story.**

**I'm sorry that I haven't been able to add rec's at the end but hopefully I'll be able to add more in the future now that school is back in session, but don't hold your breath. I haven't had time to read any of my alerts uhg. **

**I am curious as to what everyone thinks might happen in the future or what characters might be thinking...it could make for some very interesting outtakes later on/or special interviews. Now that I am done babbling please feel free to continue reading. I'm hoping to be able to keep monday or tuesdays as my update dates unless I have a great day and my betas don't kill me lol. **

**Kezz you will definately see the end of the story but be forwards it aint over yet lol. Random I can definately imagine the tension in the room. yummy lol.**

**Welcome to the group Nerdette hope your still around now that we are at chapter 22. 23 is with the betas. Keep fingers crossed.**

* * *

CHAPTER 22: By Special Request

Tuesday morning all I really want to do is pull the covers back over my head and pretend like the sun isn't going to rise, but it's impossible. I poke my face and then my chin above the covers, determined to face the day. I'm still tense after yesterday's meeting, so I will play today by ear.

A shower, a piece of toast, and two cups of coffee later, I'm ready to get the show on the road. I wonder how the next two days with Charlie will play out. Worst case scenario, I'll tell him what's going on, should the opportunity arise; best case scenario, it will go away and just be a vague nightmare.

"Morning Ang, how are you?" Angela has a weird look on her face that I can't explain and I wonder if she is okay.

"Morning, Bella. I'm good. I had a great three days off," she says not looking at me directly and her cheeks turn a little pink. _Something is amiss_.

"Oh you did, did you? And what brings such lovely color to your cheeks?" It has to be something because her face turns an even darker shade of red.

"Yes, I did. Ben and I..." Ang doesn't finish the sentence and hides her face back in her hands which intrigues me.

Oh really, now…. Angela's hiding her face in her hands and refuses to look up at me, but then I see it. A ring placed on the ring finger of her left hand.

"Angela! Why are you turning so red? That is awesome. I'm so happy for you." And I am happy for Angela. She deserves a decent guy.

"It's all your fault. You know." She finally releases her face and looks up at me over the desk. I have to laugh because Angela looks so embarrassed.

"Well, if you hadn't invited Ben to come here and talk to that doctor when you were on the skilled floor... It's all… your fault," she teases.

"Congratulations, Angela. Was it everything you hoped for?" I ask and she nods. Angela might be acting embarrassed, and I'm sure she is to a point, but I also know that Angela has always wanted to find Mr. Right and get married. Well, shit, another single friend bites the dust.

"I'm glad for you, Angela. I'm going down to see how Charlie is before shift. I'll be back in a few." At least Ben will treat Angela right. Why hadn't I introduced them earlier?

"Morning, Charlie!" I say after a light knock on the door. Charlie has his back to me, looking out the window while sitting in his chair. All he offers me in way of greeting is a grunt.

"How are you this morning, Charlie?" I reach out to touch his shoulder but he pulls away from me.

"Don't touch me!" he barks.

I close my eyes because this is a definite sign of how the day is going to go. When I open my eyes after a short second, I brace myself for his mood swings. I can tell Charlie is going to have a long day, or he's already had a long night. The telephone is sitting in his lap.

"Okay, Charlie." I pull my hand back. "How are you feeling this morning?" I have to get my head into work mode. It's the only way I know how to deal with Charlie when he's like this. I know it really isn't about me so I deal with it.

"None of your damn business. Leave me alone." I'm so glad I have memories of how my dad was before all this crap happened.

"Who are you trying to call? Maybe I can help," I offer trying to lighten the mood but when Charlie glares at me, I know I've headed in the wrong direction.

"I said leave me alone!" Charlie drags out each word so that I get his point, then he places the phone on the nightstand before getting up and struggling over to his bed.

I leave the room, hoping with my whole heart that today is not going to be one of Charlie's bad days. I hope but I don't expect it.

Why can't today be Wednesday? Maybe then Mr. Jenks could see what he's really getting into. There is nothing like meeting Charlie on a bad day. I'm glad that it isn't just me that gets to see this side of Charlie.

I'm told Charlie doesn't go to breakfast and I guess he doesn't eat what's brought to his room, so I know as I approach his room that his mood is going to last most of the day. He is always cranky when he doesn't eat. I'll have to check and make sure he eats dinner.

"Charlie," I call as I enter his room. I'm find Charlie lying on his bed. What interests me though, is that his back is turned towards the door and that's not how he usually lays in bed. I'm shocked when I notice the phone pulled from the jack laying on the opposite side of the room. The phone lies broken behind the door. If I hadn't seen his body stiffen slightly I would have thought he was asleep.

"Charlie, it's almost lunch time. Do you want to eat in the dining room or do you want me to bring you your lunch?" I already know he's awake. Tears well in my eyes when Charlie finally answers. I know this is hard on him. My dad is a proud man, even now. He shoulders shake just a bit but I hear his heartbreak in his tone.

"I want to eat at home. I want to sit at the kitchen table and watch my wife cook my lunch. I want to feed my baby girl before I go to work." I have to figure out a way to distract him before he goes further down this dark path. It's always ugly if Charlie stays in this type of depressed mood for too long.

"I'll tell you what, Charlie. I'll bring both of us lunch and you and I can eat together and we can pretend we're eating in your kitchen. You can tell me all about your kitchen, and I can tell you some news that I have." Charlie doesn't respond. He doesn't move, but I know he hears me.

When I return with our lunch, Charlie has placed a pillow case over his table like a table cloth but is still sitting with his back turned towards the door. I hope he wants company for lunch because he's getting it whether he wants it or not. This is an opportunity to give him a warming about tomorrow that may or may not help his mood today.

I am his daughter and I have to be straight up with him about what's happening. Mr. Jenks and a court appointed head doctor will be in here tomorrow asking him to participate in a line up at the police station. Tomorrow might also upset the delicate balance of my life as well.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

"Morning, Charlie. Do you remember yesterday, when I told you that some men were going to come by and talk to you about when you were shot?" Charlie has been awake since I came on shift but he won't talk to me. I have no doubt that today is going to be tough on him.

Mr. Jenks and a Mr. Rossi are in the office with Mrs. Jane by eight am. This morning and finally emerge at eight forty five. Mrs. Jane just glares at me as she instructs me to escort Mr. Jenks and Mr. Rossi to Charlie's room. She also lets me know that once they are together she wants to see me in her office, immediately.

Mr. Jenks informs Jane that I will be available shortly and I will be in the room with Charlie until further notice. I think that pisses Jane off even more. She huffs herself back to her office and closes the door a little louder than normal. Mr. Jenks thrusts his hand and arm forward, gesturing for me to proceed. They follow me down the hall until I knock on the door and then enter the room.

"Charlie?" I touch his shoulder and he pulls away. I go on with introductions anyway. "This is Mr. Jenks and Mr. Rossi. They are from the District Attorney's office. Mr. Jenks is the DA." I gesture for the men to sit and I step back, leaning against the wall next to the door. It's been requested that I let them do all the talking. _This should be interesting_.

Mr. Jenks starts first, acting as if Charlie is still chief of police and Charlie appears not to react at all. It's as if nobody is even here, but I can tell by his posture that Charlie's listening.

"Mr. Swan, I'm Mr. Jenks, the DA. This is Mr. Rossi," he begins. Mr. Rossi has red wavy hair and thin framed glasses and after this is all said and done I hope that's all I remember about him.

Mr. Jenks goes into the same wordy spiel he gave me at his office, except now, there are no threats of what will happen if Charlie doesn't cooperate.

Charlie doesn't seem to react at all. Mr. Jenks continues talking to a wall. Charlie just sits there, looking out the window, playing his role perfectly. I wonder what Charlie see's outside because there's no life outside of window. Everything has turned brown and leaves litter the ground.

"Chief Swan, I'm Dr. Rossi. I know this is probably a very uncomfortable situation for you. I don't know how I would handle this situation if I were in your shoes. All I can really say is that Mr. Jenks here really needs your help. We don't know anyone else that can help. You're the last shot we have to make this case."

Dr. Rossi's soft spoken manner is typical and, at first, I think he's going to act like the normal head doctor but as soon as he called Charlie, Chief, I know he's different. He doesn't pretend to know what is going on in Charlie's head and he doesn't pretend to know how to fix everything. His posture and attitude tell me he's acting on Charlie's behalf, not just trying to get him to do the DA's bidding. Charlie actually looks at Mr. Rossi. Mr. Rossi is on the old Swan shit-o-meter as Charlie looks him over to make a decision whether to talk to him or not.

I have to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. Many a boy in Forks was on the receiving end of that look and most never made it through the front door.

I remember being on the other end of that look, once, growing up. I ditched on Senior Ditch Day and he confronted me about it. I never gave up the truth but Charlie knew. Even with his memories so screwed up he was still the Chief.

"Get this asshole out of my room," Charlie says with malice and I wonder how long it will take for this situation to get out of hand. Mr. Rossi drops his head and then leans forward to stand.

"Not you! I said this asshole," he says pointing at Mr. Jenks. I just roll my eyes. Mr. Jenks starts to protest but Charlie cuts him off.

"OUT!" Charlie yells in frustration leaving no room for debate. Mr. Rossi places his hand on Mr. Jenks shoulder and nods, giving him permission to leave.

I think it's kind of weird that my dad throws out the DA and not the doctor. Charlie hates doctors and it's only gotten worse since the shooting. When he begged them to fix his head and they couldn't.

"That goes for You as well!" Charlie adds as Mr. Jenks walks out the door into the hall way. At first I think he's telling the doctor to get out but to my surprise it's me he's talking to, not Dr. Rossi.

When Dr. Rossi tries to intercede, Charlie just looks out the window, mentally and physically cutting him off. Dr. Rossi looks at me questionably. I shrug my shoulders not knowing what to do or how to handle the situation.

"I hope you know what you're doing," I say to Dr. Rossi, following Mr. Jenks into the hallway.

Mr. Jenks paces the hallway, running his hands through his hair at his temples. I watch as the salt and pepper of his hair changes from light to dark and back again. He's so tense that it makes me wonder what his deal is.

"How much do you have riding on this case, Mr. Jenks?" I ask, unable to stop the question. I act as natural as possible, keeping my back against the wall.

"Everything, nothing, more than I should and not enough!"

Can he be any more vague?

"You seem to be keeping everything close to the vest, Mr. Jenks. Why is that?"

"You really want to know?" He stops in his tracks and looks at me. "Does it really matter?"

"I guess not and probably not," I state nonchalantly. Do I really want to know? Hell yes, I want to know. This doesn't just affect Charlie but me as well.

"It's my last case and it has to make a difference." He follows my lead and leans up against the wall next to me. I don't look at him even though he sounds sincere.

"I have … after this case is finished, I'm leaving the DA's office. I just want this one to make a difference. So that the families involved have some closure. So my family has something to hold on to, if things don't work out," he says cryptically.

When I finally look at him, he doesn't look at me. He looks in the opposite direction. I let my arms fall to my sides away from chest where they had been tightly crossed. It feels like Mr. Jenks just admitted something without saying it. I ponder his wording "if things don't work out."

I wonder how long Dr. Rossi is going to stay before Charlie throws him out. I wonder what's being said and if Charlie is being threatened like I was on Monday. No, that won't happen. That might be the fastest way to start World War III.

"There's no yelling yet, so that's a good sign," I say to break the silence. It's a statement of fact. "I think I should go and check in with Mrs. Jane. It should only take a few minutes." Mr. Jenks just nods.

I know that a meeting requested by Jane is not a good thing. I put away the trepidation that I have as I enter her office.

"Nurse Swan, if Mr. Swan agrees to go with the DA to the police station you are going to need to go with him as his legal guardian. You will need to clock out before you leave. I will not pay for you to escort him to the police station because it would be a conflict of interest. I've already called someone in to cover for you just in case. I will also need to see you first thing in the morning before you clock in. That will be all." She doesn't even looks up from her desk to eyeball me like she usually does when someone asks for something or she needs something.

"Yes, ma'am." What else can I say? She's right. It is a conflict of interest. I give her the respect due her position and close the door behind me as I leave and return to my spot next to Charlie's door. I was right to assume it won't take long with Jane.

About fifteen minutes later, Dr. Rossi steps from the door and gives us a thumbs up. I let the men talk in the hall while I check on Charlie.

"Hey, Charlie, how are you doing?" I ask while Charlie buttons up a fresh shirt and puts on his shoes.

"Got to go to work! Tell my daughter and wife I'm needed down at the station." Charlie thinks he is on duty. "I'll try to call them from the station later on. There's been a shooting just outside of town." Charlie grabs his jacket from his closet. "Can you help me put this on? My left side is kind of stiff tonight." Charlie doesn't realize it's nine-thirty in the morning or that I am his daughter and will be coming along.

* * *

**I really love sticking it to Bella. I don't know why but I do. lol. Likes and dislikes anyone?**


	23. 23: For his Daughter

**a/n he everyone. This one is going to post without alot of chatter. hi to everyone if i missed you. The next chapter will be about 2 weeks from now. Having alot going on right now, hope everyone forgives me. hope everyone is getting the time line for the story. Cant remember if i mentioned that last time or not.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 23: For his Daughter**

I help Charlie as he struggles with the steps at the police station. Charlie tenses, standing up straighter, as we enter. It's loud and people move around without looking at us. When Charlie stumbles, I take a protective stance between him and the people moving around, working.

It's not until I get bumped around that anyone pays attention. A large man in uniform keeps me upright while he apologizes for not paying attention. Everyone in the room seems pretty stressed. I can see Charlie's posture change as we get further into the police station. It makes it hard for him to follow Mr. Jenks and Mr. Rossi.

"Charlie, relax. Everything's fine," I try to reassure him. Nothing is fine about this situation.

I tell the uniformed officer that we're fine and he quickly moves along. I'm not sure we are fine and you can hear the uncertainty in my voice.

I recognize Officer McCarty as he walks by, stopping to look at us questioningly. He's looking between Charlie and I, confused, reminding me of a deer caught in a headlight, before quickly moving on though I don't know why. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

I notice as people start to stare. We're led to a room by some detective. Mr. Jenks and Dr. Rossi shelter us from the people around us as we follow.

It's an interrogation room. I remember doing homework in one back in Forks. One wall has a large glass window.

Looking at the far wall on the other side of the glass, I see painted lines across it working their way up to the ceiling. The lines are measured out to show someone's height.

Focusing on the room we're in, I lead Charlie to the table that sits in the middle surrounded with four chairs. A video camera is in the corner sitting on a tripod, surrounded by a metal cage, a plate of glass mounted in front of the lens. The desk is metal and cemented into the floor; the chairs are covered with a gray fabric. It makes me feel claustrophobic and I wonder how Charlie is dealing with this.

Charlie and I sit on one side of the table while Mr. Jenks and Dr. Rossi sit on the other. I feel like I'm here for interrogation. I'm not far off. I notice when a light on the camera glows green and wonder if anyone is watching. Mr. Jenks starts with some basic legal questions for Charlie after explaining what's happening. He's being videotaped for future reference.

"Mr. Swan, do you understand your condition that resulted from you being shot in the line of duty?" Dr. Rossi asks after letting Mr. Jenks ask all the legal questions.

"Yes. No. Sometimes," Charlie answers dutifully.

"What do you understand about your condition, Chief Swan?" Charlie is lucid and I wonder how long it will last. Dr. Rossi takes over the conversation.

"I understand that my brain doesn't work right all the time. I understand the way my body doesn't work all the time. I understand that I get headaches and I get confused...but it's all in here," Charlie explains, tapping his temple.

The questions drone on and range from what he understands to what he doesn't understand. Some questions are personal and some are professional. Some questions are answered, while Charlie either can't or won't answer others. I sit silently, watching Charlie become more and more frustrated as the length of the interview drowns on. Once Dr. Rossi is done with his questions, Mr. Jenks continues with more and I pay closer attention this time. I haven't trusted him from the start. I don't like having guilt used against me. I have enough of it on my own and I'm not going to let him put that on Charlie.

"Mr. Swan, do you know who this person is?" Mr. Jenks asks, placing a picture in front of Charlie. I'm surprised when I see it's a picture of my mom and me standing on the porch the first day of school. Where did he get that picture?

"My wife, Renee."

"And, Mr. Swan, who is this?" Mr. Jenks continues, pointing at the little girl wearing a blue and green dress. The top is crocheted and the bottom is made of fabric my grandmother found. She made that dress especially for me for my first day of kindergarten. Charlie doesn't answer and my heart drops an inch in my chest.

"Chief Swan, do you know who the child in the picture is?" Dr. Rossi asks, stepping in. He knows how to get my father to focus.

"I don't know. Probably some kid my wife babysat for." Charlie doesn't look at the picture again.

Dr. Rossi asks the same question using more pictures. They're newer pictures and I'm not sure I want to know how they got them. Charlie recognizes some people in one set of pictures but not in the newer ones and vice versa. All the pictures are at least three years old.

After more than thirty minutes of questioning Dr. Rossi turns and addresses the camera.

"My name is Dr. Rossi. I am a clinical Physiologist working with the DA's office in a professional capacity. I was asked by Mr. Jenks to evaluate Mr. Charlie Swan, Chief of Police for the city of Forks, Washington, retired. He was injured while on duty, resulting in a mental condition that takes his memories, past and current time lines and mixes them up. This condition does affect his ability to do his job and to function in mainstream society. But I do believe, and in my professional opinion, his ability to identify a suspect involved in said shooting is within his capability." I notice when the camera light turns off.

"Charlie, you don't have to…" I start but Charlie cuts me off. His voice is quiet. He concentrates, trying to stay focused.

"It's the right thing to do. How could I look at my daughter and tell her I didn't try?" He doesn't look at me. How can I fight that?

Mr. Rossi brings us coffee while we wait. They're getting suspects together for a line up. I'm getting worried. How much longer can Charlie take the pressure? How has he managed it this long?

That's a lie, I do know how he's managed this long. Charlie always said, _doing the right thing isn't always easy_. He's drawing strength from his daughter to get through this. He said it himself.

When the time for the lineup finally arrives, Charlie is a nervous wreck. He's barely holding on to his sanity. His posture is rigid and his shoulders are tense.

Dr. Rossi asks me how I'm holding up. I just look at him like he's an idiot. The rebellious side of me wants to flip him the bird, but I don't.

I'm not allowed to be with Charlie while he identifies his shooter. I try to argue with Mr. Jenks and Mr. Rossi. I try to let them know they don't know what they're getting into but it doesn't matter.

Mr. Jenks explains that my dad's testimony is going to be hard enough with his disability and it will be better if he's able to do this on his own without 'his daughter holding his hand'. His words even included 'more credible' and then I'm lead to another room to wait.

I pace the room, waiting. I can't see the suspects as they are lead into the room for the line up or when they are leaving. I chew my nails to the quick as I worry. Charlie has been strong all morning. I pray it lasts.

It isn't until I see uniforms rush into the room where Charlie is, that I panic. I almost break through the glass trying to get to him. I hear him screaming as soon as I enter the hall and by the time I get to Charlie he's being held to the ground by police officers.

"That son of a bitch said my family was next! He stood over me long enough to tell me what he was going to do to my wife and daughter. He took my wallet. He knew where we lived. I'm going to kill that son of a bitch!"

Charlie struggles against the men holding him down. I don't hear anymore of what's said because I'm screaming louder at the men holding him down, begging them not to hurt Charlie.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Later that night, I have to laugh about it. It's my only choice. Not really laugh because the situation is unbelievable. What I really laugh about is the fact that it took five police officers to hold Charlie down while Dr. Rossi injected Charlie with a sedative.

Charlie had identified his shooter and Mr. Jenks was ecstatic, Dr. Rossi was concerned, and I was scared. How much is Charlie expected to endure?

At least Dr. Rossi was smarter than I gave him credit for. He was smart enough to bring a sedative. I cried as I watched Charlie's form go limp under the strength of the sedative.

The officers' apologie to me and let me know that their intentions were never to hurt my father. He was one of them. They wished they could have let him get away with shooting the monster he had identified.

Officer Emmett McCarty was the only one that didn't apologize. I know he was sorry but he couldn't bring himself to speak. His eyes were full of tears. The shooting of a police officer was hard on all of them. Charlie identified the man that had shot Dr. Cullen, and Emmett was related making it more personal to him than the rest.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

Thursday morning I'm in Jane's office as requested. Charlie was admitted to the hospital yesterday. It was a rough evening and I hope it doesn't get any rougher when I'm finished speaking with her.

"Mrs. Swan, the administration feels that this facility is no longer the right fit for your father. Over the past six months, he has become more agitated, his outbursts are more frequent, his violent nature has become more than this facility feels it can deal with. I'm sorry but Mr. Charlie Swan cannot return to this facility."

"Jane, you can't be serious?" I ask disbelievingly in a futile attempt to try and convince her differently. Her mind is already made up, but Jane isn't finished yet.

"Ms. Swan, this is for the best. Charlie needs to be in a facility that can help him. He needs more than just a long term facility. He is a danger to himself and to others and, from what I hear, yesterday stands to prove that fact." Before I can even take a breath and open my mouth to argue, she continues.

"Now, Ms. Swan, I know that things are hard right now and I do feel for your circumstances. It has been approved that you will be compensated for the rest of your scheduled shifts at the normal pay but your services are no longer needed at this facility. I'll give you an hour to collect yours and your father's things. At the end of the hour, I expect you to be off the property." She dismisses me from her presence as she hands me a sealed envelope. It's my final check for services rendered. I've been fired.

I am too shocked to even argue or put up a fight. I leave her office and quietly collect Charlie's clothes and place them in a garbage bag. I fill my car to capacity with his walkers, braces, and other personal effects. One of the men from maintenance comes to help me with Charlie's recliner and we use some rope he had to tie down the trunk of my car down and lock it into place.

Everyone who is there is just as shocked as I am as I make my final trip out the door. I don't look back. I know if I do my world will break apart. I don't know what I am going to do now. I have a lot to figure out and not much time to do it.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

"Dr. Rossi's office. How may I help you?" The words sound strange coming from a man because his receptionist is a woman.

"Yes, this is Bella Swan, and I would like to know if Dr. Rossi is available?" I don't know what else to do. I have to figure out how to deal with Charlie. After a few moments on hold, the man's voice returns.

"If you will hold one moment I will transfer you," the man says. Sure, I don't have anything better to do right now. I can't really bring him to the apartment, or can I? At least until I find another facility for him to live.

"Ms. Swan, how can I help you today?" Dr. Rossi answers using the same tone as yesterday. Concerned, yet distant; not fake.

I explain that Charlie isn't being allowed back at the facility. He doesn't say much at first but by the end of the conversation he assures me that he can keep Charlie at the hospital under observation for a short time, maybe a week, while I figure everything else out.

I need someone to talk to, so I call Billy. I need someone to tell me what to do. I miss my dad and Billy is the next best thing. We talk for almost two hours but he won't tell me what to do. He only gives me advice.

Billy thinks the whole situation is hilarious. Charlie has been thrown out of a long term care facility because, in spite of his disability, he stood up for what was right.

"That is so Charlie," he states.

After I share with Billy how it took five officers to hold Charlie down, I don't know if I should hang up and call nine-one-one. Billy is laughing so hard he can hardly breathe.

"You should have known him when we were in high school. The fact that it took five officers to hold him down doesn't surprise me. It took half the football team to hold him back when the quarterback kissed your mom."

It does surprise Billy, however, when I tell him what Charlie was yelling before they sedated him and how scared I really am.

Billy offers to come to Seattle for a visit and assures me the offer is open anytime, after I refuse. He says I truly am my father's daughter before we end the conversation.

I still don't know what to do but I feel better after talking to Billy. He was pretty pissed about me getting fired, though.

"Something just isn't right about this, Bella. There is something seriously wrong with this Jane woman if she felt she had to fire you too. But mark my words, everything will work out for the best in the end. I love you, girl, and call me anytime. Day or night."

After the phone call with Billy, I put everything on the back burner for the rest of the day. It's just after two pm. I have to clear my head and the best way to do that is with my camera. It's my coping mechanism and today is as good day as any to use it. The thought of Charlie being in the hospital is too much and too close to home.

~~~~~TTL~~~~~

The rest of the day is going to be different. Instead of heading to the park first, I change course and head to the Java Joint to grab something hot to drink.

I pull up in front of Java's ready to get their famous Amaretto Hot Chocolate and a Cheese Danish. You can't have one without the other. It's against some kind of coffee house etiquette or something.

I glanced inside before getting out of my car and can't bring myself to continue. I forgot that this is a local spot for people that work at the hospital. I sit myself back further into my seat and close the door. I grab my camera because I can't resist.

He's talking on his phone, tearing something up in front of him as he talks. I can't tell what it is. I watch as he flicks his fingers towards a plate. His head is bent slightly, partially hiding his face. But every so often he lifts his head enough for me to see his smile.

Who is he talking to? Is it his father, mother, sister, brother, wife or lover? It doesn't really matter because Dr. Edward Cullen is a man no woman can help but turn her head and look at. She could be eighty years old and would still have to look. He's not model material or anything like that, but he is worth a second glance.

I bring my camera up and watch.

_Click click click_.

He slides his phone back into his pocket and leans on the table with his elbows, holding the coffee just below his lips. He stares out the window not following the passer byes as they float in and out of view. He looks contemplative.

I have to take a picture as he stands. His arm stretches out, placing something on the table before he turns and puts on his jacket. _Click, click, click_.

My fingers keep at the action as he walks out the door and as he pulls the collar of his jacket up tighter around his neck, and then as he turns and walks back towards the hospital, giving me a great view of his backside.

It isn't until he's out of sight that I remember why I'm here. I put away my camera and grab my wallet.

Now with my hot chocolate and Danish in hand, I head off to my original destination, the cemetery.

Slowly, I drive down the dirt path leading to an older section of the property. Stones rise from the ground, perfectly lined up, showing names, ages, and dates. I walk among the granite reminders of lives that are gone. It's evident that no one visits; I let my thoughts disappear.

I concentrate on the shape and size of each stone. I can see my own words written there instead of what actually is. I take pictures of each headstone in the row.

When I'm done I already know what I 'm going to do. I hope it will be as liberating when I'm finished as it feels in my head.

I get home just after six p.m. After fixing dinner, I turn on the computer and get to work.

I blur out the names and dates on each headstone and, with a different font, I type a word into the center of each stone. Each photo represents a characteristic that doesn't need to live in my life, and as I type each word, I put it to death, giving it today's date.

Each stone will be a reminder that:

FEAR, HURT, PAIN, RESENTMENT, GUILT, LONELINESS, DEFEAT, ANGER, ANGST, DISHONOR, LIES, DOUBT, INCAPABLE, INSECURITY, REGRET, REJECTION, HATE, MURDER, INDIFFERENCE, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, CRUELTY, FRUSTRATION and PARANOIA, are all destructive. Each one leads to death, and I've been living right next door to them.

I place an order with the book company. It's been months since I have done this, and it excites me and makes me feel lighter. I can already see each page of the book in my head.

I even take the time to give my computer a new picture for the background. Dr. Edward Cullen. I could look into those eyes everyday for the rest of my life.

* * *

**Share the love. Read and Review**


	24. 24: Down but not Out

Sorry for the late update everyone. I lost the chapter somewhere in my computer and today it decided to show up. I apologize in advance if the time line seems sporadic. I'm not going to write about every time A character goes to the bathroom. Lol. I'm working on things from EPOV. He wants his story told so were working on it. But its going to be awhile lol. Others have things to say and eventually they will have their say but until then...

Share the love and the story.

* * *

**Chapter 24: Down but not Out**

**After spending about ten minutes with the zombie that is Charlie, I've seen enough. I grab my cell and hunt Dr Rossi down. I'm beyond livid with Charlie's state of being. If I could get away with murdering both Dr. Rossi and Mr. Jenks, I might seriously consider it. I've seen patients in this condition before and I'm not putting up with it. Charlie has definitely been over-medicated.**

**When I finally manage to talk to Dr. Rossi, he assures me that he didn't order any sedatives for Charlie. Now that he's become aware of Charlie's medicated state, he's assured that nothing but what he personally prescribes will be given to Charlie.**

**At the hospital, t****he doctor on duty prescribed the medication because Charlie refused to calm down after being admitted and has been uncooperative. Actually, Charlie could be like before his accident and you would have to have been there from the beginning to know that, so I can't stay angry long.**

**I do, however, let Dr. Rossi and the hospital know that if they give him anymore medication without my permission, I will file a complaint. Charlie will be the least of their worries. I have a few days left to find a place for Charlie to stay but, after this episode, he will be coming home with me even if it's not the wisest decision I've ever made.**

**Dr. Rossi hands me a referral to an assisted living facility outside of Seattle and offers to call them on my behalf to help. I'll take all the help I can get right now. After about ten minutes and a dozen question answered, I make arrangements to visit them on Wednesday.**

**From Dr. Rossi's description, the facility used to be an old farm house that's been converted into a long-term/residential care facility. I can't say that I like the thought of putting my father into another home, but right now I don't have the luxury of having options.**

**Wednesday arrives and I'm dubious as I pull up at the facility. There's a chain link fence surrounding the property with a guard at the gate which gives off a prison atmosphere. Once I'm past the gate and through a line of trees, I see accommodations that look like a retirement community instead of a prison or institution, and I sigh in relief at this sight.**

**I'm glad I remembered to bring my camera along because as I'm shown around the facility, I'm able to take pictures as long as I don't take pictures of residents that occupy the place. **

**The central dining room is impressive looking; it's like a steak house instead of a cafeteria. The living areas have a living room, bedroom, and a small bathroom.**

**I'm really impressed overall by the facility, and although currently nothing is available, I chance it and put my dad's name on a waiting list. No matter what happens now, eventually Charlie will be here. The facility even has a sliding scale for low income families. I finish the application and thank everyone for taking time to show me around.****  
**

**I split my time on Thursday and Friday between job hunting and finding a place for Charlie. I also take a few hours to apply for unemployment benefits now that my services are no longer required at my former job.**

**I've spent a few hours every day since Wednesday with Charlie, watching as he slowly makes his way out of the lethargic state he's been in but there's something different behind his eyes. I can't put my finger on what it is exactly that's different, just that something has changed. He isn't his normal self at all. He's quiet and reserved: dare I say, defeated?**

**I can't bear to see him like this a moment longer, so I'm left with no other option but to take Charlie out of here.**** I tell Charlie what my plans are, and he doesn't argue when I tell him he's coming home with me until we can find him a new home. He doesn't comment on how small my apartment is after we arrive. In fact, Charlie doesn't do much, other than grunt. It isn't until we are sitting down at the small kitchen table for dinner that I break the silence.**

**"Charlie, what's wrong? You're so quiet tonight," I ask, taking a good look at him. His eyes are dark and lifeless. Charlie is not okay and I don't know if I can help or not. Laying his fork down next to his plate, he answers my question but doesn't make eye contact with me.**

**"Nothing's wrong… nothing's right either. I hate my brain like this. I...Something is wrong but I don't know what it is. I hate being like this." Charlie runs his a hand up and down his body making his point obvious as he speaks.**

**"This is not living...it's not even existing. Can I go to my room now?"**

**During the next week, Charlie's mood doesn't improve; in fact, he's become more disconnected and brooding. I'm sure being at the police station affected him to some level but I'm at a loss to its depth. He's dwelling on his mental and physical condition. His eyes get darker and he speaks less and less as the week dwindles. I don't know what to do or how to help him. My frustration is equal to his growing silence. I'm learning why someone could smash all of their possessions in a matter of minutes because that's what I want to do. I want to break every glass, plate, and breakable in my apartment, knowing in the long run it won't help.**

**I knew having Charlie at home with me was going to be hard. He is naturally an independent person and I know in his confused state of mind having to rely on strangers is hard for him. Somehow, I'm sure if he could have put words to it, he would have called it emasculating. I wish my thoughts hadn't gone there because the longer I dwell on it the more it affects my mood.**

**Right now, the only good thing going on is the fact that I'm out of work. I can be here to make sure everything's fine. When I do leave the apartment, it's to turn in applications and I take Charlie with me. I even take him to the grocery store, hoping it will help pull him out of his bad mood. But nothing works.**

**Thursday, Charlie is despondent at best. He doesn't eat breakfast or lunch. When I go into the bedroom to tell him dinner is ready, I find him crying at the foot of the bed. It breaks my heart as I try to calm him but he just pushes me away.**

**"Charlie, everything is going to be okay. We can figure this out together… just tell me what to do!" I'm at a loss about how to help him. Parents are suppose to have all the answers, not the kids. The answers are somewhere in Charlie's head and I don't know how to get to them. Dad always knew what to do. He always had a band-aid in his pocket, mine are empty.**

**The living arrangements aren't helping. Things are getting worse. Charlie is getting worse. I have to find a place that is not with me, for Charlie's benefit and my well-being.**

**"It's not going to be okay! We are not going to figure this out! The only ones I should be figuring this out with is Renee and my daughter and neither of them have called me or come by to visit. I don't know what I did to drive them away. Why they won't let me come home? They don't want me anymore. They're ashamed of me. I didn't protect them the way I should but I don't know what I did wrong."**

**Tears well up in my eyes. I'm too close to this situation to take care of Charlie, and I don't see that until I make my next mistake. The filter on my mouth breaks as the tears fall down my face.**

**"Charlie, Renee is dead and has been for years. I'm your daughter and I'm doing everything I can. I'm your daughter, Charlie, and I'm so proud of you."**

**With anger and me in its path, Charlie feels something now. When I see the change in Charlie's features, I know I've crossed an invisible line, and my only thought is getting out of this room. I don't hear a word Charlie says as I fight my way out and lock the door behind me.**

**I call the only person that seemed to be able to help; Dr. Rossi. Somebody's must be on my side because he's still in his office and answers the phone. While Dr. Rossi is on his way, I calm down some but now I have to listen to the hurtful words my father says. I know he doesn't mean them but they still hurt just the same.**

"**You're not my daughter. My daughter is dead! Your nothing but a lying snake! You set me up, I didn't do anything. Your trying to take everything I have left away. Just shut up..." Charlie yells through the door. He repeats the venomous words over and over.**

**Thirty minutes later, Dr. Rossi arrives and sedates Charlie. Things are once again quiet.**

**"Ms. Swan, I'm going to make a call and see if there is something I can do. I hate to suggest that you may have to keep him sedated temporarily, until we can get him in somewhere that is better equipped for his needs. In his state of mind and yours, this is not the answer."**

**I'm defeated. I can't help my own father. He's been there for me for so many years and I can't be there for him when he needs me the most. I have to give into the fact that I'm not enough in his condition. So I agree with Dr. Rossi. The only thing I request is that he not be kept on drugs unless it's absolutely necessary.**

**"Ms. Swan, I understand your concern. I had my own concern about all of this myself. Personally, I think that this is more than a mental health issue.****With your permission, I would like to readmit him into the hospital for more testing while we are waiting to see if we can get him into another facility. I think it might be safer for all concerned." After tonight's incident, I don't have it in me to disagree.**

**We wait for the ambulance to arrive. Dr. Rossi and I continue to talk. He wants to talk to a few of his colleagues to see if he can find someone I can to talk to about these things. **

**Monday is the dawn of a new day. Dr. Rossi calls with good news-he's managed to get Charlie moved up to the front of the list at Shepard's Landing, the facility I visited earlier. **

**Now that Charlie has been admitted into the hospital, Dr. Rossi**** wants a complete battery of tests carried out on Charlie. He wants to send Charlie to a specialist and I will need to sign papers to allow that. It will allow him legal access to Charlie's medical records.**

**I don't pay attention to the papers when I sign them later in the day. Dr. Rossi believes it can't do any harm to look over everything. It almost feels like Dr. Rossi is an angel, handpicked for Charlie because it's evident I can't bear the weight anymore.**

***~0~*TTL*~0~***

**Time really hasn't meant anything lately. It's hard to believe that almost six months have gone by since that night at the park. The last holiday I vaguely recollect is Halloween, the rest...**

_**Thanksgiving was a quiet dinner spent with Charlie at Courtyard Rehab. That was before being contacted by the DA's office. I'm thankful that Charlie isn't living my nightmare, but I wonder what nightmare he is living. **_

_**At Christmas I didn't spend time shopping, except for purchasing a snow globe for Charlie. I didn't focus on the fact that it was Christmas. I just got it for Charlie because it reminded me of hiking in Forks. The only thing I wanted for Christmas is a normal life and that isn't happening any time soon.**_

_**I don't even remember New Year's because it's overshadowed by my pending meeting with the DA's office. Each day is just another day. My only concern is Charlie. **_

**Jacob has been in the house a few months now and it seems like he asked me to rent him the house only yesterday.**

**Weeks have passed since I signed papers with Dr. Rossi, and January is almost over. ****The snow is starting to melt and I can taste spring in the air. **

**Charlie has been moved to Shepard's Landing and has settled in nicely, so I've been told. I've tried to visit a few times but Charlie is still despondent and I don't want to push him. I don't want a reenactment of the last time I pushed.**

**Mr. Jenks calls to let me know that he is taking his case in front of the grand jury soon. I want to tell Mr. Jenks not to call me again. I want to blame Mr. Jenks for Charlie's current state but doing the right thing gets in the way. I tell him I will see him then.**

**Shepard's Landing calls me. It seems Charlie is starting to adjust to the facility and that he has been joining the other residents for meals at least once a day. I miss my dad and I want to make things okay for him but he still won't see me when I come by to visit. At least when he was at****The Courtyard I got to see him everyday even if it was as his nurse. I even miss being called "You". It's not until they mention that Charlie's insurance has refused to pay his residence fee of $1000 that I understand why they really call. Charlie's deposit needs to be met within the first thirty days of acceptance.**

**When I write out the check the next day, it leaves me just about broke. I'm relieved when a check from Jacob shows up the same day for sixteen-hundred dollars. After everything that has happened over the last few weeks, I forgot about renting the house out. I thank the heavens above for watching my back because I'm barely holding on.**

**On March 15****th,**** I find myself sitting in Mr. Jenks' office for a meeting. **

"**Ms. Swan, I just want to inform you that tomorrow I'm just pleading the case to the Grand Jury. Hopefully,****we will get a court date at the end of it and, if we do, then we will go from there. This case really doesn't have much to do with you." **

"**Well, until I find a new job I don't have anything better to do, so if you don't mind, I can be there."**

"**What do you mean 'a new job'?" Mr. Jenks asks, leaning against his table.**

"**After Charlie's visit to the police station, he was transported to the hospital. The next morning I was informed that neither Charlie nor I were welcome back to Courtyard," I explain quickly, slightly embarrassed.**

"**I'm sorry to hear that, Ms. Swan." Him and me both. I shrug my shoulders.**

"**Maybe things are better this way. Dr. Rossi has been awesome about the whole thing. He even helped me get Charlie into a new facility since he couldn't go back to The Courtyard."**

"**I see." I don't think he really does but I let it go. I leave feeling a little better knowing that tomorrow, even if justice isn't achieved for Charlie directly, his shooter might be facing more than attempted murder charges.**

***~0~* TTL *~0~***

**The next morning, I'm running late and by the time I get to the courthouse and find the right court room, the doors are closed.**

"**I'm sorry, miss, but court is already in session. You'll have to wait out here," The bailiff informs me as he directs me to the benches.**

**An hour later, when the doors finally open, a smiling Mr. Jenks informs me that the preliminaries for a court date have been set to start Monday. I congratulate him and make plans to be here on Monday at nine am sharp.**

* * *

Share your thoughts. Reviews are great. Share the story with a friend. I've always loved pimps lol.

I'd like to thank PTB for letting me join in a bootcamp to help write a few scenes that I just couldn't get through. It was an awesome experience.

Thank you aiden and pixie (you know how you are) for pre-reading. It's steadied my nerves about posting.

Everything has been on my TBR list that has grown to epic purpotions but I'll suggest a few stories for your reading pleasure.

Enchanted by Pixibella88 is a few chapters in. I'm curious to see where she takes it.

And you might want to check out Ancient History by Shattered glass rose. I hate this Douchward lol.


	25. 25: Choices Made

**Thank you Batgirl and Storypainter for all the effort you've put into each and every chapter of this story. Through the Lenz wouldn't be this good without you. Your comments, suggestions, and encouragement help me every time I'm ready to post. This journey would never happen without you.**

**A few quick Hello's and welcomes to those that have newly joined our Santa Muerte, MsPeaceHope, venny93, hollynn28, Ammers30, Bonnie888, DazzledByEdward88, xseifenblase, and twitchling. Where so glad you've joined us. Feel free to comment anytime.**

**Ready or not...No one is allowed to throw tomatoes at me...I'm still canning what I saved from the garden. lol I'm hiding now so you can read!**

**p.s. Love the reveiw radom...**

* * *

**Chapter 25: Choices Made**

I hate that I know more about this case than I want to. I know two of James Turner's victims personally, and I've seen pictures of others. Seeing James Turner's merciless attack on Mr. Cullen, first hand, brings new meaning to what Charlie must have suffered at James' hand. It still makes me sick when the scenes flash in my head. My imagination now plays tricks on me at night with Charlie as the main character.

The rippling affects of identifying James Turner are heartbreaking and I wonder how vivid Charlie's memories are for him. I wonder if they're as vivid to him as Dr. Cullen's attack is for me, or worse. It's getting harder and harder to distinguish what's a nightmare and what's not.

_This case isn't about Charlie or I, or the four other possible victims. It's about a robbery gone bad flipping to an attempted murder charge. _

_But why do I have a feeling something, an important piece of information, is missing?_

_Why do I feel like it's more than a robbery? _

_Why was Charlie with a man like James Turner? So what if he was chief of police? _

_The feeling is almost tangible. I can almost taste there's more to the story. It feels like something is walking the halls, hiding when you look its way. _

_What is it that everybody, including myself, seems to be missing? _

_Who is James Turner? _

_Will these questions plague me all weekend? _

_Why do I feel the need to watch this story unfold?_

_James Turner isn't being tried for shooting my father. What is it I'm not seeing?_

The questions run through my head on repeat all weekend, over and over.

8:30 , Monday morning, I'm sitting on the wall outside the courthouse under the edge of an oak tree. The leaves are starting to bud, colored a light green, covering the outlines of the trees. Spring pushes winter back, slowly making it a memory instead of reality.

I watch as Dr. Cullen and his family arrive, meeting Mr. Jenks at the top of the steps leading into the courthouse. Standing tall, Dr . Cullen holds Esme next to him surrounded by, what I can only call his children. He looks stately, healthy again, but everyone is wearing a serious look.

How can I feel like I know these people; this family? They don't know me. Maybe it's a kindred spirit thing because we have gone through the same circumstance caused by the same person.

I miss Alice's smile, the loving look of adoration from Esme, and the teasing fun loving spirit of Emmett. Jasper, as usual, is still on guard and I miss watching him play with his son. Rosalie is just Rosalie. She always seems very serious even while holding Emmett's hand.

Dr. Cullen, Emmett, Jasper, and Edward are dressed in suits. Esme wears a classic look of beige with silver jewelry and low flat heels. She doesn't leave her husband's side. Rosalie stands between Emmett and Edward sporting a black pencil skirt with a white blouse, a black vest, and two inch heels. She looks even more beautiful than the last time I had saw her.

Jasper's brown suit is paired with a dark blue shirt and some tie that mixes the two colors. I'm too far away to make out the design.

Alice is standing in front of him wearing a mid-calf pencil type skirt that has a slight flare at the bottom, a crocheted tunic with matching jewelry. If I hadn't figured out who was with who before, today tells me everything that I need to know.

I didn't think about what I should wear this morning as I got dressed. I guess it's because today really isn't about me. Today affects the Cullens more than me. This is a fresh wound for them. I'm glad that the outcome hasn't affected their family as it has mine. I'm glad that Carlisle survived his ordeal. I'm glad that his family doesn't have the same lasting affects that mine does.

I'm wearing a nice blouse and a pair of slacks with a pair of strappy sandals. I'm glad I'm not a man expected to wear a suit but I'm feeling very underdressed for what feels like such an important occasion. A shawl would have been a nice addition to my outfit.

Jasper reaches the door first and steps around to open it for the rest of his family. He looks around as his family enters and his eyebrows furrow together when looks at me. I'm caught off guard but can't turn away, though I want to. When his family is safely through the door, Jasper hesitates, watching me, before he follows his family.

His brow is still furrowed in confused or cautious maybe, as he leaves me behind. I don't look away until he's disappearing from sight. I linger on the wall a few more minutes because I need to prepare myself.

I slip through the closed doors and take the first available seat. Time marches on as I watch lawyer after lawyer present their evidence before the grand jury, asking for indictments on this and that. It ranges from embezzlement to murder. It's 10:30 am when Mr. Jenks finally gets his turn.

Mr. Jenks straightens his tie as he stands. He lifts the box next to him and takes his place behind the table. He opens his case by addressing the grand jury.

"Your honors, this is about a robbery that went terribly wrong resulting in the physical assault of Mrs. Esme Cullen and then the attempted murder of Dr. Carlisle Cullen, a much respected citizen of our community." He gives the facts of the case to the grand jury almost step-by- step. He presents the physical evidence he has compiled against James Kevin Turner.

Mr. Jenks continues with the evidence until the judges call for a ten minute recess. I take the opportunity to step out for a quick bathroom break.

While I'm in the bathroom, I overhear two women talking.

"What the hell is Jasper's problem, Alice? He's acting like he has something stuck up his ass." That must be Rosalie. She sounds irritated. "He knows this isn't the actual trial. Mr. Jenks is just here to get the ball rolling against that scumbag, James. It may or may not happen even with the grand jury's indictment. Mr. Jenks still may not have enough evidence to go to trial."

"I don't know, Rose. He didn't get all tense until we actually got here. I haven't had a chance to ask him if he is okay. When we break for lunch, I'm going to ask him if he just wants to go home. Maybe this is too much for him. You know how he is about Carlisle. We're all pretty tense about this. I know I am. I want this all behind us. I don't know if we're going to be safe until it is."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm pretty uncomfortable myself. I just get this weird feeling but I guess it's because I've seen too many ugly things to have complete faith in the process. I know this is a horrible thought but, sometimes, I wish I could take the law into my own hands." At least Rosalie's voice has calmed down. Alice just sounds frustrated.

"Come on, Rose, we better get back before the guys come bursting in here thinking we've been eaten by the toilets. They've been so overbearing and protective since all this happened."

I hear the door open and close and listen to the tapping of their heels fade, blocked out by the door, before I exit the stall. After wash my hands and splash some water on my face, I pull the elastic from my hair and let my hair fall down my back while gathering my thoughts before returning to the courtroom.

Stepping from the bathroom, I'm stopped in my tracks as a hand tightly grabs my forearm. Everyone else is in the main hall about thirty feet away.

"Are you stalking my family?" His voice is low and I can hear the anger in it. I try to pull my arm away but his grip is too tight.

"Ow, let go. You're hurting me!" I say looking at my wrist as his hand tightens more and I try to pull away again.

"What's your deal, Bella?" My name is spoken with disgust and venom. "You've been following my family for months and I don't like it. I want you to leave us alone." His eyes pierce mine, his voice venomous to my ears even if it's no more than a whisper. His expression is murderous and Jasper scares me. I feel tears build but I won't give him the satisfaction of crying.

"What?" Jasper continues, his tone the same. "Is your life so pathetic that you have to follow mine around and watch what that man has done to us? You will never know what it has done to my family. You've never experienced anything like it in your life. Or are you enjoying what this man has done to our family? Go back to your safe, quiet, unfulfilled life and leave mine alone. "

"My _deal _is none of your business!" I speak angrily. "You stepped into my world. Not the other way around. Now, let go of my wrist or, I swear, I'll scream so loud they'll hear me in Spokane if you don't." I let my anger keep away my fear as I stare back into his icy blue eyes, knowing that I won't scream unless his threat becomes more serious. His face hardens and the edges of his lips start to twitch. I pull at my wrist again when I feel his grip loosen.

"Next time I see you, I won't be so nice. I promise you that. Stay away from my family," Jasper tells me before turning away and walking back down the hall, brushing his suit smooth and acting like nothing even happened.

"At least you still have him and he remembers who you are," I say. Jasper is too far away and never hears the whispered remark.

Now that he's gone, I let go of the anger and fear. I take a few minutes to compose myself before returning to the main hall. I don't go back into the court room but sit on the bench outside the doors. With my eyes closed, I rest my head against the brick wall behind me and wait. It can't be that much longer. I sit there and think about Charlie and everything we have been through over the years, especially the last three.

No sooner has the yelling and screaming registered than the doors to the court room fly open with a bang as they hit the wall, causing me to jump.

Emmett blocks Edward from the courtroom, shoving him across the hall. Edward is fast and I'm not sure he even hit the floor before he is back up trying to force his way around Emmett to return to the courtroom. Emmett uses his body to move Edward closer to the entry doors.

"Edward, you have to get control of yourself. It doesn't work this way. You're gonna get yourself thrown into jail if you don't stop," Emmett says getting a new hold on Edward, who continues to struggle to get away.

"This is fucking bullshit. They're going to let him go. He's going to get away with this. I hope you assholes are next!" Edward screams at the door as it opens again with more of the family exiting the room. Emmett moves Edward further from the door.

I hear Carlisle's voice next to me as he passes, but I can't take my eyes off of Emmett and Edward.

"Edward, that's enough. Let's get him out of here, Emmett. It's going to be okay, Edward. It's going to work out somehow," Carlisle says moving forward to intercept Emmett and Edward.

Placing a hand on Emmett's shoulder, Carlisle embraces Edward before he can get away. The gentleness of it keeps Edward still as he calms. It's obvious to me that he won't fight back.

I know the heartbreak they all feel. It's the same thing I felt when this had happened to Charlie. At least they know who to blame.

Edward's eyes lose the anger and his face turns pained from whatever it is that Carlisle is saying. His body goes slack as he stops fighting. His eyes lock with mine and his face turns cold. His body goes stiff and rigid as he pulls away, turning away from everyone and, without a word, walks out the door.

Esme takes her position next to Carlisle with nothing but questions written on her face as she looks up to her husband.

"Just give him time, dear, just give him time," He assures Esme. He places his hand on the small of Esme's back and escorts her from the building with the rest of his family in tow.

Jasper is the last in line and he turns to me just before walking out the door. His eyes don't hold the anger they did before. They're filled with pain and hurt. "Are you happy now?"

I wait for Mr. Jenks to come out. I have to find out what happened. I don't understand the Cullens' actions, especially Edward's. What happened in there, that would cause this family such pain?

When Mr. Jenks and two men dressed in suits leave the court room, I approach them, hoping to find out what happened. Mr. Jenks is giving them orders about finding something but I don't catch what he says. When Mr. Jenks colleagues depart I attempt to make my presence known. When Mr. Jenks turns to face me he looks livid, not just angry.

"Mr. Jenks…" I ask but stop when Mr. Jenks exhales. He rubs his hand across his face and pushes his sparse hair back. The odd thought that crosses my mind is that I think I know why he went bald.

"Ms. Swan… I'm sorry. I didn't know you were still here. I thought you decided not to come." He explains while trying to get control of himself.

"What happened… in there I mean. Why are the Cullens so upset?" I really need to know but I don't expect his reply.

"Do you know any really good photographers?" He's looking at the ceiling when he asks and rubs his neck.

"I don't understand."

Moving his head, with sad eyes, Mr. Jenks looks at me.

"We didn't get the indictment. The judge said that unless we know who took the photographs of the crime they won't accept them into evidence. Mr. Turner's lawyer convinced the grand jury the photos were doctored, faked to set him up and I can't prove they're not. They want to question the photographer before accepting them at face value. I'm sorry. We've been trying to find this SIM character but he's a ghost. Every time we think we have a lead on him, it turns into a dead end. They've given us twenty-four hours to find SIM before they release Mr. Turner." He takes another deep breath before continuing.

"If we find what we're looking for, Ms. Swan, I will let you know, but it doesn't look good. Mr. Turner might get away with this after all." He put his hand on my shoulder and apologizes again. He wishes we had more time to talk but, if they have any chance at all, he needs to get busy.

So, what it boils down to, in order for everyone to get justice, I'm going to have to come out from behind the lens and lay all my secrets on the table for everyone to see. Otherwise, James is going to get out and do this again. He's going to be able to hurt someone again unless I step up with what I know.

Charlie would never forgive me if I let that happen.

Mr. Jenks is already out the door when I look up, resolved to do what is right no matter the outcome. If not only for myself or Charlie, but also for the Cullens. I rush through the door and down the steps after Mr. Jenks.

"Mr. Jenks, hold on." I yell, catching up just as he opens the door to a taxi.

"Mr. Jenks, you need to be back to the office, right? Why don't you let me give you a lift? I think the ride might benefit the case."

Mr. Jenks looks at me, curious as to why I chased him down and almost demand that he come with me. If necessary, I'll jump into the taxi to talk to him but then I'll have to make my way back to get my car. He looks like he's going to decline for a second, but he closes the door to the taxi.

"Ms. Swan, this better be good!" He sweeps his hand to the side indicating for me to lead the way. I step back and he follows me to my car. I don't say anything until we're in the car.

I didn't know how to start or where to start my story. He's going to think I'm crazy but it is too late to back out. I look between him and the keys that are in my hand and then back to him. He just looks at me curiously, waiting.

"Mr. Jenks, if I tell you a story what rights do I have?" It's the best I could come up with to break the ice. "Do I need to get a lawyer before I talk to you?" Shit what was I thinking? Do I need my own lawyer?

Am I going to be able to tell him what I know about the attack on Dr. Cullen's? I haven't thought this through before I offered to drive him back to his office.

"What kind of story might you be telling me? Would you be confessing to a crime?" Mr. Jenks asks. "I do not take on clients. I work for the state and the state is my only client, Ms. Swan. If you are going to confess a crime that you have committed then, yes, you need a lawyer."

"I'm not a criminal, Mr. Jenks."

"I know that, Ms. Swan. I ran a background check on you before I ever called you into my office." It's said, so matter of fact, that it shocks me.

"There are some things from your past that don't add up but nothing criminal about quitting school or your job, or being fired from another. Though I'm sure there is a story there. Before we get side tracked, Ms. Swan, how is it that you think you can help this case? I know you're nervous or scared about this man being released…"

"That's not it, Mr. Jenks."

"You're not nervous or scared about Mr. Turner getting away with attempted murder."

"No…well yes, but I'm more nervous about telling you what I know."

"And that would be what, Ms. Swan?"

"Do you know what SIM, S…I…M… stands for, Mr. Jenks?"

"It's the name of the photographer that took photos that prove that Mr. Turner did in fact commit a crime against Mr. Cullen."

"Yes and no. S I M stands for Swan, Isabella Marie."

"Excuse me? I don't think I heard you right, Ms. Swan."

"S I M stands for Swan, Isabella Marie." How can I say it any clearer than that?

* * *

**WIP: Outbound by aftrnoondlight. Summary: Two beautiful souls humbly traveling life's lonely path, until fate suddenly shows her hand. Will Edward and Bella surrender willingly... A tender, romantic tale of love and life in the clouds.**

**Copy and paste s/7239880/ behind**

**COMPLETE: Strawberry Wine by Kas90_ is now complete. A great angst love replayed of love and love lost, then rekindled.**


	26. 26: Swear to tell the truth

**A/N i want to take a minute to thank my beta's, Batgirl and Storypainter. i'm really greatful that you two agree'd to take on Through the lenz for the duration. you have been awsome, even though i still have a comma fetish. lol.**

**I also want to welcome some of the new readers. WELCOME pearl1999 and twitchling for your kind reviews. Because I'm weird I spelled it lenz just to be different. Welcome dreamofthelendless, jeancobo, and lkelly for adding my baby here to your alerts and favorites. I hope you enjoy the rest of the journey. FEEL FREE TO PIMP THIS STORY ANYTIME...or let me know what you think so far.**

**Thank you kezz and random for sticking with me from the beginning. your awsome.**

**NOW I'm hiding while you all read.**

* * *

previously...

"_S I M stands for Swan, Isabella Marie." I don't know how I can say it any clearer than that!_

**Chapter 26: Swear to tell the truth**

* * *

"Are you telling me what I think you're telling me? Pull over… pull the damn car over." We sit on the side of the road for what seems like hours, but reality says it's about two minutes before Mr. Jenks speaks again.

"Please tell me this isn't some kind of sick joke…no, don't tell me that…tell me what you're saying is true because either way it's just as sick."

"I don't need to look at the pictures to tell you every detail of that night. Every minute from the time Dr. Cullen was attacked to when I walked away from the police car in the parking lot…" Mr. Jenks, jaw just hangs in the air as he stares at me with wide eyes.

Very few details have actually been released about that night, so with what I just told Mr. Jenks he has to know I'm not lying. I watch Mr. Jenks go from shocked to contemplative. I want to reach over and pull his hand away from his head because I'm afraid he's going to rub the skin and bone away from his forehead. It's already discolored from rubbing.

"Do you have proof? Tell me you have proof that you are SIM-" I put the car back into drive with my foot still on the break pedal.

"Mr. Jenks, how soon do you have to be back at the office?" I don't look at him but keep my eyes locked on a tree straight ahead, waiting for him to answer.

"If what you say is true, forget the fucking office. If you can substantiate that you are SIM, I'm not going to go back to the office." I release the breaks and, while watching traffic, turn the car around and head in the direction of my apartment. I can feel the tension as I drive but it doesn't touch me. I'm calm, almost detached from the circumstances.

I pop the trunk of my car when we arrive at my place, removing my purse and Mr. Jenks follows me, briefcase in hand.

"Would you like anything to drink, Mr. Jenks?" I ask now that we're in the apartment. I let Mr. Jenks sit in the nice chair while I sit in my computer chair at my desk. He wants proof.

"Do you have anything strong?" he asks with a laugh. He sounds nervous.

"No. I have water or juice, but I might have a beer left over from when my friends came to visit?"

"No. It's okay. Just the water for now, thank you."

"I really don't know where to start, Mr. Jenks. You're going to have to lead this conversation."

"How long…no…I guess I don't know where to start either. Okay, how do you prove to me, as a lawyer, that you are in fact SIM? Do you have any paperwork or something solid that says Isabella Marie Swan is SIM?"

I think about it for a minute then I walk over to the bookcase. Reaching up I pull the first photo album I ordered almost three years ago, before I choose SIM as an alias. It's full of photos from my childhood. It's a collection of twenty of my favorite photos from Forks. I open the cover: inside is a list of thirty or forty different names I played with including SIM. Looking at it now, I even realize each name is dated before I finally chose SIM. I hand the book to Mr. Jenks.

"Why were you at the park that weekend?"

"Up until that night, Mr. Jenks, I'd been going there almost every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for the last three years. Well, during the warmer weather. I chose the pen name SIM when I created the gallery."

What is the gallery?" he asks. It takes a few minutes to explain, but I give Mr. Jenks a brief description of what turned into the Sunday Art Gallery.

"Are you friends with the Cullens?"

"No. Honestly, I don't really know them, except Dr. Cullen. I was his nurse when he was at rehab. I run into Edward at the park after it happened and we talked. I haven't really talked to the women except at the first gallery showing they came to. I don't think Jasper likes me very much. I took the sign that the family made to thank me after they left the park." I reached into the closet, pulling it out, showing it to Mr. Jenks.

Mr. Jenks is silent for so long I start to worry. He sits there in the chair hunched over slightly with his eyes closed. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

"Mr. Jenks… did I do something wrong…illegal?" I know I don't hide the worry in my voice at his silence.

"God no…Ms. Swan, I don't know how you have kept going these past few months, let alone the last few years, because this—for lack of better words—is truly a fucking mess."

"That's how the Swans are. On the surface we are calm and peaceful, moving forward in whatever direction we look. Under the water our feet are moving as fast as they can for dear life." I laugh as it comes out of my mouth. I'm my father's daughter. I sound just like him.

"Ms. Swan…Will you testify in court tomorrow? I know now how much I'm asking from you…I think. You're the only one who can do this, Ms. Swan-" I cut him off before he begs. I know how important it is for me to stand up for the truth. I knew the minute I left the court house that I had to do this for Charlie.

"I don't have a choice, Mr. Jenks. I have to do what's right. I couldn't forgive myself if I let what happened to my family happen to someone else's family. I don't want to make anyone else suffer the way we have, or those other people, or the Cullens. But…" I take a big breath to ground myself. I don't want to ask but I have to. I don't think I'm ready to face anybody when the truth comes out. "Do the Cullens have to be there tomorrow? I'm not sure I can handle that yet." I know how important it is for them to have justice for what this man did to their father but, after my encounter with Jasper today, I just can't handle it.

"I can't guarantee it but I can try."

"Thank you."

"Can I ask another question…?" I nod, letting him proceed. "Why did you quit working at the hospital?" I look at the ceiling. The memory plays out in my head before I could even think about it.

"I didn't really quit. I just couldn't walk back into the emergency room after that night."

"Why? What happened that night?"

"That's the night Charlie was shot. I was the one performing CPR on Charlie when they tried to pronounced time of death. I couldn't stop, I couldn't give up, and I couldn't tell anyone that it was my dad. After that, I just couldn't walk through the doors." I run my hands through my hair and squeeze my head. I look up at a shocked Mr. Jenks. I don't think anyone understands that, had it been anyone else there that night, Charlie wouldn't be here now. James Turner would never have been identified.

"I think I'll take you up on that beer now, unless you have something a whole lot stronger." I laugh as I get up and retrieve the last two beers from the fridge. It's the best I can do.

"Wait… That means… well shit." Mr. Jenks leans back in the seat, looking at me. He has a look of amazement on his face.

"That means that you're the ghost. You're nurse nine hundred and ninety nine percent! Now isn't that to beat all hell."

"I haven't been her for almost three years, Mr. Jenks."

"Not true, Ms. Swan. Not according to what Mr. Cullen has said."

"You can't tell anyone, Mr. Jenks. I'm just not ready for everyone to know about that part of my life yet."

Mr. Jenks calls his office, letting his assistants off the hook. He says he has a plan and not to worry about finding SIM. He says he won't be back in the office today and he'll see them at the court house in the morning.

He also calls Mr. Cullen and explains that they should all avoid the courthouse tomorrow instead of coming to the court house. He doesn't need Edward losing it again. It takes time to convince Carlisle that it would better for them not to be there. I know he wants to say why but I keep shaking my head no.

Mr. Jenks and I spend the next few hours talking about what might or might not happen the next day. He definitely doesn't want it to come out that I was the daughter of the possible first victim. I won't lie about it if I'm asked and Mr. Jenks understands.

I'm sure he puts more pieces of the puzzle together as we speak. He warns me that the next day will be rough but it will be okay in the end.

"Ms. Swan, tomorrow you may not like me, so I want to apologize in advance. Tomorrow, I will be the district attorney trying to get justice. Just know that you are truly an amazing person and anything that happens tomorrow is not personal." Before I can figure out what he's really saying, he's gone.

*~~~TTH~~~*

If you would have asked me twelve hours ago what I thought of Mr. Jenks, I would have told you that he believed in justice and was very passionate about it. If you asked me that same question right now, I would tell you that Mr. Jenks is an egotistical shit bag that wants to be in front of the cameras.

Hostile witness, you haven't seen hostile yet, Mr. Jenks.

"No, Mr. Jenks, I do not get some kind of sick pleasure out of taking people's pictures just for the fun of it. I do, however, take a lot of pleasure in capturing those moments that people wish they could get a picture of and don't because they don't have a camera right there with them all the time. I do enjoy helping to document people's lives there at the park. If you weren't such a paper pusher and got outside a little more often you might understand." I'm seeing red as I sit here in the witness stand answering this asshole's questions. For the life of me, I can't figure out why Mr. Jenks is treating me this way. I'm going to tell the truth no matter what. His questions are insulting.

"Ms. Swan, how long have you been stalking the Cullen family?"

"I already told you I am not stalking the Cullen family. I have been taking pictures at that park for three years. You can ask anyone that visits there regularly. The Cullen family only started coming to the park a month or so before this happened." If I could reach across this wall and choke the life out of Mr. Jenks, I would.

"Why did you keep taking pictures of the incident instead of calling the police or screaming and letting someone else know something was going on?"

"Uhg…Mr. Jenks I hope you get this in your head this time. I was using a night time telescopic lens that night and was too far away to scream. Besides, screaming probably would have gotten me killed as well. I was so shocked, I couldn't believe what I was happening. Once the shock wore off, the adrenaline kicked in and I reacted, trying to help." What a moron. I told him all this last night. I told him everything last night.

"Why did you pick the alias of SIM?" Mr. Jenks asks. I just glare at him because he already knows the answer. "Your Honor, can you direct the witness to answer the question."

"Ms. Swan, you will answer the question or be held in contempt." The statement isn't harsh, just matter of fact. I glare back at Mr. Jenks. I have to answer but I don't have to be sweet about it.

"Swan Isabella Marie, get it now S I M, SIM." Moron. You asked for a hostile witness you got a hostile witness.

"Thank you, Ms. Swan. That will be all, your Honor." Mr. Jenks didn't even act like he knew who I was. He just sat down at the desk looking over his notes.

"Mr. Laurent, do you have any questions for the witness?" the judge asks the defense attorney, then looks back down at the papers in front of him, bored.

"We have none, your Honor. We accept that Ms. Isabella Marie Swan is also known as SIM, the photographer of certain photos in question."

"You may step down, Ms. Swan." I look at the judge and nod before standing and leave the court room. On my way out, I notice that there's not a Cullen in sight and that's the only thing that relieves my stress right now. I'm just not ready for them to know everything yet, even though it's just a matter of time.

I wait outside for Mr. Jenks, ready to give him a piece of my mind. I don't know what his deal is and, though I am pissed beyond reason, I still want to know if this helped get the indictment against James Turner. I don't want all this to be in vain. He can treat me anyway he wants as long as justice is served. I pace back and forth in the hall. I'm furious when Mr. Jenks finally emerges from the court room, grinning.

"Now, Ms. Swan, I warned you. Let me escort you to your vehicle today." I turn and storm out of the building. I better be on the other side of the car so I don't kill him there.

"Ms. Swan, I'm sorry but I did warn you. Treating you like a hostile witness kept the defendant's lawyers from asking you too many questions. It kept yours and your father's story out of the lime light. It was the only way to keep everything in the dark for now. I don't think it will stay that way but, for now, it was a means of protecting you. Ms. Swan, I hope that when you calm down, you can understand the dynamics of the situation-and we got the indictment."

"Fuck you, Mr. Jenks." I angrily jump into my car, shoving the key into the ignition and the gear shift into reverse. I don't even look at Mr. Jenks when I pull out of the parking lot. It isn't until I'm home that I start to calm down and think about last night and the events of today. I try to think about how it looks from all sides. After I calm down and really see what Mr. Jenks did, I'm ashamed of my actions. He had warned me last night that I wouldn't like him today. He had planned it and now I realize how good of a lawyer he is. So far, he had kept his promise by keeping my personal life out of focus and the Cullens out of the room.

Tomorrow's another day. Tomorrow, I visit with Charlie and see how he's doing. It seems likes it's been forever since I spent any time with him. Things didn't end well last time I saw him. I wonder if he'll remember. I hope not. This is one time I'm glad my dad has trouble remembering what he had for breakfast.

* * *

**A/N WIP REC THIS WEEK; Tortured Soul by JK5959. Edward Masen is secluded to his family home for the rest of his existence, never able to leave the manor's grounds. Will a tortured soul find his heart's desire? E/B AU. Copy and paste ****/s/4874258/1/A_bTortured_b_bSoul_b after **

**COMPLETED FIC; Hit by Destiny, by ocdmess.**

**_Three months ago, something happened that came to change Bella's life forever. She is an outcast, hated by everyone, loved by no one. She wants nothing more than to end her life and she almost gets her wish fulfilled when she gets hit by a shiny Volvo. She is left with serious injuries and the only thing keeping her alive is the person who hit her...__._**

**_Copy and paste /s/5463682/1/ behind _**


	27. 27: Nightmare

**a/n: please for me for how late this chapter is. One of my Beta's, Batgirl, has been sick. I hope she feels better soon. As always Batgirl and storypainter are my awsome beta's and without them this chapter would be severly lacking. So many mistakes to fix. ANY AND ALL ERRORS THAT REMAIN ARE MY FAULT.**

**What did you all think about Mr. Jenks? **

**Thank you to those that reviewed, Cici G and cb. I hope the story doesn't disappoint. Welcome to my new lurkers (Thats what you are now unless you review) peintobi12, CarrieLynn819, Debbie n s florida, katetaan, taylowendy, dixiIor, and artfully. I hope you take a few minutes to introduce yourselves by review. Share something you've read that you like/dislike about my baby. **

* * *

**Chapter 27: Nightmares**

It's about nine at night and I'm restless, unable to sleep. I didn't visit Charlie like I thought I would after leaving court but hid myself away for the past three days. In the mirror, I can see the beginnings of dark circles under my eyes. I need to get some rest, some sleep, without dreams or nightmares. I could probably sleep for a month.

I pull my hair up in a tight lazy style pony tail. I don't want my hair hanging down my back, so I don't pull it completely through that last wrap of my ponytail holder. Pulling my hair back makes my eyes look a little more open but I still look tired. I look around my apartment as I leave the bathroom. I'm so tired, the walls start to feel like they're breathing and I think for second that, maybe, I need to step out and get some fresh air. Maybe some fresh air will do me good. Lord only knows.

It's Friday night and a girl my age should be out having fun, right? I'm twenty-five years old. I pushed myself in high school. I applied myself to advance placement classes and left high school with college credits that had me accepted into the fast track program to become a doctor, even if it hasn't turned out that way. At least I had enough courses and credits to apply for my nursing license when I needed to. I worked in the ER of a hospital for two years and at Courtyard for three. All my hard work has brought me this far. Now, I just feel old and tired. How can someone my age feel like this, like I've lived an entire lifetime in less than five years? Then, on the other hand, I still feel like a little girl that needs her daddy—even though emotionally, I'm an orphan.

It's not until I close my eyes, that I start to question my sanity. While my eyes are closed, I can actually feel the walls breathing, sucking all the oxygen out of the air. I can hear the steady breathing of the walls as if they have lungs. I open my eyes again and make my decision. If I'm going to lose my mind tonight, I'm going to do it where someone can find me. No one would find me for days if I stayed in my apartment. If the walls don't have a mouth and stomach that will eat me first.

I adjust my clothing and slip on a pair of sneakers, grabbing my jacket and purse on my way out the door. If nothing else, a strong cup of coffee will help me stay up a little longer.

The sky isn't completely black when I reach the sidewalk. The days have become longer and the nights shorter in Seattle. Spring leaves are getting bigger and darker green. The streetlamps are on and help light the way as I start to walk, forgoing the car. As tired as I am, I really don't trust myself behind the wheel. I won't become another statistic. I saw enough of that when I worked in the ER. If I did drive, even though I haven't had a drink, I would still be driving while impaired- by exhaustion.

I walk the few blocks between my apartment and the main street where I make a quick left. A few more blocks down, I cross the street at the lights. There, on the far side, sits the best coffee house in Seattle. The Java Joint. An older couple named Kate and Garrett own the place but are already at home this time of night. Benjamin, Kate and Garret's adopted son, works there at night. Benjamin's friendly but not overly talkative. He's probably a little younger than I am. I think he is a student at the University of Washington because when he thinks no one is looking he has his nose in a book. Maybe he just likes to read; I don't know.

"Evening, Ms. Bella. The usual tonight, it looks like?" God I love this boy's accent. It's not overly thick, just a hint that lets you know he isn't originally from Washington. If I have to guess, It's definitely foreign- maybe Scottish, though he looks more Egyptian than anything.

"Yes, thank you, Ben…" I blush as he corrects me, giving me his whole name, Benjamin. I love it when he does that. It's fun to tease him and get him to react.

"You're breaking my heart, Ms. Bella. How long is it going to take you to remember that my name is Benjamin and not Ben? Bens are lazy geeks. Do I look like a geek to you? Please do not answer that." he laughs. Our conversations are always the same,full of banter.

"I'm sorry, Benjamin," I reply, smiling as Benjamin hands me my coffee and I smile more at my little tease. Benjamin eyes me as I grab a book from under the counter.

"You've planned a long night ahead of you, Ms. Bella?" His eyes are soft as he speaks. They have more age to them than his body does. Benjamin is an old soul. I just smile and head off to my usual corner.

The Java Joint is a new style hippie joint. Walls are made of bookshelves and there are tables with chairs up front, but in the back it's a maze of bookshelves, tables and comfy chairs where you can curl up for hours, drink your coffee, and read. My favorite spot is right past the first set of bookshelves. I can still hear people talking in the main area but I'm hidden from sight. No one knows you're there unless they come into this area. I set my coffee down as I sit in the rounded chair, open my book and start to read the lines across the page.

I know someone else enters the store because the bell above the door rings quietly, but I'm too absorbed in my copy of _Romano and Ginger _to care. It's a comical parody of _Romeo and Juliet_. Whoever wrote it really must have hated the play.

I pay no attention to the hum of voices from behind the bookcase as the words blur on the page before me. I feel safe and secure, hidden from view. I can't make out what the page says or what the voices are saying, only that they sound like music as I drift to sleep. I'm grateful that the nightmares don't come immediately the way they have the last few days.

_It's the most beautiful the meadow has ever looked. It's no longer brown grass and dirt, or sleeping leafless trees mixed with evergreens. The grass is green and spotted with wildflowers and the aspen and birch trees are covered with delicate green leaves. The apple trees have small blossoms and the smell, mixed with the earth, is new. I lie on the grass and watch the puffy clouds float overhead. I breathe in the fresh air and let the rays of the sun tickle my exposed skin, warming me. I feel a mild breeze that caused the grass around me to gently brush against my skin. I rest in peace and quit, loving the warmth of this place._

_I hear angels whisper somewhere beyond my understanding. I focus on my breathing, letting it fill my lungs, expanding and contracting as I breathe. It feels like seconds that I have been lying here, lying on the ground, when I open my eyes to find the clouds have started to thicken and turn black. The wind begins to howl from the tops of the trees. The cold replaces the warmth of the sun and the dream world that I have so enjoyed turns into my nightmare. I pull my knees to my chest, my skin still exposed to the elements._

_The grass withers in the darkness and the flowers fade and disappear. The wind rips the leaves from the trees in a violent display of its anger. The shadows grow closer and any light that remained disappears, leaving the lightning the only substance to create light. The shadows begin to take form as the sky opens, pelting me with rain. I hold myself together tightly and beg for my nightmare to end._

_Voices start to surround me, calling my name. Charlie's is the loudest, telling me to run. Strong hands grip my shoulders and pull me to my full height. When I look up, it's Charlie. He pushes me towards the edge of the forest where a stranger walks out from the nothingness of the shadows. His hair is blond and pulled back into a ponytail. His eyes are blood red with hate and malice. His grin is wide with pleasure and he's enjoying his time. He stalks around me, while Charlie screams in the background, "He threatened to kill my daughter!"_

"_What do you want?" I yell, trying to wipe the grin off his face._

"_It would be so easy to kill you right now." His hand brushes across my face, lingering on my cheek. "But I'm going to take my time. I'm going to watch as your world is destroyed before I take your final breath." He moves his lips to my ear and I close my eyes. "and I'm going to make your father watch…" My eyes pop open and the shadows transform into wolves which step into view. Their fangs are dripping with blood as they take positions around us. I pull away from Charlie and run in the opposite direction. I hear a familiar, yet unknown, voice far behind me as I run through the blackness of the trees. The branches scratch at my face and the flesh that's still exposed. _

_I trip and stumble as I try to make my way out through the trees. The uneven ground and the roots trip me and I fall. I pick myself up, running again as blood drips from my knees and hands that made contact with the surface painfully. Strong arms grab me from behind, shocking me awake. I'm sitting in the living room where I grew up. I close my eyes again, waiting for the dream to pass._

"Ms. Bella," a concerned voice says. I open my eyes again. "Ms. Bella, wake up." My body jerks, trying to break the grip. I wake with a start. When my eyes focus again, Benjamin is kneeling before me, his hands on my shoulders, his eyes wide and concerned.

"Ms. Bella, are you okay? I'm sorry, but it's time to wake up." I look around and feel the warmth of the Java Joint. I see the table next to me with a coffee sitting on it and a bookcase directly behind my head. I take a deep breath to steady my nerves.

"I'm sorry, Benjamin. I must have fallen asleep. What time is it?" I look around trying to get my bearings.

"It's just past the midnight hour, Ms. Bella." His face is gentle and he's patient as I pull myself up.

"Benjamin, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I fell asleep for two and half hours. Thank you." I grab my coffee that is now cold and pull my jacket on, when Benjamin stops me.

"Let me give you a free coffee, Ms. Bella. A hot one for the walk home," he says, taking my cold coffee away and walking behind the counter. I lean on the counter and watch as Benjamin works, filling my cup with hot coffee.

"I should have woken you when the other man that was here found you asleep, but we both agreed you looked so peaceful that neither of us could do it." I feel the blood rush from my face as flashes of my nightmare pass through my head. "He was nice. I think he likes you because he asked questions about you. I don't know him as well as I know you so the only thing I told him was that you had been having a hard time lately, and that it was fine if you felt like sleeping here for a bit."

"Please tell me he didn't have blond hair." I try to joke and cover up the sudden fear that's almost choking me.

"No. No. He had this funny red hair color. He's been coming in here off and on for awhile now." I feel relief flood me. It wasn't James Turner. I'm being ridiculous because James Turner is in jail, held behind bars for hopefully a very long time to come. Benjamin hands me my fresh coffee and a bag. I look at him questioningly.

"It's a special blend of tea. It might help you get some sleep once you make it home, on the house of course." Benjamin escorts me to the door and locks it behind me. I pull my coat tighter around me as the cold starts to lap at the warmth of my jacket. He flips the sign over and it now reads "closed". The lights from above the door go dark as I turn to the sidewalk making my way home.

The coffee is still warm when I make it back to my apartment. I sit it down next to my computer.

I decide to see if I can figure out why I keep having this nightmare over and over. Tonight was the first time in weeks that it's been different. Seeing the meadow alive and full of color is new but when it turns into a nightmare, that part's the same, always the same.

I try to think over the nightmare and remember its key points. I remember that James Turner threatened to kill me, but he was going to take his time. I was worried about Charlie and I was beginning to fear for him since the day at the police station. He was so angry and violent. I had never seen my dad like that before. I remembered the shadows turning into wolves but I couldn't remember if they were chasing me or if they were just howling. I remember that James was chasing me. Why would he chase me? I have this feeling that I'm missing something. I have to figure out that part of my dream. Who is James Turner?

I open my Internet Explorer after my computer finishes booting. I type in James Kevin Turner and click on enter. Hundreds and hundreds of hits fill the screen. I read through description after description but come up with nothing. The names are too varied, so I click on images hoping I can narrow down the field a little.

On the third page of images, there's a picture of James Kevin Turner. His hair is shorter and definitely neater. He's wearing a tuxedo and standing next to a beautiful red haired woman wearing an emerald green evening gown, his hand resting on her stomach. I click on the link.

_James Kevin Turner announces that his wife, Victoria Lisa Turner, will give birth in about two months. _The article is dated four years ago. He doesn't look like a bad guy in the picture. Actually, he looks normal, happy, loving.

I type in his wife's name, Victoria Lisa Turner, and then click on images. When I see her picture, I click on the link. The article is dated two months later. It's her obituary.

The article says she's survived by her husband James Kevin Turner. The article says nothing about her unborn child. I wipe a tear from my eye. I refresh my browser and scroll through more pictures.

The next article I find is...terrifying: The Murder of Victoria Lisa Turner. It says that after being brutally attacked ,Victoria Turner, succumbed to her injuries at the hospital and was pronounced dead on the operating table. Continuing it says that her unborn child is missing and that her husband, James Turner, disappeared after being questioned by police the following day. The autopsy performed listed poisoning as the cause of death after her child was delivered by means of incompetent surgical aid. The Chicago Police Department believe that Victoria Lisa Turner was murdered to gain custody of her unborn child. James Turner, being the prime suspect, is wanted for further questioning. Other than the child, no other motive is given.

According to her husband, James Turner, during initial questioning, arrived home late after a jam session with a new band member. While putting his things away thought he heard a door close and assumed it was his wife. He found his wife lying in a pool of blood in the nursery of their home. Though still breathing she was unconscious and survived until she made it to the hospital.

The article talked about how the couple had fallen in love in college and how excited they were about the birth of their daughter. Victoria had just signed a contract to star in an independent film that would start about six to eight weeks after her daughter was born and James Turner has also been signed on as the musical director for the film. The article shared more information but I couldn't read any further. My heart felt for James Turner and his wife. I still don't know why he shot my father but I now know that James Turner wasn't always a bad guy.

I shudder when the thought hits me. James Turner is a surviving victim of a crime. How many of his crimes left victims? I was a surviving victim of the crime against Charlie. How many others had the same outcome, and where is James Turner's daughter? Why did he disappear? Were there problems in the marriage? Did he have the baby? I write my questions down on a piece of paper and come Monday morning maybe I can ask Mr. Jenks those questions.

It's three in the morning on Saturday when I turn off the computer and try to think about something good as I close my eyes to get more sleep. When I finally wake, I'm in the same position I was when I went to sleep a few hours ago.

I lie there looking at the ceiling. I wonder how Charlie has been since our last visit. He's been so different than before. At least then, he participated in conversation and acknowledged that I was there. Now...

Tuesday, when I visit Charlie, he doesn't even looks at me. It's as if I'm not even there. He doesn't acknowledge the nurse when she comes in to give him his medication. I spend a few minutes talking to her about how he's been since the move here. She doesn't know what's normal or abnormal for Charlie. To her, he's been this way since he arrived. He hasn't interacted with the staff at all. I also noticed something else that's new, something that's normal to them.

Since I arrived, Charlie's right hand has twitched and twitched. His eyes show that somebody's home but what memory he's lost in is a mystery. I didn't know. I spend an hour trying to get him to talk to me. I let the nurse know that this is not normal; even by Charlie standards this is not normal. I figure he's just mad because our last visit didn't go well. Charlie's acting more despondent than ever. He's a quiet man by nature, but not this quiet. I wonder if this is his reaction to the stress that all this has been causing him. Maybe I should call Dr. Rossi and ask him his professional opinion. Maybe I just need to visit more. God knows there is nothing going on at home right now. I still haven't found a job. I haven't even talked to anyone from the Courtyard since talking to Angela, and that seemed like so long ago.

It has been weeks since I had talked to anyone from Forks too. I wonder briefly how Billy is doing. The weather is still trying to figure out whether it wants to be spring or winter. One day everything looks like it's greening up and there's no snow on the ground; the next is cold and I expect the ground to be covered in a white, thin blanket of soft snow. Making a trip to Forks is out of the question, but a phone call to Billy isn't. I wonder if Billy would be up this early.

I pick up the phone and pause. I hang up the phone and pause. I pick up the phone and one by one press the numbers that are forever ingrained in my head from childhood.

"Good Morning, Ms. Stubborn. What has you calling me at this time of the morning?" I have to laugh. Billy sounds like he's been awake for awhile now.

"Well, good morning, to you too, Billy. Is it too early for you to spare a few minutes for someone as stubborn as I am? Wait I take that back. Billy, do you have a few minutes?"

"Is everything okay, Bella?"

"I don't know, Billy, that's why I called."

"I've got a few minutes. What's on your mind?" I put my thoughts in order to ask this question right.

"Billy have you ever known my dad to be... um removed, I guess?"

"Hum, no. Not in general, Bella. Why?"

"Well, it's just when I went to see him this week, he was different. More than normal, whatever normal means, but normal for Charlie. It was so weird. I've never seen him like this, Billy. He just stares out the window. He wouldn't talk to me or look at me. He doesn't interact with anyone and I guess he hasn't since the move. I'm afraid that maybe I did something wrong by putting him there." The emotions take over and I hold my breath trying to hold back the tears. "And his hand twitched the whole time I was there."

"Bella, I wasn't there with you but from what you're describing to me, no I have never seen Charlie like that. Now, I have seen him violent a few times, especially after your mother passed away, but never quiet and vacant like you're describing. When did this start happening?" I was kind of shocked at what Billy said. I had never seen my dad violent after my mother died. He had been gentle and kind. I looked back over the past few weeks.

"I've seen Charlie violent quite a few times over the past few years but he was always yelling and throwing stuff. I've never seen him quiet like this. But I think the worst of it was at the police station when it took several police officers to hold him down after identifying James Turner as the man that shot him. That's when we had to have him admitted to the hospital."

"I don't know what to say, Bella. If Charlie is this bad…Maybe you need to think about putting him someplace…I don't even know how to put this, sweetheart, but maybe he needs to be put back in the hospital. Something is going on and if the Charlie I know is still in there, then whatever is going on in that mind of his doesn't sound good." Billy's voice sounds resigned and frustrated. "Maybe try and visit him again and get him outside and see if that has any affect on him. The outside always seemed to calm him down."

"Yah, maybe, I guess." I have time today to go and see him. "Maybe enough time has passed but I don't think so. Something was definitely going on with Charlie yesterday."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I wish I could be of more help. I miss my old friend. Forks just hasn't been the same for me since… well, since he left."

"Nothing's been the same, Billy."

"How are you doing, sweetheart?"

"Honestly, Billy, everything is so twisted up and none of it really makes sense. I feel like everything is being sucked out of me."

"You're not sleeping, are you?" Billy knows me so well. "Just like in college when it was time for your finals."

"It's worse than that, Billy, much worse."

"Anything I can do, youngin?"

"Not right now, but if I think of something, I'll let you know, okay?"

"You call me anytime at all, Bella, and I mean that."

"I know, Billy, I know."

"Okay, Ms. Stubborn, I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Definitely. I'll try not to hide as long this time."

After a few minutes of trying to let my brain go blank, without success, I decide that maybe things have changed and I'm going to try and spend some time visiting Charlie again. Maybe I've just been away too long. It's late enough in the morning that the half hour drive will be a nice get away and I can even spend a few hours with Charlie and still be home for a late lunch. With keys in hand, my purse and jacket I head out.

* * *

**A/N Read, Review, and pimp if you're liking what you're reading. DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES NOW? Oh ya, before I forget. I've posted pictures of the two Banners created for Through the Lenz. Tell me which one you like best. You can find me on twitter as writtenbyabdex.**

**Oh I did forget this - If you want to read something lusty I posted my O/S that I wrote for Smut Univiersty. Glorious Tourture can be found on my profile page.**

**This weeks pimpage goes to**

**WIP: Morphing Games by . **

**Summery: Twenty-four names drawn at random, by the end all but one will be dead. The final survivor receives the ultimate prize: immortality. My name is Bella Swan, and I'm a Prospective in the 100th Morphing Games. There's only one problem: I don't want to win.**

**Copy and Paste - /s/7397213/4/ - behind **

**Completed Fic: The Mirrors by adorablecullens**

**Summery: Teddy's secret and magical childhood is lost when a family heirloom is destroyed, changing his life forever. Now an adult, can Edward open himself back up to magic and love when he meets a beautiful - and hauntingly familiar - woman in real life?**

**Copy and Paste - /s/4971734/1/ - behind **


	28. 28: Twitch

A./N; Sorry that this chapter took so long. Seems everyone has the gombou. Thank you Batgirl and storypainter for doing your usualamazing job or Betaing all my errors, even sick.

Thanks for the reviews everyone. Welcome to the story, Welcome to my new lurkers and reviewers, Diana Steel, Vampire Extrodinaire, BekkaS, lynn1111, Chiromom, MichelleKJ, wanna-be amazon, and pattypattz. Hope everyone is enjoying the story. Feel free to review and pimp out the story. We're down to about 8 or 9 chapters I think...lol.

* * *

Chapter 28: Twitch

"Morning, Charlie." Lacking any acknowledgment when I knock, I enter the room, trying to sound more cheerful than I feel. When I finally see Charlie's face, my breath catches and my stomach falls.

"Charlie," I say, trying to get his attention but Charlie doesn't react. His eyes are rimmed red with dark circles underneath. His clothes are clean and his hair is brushed but that's not what keeps my attention.

Charlie's hand still twitches rhythmically and his eyes are a long way off, but now the side of his face twitches along with his hand. Feeling bone breaking fear for Charlie, I kneel next to him. The man sitting before me barely looks like Charlie. Where he's at, in that head of his, I have no clue.

"Charlie, it's Saturday. It's me, Bells." My hand moves involuntarily until it touches his face, still no reaction. His skin is cool to the touch. I brush his hair back from his face. Nothing, not even a blink. I'm sure something is wrong and it's more than his medication.

Leaving my jacket and purse behind, I approach the nurses' station down the hall.

"Excuse me. I'm Isabella Swan. Can I talk to the charge nurse about Charlie Swan, please." The young girl at the nurse's station looks at me and smiles before pointing her out to me. Catching her name from her name tag, Shawna, RN, steps out from behind the desk.

"How can I help you?"

"I'm Charlie Swan's daughter, Bella, and I have a few questions about how he's doing," I say, letting her know who I am. Shawna pulls his file from behind the desk and reads for a few minutes. I know she's making sure she has all the facts before she answers any questions.

"Can you tell me how long he's had this facial twitch?" I question, letting the irritation filter through. Shawna glances over his chart, flipping the papers as she goes.

"Since he was moved here, Ms. Swan," She answers looking confused, as if she doesn't understand why I'm asking this question.

"Has someone changed his medications or anything, because I've never seen my dad like this before." Finally, she looks like she understands what I'm asking, her face relaxing.

"Ms. Swan, you may not be familiar with the side effects of a stroke. I know this is extreme but it's not uncommon for someone who's suffered a stroke." Is this girl for real? Is she patronizing me? Stroke. What stroke?

"Are you the charge nurse?" I have to figure out what role she plays here.

"Yes, I am, Ms. Swan," She says, trying to sound authoritative, but it comes across weak and she obviously has no idea who I am or what I do for a living.

"Charlie Swan, is not a stroke victim! Something is wrong here. Is there a doctor on duty?" I can't believe she thinks he's a stroke victim.

"The doctor visits residents on Monday, Ms. Swan. His records say he's a stroke victim," she says as if I'm clueless. She even opens up his chart, showing me the diagnosis that says brain injury – caused by shooting. I look over the paper to where she was pointing.

"That's doesn't say brain injury caused by stroke, Shawna. That says shooting. And I should know because I was there." Oh, my God. No wonder the nurses and nursing assistants haven't been overly concerned about Charlie's present state. Ms. Shawna's face pales at the realization that in fact the paper says shooting victim, not stroke victim, but it's also easy to see how it was misinterpreted as stroke with the sloppy handwriting. Doctors!

"He needs to go to the hospital. This isn't right."

"We can't transport patients to the hospital without a doctor's orders, Ms. Swan."

"Well, I suggest you get busy finding one." Shawna just stands there and stares. "What does it take for me to sign Charlie out for the day?" I'm not taking the time for her to figure this out.

"Um… just come to the desk and sign the sign out sheet," she says, but it sounds more like a question. I grab the sign out sheet, filling in the appropriate boxes, before returning to Charlie's room.

Grabbing the wheel chair, I pull it next to him and lock the breaks. A young woman I haven't seen before follows me into the room.

"Ms. Swan, do you know what you're doing?" The poor girl's face looks completely panicked as I take Charlie's arms, place them over my shoulder and begin moving Charlie to the wheel chair.

"As a matter of fact, I do. Obviously more than you do!" I move Charlie around until he's in front of the wheelchair, then carefully lower him into the sitting position. I lift his feet, placing them on the foot rests. I grab his jacket and wrap it around him. A few seconds later, I have my jacket on and my purse over my shoulder. I roll Charlie past the nurse's station while Nurse Shawna confirms I have the legal authority to take Charlie out of the facility.

With Charlie in the passenger seat of the car and his wheelchair in the trunk, I make my way through the security gate and head back to Seattle.

"It's okay, Charlie, we'll figure this out. You don't have to be scared or hurt or angry. I'm here." That becomes my mantra all the way to Harbor View Medical Center.

I can take Charlie anywhere, but his treatment started at Harbor View Medical Center. They have all his medical records and I'd be wasting time taking him anywhere else. Not wanting to waste more time, I pull up in front of the emergency room doors. I know I'm not supposed to unload here but, at this point, I don't care. I really should go to the garage but I didn't want to waste time. I'm interrupted as I transfer Charlie back into the wheelchair.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but you can't park here," I hear a woman say, but I don't bother to look up before the words are out of my mouth.

"Then move the damn car yourself. Hell, have it towed off for all I care!" I yell back then turn the wheelchair in the direction of the emergency room doors, never looking at the women who spoke to me. Right now, Charlie is my priority. The sooner we figure all this out the better.

A bold move on my part, I don't even stop at the nurses' station but continue threw the doors, to my car.

"Ma'am, you can't just go in there," the triage nurse says as I push past the first room through the double doors.

"I need a doctor immediately," I say, looking around specifically for Dr. Pantra. He's the best at what he does and, three years ago, he was the most familiar with Charlie.

"Dr. Pantra," I say and then a little louder, "Dr. Pantra!" Someone grabs me by the arm but I shake them off. "Dr. Pantra, I need your help." I'm almost yelling now.

Before I can get any louder or obnoxious, Dr. Pantra comes into the main area from behind a door. Confused and wide eyed, he looks at me, trying to figure out who I am. I haven't seen Dr. Pantra since my last night in the emergency room. "It's Charlie, something's wrong, Dr. Pantra. I don't know what to do!" My voice betrays my fear. The annoying nurse pulls at my arm again.

"It's okay, Amanda, I got this one." His eyes never leave mine but the nurse stops pulling on my arm. "Amanda, find a room for this patient, please." Dr. Pantra grabs my arm but not hard. "Just give us a minute to get him into a room, " He says soothingly. His face looks like he's seen a ghost, though I'm not sure he remembers me. He looks like he wants to ask me something but I just shake my head. He doesn't push with questions at this point and that's why I like Dr. Pantra.

"Patient's name?" the annoying nurse, Amanda, asks.

"Charlie Swan. The hospital has most of his medical records. Except for these," I say, pointing to the ones I have in my purse. I finally look at the nurse but don't recognize her from when I worked here. She motions for me to follow her, then has me enter a room.

"I'll be right back." Her tone is professional and detached. I understand that. You have to be like that in the ER. You can't get too close, you can't get personally involved. I'm also sure that if Amanda wasn't a professional she would have a few words for me that I wouldn't like. If the situation were reversed, I would probably have words for me too. It seems to take forever for Dr. Pantra to come and assess Charlie, but, actually, it's more like fifteen minutes.

"Now, Ms. Swan, you want to tell me why you just pushed yourself into the emergency room and completely ignored normal procedure?" he asks with interest. I look up at Dr. Pantra but he is still looking at Charlie's medical records.

"He was recently placed in a new facility and they thought he was a stroke victim instead of a gunshot victim.

This," I say, waving my hand at Charlie, "isn't normal for Charlie." Dr. Pantra sets the medical records down on the table and takes a pen light out of his pocket. He hunches over to Charlie's height and waves the pen across Charlie's eyes. My hands fight against each other as they squeeze each other over and over.

"How long has the twitching been going on?"

"The hand twitching, about two weeks. The cheek and eye area, four maybe five days at most. That's what freaked me out and then I find out that they thought he was a stroke victim."

"You trust me?" he says finally, looking at me. All I can do is nod. "Okay, I'm going to run a few tests but I'm going to ask you to step out into the waiting room and I want you to stay there until I come and get you." Dr. Pantra stands and retrieves Charlie's medical records before leaving the room. "You did the right thing, BS." Then I'm left alone with Charlie. I didn't think Dr. Pantra recognized me, but with hearing him use my old nickname, I know he does.

"It's okay, Charlie. Dr. Pantra is going to figure it out. I have to go fill out paperwork but I'll be in the waiting room. I'm not going anywhere." I put my hand on Charlie's head and pray, _God. if you're watching, I could really use some help right about now._

* * *

_WIP; DE IMMORTALITATE, Summary: "The life of the Roman patrician Antonius is put at stake by his  
father, Felix. When Felix brings to his only son a new slave, Bella, more  
reasons arise for Antonius' concerns. Felix's secret can change Antonius' and  
Bella's destiny." ExB AU/vampires_

_http:/ www. fanfiction. net /s/7116125/18/_

_COMPLETEDFIC; MEETING MYSELF, BY SAMMIELYNNSMOM, One lie sealed his fate. He couldn't look back and he couldn't move on, but what happens when he finds out, sixteen years later, it was all a lie. Can he become t he father she needs, and can she accept that she was really wanted? E&B in time, no cheating._

_http:/ /www. fanfiction. net /s/6915683/1/_

_Don't forget to review before you leave...Till next time..._


	29. 29: Help Wanted

**A/n Welcome back everyone. Yup, it's a new chapter. Thank you for all that have reviewed, alerted, or fav'd this story. It makes me all tingling inside that your enjoying my warped imagination. (psst, it's a dangerour place to hang out, ask my kids.)**

**Thank you lurkers: SkuraBlossom221334 LiLi82, Mrs. Robward**

**Reviewers: Cici G, Random Nonsence Unlimited, DreamofThe Endless. I can't believe we've reached 84 reviews. Don't forget to leave one at the end. I really want to know what your all thinking as we head into the last 7 chapters. Click, Click, Click. Lol.**

"It's okay, Charlie. Dr. Pantra is going to figure it out. I have to go go fill out paperwork but I'll be in the waiting room. I'm not going anywhere." I put my hand on Charlie's head and pray, _God,__if__you're__watching,__I__could__really__use__some__help__right__about__now._

_**Chapter 29: Help Wanted**_

I fill out the paperwork and sit in the waiting room. The small hand on the clock moves slowly around the face until it rests on the six and the long hand moved closer until they are almost touching. I don't remember what time it was when we got here. Amanda's - the annoying nurse from the emergency room - shift changes and a different nurse takes over. I don't take time to look at her as she takes her place in triage. I think about calling Billy or Jacob but waver because I don't want to create worry.

"Bella, is that you?" When I hear my name, I turn to see an old familiar face. I place her name quickly. I still know these people like it was yesterday.

"Hi, Sue. Yes, it's me." I roll my head forward, away from the wall and sit up further in my chair.

"Wow, how long has it been?" _Three__years_.

"Too long," I answer and, because I can see the disappointment in her eyes, I add, "I'm sorry." Right now, I'm sorry for a lot of things. Maybe if I had stId and finished my residency we wouldn't be in this spot. Maybe if I had finished getting my doctorate, things would be better for Charlie. Maybe if I hadn't been so emotional that night I could have walked back in through those doors the next day instead of three years later.

"You should be, you brat," Sue says, sitting down next to me. "You know I went to your place a couple of weeks after you disappeared. The owner said that you and Mike had broken up and he didn't have a forwarding address for you. I thought maybe you went back to your home town."

"No, I've been around. Things just got really complicated."

"So complicated that you couldn't stop by and let me know you were still alive?"

"I…I'm sorry, Sue. You didn't deserve that. No one did. I just couldn't."

"You want to share?" I shake my head no in response. "What are you doing here now, Bella?"

"My Dad."

"How bad?"

"I don't know."

Dr. Pantra saves me from continuing when he walks through the door. I stand up, heading towards him. Being familiar with him professionally, I can tell by his stance that this is something I don't want to hear and something he isn't going to talk about out here in the waiting room. I follow him through the door back to the room where Charlie is.

"Bella, I think you were right. I've sent Mr. Swan down to imaging for a CT Scan and an MRI. Can you tell me if anything has happened lately, maybe a fall or something that physically jarred him?" I run the last few months over in my head.

"He was at the police station awhile ago and, while he was there, he had a major melt down. It took five police officers to restrain him. He's had a few incidents where he got really mad but it's been worse since the police station," I explain.

"I'm going to admit him to the hospital, run a few more tests and run things past a few of my colleagues. I need you to sign a few medical releases for me. I wish I had better news but, Bella, I have to warn you, your father may be like this permanently." Dr. Pantra hands me a folder and a pen. The folder is filled with privacy act papers and release forms. I sit in the chair. The pen is heavy in my hand. I sign every single page. I know Dr. Rick Pantra will do everything he can and then some. I've seen it before and that's why I came back here.

Sue's gone when I get back to the waiting room. I feel numb and cold. _Not __liking __the __news __I __was __just __given, __I __wonder __if __this __nightmare __will __ever __end. __Maybe __it __would __have __been __better __if __Charlie __had __died __that __night. __Maybe __I __could __have __moved __on __then. __I __have __to __stop __thinking __like __this. __It __isn't __right. __That's __my __dad __back __there __no __matter __what. __As __long __as __he __fights,_I have to fight too_._

"Bella, are you still driving the dumpy old car?" I look up to see Sue return. I nod. Yup, I'm still driving the same car I was when I worked here. She dangles a set of keys in front of me and I start laughing. Deja Vu. We both laugh. "You're lucky it was Patrick on duty. He recognized it and you never took off the hospital parking sticker." She dropd the keys into my hands then tousles my hair. "See you soon, Bella." Time is never an issue with Sue. On more than one occasion, during my time here, Patrick would find my keys and Sue would return them to me. I don't know why I always left my keys in the car, but I did. Just like today, Sue would drop them in my hands and ruffle my hair. I wish she could have met my dad before.

Knowing I won't be able to see Charlie until the morning, I head home completely exhausted. Before I can go to sleep, I have a few phone calls to make. Shepard's Landing needs to know that Charlie's been admitted to the hospital and then I want to call Billy and let him know what's going on. I think about calling Dr. Rossi and Mr. Jenks too, but I'm too angry at the moment. Why did they have to put Charlie through all of this? I should have stopped everything. I could have. It would have been worth going to jail. I decide to make those calls Monday. Hopefully, I'll be calmer by then.

**~~~~~TTL~~~~~**

I spend Sunday using a red pen to draw circles around help wanted ads. I even circle some that aren't necessarily health care related. I need the distraction that work can bring.

In the afternoon, I decide to get a cup of coffee from the Java Joint before going to the hospital and checking in on Charlie.

"Hey, Benjamin, how are you today?" I say to the boy behind the counter that has his nose stuck in a book.

"Afternoon, Ms. Bella. Wow, what is the special occasion? Two afternoon visits in the same week! And you definitely look better rested today." Benjamin smiles.

"Nothing really, thought I would come down and relax. The Java Joint is my only indulgence right now." We both laugh at that. "Let's try some tea today," I say, sitting down at the counter. I unfold my newspaper again along with my red pen and continue looking through the help wanted section.

"Why are you looking through the help wanted section, Ms. Bella?" Benjamin asks. His eyebrows pull in at the center, looking confused.

"Well, because I need to find a new job. What are you studying, Benjamin?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"That was smooth, Ms. Bella. I'm studying architecture. I'm hoping to qualify for an exchange program in Egypt this summer to study Egyptian architecture."

"Now that sounds cool, Benjamin. Beautiful buildings and beautiful cities. Please don't go over there and fall in love with some girl. You will break the hearts of every girl that comes in here."

"Every one of them," he smiles, "Except for you. I think you would find someone else. Maybe fall in love with the man from the other night." What a smile this boy has, and his English just sounds so old world to me.

"Only because you are too young for me, Benjamin." I grab my cup and take a small sip. I grab the sugar container and add more sugar."Who are you talking about? If you remember correctly, I fell asleep," I say, reminding him I have no idea what he's talking about, or whom.

"Oh, I thought, I thought you knew him," Benjamin says, looking panicked. "He's been coming around the last few months. He seems nice enough. Quiet though, like you. He usually sits in back but you where were first, so he sat at the counter for awhile. First time I've talked to him. I was going to wake you up but he asked me not to, not until after he had his coffee. So..." Benjamin looked so guilty, I had to let him off the hook.

"Well, thank you for that then. I don't have time for another man in my life right now." I look back down at my paper and read the next ad.

"That's what was kind of funny. I didn't know you were engaged. I never see you with a man and you never talk about someone special. I thought that maybe he knew you because he was sure that you're engaged." I laugh at the thought. People are great at assuming things.

"It's all right. It's was a long time ago, Benjamin," I say, letting him off the hook while I circle another ad not realizing he's actually talking about now.

"You know…my parents are looking for a little help here at the store. It's not difficult. It keeps you busy while you're here. It's just a few hours a week maybe. Do you want me to talk to them, until you find something more regular?"

"Well, I'm not saying no, that's for sure. Give me a piece of paper and I'll give you my name and number." Benjamin hands me paper and I write my information down, before handing it back to him. Anything is better than nothing at this point. I fold my newspaper, returning it to my purse and grab my tea. "Well, thank you, Benjamin, but it's time for me to head out. I have somewhere I need to be. I'll see you soon." I hear the door bell chime before I turn around.

"Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear," Benjamin speaks and I look. Oh, shit. Messy bronze hair, intense green eyes, lopsided smile, and dark blue smocks. It's time to make a very quick exit.

Mr. Jenks has made it very clear that I need to stay away from the Cullen family. Granted, there is a pull towards Edward and it makes me want to tell him more than most, but it's not time for that now. Right now, I need to stay clear of him and Jasper for that matter. Edward's not movie star handsome but he's not unattractive either. It's not his looks that are enticing but his intensity.

"Don't let me chase you off," Edward says as I reach the door. I can tell he's trying to hold back a smile as I move to pass him but I falter in my attempt to _not_ look at him at his remark.

"You're not. I was already leaving before you came in," I say as my eyes drift to his lips that now hold a lopsided grin. The pull I feel betrays me as my eyes take in the rest of him on my way out as Edward holds the door.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

I don't look back but move quickly down the sidewalk, afraid to look back because the hairs on the back of my neck tingle. I wonder briefly if maybe he's checking me out but I don't want to know for sure. I grin at my own foolishness. Well, one can dream, right?

I finish my tea as I reach the entrance of the hospital. With Edward's distraction, I find myself more relaxed. I shouldn't be thinking about the Cullens and I shouldn't feel this pull, attachment, fondness, or whatever you want to call it, for Edward.

I check in at the nurses' station before I make my way to Charlie's room to see if Dr. Pantra has left me any news. I know he's suspicions of what's going on with Charlie, but he wants all the facts first. Knowing Dr. Pantra, he won't say anything until he's got a plan to help Charlie.

"Morning, Charlie," I say hopping he will say or do something other than give me a blank stare, but it's futile.

"So, how are they treating you, Charlie?" I say in our one sided conversation. "The room is nice. Too bad you didn't get the bed by the window. I know how you like the outdoors. It must seem strange not to be next to a window." I wait, hoping for an answer but Charlie remains silent, imprisoned in his own thoughts.

"I brought you that hunting magazine that you love. It's got a good article about hunting in the Goat Rock Region." I place the magazine on the table next to Charlie's bed. I know he won't open it but I try nevertheless. "I brought a deck of cards just in case you want to play a game of poker or something. I also brought you a fresh toothbrush and your favorite deodorant."

"How was the food last night and this morning? Was it good? Well, I guess anything's better than burning the fish at home, right?" I pull out a book I picked up at the gift shop when I got the cards. It's some type of western. Growing up, Charlie would read one every now and again. It's not my kind of book, but who am I to say anything. At least reading out loud will replace the lack of communication. Our taste in books are not the same but at least we both love to read. In high school, I believed I loved reading more than Charlie, until I found his stash at the police station. I smiled at the memory.

I open the book and start reading. By the time I get to chapter ten, an hour has passed. Placing a marker in the book, I put it away, retrieving the deck of cards and place them on the table. After a trip to the bathroom, I deal the cards for a game of solitaire.

With the cards dealt, I flip three cards over in my hand. I can play the top one but, as I go to place it down, Charlie's hand covers my play. I look at him but he still stares vacantly away. He removes his hand as I withdraw mine.

"Thanks, Charlie," I say noticing I can play another card as well. I make the play from its stack to the other and then flip the uncovered card. "I didn't see that play," I share while my insides are jumping up and down. On the outside, I'm acting as if nothing is different. Charlie is still in there somewhere and I'm flooded with relief.

Every time I make a mistake playing the cards, Charlie stops me. We play three hands in the next hour. I'm too afraid to leave and let someone know what's going on. I don't want this to end..

"Well, Charlie, thanks for playing solitaire with me. I guess it's time for me to head out. Tell you what, I'll leave your book and the cards and we can play some more tomorrow. How does that sound?" I stall to see if Charlie will acknowledge me but he doesn't, so I gather my things and head to the nurses' station to let them know how he's interacted with me.

At least now, I have hope.

* * *

**p.s. i have one vote for the banner with the police car. I would really like some input on this from those that have been reading. I have a special suprise for my reviewers. (It only takes 1 review). Once the story is complete you will recieve your suprise. Visit my profile and check out the links at the top then let me know... and no your vote doesn't count as a review...mauhhhh bwahhhh lol. talk to you all next chapter. Here are some recks for you all.**

**Rec's ;**

**WIP: De Immortalitate by Raum. Summary: "The life of the Roman patrician Antonius is put at stake by his ****father, Felix. When Felix brings to his only son a new slave, Bella, more ****reasons arise for Antonius' concerns. Felix's secret can change Antonius' and ****Bella's destiny." ExB AU/vampires. Copy and paste s/7116125/1/De_Immortalitate after **

**COMPLETED FIC: Fuggiasco, by kdc2239. Edward, homeless since age twelve is used to the gritty, hard life. Now twenty, his main goal is to make it in the world, and off the streets. What happens when a girl who seems to be broken beyond repair becomes his new shadow? Copy and paste s/5961148/35/Fuggiasco after **


	30. 30: Afternoon Java

**A/N Welcome back everyone. Give Batgirl and Storypainter a round of applause for their awsome Beta skills. This story wouldn't be the same without YOU.**

**I know I say this every chapter but I really like hearing what you guys are thinking while reading. Consider my reviews the same as cash. Lol.**

**We have a few new lurkers and reviewers to welcome. So welcome to TTL Lili82, DaniBanani78, tinnock, lynn1111, and Mizzdee for adding TTL to your alerts and favorites.**

**Thank you Jon, Dreamsoftheendless, Random Nonsence Unlimited, Cici G and lily82 for your wonderful reviews. They mean a lot.**

* * *

_"Well, Charlie, thanks for playing solitaire with me. I guess it's time for me to head out. Tell you what, I'll leave your book and the cards and we can play some more tomorrow. How does that sound?" I stall to see if Charlie will acknowledge me but he doesn't, so I gather my things and head to the nurses' station to let them know how he's interacted with me.  
_

_At least now, I have hope._

* * *

*~O~* TTL *~O~*

**Chapter 30: Afternoon Java**

I update my resume, printing a copy for each red circle. I take a few minutes to plot a route to hit each potential location so that I won't be wasting time or money as I make the loop. I'm glad I received another check from Jacob in the mail. It's the only thing keeping me afloat financially.

A couple of potential employers accept my application and resume. Each take a few minutes to do a quick interview, lifting my spirits. They seem impressed with my experience as a registered nurse. I don't go into detail about medical school. I don't mention the fact that I take care of Charlie at all. Not for the first meeting, but if they ask, I'll answer the question.

At the end of the day, I'm worn out. I turned in twelve applications in eight hours. As a reward, I stop at the Java Joint on my way home. I just need to see a friendly face and have some social interaction after a grueling day.

The line is ten deep when I arrive to get coffee. I grab the first available seat, deciding to wait for the crowd to dissipate. Kate and Garret are still here walking through the swinging doors behind the register baring large trays. Benjamin stops pouring coffee to relieve Kate of her tray while she opens the display case. I notice as the doors swing open that there is a full kitchen in the back. This is something I never knew. Kate fills the display with sandwiches and Benjamin returns to making coffee when the tray he was holding is empty. Kate quickly empties the tray Garrett handles.

I'm not paying attention to Benjamin, Kate, or Garrett, but the customers, as they come in and out getting coffee and sandwiches, when Kate sits a coffee down in front of me.

"Afternoon, Bella!" Her voice is full of spirit and happiness. It always takes me a minute to get what Kate is saying because of her thick Irish accent. She will never lose it and I don't want her to. It's too much of who she is.

"Afternoon, Kate." There's not a lot of feeling in my voice because it's been a long day. I'm tired and all I want to do is drink my coffee, relax, and get my wind back, before I visit Charlie. The last thing I heard was "_we're still waiting on tests results"._ I'm not going to know anything until Dr. Pantra knows exactly what is going on. With the physical reaction I have at the thought, it's hard to believe it will do anything good.

"Aye, it is at that. So why the long face, child?"

"Just a very long day, Kate." I rub my hand across my forehead trying to massage away a headache.

"Aye," Kate agrees. She's not going to pry. "Benjamin says that you might be interested in working here until your get back on your feet."

"He mentioned that you might be looking for some help." I don't presume that she is in fact looking for help.

"So," Kate looks me in the eyes, smiling before she continues, "Be here tomorrow at, say three, and I'll hand you your apron." She laughs at the apparent shock on my face. "We'll work out the detailes then. I need you trained by the time Benjamin leaves for Egypt."

"Seriously? No application, no interview, no job references? Just be here at three tomorrow?"

"Aye, child. You see, no one gets this tired being lazy. I know you only need a distraction for a short time, and I only need someone for a short time. So, we're good for each other, yes?"

"Yes." I can still look for work in my chosen profession, still deal with the Charlie front, and all the other stuff. Today ends better than it started. "Three pm. Tomorrow," she reminds with an infectious smile. I smile back and nod before heading out.

With Jacob renting the house in Forks, the difference between what I might make working for Kate, and my old job, there's not much difference.

* * *

*~O~* TTL *~O~*

Once released from the hospital, Charlie returns to Shady Oaks. The staff, now up-to-date with his condition, are more watchful for changes in his demeanor. I'm sure things will go more smoothly. I arrive at seven, for a short visit.

"Hi, Dad." Charlie's sitting in his chair looking out the window. Nothing's different. His hand still twitches and his eye still blinks rhythmically.

"I got a job today," I say, trying to sound more upbeat than I actually feel. "I know it's not what I was hoping for but at least it's work. Between this job and Jacob renting the house, I think everything is going to be okay. For right now, it's going to have to work. Right now, maybe it's the best thing." I can't help to think about Mr. Jenks, court, and the Cullens.

"I miss you, Dad. I really wish you would talk to me. Things are so crazy. I know I can talk to Billy about things, but it's just not the same. I did some research on James Turner. Did you know that he wasn't always this crazy person running around the country shooting people? I don't know what is going on with all of this but something is off. I don't know how to explain it. You identified him at the jail and I know he is the one that shot Dr. Cullen, but I feel like I'm missing something here. Dad, I wish you could help me figure it out. Why did James Turner go off the deep end? The way he looked back at Dr. Cullen, it was like he knew him or something and this was some sort of pay back."

Right now, Charlie can't help and, unfortunately for me, I'm frustrated.

"Dad, how did you run into someone like him?" I question, already knowing I won't get an answer. "I know you were chief of police, but how is all this connected? How are you connected? There has to be a connection." I ramble on for another fifteen minutes about the things that are floating around in my head before I decide to head back to Seattle. It isn't a long drive but I just want to go to bed and get rid of my growing headache.

* * *

*~O~* TTL *~O~*

At three o'clock the next day, I'm already in the kitchen at the Java Joint with an apron hanging around my neck and tied around my waist. Benjamin is serving customers while Kate has me help make sandwiches and gives me a little history about the Java Joint.

Garrett originally opened the new/used book store when the storefront now known as the Java Joint closed. The store next to it became open and, because the store was bigger, he moved the bookstore to that storefront and Kate decided to open a coffee shop so that she could make sure her husband got breakfast in the morning. Within a month, they had knocked down the wall and blended the two stores together.

"Garrett and I have always been a whirlwind. We married a month after we met and adopted Benjamin within a month of his mother passing away. And then we moved to Washington, and it's always been kind of like this for us. We've been here for almost twenty years now. I wish it was that easy for everyone." Why do I feel like she is talking about me, right in front of me?

"Well maybe you were just lucky. I'm still working on getting my life together and right now it's…overwhelming." That truly is the only way to explain it.

"If you ever need an ear, I have big ones…Just ask Garrett." We both laugh at her joke and it feels good. Kate doesn't pushing me to talk about things, she isn't offensive or overbearing, and I'm grateful.

"Thanks."

"Benjamin was right. You're a quiet one. You never let anyone through the gate, do you, child?" She eyes me, smirking mischievously, like she knows me.

I just smile back at her. I don't know how to answer that one. The only one I want to talk about this stuff with, right now, is my Dad. Looking back, I realize I've always been one to keep it close to the vest, as Charlie would put it. At least we have that in common.

Kate spends the next hour teaching me about the different kinds of coffee they make and how they roast their own beans to enhance the flavors. Garrett comes to help a short time later, lifting the trays of sandwiches and teasing his wife.

Lord, I wish I had my camera. I miss that part of my life. I click the button in my mind. Everything seemed so simple just a few short months ago. I wonder, briefly, if it will ever be that simple again.

Working at the Java joint isn't the same kind of work as nursing but it occupies me and keeps me from getting lost in everything. I 'm not as fast as Benjamin is, but after a few weeks, I find my own swing. Now, if I can just keep the Cullen clan out of here until after the dirt settles around the trial, things will be perfect.

On Sunday's and Monday's, the Java Joint is open until eleven pm and the rest of the week until midnight so the college students have a safe place to study after the campus library closes. (That's how I found the Java Joint when I came to Seattle, four years ago.) And when they come, they take over with their books, papers and laptops.

After a few weeks, I've gained confidence and speed working behind the counter. I've even memorized a few of the regular orders.

My first week, Benjamin worked the counter during the rush while I got my bearings and then he turned over the counter to me while he worked the back. It didn't take long for Benjamin to have me completely trained before leaving for Egypt.

Come to find out he'd already been accepted into the program, but didn't tell Kate because he was worried the store would be too much her. He contemplated not going at all.

Working with Kate today, instead of Benjamin, feels weird. Kate says she will work with me through the rush hour and then I'm on my own until closing.

When Kate, Garrett, and I sat down to work out my schedule, I told them about Charlie and about the legal proceeding I'm involved in. They assumed it was about my job and I didn't correct them. Both of them told me if I needed anything, anything at all, just to let them know. I nodded, too chocked up to answer.

During the day, I visit Charlie and wait for a messages from Dr. Pantra. I continue to look through the newspaper for nursing jobs and but not with the same gusto as before. Right now, it's for the best, and if I have to be completely honest, I like the fact that I get to see more of the Cullens face to face- most of the time.

Edward usually comes in mid way through the rush-hour, wearing scrubs, and sits at the counter or in the other room drinking his coffee and eating a sandwich. Others in his family come in randomly around the same time. It seems that the Java Joint is now their except Jasper and Alice.

Emmett usually wears a white shirt, tie, and dress pants. He's too focused on whatever is on his mind to give me a second look. I don't think he recognizes me from the police station or from the rehab center and I'm grateful for that. I don't know if I can forgive Mr. Jenks or the police department for what they put Charlie through. I'm trying not to be angry and bitter, but underneath everything, I think that's what I am.

It's a totally different story when Dr. Cullen comes in wearing a lab coat, white shirt, and sand color trousers. He recognizes me and is shocked to learn I'm working at the Java Joint.

"So, nursing doesn't pay the bills?" Carlisle jokes when I hand him his coffee.

"Two dollars and eightyfive cents is your change. Enjoy your coffee, Carlisle." I have to smile- I just can't help it. His teasing is infectious. He looks like he wants to ask questions but I cut him off, using Frank as an excuse, before he can.

"Hold your horses, Frank. I'm getting your coffee next." I turn around and hear the confusion in Carlisle's voice.

"You too, Nurse Bella," he teases, I think. I see Carlisle sit at the window table when I turn back around with Frank's coffee. I try not to pay attention to him and carry on with customers while he is there, but every so often, I catch him watching me. I wish Kate didn't have to leave early today. I really could use a break if for nothing else than to get away from the look that Carlisle has on his face. It's the same look I became very familiar with while he was in rehab; the _I'm trying to figure you out look._

Why do the Cullen men have to be so freaking curious and good looking? With Carlisle here, I know my luck isn't going to hold. It's not five minutes later and Edward walks in.

I can't decide if it's fortunate, or unfortunate, that I already know how Carlisle and Edward like their coffee. Being hyper-aware of them and the rest of the family makes their short visits almost impossible to bear. I wonder what our interaction would be like if there was no James Turner, courtroom drama, or Mr. Jenks telling me who I can and can't talk to. At least then I could be friendly towards them. The whole situation is about on my last nerve now that I have to see so many of them everyday at work. Well, everyone except for Jasper, and for that I'm glad.

I already have Edward's coffee ready when I turn around and set it on the counter.

"That will be two dollars and fifteen cents, sir," I say looking at him, instantly wishing I hadn't.

Though he looks tired, he's smiling. It's like seeing a little boy who gets rewarded for doing something bad. Arg. Edward just hands me money without a word. That stupid grin that shows just enough teeth, one side pulled up just a little. God, I hate this grin and love it at the same time.

He looks away first, and with a slight tip of his head, says, "Thank You." I hear the amusement in his voice. I try to figure out what's so funny. I know my face wrinkles as I contemplate this, but I can't figure it out. I raise an eyebrow at him as he walks away and over to his father.

_Jerk, irritating ass...ass, he does have a cute ass. What is wrong with me?My life is a double-edged sword._

I can't hear what the joke is or what's said but I hear Carlisle's amused laugh. I look away after being caught by Carlisle. I leave the Cullen men to their own devices while I wipe down tables and stock behind the counter stopping only long enough to help the customers as they approach the counter. Trying my best and failing to ignore them until they leave.

Seeing as it's Sunday, the Java Joint closes at eleven instead of midnight, only six more hours.

The lights are out, the door locked, and I have a can of mace in hand, as I walk to my car. I finally have time to think about my visit with Charlie this morning.

Charlie looked worse today. His eyes had dark purple circles under them and his skin was still pale. His hand had changed from twitching to rubbing small circles on his knees. Today, I couldn't get him to play cards with me like he had previously, but he seemed calm when I was reading to him. The nurses are paying closer attention to what he is and isn't doing now that they realize this is not normal for him. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that Charlie was tense about something when it was time for me to leave.

I breathe a sigh of relief when I realize I have the next two days off to myself.

* * *

*~O~* TTL *~O~*

I spend Monday afternoon out at the pier. It's one of the few spots that remotely reminds me of Forks. It's the smell, more than anything, that reminds me of First Beach and Jacob. Time had no meaning back then. Charlie hadn't been shoot and life was simpler, less complicated.

I'm afraid when I look at the bag sitting next to me. Has fate dealt me a hand that has stripped me of the joy photography has given me for so long?

Lifting my camera from my bag, unsure if I still have it in me, I hold my breath and peer through the viewfinder, focusing on the horizon, refusing to think about the last time I looked through the lens.

The sun is breathtaking at sunset, especially when clouds streak across the sky creating a skyline that's littered with clouds. Different shades of yellows, oranges, and blues stretch across the sky past the edges of the lens. The setting sun is red with waves of color drifting around its edges like a mirage in the heat of the desert. As I adjust my focus point and sharpen the view, I can see the sun reflecting off the ocean.

_Click, click, click._

I look around the beach. Here, I'm not hiding, nobody thinks twice about taking pictures and I'm not alone in the effort.

_Click, click, click._

Tuesday morning, I look at the shots of the beach. On one hand, I was terrified I would see something horrible; on the other, I felt elated feeling the same tingle of joy as I pressed the button on the camera. Things are going to be different from here on out, and I have to figure out how all the new pieces of my life will fit back together.

* * *

*~O~* TTL *~O~*

Wednesday.

"Why are you here early, Bella?" Kate asks as I sneak into the kitchen to grab my apron.

"I was visiting my dad today and decided to just come to work instead of heading home for a few minutes."

"I bet it was nice. You are a good child to visit him so much.." I just shrug and move the conversation in a different direction.

"So, have you heard from Benjamin since he left?" Kate lifts an eyebrow and I turn beeat red being busted changing the subject.

"He called after he landed. He was waiting for someone from the program to pick him up. He's very excited about it."

"I'm glad. He told me once that only a few people are accepted each year. He's probably worked really hard to get there." Keeping the subject on Benjamin is easy. Kate lets me get away with it - for now.

I start my shift, and thirty minutes later, Kate and Garrett bring out the sandwiches. The line gets deeper so Garrett jumps in to help me by making coffee and tea as I call them out to him. After the rush, Kate and Garrett leave to go on a date.

Now, with less than an hour to go, I turn when the bell on the door rings only to see a very tired, almost aged looking, Edward come in. I'm already making his coffee when he takes a seat at the far end of the counter. He has his head buried in his hands when I set his coffee in front of him. He looks so tired, I take pity on him, not charging him for the coffee.

I make myself busy behind the counter. I can imagine, being an intern once myself, what has caused this tired, disheveled look. I feel bad for him and give him space. I've always been a sucker for a stressed out, exhausted person that keeps going,no matter what.

I wipe down the tables, noticing Edward hasn't sipped his coffee yet. In fact, I don't think he's moved a muscle since he sat down.

"Hey, Edward…your coffee is getting cold." I let my hand touch his shoulder giving him a gentle nudge when he doesn't answer. His body jerks and his hands move away from his face. He sits up straighter as his hands move around his cup of coffee. He doesn't look up before he takes a drink and then shrugs his shoulders.

"Thank you," he says, placing his cup back on the counter but holding it tightly.

"Is it still hot enough?" I gesture to his cup. He nods his reply and takes another sip.

"Okay, as long as it's still hot enough." I end the conversation and start cleaning up and preparing to close the store. I'm trying to put distance between us but he's making it hard to do, and I can't blame it all on him because I'm making it hard too.

"Did I do something to piss you off?" Edward asks. I'm confused by his blunt question.

"Hum…No, not that I can think of." _Other than being cute as hell when you're exhausted_, but I don't say that part out loud.

"Okay. Then why do I get the feeling that you're avoiding me?" _Because I am,_my head yells_._

"Would it help if I said I wish I could explain, but right now, I can't?" Charlie always said honesty is the best policy.

"Not really." Edward continues looking at his coffee. I start filling coffee stir sticks and creamer packets avoiding the tension. After what I said, I don't know how to start ove,r so I let Edward make the next move, hoping he will let it drop. I continue wiping the back counter. With my back to him an awkward silence fills the room,

"We've talked about what happened to my family, so you can imagine how crazy my life has been lately." Edward isn't looking at me but into the bottom of his coffee cup. I look up at the ceiling letting my shoulders drop in defeat. I want to be his friend. I want to listen to his story and Edward wants to talk. I feel bad thinking about letting him talk to himself.

"Yes, I can imagine," I start in a normal voice and then I turn to the swinging doors of the kitchen and silently add "_too bad I don't have to_." I grab a box of coffee from under the counter before I return. Edward watches me as I come back to the counter.

"Do you think you really understand what my family is going through?" His voice is low and full of venom. I don't like angry Edward and I'm afraid to answer. "I thought we could be friends…"

With a burst of irritation, I answer back.

"Well, I'm sorry…I'm not a good friend for you so we shouldn't…" and before I can finish "be friends right now," Edward is out of his seat walking towards the door.

"Everyone needs friends, Bella," he barks, departing through the door.

_Shit, maybe it's better this way…at least for right now_. He doesn't look back as I watch him leave. His coffee cup left on the counter is getting cold.

*~O~* TTL *~O~*

* * *

**Still taking votes on Banners for TTL. Make sure you put in your two cents. It's the only time it will effect the outcome. lol. Links are posted on my profile.**

**Read, review, and re-tell, click click click. Now, runs and hide so, you can't kill me...lol.**

**OOPS, FORGOT TO TELL EVERYONE. I have a real world rec for you. One of our owns has an original fic called, Off The Red Carpet, which was recently published by Amazon Kindle and Barnes & Noble Nook (Both are e-book formats). Go over and take a look...IT'S WORTH IT.**

WIP: **The Morphing Games**, by orringtonrose. Twenty-four names drawn at random, by the end all but one will be dead. The final survivor receives the ultimate prize: immortality. My name is Bella Swan, and I'm a Prospective in the 100th Morphing Games. There's only one problem: I don't want to win.

Copy and Paste** /s/7397213/1/** after

COMPLETED FIC: **Tips for a Better Living**, by adorablecullens. Edward is a self-centered college drop-out, waiting on tables and living an empty life. Redemeption arrives in the guise of a quirky customer who offers him some much-needed advice for happiness. Does Edward have the character to rise to the challenge?

Copy and Paste **/s/5792015/1/Tips_for_Better_Living** after


	31. 31: Sleep Deprived and Bitch Slapped

A/N - **This chapter s grueling to write and will probably be grueling to read. Originally I was going to chop it in half until I realized I had posted the dream sequence twice. But it's still a little longer than normal. Thank you Emergency Beta Services - LJ Summers, for your help me find the right words for this one. Thank you Batgirl and Storypainter for your awesome beta skills and friendship. Thank you pixibella, Miaisabella4ff, and aiden for being my pre-readers. Hope none of you want to kill me, when you review at the end of it. (Hides and locks the door. "Nobodies home!") **

Thank you reviewers, artfully, (I would have messanged you, but you have them turned off), Cici G, Random Nonsence Unlimited, lili82, dreamsoftheendles, and Nerdette.

Just think within the next 4/5 chapters you'll know everything (well almost everything) that I know. lol.

Thank you Nik2010 for adding this story to your favorites and alerts. Thank you Mizdee for adding your alert. I hope you like it enough to add it to your favorites as well.

And everyone, Please feel free to pimp this story anytime to anyone...

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE, SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.**

* * *

**Chapter 31: Sleep Deprived and Bitch Slapped**

_She's beautiful sitting there in a rocking chair, her hand gliding across the roundness of her middle. Her hair, a deep red, reminds me of flames, dancing around her face. She speaks softly, her eye's filling with tears of love. Behind her is an empty crib decorated in pink daisies. _

_I watch her from the door frame as her stomach tightens and pain grips her face. Her eyes close hard and she grips the arms of the rocker. Tears roll down her cheeks and there is terror in her voice as she speaks._

"_It's too early. Something's wrong. It's too early."_

_The room fills with laughter and her face grows pale as she looks at me. _

"_It's the drugs, Victoria, and it's perfect timing, actually. You'll be dead along with that blood sucking parasite. You'll bleed to death and everyone will blame it on your inigma and no one will be the wiser." I watch as my hand reachs down, grabbing her wrist forcefully but it's a man's hand and not mine that I see._

_I watch, horror stricken, as she's forced over to the bed into a squatting position, her wrists bound too her bed. Her tears come harder and harder as she begs, in vain. Her stomach tightens further, causing her to scream out._

"_It's okay to scream. It's healthy. It helps your body relax. Your body is doing all the work for me. The suckling will be here before you know it."_

_Slowly white sheet began to turn red as blood flows from her body._

"_Don't worry, Vic, it won't be much longer now. Stop fighting and screaming because if anyone arrives before you're dead, I'll have to kill them too." _

_On the floor sitting next to her is a bowl filled with water and another filled with washcloths. His hands grab a washcloth and submerge it into the water then wipe at the blood. Her legs are brought forward as she screams again in pain. Her knees and feet are forced apart._

_I see curly strands of red hair moving towards freedom as she screams again. The towels and sheets are now covered in blood as the tiny body slides from her body before it disappears._

_Victoria's screams fade but are replaced with the cries of another. Victoria begs to see her newly born daughter, her eyes now stained red from ruptured vessels. Helplessly, I watch the needle being pushed into her arm and the black plunger move closer to her skin. _

"_It's okay, Victoria, this part will be painless, I promise. It will just quicken the inevitable."_

_Blood pools at her feet, up her legs, and around her middle. The ropes dangle, no longer holding her prisoner. Her body slumps to the floor as she continues to beg, her life essence slowly escaping as the blood around her swells. The last word spoken is to her beloved as she whispers to him for salvation. _

"_James."_

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The sound comes from the direction of the living room.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

I look at the red numbers floating in the dark above my nightstand; 7:15. I roll over and pull the pillow over my head. Getting home late and to sleep even later, does not put me in the mood to answer the door this early. Especially after waking several times from nightmares, gasping for air, clutching my chest, and sweat dripping from my brow.

Maybe if I lay here, whoever is at the door will go away. If it's Jacob, he can find some other place to have breakfast. I'm not ready to get up because the way I talked to Edward last night kept me restless. I still feeling guilty about it.

With the continued banging at the front door, it's obvious they're not going away anytime soon.

"This had better be good or you're fucking dead, Jacob," I yell, leaving my bedroom. He's the only one I know that would be this rude this early in the morning. Another loud serious of bangs come from the front door.

"I'm coming already! Do you know what fucking time it is?" I yell as I fumble with the locks and open the front door.

"Are you, Ms. Isabella Swan?" An older man outside my door that I don't recognize asks. It's definitely not Jacob. I stop the door halfway. His hair is cut short and I can only make out that it's black. He has one of those cheesy mustaches like Charlie and he looks about the same age. He's dressed in a dark blue suit and there's a police officer standing back about ten feet. I close my eyes for a second as I try placing my brain in a more respectful frame.

"Ya…yes, I'm, Isabella Swan. What can I do for you Mr.…?" I leave my sentence hanging, hoping that he fill in the blank. He doesn't, and instead of letting me know who is at my door at 7:15 in the morning, he hands me an envelope. Automatically, I reach for the envelope, and as soon as it's in my fingers, the man turns and walks away, along with the officer, never giving me his name.

I shut and lock my door, dropping the envelope on the table and going back to bed. Just a few more hours, and then I will get up and read the ominous letter.

_It is dark all around me. The wind howls through the trees. I step forward, stumbling towards a light in the distance. There, three figures stand under the light but it was too far away to see clearly._

_I focus until they come into view with startling clarity. Every detail of their being magnified fifty to a hundred times. Two men and a woman. _

_One man is in physical control of the woman as the other man begs him not to do this. In between each movement is blackness, nothing. It's as if the lights are being turned off and on in rapid succession. It's disarming and terrifying as the black and white scene unfolds._

_One victim falls to the ground just before the lightning flashes and the thunder clamors at a high volume causing ringing in my ears. I can't hear the exchange as the second victim falls to the ground. The whole scene is filtered with an unnatural red. _

_His grin is vicious and filled with pleasure as he watches the wetness begin to soak the other's shirt._

_I'm running and running but unable to get closer. I'm screaming but nobody seems to hear. I finally reach the fallen bodies, but it's too late. Their hearts are silent and no longer push the blood through their veins or out of their wounds. I scream and scream because I'm too late._

_I'm wrapped in blackness as a pair of haunted green eyes find mine but turn away. _

"_Everyone needs friends."_

And if fate isn't already an ugly harpy, she has to throw another hitch into my day. No sooner than I close my eyes and started to drift back to sleep, my phone starts ringing. I ignore it and let it go to voice mail. I should have known better but I'm too tired to care. No one ever calls me.

Immediately after hearing the beep from my phone, signaling a new voice-mail, my phone starts to ring again. The third time this happens, I grab my phone

"What!" I snarl. I'm tired and cranky and now pissed off that fate will not allow me to sleep. Today, whoever is calling me is going to know they've messed up by calling. Lord, that's what voice-mail is for, right?

"Um…Good Morning, Ms. Swan. I'm sorry to disturb you this early in the morning. I'm Heidi, Charlie's nurse at Shepard's Landing. I'm, calling to notify you that we had your dad transported to the hospital this morning," she explains.

Shit! I close my eyes and sit up on the edge of my bed, trying to focus. I should have known; nobody calls me unless it's an emergency.

"I'm sorry, Heidi. Please forgive me. Can you tell me what happen?" I breathed in deeply and released my breath slowly. I really don't know how much I can take this morning on three hours of sleep.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Swan, I really don't know what was going on this morning. I went in to check on him and he was pounding on the table and he wouldn't stop. At first, I don't think much of it, but the longer I was with him, the more demanding the pounding became. I was afraid it might be something serious so I had him transferred to the hospital. It's precautionary, but I thought you would like to know."

"Thank you Heidi, I appreciate it. I'll be in touch. You did the right thing."

We both say goodbye and I try to pull myself together. I drag myself to the bathroom for a shower. Looking in the mirror, I cringe because, honestly, I look like shit. My hair is poking out everywhere on one side of my head and the other is matted flat. My eyes are dark and my skin is more pale than usual. My lips are swollen from where I bit them during the night to keep from screaming during one of my nightmares. I want to scream again because my nightmare has become reality.

Once in the shower, I let the hot water bring me out of my sleep deprived haze as another nightmare, reality, decides it needs to be reviled.

I'm lost, thinking about the nightmare from last night, until the cold water brings me back to the present. I get dressed in simple pants and shirt. I grab my car key, purse, and that stupid envelope sitting on the table and make my way out the door.

Now that I'm at the hospital, I walk the hall to Charlie's room. He's lying on his side, so after rolling him onto his back, I use the controls to lift the head of his bed so he's sitting at a forty-five degree angle. I open a book and read from where I ended before. After several chapters, I decide to play solitaire instead.

As the plays become harder to make, Charlie makes his move. Without looking, he points to a card and then where it should go, so, I follow his lead as Charlie tries to interact. At least there is something going on in that head of his, and it helps me relax and believe that everything is going to be okay.

After several rounds, Charlie starts tapping on the table, and at first, it's soft with time between the tapping, but after time, he bangs on the table, louder and quicker. I'm watching, trying to figure out what he wants. The pattern seems familiar but I can't place it.

"Charlie, I know you're trying to tell me something but I don't know what it is." I hear the frustration in my voice and wonder if Charlie is just as frustrated. As if he can read my mind, he gives me his answer.

I want to pull my hair out, frustrated, as Charlie pushes the cards off the table, scattering them across my lap, the bed, and the floor. Taking a deep breath, and letting it pass from me slowly, get down on my hands and knees to pick up the cards. I've never have been a fan of fifty-two card pick up. Charlie continues to tap on the table, and when I look up, ready to yell, the memory comes flashing back.

_I'm ten, sitting in a chair at the end of my dad's desk at the police station. Fridays, after school, the bus would drop me off here, instead of at home. My books are spread out as I do my homework. Charlie snickers, at what I didn't know, then reaches over the desk and drops his pen._

"_Bella, would you get me my pen, please?"_

"_Yes, Daddy." I drop from the chair, picking up the pen and handing it back. When I go back to doing my homework, there is a folded piece of paper lying there with my name written on top. _

_Dad sits there tapping his fingers on the desk, until I open the note and read what's written._

"_Just so you always know, I love you."_

I look up at my Dad, wearing a big grin.

"Fifty-two card pick up, really, Dad? Why didn't you just ask?" I stop what I'm doing and pull out paper and pen from my purse and place it on the desk, then finish picking up the cards. Charlie's done writing before I'm done collecting cards.

As I suspected, there's a note waiting on the desk. I put the cards in my purse and then pick up the note. I feel the prick of disappointment when my name isn't written at the top of the message. His note only confuses.

"Dad, who is Amanda Coop?" Somehow, the name sounds familiar but I can't place from where.

I arrive at work with plenty of time to spare before it's time to start my shift. Kate and Garrett bring out sandwiches and a line starts to form. I try to stepup and help, but Kate pushes back from behind the counter and points to the seat.

"Sit!" Kate demands and thrusts a sandwich and coffee in front of me before returning to the customers. While I wait for the clock to move around and tell me that it is time to start work, I look through the papers in my purse, dropping the envelope I received that morning while looking at the note from Charlie.

_Why does that name sound so familiar?_

"Bella, what is this letter? That looks like an official seal," Garrett asks as he walks the length of the counter.

"I think it has something to do with court. I haven't had time to read it yet," I say, still reading the name Amanda Coop. I put the note away and apply some chap stick from my purse before grabbing the offending envelope and opening it.

"Ms. Isabella Swan, you are formally ordered to appear in court on- Shit, that was this morning." I look at Garrett and he looks at me. His expression causes me to laugh. It's disfigured into what I can only describe as, yikes.

"I guess I'll just have to go to the court house in the morning and figure out what to do?" I shrugged my shoulder. I wonder why Mr. Jenks just didn't call me and let me know. Nothing I can do about it right now anyway.

"I hope you're not in any trouble," Garrett says but it sounds like a question.

"No. It's probably about something I saw awhile back," I explain, shrugging off its importance.

When the clock finally says it's time to work, I grab a fresh apron, tying it around my neck and behind my back. I throw kisses at Kate and Garrett as they leave for the night.

My shift runs smoothly, college students come in and go just as quickly, keeping us steady. Some take up residency at the tables for torturous study sessions. Some just sit and take a breath before they go onto the next order of business. I watch as the light retreats and darkness falls on Seattle. I stock supplies and make coffee. A few students ask if we still have sandwiches available in the back but we don't. I make a note to ask Kate if she minds me making more at night

I hear the bell sound as another customer enters but hear her voice before I can turn around to acknowledge them.

"Who in the hell do you think you are? What makes you think you can treat people like you're too good for them? You selfish…selfish…Bitch..."

Surprised and confused, my eyes follow, as Alice blows through the door like a whirlwind set on destruction. My eyes grow large as she angrily advances on me, coming closer to the counter. I offer her a free cup of coffee, hoping it will calm her down. Her chest heaves rapidly and I know that I'm the intended target.

As I lean over the counter, pushing a coffee across the counter, my head react to a force outside my control before I can let go of the cup. My cheek stings and my eyes water. I retreat to a standing position, shocked.

Her eyes look as big as mine feel. Her hands now cover her mouth while mine cover my cheek. I feel a sting but haven't yet registered pain. I stare in disbelief that such a petite women can wield such a slap. I don't know what to do, and from the look on little Alice's face, she doesn't either.

As the sting of Alice's slap becomes sharper, more real, so does my anger. And it takes all the strength I have not to retaliate. I mentally remind myself that slapping Alice will do nothing but place me on her level. _She__'__s__not__worth__it__Bella.__She__'__s__not__worth__the__effort__or__the__trouble_. I won't stoop to violence to solve this, though right now, the prospect of slapping Alice brings a smile to my face. I can picture every move my body would make and how her body would react. But I'm bigger than that.

The whole room is frozen, waiting for me to react when the door chimes again, but I'm too focused on Alice to notice who has entered.

"I'll take that as a no to the coffee!" I say surprised that my voice isn't harsh or angry, very unlike how I really feel. Alice remains frozen until a voice I recognize sounds. I allow my eyes to wander from Alice to the form behind her.

"Mary Alice…" he starts. His controlled anger is slipping as his eyes travel from Alice to me and back again. His face shows embarrassment, shame, guilt, and, finally, shock as he reaches Alice and turns her towards him and away from me.

"What did you do?" His eyes widen, as Alice starts to mumble something I can't make out. All I hear are sobs and hiccups.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Garrett's voice sounds as the bell above the door chimes again. Now, I'm the one in shock. What are Garrett and Kate doing here? I look at them, unable to explain.

"I'm calling the police and you," Garrett says, pointing at Jasper and Alice, "Have about five seconds to get the hell out of my store." Kate is already behind the counter pulling my face towards hers. My emotions finally get the best of me and frustrated tears spill over.

"I didn't do anything, I swear," I whisper as Kate turns me towards the kitchen. Kate doesn't say a word but I see the tension locking her jaw. Kate hands me a cool rag for my face and wraps an apron around her waist.

"Stay!" is all Kate says before she disappears back into the coffee shop. This is where I stay until the police enter to take my statement. It seems that I don't need to say anything as a customer caught the whole thing on video with his stupid smart-phone.

When everything is said and done, Alice is arrested for assault and battery, Garrett and Kate close the store early that night, and I'm sent home with the next few nights off.

Garrett and Kate have decided to catch a movie down the street, and as they were coming to the shop after the movie, they were nearly run down by an angry Alice. They ran the last block, knowing something was wrong and watched Alice, quickly followed by Jasper, enter the Java Joint.

* * *

**A/N I hope you enjoyed this chapter. 4 more to go once I get the nerve up to send the next chapter to my beta's. Hey, if you all see a mistake send me a pm detailing the error. All errors are my responsibility and not that of my beta's. What they get to work with is nothing like what you get to read. TRUST ME lol.**

REC'S;

WIP; River by CaraNo. He's new in Port Pines. She already lives there with her boyfriend and best friend. Most of them work together. He falls hard and fast. She's confused. And soon, he knows something that the rest don't. Not even Bella.

copy and paste /s/7436814/ after ff. Net. **And let me tell you the reviews are just as much fun to read as this story is...IT'S A MUST READ...LOL..**

Completed Fic; Fuggiasco by kdc2239. Edward, homeless since age twelve is used to the gritty, hard life. Now twenty, his main goal is to make it in the world, and off the streets. What happens when a girl who seems to be broken beyond repair becomes his new shadow?

copy and paste /s/5961148/1/Fuggiasco after ff. net


	32. 32: More

**So many questions left unanswered. Courtroom drama. Obviously someone knows more than others. Thank you pixiebella88 and Miaisabella4ff for pre-reading this chapter and batgirl and storypainter putting up with my P.I.T.A. behavior and betaing my scrawl.**

* * *

**Chapter 32: More**

My coat is not even in the closet before a knock on the door gets my attention. Letting my head fall back, I look up past the ceiling to God, knowing he has it out for me.

"What now, God. Did I piss in your Wheaties this morning or something?" I ask turning around and opening the door even though that's the last thing I want to do. I should ignore it and go right to bed, but I can't.

"Look, we've been through this already. I'm not pressing charges against Mrs. Whitlock. So, can you please leave me alone for one night?" I request of the two police officers on the other side of the entryway.

"Ms. Swan, we have a warrant for your arrest. Can you please open the door and let us in or step outside?" While completely shocked, I open my door allowing the officers to enter.

"Lord, I'm sorry. I thought they were the Devil's Wheaties, I swear!" I mumble to myself.

"I'm sorry, what did you say, Ms. Swan?" I shake my head to indicate my response.

"Ms. Isabella Marie Swan, you have been charged with contempt of court. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can be used against you in a court of Law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?"

"Yes."

"If you will please put on a jacket before we place you in handcuffs."

"Can I grab a change of clothes? I'm supposed to be in court in the morning," I ask.

One officer follows me to my bedroom, watching me, as I grab a suit jacket, a blouse, and a different pair of shoes. I hand them over as the other instructs me to place my hands behind my back.

* * *

"In here, Ms. Swan."

I step through the entry of the cell and listen to the metal clang as the door shuts behind me. I've been searched, booked, finger printed and photographed, and obviously, God isn't done with me.

"Ms. Swan…I really am sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just lost it earlier when Edward showed up pissed off. I know, I shouldn't have interfered. I should have stayed out of it. I don't even know what happened between you two. I've just never seen him like that before. I'm so sorry."

_Give me a break here, Lord. I'm trying to do what's right, but you're not making it very easy._

While Alice continues to ramble, I lay down on a cot. All I want to do is get some sleep before I face the judge.

"Is someone coming to get you, Ms. Swan?"

"No, Alice. Now, can I get some sleep, please?" I beg. I'm here for the night. At this point I'm too tired to care about much. I don't need another confrontation with a Cullen, or anyone else. I roll away from Alice, praying for sleep to take me.

It must have because the next thing I hear is the sound of the jail cell door being opened. I turn over to see Jasper collecting Alice.

"Let's get you home, Alice." Jasper says. If I didn't know better, I would think he has a soft side, but that side must be reserved for Alice.

"Jazz, can you post bail for Ms. Swan? I don't think she has anyone to ask." I breathe a heavy sigh. "Please, Jazz," she pleads.

I can hear the defeat in Jasper's voice as he realizes his wife is not giving up.

"Alice. No, not the eyes. Fine," he relents.

I roll over, looking at the two love birds. Alice has Jasper completely wrapped around her little finger. _There is one Cullen finger you can wrap me around._

Edward, Carlisle, and even Jasper seem to have this natural curiosity about them, and it's a quality that I like in a man. Maybe it's a good thing that Mike left. He was never curious about anything.

"Take her home. I'm fine right here," I state, ending the conversation. Pulling the blanket up over my shoulders, I shut the world out again.

"Rise and shine, princess. You have ten minutes to get ready before you're transferred to the court house," Officer O'Connor says, passing me my jacket and shoes through the bars.

No one speaks directly to me, except to give me, and the rest of the jail birds, directions on how to proceed. Standing, handcuffed, we follow the person in front of us, single file, until our names are called and we're seated in the courthouse. Only when our cases are called are we allowed to speak to the judge.

"All rise for the Honorable Judge Hall…You may now be seated." I watch as an older man walks behind the judge's chair with a pile of folders, looking across the court room. He takes his seat and shifts the folders before handing one of them to the guard.

"I have a special request to view the case of Ms. Isabella Swan, first. So, if Ms. Swan will present herself before the court, we will then continue with the rest in alphabetical order."

I stand up, presenting myself to the officer in charge. He releases me from the cuffs, allowing me pass.

"Do you need legal representation, Ms. Swan?"

"No, Your Honor."

"Do you understand what you have been charged with, Ms. Swan?"

"I do, Your Honor. Contempt of Court as I failed to appear to an appointed case yesterday."

"Are you the accused in said case, Ms. Swan?

"No, Your Honor. I'm a material witness in the case."

"You're the material witness in said case? What kind of trial is it that you are the material witness, Ms. Swan?

"Yes, Your Honor. It's a criminal case."

"What do you have to say for yourself for failing to present yourself in court yesterday?"

"Your Honor, I was served the summons at about seven thirty yesterday morning. Before I had a chance to review the summons, I received a call notifying me that my father had been admitted to the hospital. Your Honor, I am sorry that I failed to report as ordered to the court. By the time I realized what the summons ordered, the courts were already over for the day. I had every intention to presenting myself before the court this morning but was arrested last night after I got off work."

"Can anyone substantiate your claims, Ms. Swan?"

"Yes, Your Honor. Someone can call the hospital and speak to Dr. Pantra who is responsible for the welfare of my father, Chief Charlie Swan. My boss can substantiate the fact that it was almost five pm when I opened the summons for the court. If that please Your Honor and the court?"

"You won't let this happen again, Ms. Swan?

"No, Your Honor, I won't."

"Consider your punishment as time served. Officer Halley, will you escort Ms. Swan to criminal court...to a Mr. Jenks?"

I look at Officer Halley as he approaches me, signaling for me to follow. I'm handed my bag as I leave one courtroom, only to enter another.

Mr. Jenks is outside the door having a heated conversation with Carlisle and Jasper. The rest of the Cullens are talking amongst themselves. When Mr. Jenks sees the bailiff and I approach, he says something to Carlisle and Jasper, then excuses himself.

Carlisle and his family watch as Mr. Jenks and I have a less than friendly conversation.

"I bet the next time you're ordered to appear in court, you won't ignore a summons will you, Ms. Swan? This case was almost thrown out of court yesterday because you failed to appear. Do you understand what could have happened? He would have gone free and your name is public record now."

Right now, the frustration, fear, and anger that I've dealt with the last six months explodes. Mr. Jenks gets both barrels. Mentally, I aim and pull the trigger hitting him square in the chest.

"Look, you asshole, I lost my job because of this shit. I have had to jump through hoops to make sure my dad has been taken care of because you refuse to back off from this whole thing. You've pushed to have your own fucking way and in the process endangered my father's life. I've endured a lot of bullshit because of this. I have had to be rude to people I don't even know because you said it would hurt the case. My life has been turned upside down and scattered to the four corners of the earth. So don't you talk to me like I'm some irresponsible imbecile just because I don't have some fancy law degree. And, just so you know for future fucking reference, you should have called me and given me the heads up. My father was admitted to the hospital yesterday before I had a chance to open your fucking summons." I whisper and yell at the same time.

"May I please use the bathroom before you have to arrest me again?" I say to the officer. "This time it will be assault, and if you're really lucky, it might be another murder and I won't have to confess because it will all be recorded," I added pointing to the camera in the ceiling.

The officer just nods, stunned, and follows me to the bathroom. After I'm finished I return to the courtroom where I spend more time, step up, and do what's right.

* * *

Emotionally and physically drained, I check the voice mail I received while my phone was turned off. My nerves shatter, as I listen.

"_Hey, Bella, it's Dr. Pantra. We need you to get to the hospital as soon as you can. Please call as soon as you get this message." _

I know Dr. Pantra wouldn't call unless it's important. Shoving everything back into my purse, I look for Mr. Jenks. He's having a heated conversation with one of his assistants. I didn't want to interrupt but I don't know what else to do.

"Excuse me, Mr. Jenks, I just received a call from the hospital. So, if you are through with me, I need to go." Mr. Jenks just nods his head and waves me off not really paying attention but that's all I need.

I'm half way down the steps when I trip and fall. I gather up the few things that I notice have fallen out of my purse and then sprint off to commandeer a cab that's parked by the curb.

"Harbor View Medical Centre," I assert once I'm seated in the cab. Fifteen minutes, and thirty dollars later, I'm standing at the nurses' station because Charlie wasn't in his room when I arrived.

"Hi, I'm Isabella Swan. Do you have any information about my father, Charles Swan?"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Swan, Mr. Swan was taken into the OR about thirty minutes ago. I will let the liaison know that you are here though. If you would like to wait, the surgical department has its own waiting room." I nod and follow the directions that the receptionist, Tammy, details.

I stepped out an hour ago to get a cup of coffee and call Billy to inform him that Charlie had been taken into surgery. I still don't know the what, who, or why; just that he is.

Dumping my purse out on the table, I about shred the liner realizing that my phone is not here. It's lost somewhere between here and the courthouse. I can't call Billy, or anyone else. I use a payphone trying to locate my phone. It rings four times and goes to voice mail, not that it does me any good, because no one answers.

So, now, here I sit. In a plastic white plastic chair, in a sterile white room, a cup of cold coffee placed on a plastic white plastic table, an _Outdoor America_ hunting magazine next to it, wondering what is going on down the hall behind the two swinging doors.

I've been here almost two hours and haven't heard a word from anyone. I know Tammy let someone know I was here because she already had the phone to her ear as I rushed off.

I have the heels of my hands shoved into my eye sockets, trying not to listen to the stupid tick-tock of the stupid white clock hanging on the fucking white wall, for the last thirty minutes. I'm trying not to think about the entire day only to fail as the courtroom drama plays over and over in my head.

Charlie was right; it was James Turner that shot him.

Remembering the outburst in the courtroom makes me blanch, I want to throw up. I know there's more that was said during my time on the witness stand but the only things I'm thinking about are the highlights.

_I 'm so mad. I can't stop the tears after yelling at Mr. Jenks. Right now, I am in danger of loosing my temper. I don't like being this angry. I was raised better than this. Mr. Officer leads me into the courtroom, to the witness stand where I swear, under penalty of law, to tell the truth and nothing but the truth while Mr. Turner glares at me, and Mr. Jenks refers to me as hostile witness-again._

_I guess I pissed him off earlier. Now, sitting on the witness stand, I say something sarcastic. So, again, the judge agrees that I'm hostile._

_At first, the questions are typical. Please state your name for the court, blah blah blah. _

_Mr. Jenks establishes the link between SIM and myself for the jurors. _

_I remember opening the cover of the file Mr. Jenks hands me. The first picture, James Turner smiling after almost killing Dr. Cullen._

"_Yes… those pictures were taken the night Mr. and Mrs. Cullen where assaulted and left for dead at Cedar Park."_

"_And who took those pictures?"_

"_I did."_

"_Why did you take the pictures?"_

"_I was taking pictures of the couple as they walked through the park. I continued taking pictures because the light under the lamp was giving some interesting effects, when things just happened. It didn't register at first what was happening. I was so shocked that I couldn't stop taking pictures."_

"_Can you tell us what the last photo you took that night was?"_

"_It was the defendant, smiling at his victims."_

"_Can you tell us what happened after that, Ms. Swan?"_

"_I reacted by calling 911 and giving medical aid until EMT's showed up on the scene."_

"_Is there a reason why the police officers never received a statement from you that night, Ms. Swan?"  
_

"_The last thing I remember was thinking about my dad. The lights on the police cars were giving me a headache. And then I woke up the next morning on the opposite end of the park."_

_I know there were more questions from Mr. Jenks but I can't tell you what they were. Mr. Jenks sat down and the defendant's attorney stood to take his turn._

"_Ms. Swan, isn't it true that you are a person with an unreliable character?_

"_Isn't it true that you were fired from Courtyard rehab after being Dr. Cullen's rehab nurse?_

"_So, you were not fired from courtyard rehab?_

"_And this occurred in a small amount of time after you took care of Dr. Cullen. Is that correct?_

"_Is it not also true that you did not normally work on the rehab side of the facility?_

"_But you did in fact work that side of the facility until Dr. Cullen was released?_

"_Is it also a fact that your father, a resident of the long term care facility, was found on more than one occasion in the room of Dr. Cullen?"_

_I start to look between Mr. Jenks, the attorney, and the confused and horrified looks of the Cullen family that are currently in the room. I can't figure out where he is going with his questions. I have knots in my stomach._

"_Is it also true that your father's current health issues might in fact be helped with surgery? And that Dr. Cullen is the only local doctor who can perform the surgery?"_

"_I don't know. I-" the lawyer cuts me off._

"_Is it not true that the real reason you were fired from your job is because you forced your father's medical records into the hands of Dr. Cullen?"_

_I stop looking at Dr. Cullen's guilty face._

"_This is all about Ms. Swan's character and how she has been manipulating this whole situation to benefit her and her father's wellbeing and to prove that she would in fact go to any lengths to provide those needs."_

"_You may continue, Mr. Laurent, but I am warning you. You need to get to your point quickly. Objection overruled."_

"_Is it true that nobody knew that you were in fact SIM until it came out that these pictures would not be allowed to be entered into evidence unless someone stepped up and claimed to be this fictitious SIM person?_

"_And you are using this situation against my client to alleviate Dr. Cullen's guilt over the death of my client's wife four years ago so that you have something to use against Dr. Cullen to benefit your father and you would justify it by helping condemn my client?"_

"_What?" I ask, bemused._

"_Your Honor, I object!"_

"_Objection sustained! The court will take a fifteen minute recess. I want to see both lawyers in my chambers. Now!"_

_What the hell is this lawyer talking about? I look at the Cullens to see their reaction. Carlisle looks absolutely furious. Everyone seems just as confused as I am. _

_James Turner glares at me. I want to get away from him, so I ask the bailiff if I can use the bathroom while trying to put the new pieces together._

_What is this connection between Carlisle and James's wife, Victoria? Has Carlisle seen Charlie's medical record? Who let him see the records? I refused to let him see those records because it was not professional conduct. Mr. Laurent did some homework on me that's for sure. _

_Was Carlisle my patient at the time? _

_I splash water on my face and step back into the hallway. Everyone is gathered in groups. Carlisle and Esme are standing off to the side having a private discussion. Edward, Emmett, and Jasper talk until they notice my return and then they stare. _

_Rosalie and Alice are sitting together until Alice notices me. Before I have a chance to head in a different direction, Alice is in front of me._

"_Ms. Swan… I want to apologize-"_

"_Go back to your family, Alice. We're not friends and I would rather not talk to you, right now." I move past her quickly before she has a chance to recover from her shock._

_I need to talk to Mr. Jenks because I am not the bad guy. I mistakenly look at the hallway before entering the courtroom. Standing there is a very guilty looking Edward and Jasper. Emmett just has this big childlike grin on his face. Did he just wag his eyebrows at me?_

"_Look, Ms. Swan, answer whatever questions he asks no matter what. If there is more to the story look directly at me and I will ask you those questions on re-examination. Can you do that? Mr. Jenks asks._

"_Yes, I can do that, if you can get the Cullen's out of here. I don't think I can do this with them here, even if enough of the truth is out."_

_Mr. Jenks opens the gate for me and leads me through so that I can sit in the witness seat. _

_I notice Carlisle close his phone, then walk up to Mr. Jenks. He looks really upset and I wish I could hear the conversation because it doesn't look good. When they are done, Mr. Cullen leaves the court room._

_Back to business, Mr. Laurent is allowed to finish his questioning. The judge reminds me that I am still under Oath. _

"_Your Honor, I have no further questions for Ms. Swan. I think I have said everything that needs to be said about Ms. Swan._

"_Mr. Jenks, would you like to re-cross Ms. Swan?"_

"_Yes I would, Your Honor. Ms. Swan, can you restate to the court the contents of this file?"_

"_These are the pictures that I took on the night in question. And, for your information, they are out of order."_

"_What did you do right after taking these pictures? Please answer the question, Ms. Swan. What did you do right after taking these pictures?"_

"_I left my camera with the rest of my stuff and rendered medical assistance to Dr. Cullen and his wife."_

"_What happened after authorities arrived on scene?"_

"_I turned the care of Dr. Cullen and his wife over to paramedics. And then…" My throat closed up._

"_And then what, Ms. Swan?"_

"_I sat in the back of a police care until a police officer could take my statement."_

"_And why was your statement not given to the authorities that night?"_

"_Because I had a panic attack and walked away from the police car. The flashing lights gave me a headache."_

"_What started your panic attack, Ms. Swan?"_

"_I…was…flashing back to the last time I had to deal with a life and death situation." I could feel the blood start to drain from my face._

"_And was that situation and this situation similar?"_

"_Please, Mr. Jenks, don't... please…" I say, begging him not to make me answer the question._

"_Was that situation and this situation similar?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Why where they similar, Ms. Swan?"_

"_They were both shootings."_

"_Who was the first victim, Ms Swan?"_

"_My father, Chief of Police for the town of Forks, Charlie Swan."_

_"You fucking bitch… I should have shot you right between the eyes the night I had the chance."_

_As James Turner tries to launch himself over the table, security moves to restrain him. Chaos erupts around the room. My eyes never leave the figure of James Turner and I watch in frozen terror as he turns from the injured victim into a monster, and I know that my life has been saved. _

_James Turner gets close enough to issue one last threat._

"_Your days are numbered. You will know the pain I've felt since your father betrayed me." Security pulls him away from the witness stand and me. He continues to act like a wild animal. _

_The judge is trying to return order to the court room as James Turner is dragged from the room. When I look around, I don't see a Cullen, but that doesn't mean they didn't witness everything._

_After order was restored, I'm released from the witness stand, the jury is sequestered, and the case adjourned for the day._

* * *

**Sorry, i've been so busy this week that i haven't had time to put my normal rec list together. It was thanksgiving after all. I'll try to make it up next chapter.**


	33. 33: Waiting

**A/N Welcome back to another chapter. Thank you Batgirl and Storypainter for working your awsome beta skills on my comma adiction and past tense addiction. I think I've figure out when the best time to proofread and edit is. Right after I get a chapter back and work through all my errors that you have so graciously and lovingly pointed out lol. It's only taken, what, 32 chapters, lol.**

**Thank you everyone for your awsome reviews. It makes my day to see your reactions to each chapter. I can't believe we're at 139 reviews. Just think, after this chapter, there's only one chapter left before the epiloge. **

**If questions we're bats how many of you would beat me now. Lol. **

**Thanks Lili82, Dreamsoftheendless, Lamii, Cici G, Nerdette Love, cjtwilight, marysway, RandomNosenceUnlimited, Mary Alice, Sabi's Sookie, kristamcullen, jessgold94, juicygirl66 and goonyelm for the reviews, alerts, and favorite story alerts. They mean the wor ld to me.**

**ANY ERRORS THAT REMAIN ARE MY RESPONSIBILITY NOT THE BETA'S. I MAY OR MAYNOT HAVE TAKEN THERE ADVICE.**

**Chapter 33: Waiting**

I really wish someone would tell me something, anything, so I can get my head to shut up. All this waiting feels foreboding. All I can think is _Don't give up dad, I need you._

I jump at every sound, ready to hear the worst. So, when the door presses open, I hold my breath. Just to see the last person I want to see.

"Ms. Swan, I saw you drop this at the court house and I just wanted to return it." I reach out in front of me for my phone, without a word, completely baffled.

"Um…Thank you. You didn't have to do this, but I'm really glad you did, Alice." She smiles at me and releases the phone when it was completely within my grip. Jasper's standing behind her holding the door. He doesn't look at me but focuses on Alice. I know they know because of the serious expression they both sport.

"That's what friends are for, Bella," she says then quickly turns and falls in step with her husband out the door. Now, I feel like shit for treating her family the way I have, through no fault of my own. But I can't concern myself with that right now. First things first. I have to call Billy and Kate. I need to let them know what is going on.

Charlie's in surgery and I won't be at work tonight or tomorrow. What else am I suppose to do? I can't, and won't, leave my Dad.

The clock continues ticking away. I have a path memorized on the floor that I've walked over and over again, waiting for word about Charlie. How bad is it? How long is this going to take, and when am I going to hear something?

Billy and Jacob are on their way now, but it will still be a couple of hours, at least, for them to get here. Kate tells me not to worry about tonight and to let her know what's going on when I finally talk to her.

I can tell when the anxiety is starting to get to me. My hands and wrists are red from where they have been harshly rubbing against the other. My knee starts bouncing. I get up, walk the floor, and sit back down. I want to hear something, anything, about my dad. This is how the afternoon and evening play out.

I freeze when I hear footsteps outside the door. My eyes follow as the door inches open. I hear the blood pumping through my body and hold my breath, afraid to look at who is entering the room. I watch the black leather nursing shoes appear from the opposite side of the door.

"Ms. Swan?" a voice I knew a long time ago questions me. I nod my head before looking up. "BS, Bella?"

"Jill." I acknowledge. I met her while she was doing her clinicals for nursing school and I was an intern. She and I worked many long shifts together. It seemed like a million years ago. I stand up, unsure if I want to be sitting down or standing up. Her eyes are wide as she takes me in.

"I'm sorry it's taken so long to get any news. If I'd known…anyway, things are going a little slow, but Mr. Swan is doing fine so far. But it might be awhile longer before the Doctors are done in there." I let my breath out as Jill moves closer for a hug. "Why don't you go get something to eat? I'll find you when we know more, okay?" I just nod and sit down for a few minutes before taking her advice.

I do need something to eat. The caffeine I've been drinking is giving me the worst jitters.

Once I've collected some granola, yogurt and water, I move to the break area out habit. It hits me when I see someone sitting next to the window, I don't work here, this is an_ employee only_ area. So, I sit closer to the exit with my back to the room.

I don't want to see anyone, especially the Cullens, until I know how my dad is. I drift back to the days before the Cullens, Mr. Jenks, and James Turner, and compare how simple my life was then compared to now. Will life ever be that simple again? I ache for the days sitting at the park, looking for beauty in everyday life.

It seems like a lifetime ago, not nine months. I want that piece of me back. I will not go another nine months, submerged under water and, separated from life no matter how things turn out upstairs. I will resurface and start to actively swim life's currents.

Only when I get up to leave and see Billy and Jacob enter, do I realize how numb I am. I throw myself at the waiting arms of Billy and Jacob knowing they understand. I use their strength as I let the frustration of the last few months roll down my face. For the first time in days, I feel anchored to something and someone. Jacob's friendship and Billy's fathering nature lift me above the water and allow me a chance to fill my lungs with air.

"How's your dad doing?" Billy whispers as he holds me close with his right arm. I whip tears away before I answer.

"He's still in surgery but, last I heard, things were going well."

"How are you holding up?"

"Better now that you're both are here. How did you get here so fast?" I look between Billy and Jacob, waiting for an answer, and then at Jacob when his smile shows his perfect teeth.

"Well, we'd just be leaving Forks if I let the old man drive. What do you think?"

_It's good_, I think to myself, _to hear you so playful, Jacob_. So good in fact, I even feel a smile spread on my face. _Leave it to Jacob to break every speeding law between Seattle and Forks_.

"We tried to go up to the surgical waiting room but only immediate family members are allowed."

"So, I guess this is the best place for us to wait." Billy motioned for us to take a seat while Jacob headed for the food lines.

"Have you heard any news about the trial?"

"I have no idea, Billy. With what's going on, that's the last thing on my mind."

"I guess it wouldn't. Other than just being here, how can we help, Bella?" Billy's eyes are soft and his touch is gentle as he holds my hand. I ponder for a minute before I answer. I have a few questions and because I wasn't around at the time, Billy might have a few answers for me.

"Billy…I know this is going to sound really strange but…before…before Dad was shot…was he okay, or working on anything. Was he acting weird before he got shot?" Billy's stare is intimidating and I see the wheels turning in his head. Jacob returns and sits a tray of food down that should feed the three of us, twice.

"Why would you ask something like that?" I can't answer that question completely. I'm not sure myself but I have a gut feeling about it since James Turner's blow up after my testimony. Something is going on and I have to figure it out. I have to put the pieces together. If not for myself, for my dad.

"I'm trying to make sense of some things that were said during the trial, Billy. That's all, I promise." Basically it's the truth, maybe not the whole truth, but still the truth all the same.

"Come to think of it," Jacob chews and swallows his food before continuing, "Charlie was acting kind of strange a few days before when I stopped by the station." Billy's eyes snap to Jacob. If I didn't know better, I might think Billy's trying to shut Jacob up.

"What?" Jacob looks at Billy. His demeanor is completely innocent. Billy drops his shoulders in defeat. Jacob's said too much and we both know it.

When Jill finds me, I promise Billy and Jacob that I'll be right back. Jill leads me to a private room to talk. As we leave the cafeteria, both Carlisle and Edward walk through the door dressed in scrubs. I give them a confused look before continuing with Jill. Dr. Pantra joins us before I'm told anything specific about the surgery or my dad.

It's been three years since I left my residency,but I still know the technical language used by doctors. I understand why they're keeping him for a minimum of three days while they wait for test results to come back and verify if Charlie had a seizure or stroke during the surgery. They also want to make sure that there is no swelling of the brain. They are cautious, but hopeful, and everything seemed to go without too many problems.

It will be three days before they allow Charlie to wake up.

I return to the cafeteria where Billy and Jacob are still waiting. The food all but eaten, except for a sandwich Billy managed to save.

While explaining to Billy and Jacob basically what's going on, I notice that only Edward, Alice and Jasper still remain at the far end of the dining area. Carlisle isn't with them anymore. All three look away quickly as I return my focus on my friends. I hand Billy the key to my apartment and let them both know that I am staying here for a while before I head home, if I do.

Only one person can visit the ICU at a time. I've taken all the safety precautions necessary to be in here. I'm wearing a yellow surgical rob, a face mask, and gloves. Dr. Pantra checks on Charlie while I'm here. He doesn't ask me to leave, which is protocal.

"Bella, I want you to know that we had to call in a nero team for your fathers surgery," Dr. Pantra explains. "It wasn't a stroke or a seizure. I didn't believe it was anyway, given his recent behavior. I believe when the officers restrained him that day. During the struggle Charlie hit his head and somehow caused the bullet to dislodge. The surgical team agrees. We're in limbo right now. So, go home and get some sleep. You can visit Charlie before you go but there's no sence staying the night," Dr. Pantra finishes knowing it isn't going to happen.

The room is quiet after the latch clicks into place and the door stills. I take a deep breath and rest my head against the door.

For the moment, _Charlie is fine_.I remind myself. He's out of recover and currently residing in ICU. The surgical team agrees, for the time being, keeping Charlie in acoma is the best decision in case of swelling.

"Hey, you made it home." Billy says grogily. My body flinches, even as I recognize Billy's voice. I lock the dead bolt and drop my keys and purse on the table. I lay my jacket over the back of the computer chair before I crawl into the hid-a-bed next to Billy. He pulls me closer just like my dad did when I was a little girl after having a nightmare.

"Ya, I made it," I reply. Billy just hugs me and kisses the top of my head. I let Billy hold me and let my mind go blank for a few minutes. Seeing tubes and wires brought back the night of his shooting again and the pictures ran rampant through my brain.

"Billy have you ever heard the name Amanda Cope?" The name has bothered me since Charlie wrote it. Cope sounds familiar, but I can't place it. Amanda doesn't ring a bell at all.

"I can't say I have but there was a Shelly Cope that worked in the office at the high school. Maybe she knows."

"That's right. Now I remember. I think she has a daughter a few years older than me. I think her name was Amanda."

"That's right. Rachael and Amanda use to hang out sometimes out at First Beach before she moved away. Chicago I think. I bet if you ask Jacob, he'd know more than me. I don't really go to town much being on the tribal counsel. And you know Jacob lives in town now." I feel Billy's body vibrate with quit laughter.

Billy moves and I roll over burrowing deeper into the pillow. I smell food and hear voices before I open my eyes. I watch as Billy refuses to let Jacob make coffee.

"With your luck Jacob, you'll burn down Bella's apartment or I might have to buy her a new set of pots and pans. No way are you getting into this kitchen Jake. Now, go sit down.

"Morning, guys."

"Morning, Bells." Jacob's always been a morning person. I hate him right now.

"Coffee will be ready in a few minutes if you want to grab a shower or something first."

"Coffee first, always." I don't want to get up but I have to use the bathroom. Maybe by the time I get out of the bathroom the coffee will be done.

"You know how I like it," I say to Jacob as I pull myself up and dash for the bathroom, leaving Billy and Jacob giggling like girls in the kitchen. By the time I make it back out, the hid-a-bed is folded up, ensuring enough room for everyone, and a cup of fresh coffee is sitting on the counter waiting for me.

I slide onto the stool and grab my coffee while giving my thanks for the extra-large cup that Billy found to make my coffee in. After a few sips, Billy slide an English Muffin covered in cream cheese to me.

"I didn't figure you would be too hungry but you need to eat something before you start your day. I know how you can be when it comes to food, unlike my son who eats like a wild dog." Jacob feigns offense, and Billy and I snicker at his discomfort. I remember the conversation from last night when my cup of coffee is half gone.

"Hey, Jake, do you remember Mrs. Cope's daughter, Amanda?" I'm going to try to get this out of the way before I make my way to the Java Joint and then back to the hospital. I need to let Kate and Garrett know what's going on and find out how they want to handle things.

"Ya, I know Amanda. She was friends with Rachael." Jacob's eyebrows are furrowed and drawn together questioning me as he answers my questions. "She just moved back to Forks awhile back. Leah says she and Tyler Crowley are getting married pretty soon. . Why?"

"I don't know. I just heard the name recently," I say, brushing it off as nothing. But it's something, I just don't know _what_, yet.

After my coffee, I shower, change my clothes, and agree to meet Billy and Jake at the hospital in a few hours after they do some running around.

I spend about an hour at the Java Joint and even though I went there just to see how Kate and Garrett want me to handle things, I help out behind the counter as we talk.

"I'm really sorry everything is so crazy, Kate. I just don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like I'm letting everyone down."

"Aw, Lassie, you are doing the right thing, and you've nothing to worry about. I can't say I would be holding up as well as you under the same weight. Family always, always comes first."

"How do I find balance though? What if...what if this is the best it gets?"

"You don't. Balance will find you." Kate has that mothering look in her eyes as she dries her hands with her apron. She wraps her hands around my cheeks looking me directly in the eyes.

"You've had the calm before the storm. The storm has come to you as a test. The storm will pass, and when it does, the sun will come out, the seas will be calm, and your journey will continue." She releases my face, giving me a slight push towards towards the door.

"Now, out with you before I decide you're acting too much like my Benjamin."

I arrive at the hospital with a full cup of coffee and a sandwich which neither Kate nor Garrett would allow me to pay for. I smile at how parental Kate and Garrett are. It's almost as if the Java Joint and book store are extensions of their own home, and everyone that comes in—is a member of their family.

I almost have a heart attack when I enter Charlie's room only to find the bed freshly made with new linens and completely empty. I swallow hard to keep my heart and the bile that threatens to heave from me, in place. Looking in the closet and drawers in the room, I find no sign of Charlie, almost as if he never existed.

The heart monitor and the oxygen machine are off, pushed up against the wall. There's no chart at the end of the bed. My heart races and the sound of my own blood is loud in my ears.

I'm too late. Charlie is gone. I never should have left. I should have stayed! My dad was alone! My face is wet, my lungs are heaving trying to get capture enough air. The edges of my vision become blurry and the darkness that started out as dots at the edge of my vision moves towards the middle until no light remains.

* * *

**Well, shoot. Didn't mean to leave you hanging there. Sorry. **

**WIP: Beautiful Sorrow, by tothedreaming. Bella worshiped Carlisle, so when he proposed she didn't think twice before accepting. But then she met Edward, her fiancé's half brother & the other part of her soul. Will they be able to survive the consequences of their betrayal?**

**Copy and Paste /s/6886175/1/Beautiful_Sorrow behind . Twenty chapters in and IMHO reads like its own mystery, continually building to something and you can but enjoy the ride.**

**COMPLETE FIC: Dog Days of Summer by Risbee. Meet Poodle; he's about to turn Bella's day from bad to worse. Well, Poodle and his owner, Edward Cullen. My silly contribution to F4SAA**

**Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,317 - Reviews: 21 - Published: 8-2-11 - Bella & Edward – Complete**

**Copy and Paste /s/7244749/1/Dog_Days_of_Summer behind .**


	34. 34: Possessed

**A/N:Hi everyone, welcome back. Thought I would kick out a chapter a little early and thanks to my wonderful Beta's storypainter and batgirl I'm able to do it. **

**Just so everyone knows it will be just before christmas, before I post the Epiloge. 2 WEEKS... This should give everyone a chance to post your thearies and questions. Doing that will help the Epiloge be the best one we can give you. You're the reader/review and without your comments I may not answer all your questions. And I want to do that.**

**EPOV is in the works and has completely taken a life of its own so you're going to want to keep an eye for that as well. I'm still shaking my head. **

**Welcome and thank you everyone for your reviews, alerts, and fav's. It's kept me pushing this story to the end. Lili 82, Cici G, DreamsoftheEndless, AmeliaKBedeli, nikkistew2, twilightalcoholic1122, goonyelm, Wayward Fool. **

**I also won't be adding anymore rec's at the end. I'm concentrating on EPOV of TTL and a story called Shades of Grey...song inspired and Caranofic. **

* * *

**Chapter 34: Possessed**

_What is that god-awful smell? _

"Uhg!"_ Whatever it is, get it away from me!_

Something touches my nose! _Oh God._ My head and hands thrash around, trying to get away from and push away the smell.

"Ms. Swan, , it's okay," a male voice says. It's not Dr. Pantra's voice that I hear, but one I'm familiar with nontheless. _Call me Bella, please._

"You'll be just fine, Ms. Swan." Charlie! Fear and pain stab at my heart. My eyes flash open to see a nurse and a copper haired doctor crouching next to me.

"Charlie!" My voice is hoarse and cracks when the sound leaves my lips. New tears spill over onto my cheeks. He's gone.

"He's well, Ms. Swan. He was moved to a regular room early this morning." As the words sink in, my body goes limp on the cold floor. Oh, thank God. I see the white ceiling with shadowy dots overpopulating the tiles.

"Do you think you can get up, Ms. Swan? The chair is just over here."

_Why am I constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop? Why do I think the worst possible scenario first?_ When I try to move, my body is lifted from the floor by strong hands-electric hands. My head is still swimming from my previous fright. I watch my hands shake as I work to control my breathing.

He said_Charlie is fine_. Relief washes over me as I comprehend that Charlie was transferred to another room and thus is not dead.

"I think it's okay, nurse. I'll take over from here. Ms. Swan, would you like me to walk you down to your fathers room?" I can't look at him. I nod my head.

"Thank you," I whisper, grateful for the help. My body still feels like it's in the middle of an earthquake.

"Here, drink this. The sugar will help! Thank you, nurse. Her blood pressure is back to normal. I'm just going to walk her down to her father's room. I'll be back in less than ten minutes."

Once I'm standing, I gulp down what is left in the cup and drop it into the trashcan by the door. My body follows as the tug on my arm guides me forward.

As Edward leads me down the hall to the elevator, I feel a surge of electricity tingle through my body starting where his hand firmly holds my arm. Though the touch is pleasurable, it makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel things I don't want to feel.

When the elevator doors opens, I reclaim control of my arm, removing it from his grasp.

"I think I can stand on my own now," I say, backing myself against the far wall just to make sure as he to enters the elevator. The elevator doors close. I watch as his finger causes the number two to light up. The slow, sudden movement of the elevator indicates we are descending to another floor.

If the music on the elevator were any louder, I would not have heard the words that the doctor spoke.

"I'm sorry," he says. But I'm not sure what he's sorry for.

"Sorry for what?" I return, speaking at the same level he used to apologize.

"For everything, for them not telling you that your father was moved, for scaring you," he explains. His lips continue to move as he continues down a list that I don't comprehend or hear. Before the doors open again I try to spare him any more guilt.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." I tell him. He really doesn't.

The door opens, Edward motions for me to proceed and then follows through himself. I wait for him to lead the way and watch the white fabric from his coat sway and bend around his legs just above his knees. I ask nothing further once we reach the room that now holds my father.

"Thank you, Edward. I appreciate your help and concern." I let the door crawl to a close on its own as I walk across to the bed where my dad is sleeping, unnaturally, from the drugs that fill the IV.

I sit next to my father's bed after kissing him on the cheek. I want to rest my head in the crock of his shoulder and neck just for a moment to let myself relax but don't. Using my hands and arms as pillows, I lay my head down looking up at my dad. He's so still.

"Morning, Dad. I'll be so glad when you finally wake up. So much has happened since you went to the police station. How long has it been now? Seven or eight months? Sometimes it seems like yesterday and others…I feel like I've lived a hundred years. I wonder how long it feels for you.

"I've been trying to figure how your day went before you got shot. I have all these questions that only you can answer. I hope you can answer them when you wake up! I hope this nightmare is over when you wake up!"

I use my fingers to touch my dad's fingers and I inch my face closer, wishing Charlie could comfort me like he did when I was little. I close my eyes and move his hand to my cheek. I relax under the weight and warmth of his hand, praying the contact is the result of Charlie's strength, not mine.

Time has no value while I wait. I don't move until my belly rumbles, reminding me I need to eat. Charlie will be mad if I don't take care of myself too.

"Hey, Dad, I'm going to grab something to eat downstairs. I'll be back soon." On my way down to the cafeteria, I call Billy and Jacob, letting them know Charlie has been moved out of the ICU. If they want to come by and visit, they can.

Billy says he's here for me and will visit Charlie, once the 'old man is awake, yelling to get out of the hospital'. I laugh. It would be like Charlie to do just that.

We still have two more days before Charlie's medicine will be done.

* * *

Sitting in the cafeteria with a mouth full of yogurt, a spoon in my hand, I think about all the questions I have. I still don't feel like I have all the pieces connecting Charlie to James.

_Does Amanda have anything to do with all of this? How does something that took place in Chicago manage to become part of my life in Forks or Seattle? What's the connection between James Turner and my dad? Why is this haunting us so much?_ So many questions but no answers.

At least it's quiet and I have time to think. At least until the Cullen tribe shows up.

Emmett, Rose, Jasper and Alice all sit together, taking up residence in the corner booth because I have the window seat today. They sat in my line of site so I don't have to worry about watching them.

_Don't worry, Rose, you don't have to be a bitch. I'm not the only one starring. You should give that bitch look to Emmett. I'm not the one being loud, and for a change, I'm going to sit here and openly watch all of you._

It's almost too easy to forget Emmett's a police officer, when he's dressed in normal clothing. He acts too much like a kid to think he could take anything seriously. Watching them reminds me that I don't know what the outcome to the trial was. I really should know before my dad wakes up.

_Alice, turn your little ass around. I'm still not talking to you. Ya, I know you don't deserve it but you're an easy target. You're the one that tries the most. Well, and Edward. _

_I really wish I had my camera because, you know what, the four of you always intrigue me and I always see something interesting when you're around. Oh, Rose, you ruined the picture. Sit back down. Why are you walking my way? Why are you looking at me like that? _I straighten up and waitbecause_ I know you have something to say, don't you?_

"Would you stop staring at us? I don't know what your game is, but you're really starting to piss me off." Looking at Rosalie's hands as they grip the table is definitely intimidating. I don't know what I'm doing or what I'm thinking. It's as if someone much stronger has possessed me and I can't stop myself.

"No," I state firmly, finally looking her in the eye. _What is wrong with me? Why am I starting shit with Rosalie? She can probably beat me to a pulp with no effort._

"Excuse me? No?" she asks in disbelief.

_Why am I so calm? I really should be scared, but I'm not. Maybe I have lost my mind. No, the brain is still working._

"No," I state again.

Rosalie pulls her shoulders back, standing at her full height and stares at me, trying to burn me with her glare.

Still possessed, I reach over to the chair next to me and pull it out.

"Have a seat." _What am I doing? Now, I know I have lost it. I'm just inviting her to kick my ass, and I can't seem to stop. Why do you look so confused Rosalie and why are you walking around the table, sitting next to me?_

"Now the picture isn't the same because you're over here, but…" I pause my sentence as I gesture for her to look at the rest of her family.

"Just look at your family for a minute. Forget that they are your family, and tell me what you see." My eyes are glued to the three sitting across the room as they watch Rose and I talk. I hope I'm not sharing the same confused look that's written on their faces. For a second, I wonder what they see. It's quiet between us as Rosalie looks at her family.

"I see three idiots staring at us," Rosalie states completely cold but not detached.

"Nooo…look more objectively and tell me what you see," I state again. Rosalie looks at me like I'm a mental case. I think, maybe she's right, and then she looks back at them, trying to figure out what I'm trying to get at.

"I'll tell you a little of what I see. Alice and Officer McCarthy share playfulness but when Alice is with Jasper she is more controlled. Passionate, but more controlled. You're over here so you're not going to see what I saw when you were over there. When you're near Officer McCarthy, you're not so bitchy." _Oh God, Bella, way to open your mouth._

"What do you think they're thinking?" I ask. "And why does Officer McCarthy keep wagging his eyebrows at me. Obviously, he's doing that to you, now, but he was doing that to me before you came over here. What do you think that's all about?"

"He's a big idiot." _Do you even realize how bitchy you're being?_

"Is he? From what I've seen, he really isn't, but wants people to think that. What do you think Jasper is thinking right now?" _Why am I still trying to draw Rosalie out?_

"Oh, My brother is easy. He's trying to figure out if he should get a restraining order against you because you're a stalker," she states. _That was…less bitchy. Keep trying, Rosalie, you're almost there._

"I don't think so. He's deep in thought, but it has nothing to do with a restraining order. Though he still wonders if I'm a threat. He is very protective of his family."

"Hmm." _Almost there, Rosalie, almost, because that was definitely less bitchy and more thoughtful._

"What do you think, Alice, is thinking?"

"About her next shopping trip?" We both let out a small chuckle. I don't know why I laugh because I don't know them. _At least you have a sence of humor hidden in there somewhere, I hope._

"You know, she is more curious than the rest of you and definitely more outgoing. She's the trusting one. It's funny to watch when she gets like that because all Jasper wants is her to be more cautious." The three of them are just staring at us, stare at them.

"Emmett does keep wagging his eyebrows at you. I don't know if I like that or not."

"It's not the same way he winks or looks at you."

"How do you know that?" I look at Rosalie because she was so close to seeing what I see until she let the bitch return. Her eyes are narrowed in at me.

"Because, when you guys aren't paying attention, I'm watching you. I watch how you interact and how you feed off each other and lift each other up. You don't see a lot of it outside a family unit. It makes me wonder what it would have been like to not be an only child or single. It's beautiful and gives me hope that maybe someday-"

Rosalie doesn't respond as she gets up and walks back to her family, essentially cutting me off. I wonder what she is saying that has all of their attention, and now that they are all staring at me again.

Emmett is the first one to move. He stands up and everyone watches him, but he doesn't pay attention. Our eyes are locked as he approaches. He appears curious about something. From my peripheral, I see Alice and Jasper's heads bounce back and forth between us like they are watching a tennis match. Rosalie just watches them and doesn't look back at me. She's still kind of bitchy but not completely. Her shoulders are rounded instead of pulled back.

Emmett stands across the table from me. I wonder what he is doing because he hasn't said anything. He's just looking me in the eye.

"Do you want to know what I see?" I only raise and eyebrow in response. Yes, never passes my lips. I want to know what he is thinking, not seeing, but I'll take what I can get. Isn't that why I have been watching all of them, trying to figure them out? His answer could be interesting. Emmett pulls out the chair across the table and sits down before answering. I'm confused, but I wait for an answer.

Emmett grins, a very boyish grin, before he answers. I don't want to, but I have to grin back. His grin has the same effect on me as Edward's, almost.

"I see someone doing laundry. You put all your questions into the washing machine, and when it's done, you're hoping to pull out answers before you throw the laundry into the dryer." Between the comical look on his face and the seriousness of his voice, it's too much. I have no choice but to laugh. I understand what he's trying to say. I'm full of questions and no answers. My mom always said I was an open book, and even if Rosalie thinks Emmett is an idiot, I know he's not, and deep inside she knows he's not either.

"Call me the puzzle master." I don't know where it came from, but it kind of fits. That's kind of what photography is to me. I realize that's exactly what it is, but I'm only concentrating on larger pieces of the pictures and not the background. I don't have all the pieces and something clicks. I need more background.

"How hard would it be to get me into a room with James Taylor to ask him some questions?" Emmett drops his smile. I watch his face transform from playful to cop. Maybe that's what I need. Someone in cop mode instead of spin cycle. Emmett looks back at his family. Everyone over there is talking, but Jasper stops noticing Emmett's look.

Jasper's expression runs through a gamut of different ones from confused to poker face before he whispers something to Alice and getting up. Alice and Rosalie watch in confusion before Rosalie goes completely bitchy, pulling her shoulders back and glaring at me again. Alice's grin is magical and excited. You can almost see the energy grow bigger as Jasper gets closer to us before taking a seat.

Jasper is caution until Emmett speaks and then he is floored with surprise.

"You want to talk to James Taylor after what he has put your family through—after his explosion during your testimony? Why? Are you crazy or something? Do you have a death wish?" Jasper almost sounds protective of me and it's obvious now he knows more about what's going on.

"Yes. I don't know. Yes. And No, I don't have a death wish," I say, answering his barrage of questions. Jasper looks to Emmett,asking silent questions. I don't know who was in the courtroom during my testimony but obviously, one of the Cullens was.

"I think she needs answers, Jazz." Emmett says out loud. I wonder what he said without speaking. Can they read each other's mind?

"Well," Jasper draws the word out as he contemplates his answer. "It shouldn't be a problem if he is willing to see you. Impossible if he doesn't. A verdict hasn't come back from the trial, so, he should be spending his days at the country jail until a verdict comes back." Emmett and Jasper look at me to see if I'm serious or not.

"When do you want this to happen, Swan?" Emmett asks and Jasper glares at him. Emmett corrects his statement.

"Sorry. Miss Swan. It's a cop thing." I know all about last names being a cop thing. Nobody back home calls my dad, Charlie or Mr. Swan, just Swan or Chief.

I look up, through the ceiling, like I have x-ray vision, thinking about Charlie. When do I want this to happen? Now, because I want to finish this before he wakes up.

"Now."


	35. 35: Epilouge: Awakenings and Endings

**I'm crossing my fingers hoping everyone enjoys the Epilouge. *Tips hat and whips away the tears* Thank you for your support everyone during this adventure. Batgirl and Storypainter I couldn't have asked for better people to walk me through all of this with my comma addiction and my lack of ability to spell...YOU'VE BEEN WONDERFUL. I'm glad to call you friends even if its the internet.**

* * *

**Chapter 35: Awakening and Endings**

The court room has more reporters than people who are actually involved in the case. I can feel the tension grow as James Turner is brought into the courtroom and scans the onlookers. I watch as his steps falter as his gaze locks on something or someone near the back of the room.

I don't have to look because I already know what he's looking at. I knew they would be here, even though he said he didn't want them here.

The Cullen family sits in the front row while Billy, Jacob, and I take the row behind. The Cullens turn and look even though they already know who James Turner is looking at too. It's a very bittersweet moment him before the guard nudges James to continue to seat.

I'm not sure how the Cullens feel about James Turner, but I can't look at him as an evil person anymore. He's a broken man and has been broken in the most violent of ways. He's still a human being. It's sad to understand how different things could have been for James Turner had certain events had played out as they should have.

Do I want him to get off scot-free? No. He's worked very hard at breaking everyone that he had contact with. He wanted to torture anyone he thought was a threat. He wanted them to feel his pain as their own. His interference has been life altering and constant. I thank the Lord that it is no longer the case for many of us sitting in this room. It won't matter to me how the jury decides the fate of James Turner. I have closure and, because of recent events, my father will too. Will it erase what all of us have been through? I doubt it, but at least we have answers.

"All Rise for the Honorable Judge Aro Volturi!"

Everyone stands until the judge is seated behind the stand. He looks around the room before speaking.

"You may sit. Please, bring in the jury." His voice shows no emotion and seems detached.

I think we all know this is a formality. We all know James Turner is guilty of shooting Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

I watch the jury being lead into the room. Only one man will look at James Turner. Mr. Laurent grips James' shoulder and receives a slight nod. He knows his fate.

We know James Turner shot Carlisle Cullen. I know it's because Carlisle was the primary doctor for Victoria Turner in Chicago. Even though she had already passed away, Carlisle was the man that called her time of death.

"Mr. Foreman, has the jury arrived at a verdict in this case?"

"We have, Your Honor."

"Mr. Foreman, will you give your verdict to the bailiff?"

A piece of paper is passed from the juror to the bailiff, from the bailiff to the judge, and back again. It's an innocuous piece of paper but what's written on it is sobering.

"Please, read the verdict Mr. Foreman."

"On the charge of attempted murder, we the jury" the man looks at James Turner in the eye during his entire speech, "find Mr. James Turner guilty as charged."

The outcome of the verdict is no suprise. The last two days light has been shed on all his secrets. During our conversation, he resigned himself to the fact that he is guilty and without excuse. There is no joy or sadness in the word, guilty, only fact.

The judge finishes up with the formalities and releases the courtroom after placing a sentencing date on his docket.

James Turner is lead from the courtroom with tears in his eyes after being granted one last look at his family. A family he refuses to speak with.

Outside the courtroom, I wait for Mr. Jenks. This case being his last before retiring. I want to congratulate him. It's been a long journey in a relative short amount of time.

The hall remains empty of the press. Reporters wait outside the building for questions and interviews.

"Now that everything's said and done, Mr. Jenks, am I allowed to talk to the Cullens?" Unexpectedly, Mr. Jenks gives me a hug, whispering in my ear.

"You can do anything you want, Ms. Swan, but this is not the last you will be seeing me. I have one more investigation to finish up and that shouldn't take but a few more days. Then, I will be seeing you again."

"Oh great, not what I wanted to hear, Mr. Jenks. So not what I want to hear."

"Go, spend some time with your dad and talk to whomever you want, Ms. Swan. I have questions to answer," he says, pointing to the front door. Mr. Jenks let go of me and heads out the courthouse doors into the lion's den of reporters stationed outside.

"Ms. Swan!" Oh, crap.

I'm engulfed in a hug by Carlisle and Esme before I can even turn around completely.

"Thank you, Carlisle, but I really need to be going," I inform him.

"We'll be there," Carlisle states.

"When you say we-"

"When I say we, I mean my family and I. That is, if you don't mind."

Four of the six present stand by the door, waiting for Carlisle and Esme before departing. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett stand on the sidelines. I hope they can all move on now.

Emmett gives me a quick wink and reminds me what we through in the last twenty-four hours.

_I walk through the metal detector's frame after placing my keys in the black container to my right. The officer behind the contraption pushes it into a hole that has a clear plastic barrier that flaps as the container connects with it._

_How long is this going to take? What happened to my nerves of steel? Melted I guess. My inter monolog continues as another officer uses a wand between my legs, around my torso, and ends at my fingertips that are stretched out from my sides._

_Detective McCarty flashes a badge and walks freely behind._

_After placing my name in one box, on the log sheet, I write James Turner in another. The man in uniform behind the glass instructs me where to sit and that it'll be about fifteen to twenty minutes._

_My knee bounces while I sit. Officer McCarty is like a rock, quiet and still. He's the epitemy of calm, unlike me. After what feels like forever, Officer McCarty taps my shoulder and points to a man and an open door._

"_Isabella Swan."_

"_That's me," I say,standing. The man motions for me to follow, and Officer McCarty shadows behind. Once seated in a large gray room, the wait continues._

"_Do you know what you're doing, Ms. Swan?"_

"_Not really, Officer McCarty. It's just a feeling," I explain. Before he can continue the door reopens and standing there wearing an orange jump suit is a very tired and angry looking James Turner. His eyes narrow and his face turns cold after our eyes lock. It's hard to swallow or breathe, but I do it. I'm scared shitless, but I do it._

_Once he sits across the table from me, his bindings are secured under the table. His custodian only steps back as far as the wall. This will not be a private visit._

"_What the fuck do you want, bitch?" Fear causes me to look away. I slide my hands under my thighs to hide how bad they shake. _

_I can do this, I tell myself, I can do this._

"_Please, Mr. Turner, I only have a few questions and then I'll leave you alone. Please," I beg. I only want an answer as to why he shot Charlie. When I look up, His grin reflects the menacing nature I've seen in just one photo._

"_This might be fun. Ask your questions, princess." _

_I let my breath out slowly before putting the first question out there._

"_Why? Why did you shoot my dad, Chief Swan?"_

"_Why? Why does everyone always ask why? Does it really matter? I shot your father because he was nothing more than a backstabbing asshole who decided it was more fun to play with my future than help me find out what really happen to my wife and daughter. He ran me around, pretending to be on my side all the while, conspiring to set me up for something I didn't do. That's why I shot him. If I get out of here, you and his flunky are next. Then,"_

_Pretending, flunky, Forks, Chicago, Dr. Cullen—What's the connection?_

"_Then, what?"_

"_Then, I'm going to take my time with Amanda."_

"_Amanda, Amanda Cope?" Did I just say that out loud._

"_I'm the primary suspect in my wife's death and that bitch disappears the day after, leaving me holding the bag. I've been tracking her for years, and believe me when I say it's not over. It will never be over until I'm dead and buried. She doesn't even have the decency to tell me what she knows. She runs and hides like the coward she is."_

_Hours later, back in Forks, Officer McCarty and I knock on the door of Shelly Cope, Amanda's mother, house._

_When the door opens, I think I'm going to be sick and my hands cuff my mouth. Shelly Cope is older now, of course. Her hair has grayed but her eyes are still a pale blue, but that's not what makes me feel sick._

_Wrapped around her waist is a four year old little girl with long red hair, a long slender face resembling her mother's. Piercing steel blue eyes, exactly like her father's._

"_Bella, Bella Swan, is that you, all grown up now? Please come in and meet my granddaughter, Jamie Vannessa Cope." With wide eyes, I can only look between the sweet faced girl and Officer McCarty. _

* * *

In and out of the elevator, I follow the lights in the ceiling to my father's room. I make a silent wish as I open his door, hoping to see him looking at me. Is it too much to hope that he knows who I am? But that's not what I see when the door is opens.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, looking at the familiar stranger standing at Charlie's bedside, scribbling in his chart.

"Monitoring my new patient's progress," he says so cocksure. "I've already started backing off his medication, so it shouldn't be much longer before he begins waking up."

"But Dr. Pantra is…"

"Was," he voices, cutting me off. "Was. This really isn't his area of expertise, Bella. My father and I consulted on his case until the verdict came back today. Dr. Pantra has turned his care over to us. Sorry you were left out of the loop."

Edward keeps writing in Charlie's charts before he places it on the end of the bed.

"Let someone know when things start to change." Then he's gone, and the door slowly closes behind him. I'll figure it all out later. Right now, what's important is my dad.

I lay my head at the side of the bed, placing Charlie's hand on my face and wait. With no guarantees what his mental capacity will be when he wakes up, I pray, letting _know__me_ become my mantra.

Quietly, I pray our wait is short, but logically, I know could take a while. I don't know how long I sit, watching for anything as a sign before I let my eyes close. The clock ticks.

I thrust my eyes open quickly when I feel his fingers twitch against my face. I grasp his hand and look at his face. His eyes move behind his lids, reminding me of someone searching for something. Is he trying to find his way out of the dark?

"Hey, Dad, it's Bells. You're almost here. It's time to open your eyes. As soon as you open your eyes, I have a lot to share with you, am, I'm looking forward to it."

Now, the waiting game begins…it's only a matter of time. My dad is coming back. I watch all the equipment and continue to talk, letting him know he's not alone.

It takes him a few minutes to wake up enough to know what's going on around him. The tears come so fast, he's a giant blur, but I feel him pinch and tug my hair. When his eyes finally open, I see the reflection of chocolate brown and recognition.

His voice is raspy and dry. It's just a whisper, but I hear him.

"Bells," he chokes as I struggle breathe. He knows who I am.

Using my free hand, I wipe the tears from my eyes. I'm so caught up with emotion that I don't hear the door open or close.

"You never listen," Edward comments as he moves around to check on Charlie. He finally stops trying to get me to leave the room when Charlie gives him the bird. It feels so wonderful to laugh even though it's not appropriate. Charlie passes test number one.

After a thorough examination and several questions, it's apparent it's going to take some time to bring my dad up to speed but I'm too excited to care, Charlie's confusion be damned.

After Charlie drifts back to sleep, I slip away, entering the elevator, for a short break. I need to let those around me know that my dad has a long way to go, but he'll be here with us for the long haul.

Before the elevator doors have a chance to shut completely, a hand forces them open. Edward stands there, wearing light blue scrubs, a white lab coat and a lopsided grin that does crazy things to my brain, causing it not to function at all.

After the door closes and the elevator starts to descend, Edward presses the emergency stop button.

This kind of scene only happens in movies, right? I'm too flustered to think, Edward stands facing me, his eyes locked with mine.

"Isabella Swan, when your father is well enough to return his care to Dr. Pantra, I'm going to come looking for you and ask you out on a date. You're going to say yes because we both know you're not engaged to Mr. Black." His eyes search mine for some kind of answer.

I'm beside myself and have no clue what to say or do. Before I can formulate and put words to speech, he makes his move.

It's short and sweet and when his lips leave mine, I'm left breathless and wanting. My heart races as he places his forehead to my own, his eyes still searching mine.

"Not a word. I've wanted to do that since the day I met you. You're an amazing woman, Bella Swan. I don't give up easily, so consider yourself warned. I hope I've made my intentions clear."

Trapped in the depths of green, I'm too befuddled to do anything other than nod.

* * *

**EPILOUGE**

The scene before me is bigger than it's ever been. For the first time, people arrive in droves, enjoying the art gallery, and as always, I'm watching from the outside as people invade the park.

It feels like a lifetime since I've sat under this tree, watching people move in and out of the Gallery. The only difference is, today, I'm not alone.

The last month has been a whirlwind of activity, tying up loose ends, bringing Charlie up to speed, and watching the chips fall where they may. It's almost taken keeping a journal to keep it straight.

Now, Jessica is back under the tent, looking happy, giving me two _T__humbs__Up_as she collects another number for her little black book. My ears still ring from the phone call a week ago when I asked if she was interested in meeting me and working the Gallery again. Jessica...always the professional.

Carlisle and Esme sit with Emmett, Rosalie, Jazz (as I've come to know him), Alice, and their two grandchildren, Calab and Renesme, enjoying the feast of a picnic that Alice, Esme, and I, put together.

Garrett, Kate, Benjamin, and Kebby (Benjamin's fiancé that he met in Egypt) provided the sandwiches.

Billy's stayed with me over the last month,and it's been nice having someone else in the apartment.

Jacob finally found a house to buy somewhere between Forks and La Push. Jacob and Leah can't wait to move in. It's a two bedroom and Jacob already has plans to build on another room. It seemed the day after they signed the papers, Leah informed him that she was pregnant. So, the house is going to fill up faster than they planned.

Angela and Ben have been dating since they met. He and Angela went out on a date every night for two weeks before becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. Ben wants to ask Angela to marry him, and asked me what I thought about the ring. It's beautiful.

Mr. Jenks is here today to celebrate and experience the Gallery for the first time. Two weeks ago he called me to his office, and while I watched him pack up boxes, he told me about his investigation into Courtyard Rehab.

Apparently, Mrs. Jane has been a very naughty person. Though things aren't quite finished, an audit showes Mrs. Jane has been embezzling money from Courtyard. Evidently, Charlie's insurance was enough to cover all his costs. When the police showed up wanting to speak with me and Charlie, she got nervous and jumped the gun by firing me. Evidently, I was supposed to be her scapegoat. To complete her set up, she told potential employers I'm more hassle them I'm worth.

Due to the slanderous statements made by Mrs. Jane and Mr. Jenk's revealing investigation, I'm expecting a letter of recommendation and possibly a large check from the parent company to compensate everything that I have been put through. If they play ball with Mr. Jenks, he won't push me to take everything public, but that's always a possibility.

When Mr. Jenks is through with Jane, she will be very lucky if she doesn't spend time behind bars herself.

Since contacting the parent company, Joanne's name has been thrown into the hat to take over running the facility.

She's also, unofficially, the culprit that initially handed over Charlie's medical records, at least the ones she had to Dr. Cullen.

"Well, you weren't going to do it, so..." was all she had to say. shrugging her shoulders. It's our secret.

Thinking back to the night Charlie woke up still causes tears to come to my eyes. It only took a week befored Charlie was passed back to Dr. Pantra with Dr. Carlisle Cullen as a consultant.

After Charlie had a few days awake under his belt, we had a very emotional conversation about the last three years.

Amanda Cope was Victoria Turner, personal manager. She arrived at James' house to find Victoria in the midst of giving birth as Victoria's manager, Caius Withers, riffled through the house looking for the signed movie contract. The unsigned contract could cost him everything.

After helping Victoria deliver her baby and promising to keep her child safe, Amanda went into hiding. After returning to Forks, she picked up her high school romance with Officer Tyler Crowley who helped protect her.

After Officer Crowley's arrest, it came to light that he thought my dad was working with Caius, not James, so he warned her to get out while she could. He probably won't do any time in prison, but he'll never work as a police officer again.

Originally, when Amanda Coop ran, she thought it was Caius returning to make sure Victoria was dead instead of James returning home. If she had known that it was James that had tracked her down in Forks, things might have turned out entirely different. Victoria wanted to spend the first year of her daughter's life with her instead of on the road, filming.

It was Tyler Crowley's deception that set James Turner off. Up until he and Charlie where sitting in his cruiser, waiting for a search warrant, all James wanted wwa answers. Answers to what happened to his wife and daughter. Charlie was the only one that believed he was innocent and went above and beyond trying to prove it.

No charges were being brought up against Amanda Cope for kidnapping or accessory to murder because it's obvious to everyone she was terrified for her and the little girl's safety.

Caius Withers was found dead when the police, with an arrest warrant, showed up to take him into custody.

Though it will take a lot of work on my end, Harbor View Medical would take great pleasure in having someone of my character, return to the fast track program and finish off my internship, thanks to letters written by Dr. Rick Pantra, Dr. Carlisle Cullen, and Nurse Joanne Baker.

I'm not sure right now what I want, but as soon as I know, they will too. They would do anything they could to help me finish my education and become a Doctor of Medicine.

When today's done, Edward and I are going on our first date. Tomorrow, at Charlie's request, we're headed back to Forks to prepare the house for his homecoming. He will still need someone to watch after him for a while, but the doctors believe Charlie will make a full recover. His memories are still disorientated and out of sequence, but everyday things are being put back into chronological order. He will always suffer some physical symptoms from his ordeal but nothing compared to the last three years. But It will take it.

"Hey, young man, why don't you help an old fool down this hill? I don't want to impersonate my daughter." Charlie's chuckles to lighten the mood between the three of us.

"No problem, old man. I think she needs a few minutes to herself anyway." After a slight squeeze of my hand, Edward helps Charlie maneuver down the hill towards his family. I'm still stunned he knows me so well after such a short time. I watch, through the lens, them go whole way, until Charlie Swan and company all turn and give a wave.

There is more thann twenty pairs of hands showing through the lens.

_Click click click._

_**THE END**_

_**MAYBE...**_

* * *

_**A/N I can't believe it's over...Over a year and now it's done. SORT OF. I'm still working on EPOV of the story. Hopefully his side of things wont be so angsty...lol. I'm still wondering what kind of thoughts he has about everything.**_

_**I hope MOST of your questions were answered and if they weren't I hope Edward will answer them himself. I hope you recomend this story to your friends and encourage them to review as well. **_

_**I just finished my gift up to everyone who reviewed. If you don't have your pm on, please direct messange me with an email addy so you can get your gift for reviewing. Shhh it's a suprise. **_

_**Well, Merry Christmas everyone. I hope everyone get's what they're hoping for plus some. **_

_**I'm taking a little time to catch up on some TBR's, Hope nobody minds.**_

_**After the first of the year I will be posting a shortstory that again wrote itself. It has nothing to do with TTL but it is a BxE. Hope you'll add me to alerts. I'm hoping to post a chapter a day after my wonderful Beta's get done with it. YES THAT MEANS YOU STORY..LOL. AND BAT ONCE YOU GET SETTLED AGAIN.**_


	36. an update

To everyone who read, reviewed, favored, and alerted "Through the Lenz" I just wanted to update you on what's happening.

So far 16 Chapters have been written from Edward and the rest of the Cullens Point of View. You know I don't post anymore until I have a lot of chapters already run across my pre-reader and beta's desk so tell Edward and his family to keep talking because what's being said is awesome in my big-headed opinion lol.

Also, a drabble/song fic (for the life of me, I can't find the right version) just went live. Check it out. Shades of Gray, copy and paste, you know the drill.../s/7864342/1/Shades_of_Gray .


	37. outtake 1 Granny Anne

**Sorry if this confuses everyone but i'm moving all my outtakes here and deleting the TTLOUTTAKES story. All future outtakes will be posted here at the end of TTL.**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Granny Anne**

I don't see Seth in the morning because I'm gone before he wakes. I left him a note asking him to lock up when he leaves. I added my cell number just in case. I also wanted to know that the made it home safely. Hopefully, between, his tasks at the University and finding an engagement ring get done early so he's not traveling tonight.

I arrive at work thirty minutes early, as usual, only to find that Charlie continued to have an _odd_ weekend. No more violent tantrums but he was a pain in the ass for everyone.

Charlie walked the halls all night and had refused to go to bed Friday night after we left. Or was it Saturday morning? During the day Saturday, he tried to play scrabble with a resident named Harry and got mad because he couldn't remember how to spell the word criminal. Sunday, he stalked the new nurses assistant named Renesme and kept calling her Renee. Thank god, Angela was on duty and kept the poor girl from losing her mind or better yet, quitting. That's all I need at this point.

Poor Phyllis listened to Charlie retell her, he had meet his future wife, all night until she had enough and finally gave him one of his sleeping pill. I shook my head at Angela as she qued me in.

Hopefully, when he wakes up he will be more like Charlie and his charming self. I leave the photo album on his nightstand before I start my day and give him a kiss on the forehead. _I love you Dad. _Charlie doesn't even stir as I close the door behind me as I leave.

"So, Bella," Angela starts, waggling her eyebrows at me. "who was that with you Friday night? Damn girl he was a wet dream in the making." She pretended to fan herself with her hand. "I hope you took some time off..."

"Angela Sue Weber! Has your dad ever heard you talk like that?" I cut her off, laughing.

Angela is usually quiet and I don't think I have ever heard her talk about a man like this. I'm just as shocked as Angela is red. If I could see her toes, I bet they're as red as her face. Angela just sits there with her hands now covering her face shaking her head back and forth. I don't think she knows what she said, until it was out of her mouth and we both laugh.

"And just so you know…That man that was with me is Jacob Black. I've known him since he was born." I can't stop laughing because thinking about Jacob like that just isn't in the cards for us. It never was.

We tried dating once, when we were in high school, but it ended the first time we kissed. He said it was like kissing his sister. I told him that he was right it was like kissing a sister because when his hair fell into my face, I almost lost my dinner. I closed my eyes and all I could see was kissing another girl. I should have known it would be like that after elementary school.

But seriously, if Jacob wasn't like a brother to me, and I thought of him in _that_, Angela's right, Jacob could be the star of many wet dreams.

"You should see his cousin Seth. Now he could be a chip-n-dale dancer." I laugh. Angela turns an even darker shade of red. It's true, every bit of it. Both men are good looking and well built. Wide shoulders that you know could carry the world, smiles that are bright and pure white that can light up a room, when they smile. Hands that you know will keep you from falling off a cliff. But they are so much more on the inside.

On the inside they are loyal to a fault. Kind, loving, and furiously protective of everyone in their circle. Their bodies can weather the worst storm, and so can their souls.

"No wonder you never look at guys. Who could compare with _that_?" Angela realizes what she just said, and covered her mouth trying to apologize. I know she's not trying to be mean, but it still hurts. We are spared the awkwardness by a patients call bell and I quickly move down the hall.

"It's okay Ang. It's no big deal." I tell her after the third time she tries to apologize. She didn't mean them the way they sounded. She has Stephan (even if he doesn't deserve her) and I have Charlie.

I don't have time for big deals. My life is on hold and that's just the way things are, even if I wish things where different.

Seth calls me after I get home informing me that his mission is accomplished. He is enrolling in the University of Washington this spring for Business Management. When he's finished, he will be able to take over his father's business.

He found a wonderful jeweler, here in Seattle, that's able to adapt some tribal text to adorn a simple wedding band set. He has the engagement ring and will be back in Seattle in two weeks to pick up the other half when it's done.

Tonight, he is going to ask Claire's father, for his blessing, and the Claire. I'm excited for him because I have no doubt that she will say yes. I say congratulations and I'm sure her father will say yes. If her father has seen half of what I see in Seth, he is praying for Seth to propose.

After the short chat, I think about this weekend and everything that happened. What was said by Jacob, Billy, Seth, Charlie, and Granny Anne.

I remember the dreams that plagued me last night. Not that they were bad but someone was missing, and I couldn't figure out who it was. I still can't, I just know that someone was missing, maybe more than one someone. My conclusion is that I'm going to call Granny Anne. For one, to see if she is okay and two, I'm interested in what she might say.

When I finally get up my nerve, someone answers the phone on the third ring. The voice is too young to be Granny Anne.

"Hello, Straus residents. This is Samantha. How can I help you?" I don't say anything. I almost panicked and hung up the phone.

"Hello is anyone there…I don't know grandma. Someone's on the line but they won't say anything." I hear muffled voices in the back ground. I wait.

"Okay grandma. Here you go." It takes a minute before anyone comes on the line and my nerves start to get the best of me.

"Is this the photographer, I asked to call me yesterday?" the voice is rough and gravely like that of an older person, not sweet and fluid of the young women who answered the phone. It's Granny Anne. I've heard her voice before. I still don't speak.

"That's okay. I told her, you didn't have to say anything." I can hear the smile in her voice now. I smile not looking at the phone.

"Did she tell you, that John passed away, on Saturday?" I nod my head even though she can't see.

"That's okay dear just push a button, and I'll take that as a yes." I pressed the number 1 on my phone.

"Good, that's good." She says.

"I want you to know I loved the gallery yesterday. And the timing." I blink realizing how interesting this conversation is going to be; even one sided.

"John and I have been meeting at that park since 1945, did you know that," She starts, "We were both survivors of concentration camps in Germany and came to America early that spring, relocating here in Seattle Washington." I don't know what I am going to hear but I listen trying to take in everything she's saying.

"It was love at first sight, but we could not get married until 1948 when I turned eighteen.. John was twenty-five. We had to wait until I was of legal age because I had no family to ask permission. We married three days after my 18th birthday. We raised a beautiful family, and we've lived good lives." I take in every detail as she paints me a beautiful picture.

"John operated a small laundry mat for most of our marriage that was taken over by our children when John retired. Our children and our grandchildren have moved on with their lives as it should be, while John and I have continued to share out our lives." There was little sadness in her voice as she shared with me.

"And about three years ago you became a part of our life when you took that first photo. At first, I was upset that you had taken our photo but John took me home and sat me down to talk. By the end of our conversation, I saw John's point, and I let it go. I thought you had invaded our privacy and John thought something different." She paused as emotions filled her voice.

"John believed that life was precious but only if shared. Privacy was for the hurt, and broken hearted. John loved your photographs, and it brought him so much happiness. He made me promise, that I would continue to visit the park, even after he was unable to join me; six months ago." I felt the tears moisten my cheeks.

"He believed that by sharing ourselves with you, gave you the opportunity to share yourselves with all of us. Everyone at the park and not just him and I. I knew john was right, and it wasn't until Saturday morning that I really understood." She paused, emotion thick in her voice.

"When that little boy came up to me, we shared a bag of bread and feed the birds together…that little boy touched my heart, in ways I have yet to understand. His father is very protective of his son, and his family, but I shared my story with him. I also shared the last three years of my life at the park with him. It gave him a lot to think about, but I think he understands." I heard her inhale deeply.

"I came home Saturday after the park, and I told John that I understood what he had been trying to tell me these past couple of years." I heard quick gasps of breath. "John passed away a few hours later with a smile on his face, though he was unable to tell me his thoughts." It took Granny Anne a few minutes to continue. I could feel the wetness from my tears on my chest

"Anyway, I came to the park today to let you know that I would no longer be coming there. I'm moving to Oregon to live with one of my daughters, but it was the first time I saw you with your friend's young lady." My eyes grew big when I realize what she said. Granny Anne knew who I was.

"I also want to ask you, because you always asked John and I, if I can use those wonderful photos you have taken of us at his funeral."

"Press a key if that is a yes." I press a key and wait in silence. I want to know more. I wanted to know how she knows. I want to know how long she's known. And I want to thank her for her story, but I can't find my voice.

"You might want to read the obituaries from today's paper. Thank you SIM'S. Goodbye." The phone goes silent before I whisper my own goodbye.

I pick up today's paper turning to the obituaries, finding an old picture of John and his wife, I took shortly after coming to the park. It was one of them looking at each other while they held hands leaving the park. Through blurry eyes, I read the caption "photographed by SIM".


	38. outake 2

**TTL Outtake**

**This scene takes place during surgery. Dr. Pantra, Dr. Carlisle Cullen and Dr. Edward Cullen are present in surgery. Dr. C. Cullen is consulting as he ranks top in the nation for neurosurgery while his son, Edward, is trying to figure out what he wants to do with his career. Though neither knows all the details, Dr. Carlisle reviewed Charlie's records from Dr. Pantra even before he was brought in as a consultant. Carlisle also knows that the records were sent to Chicago almost 3 years ago, but they never made it to his office, so he feels justified now conning the night nurse at Courtyard Rehab out of them. But this is Charlie's pov while he is sedated and the doctors work tirelessly to safely remove the remaining bullet lodged just beneath his skull. His surgery takes place in chapter 32 and Charlie wakes up at the end of Chapter 34. I've been working on the Cullen's POV since Through the Lenz finished and we're getting there slowly but surely. We now have a Title and it will be referred to as Focal Point from hence forth. Keep being patient and it will come. (did you hear that with Kevin Costner's Voice. Hmm lol. Like Build it they will come lol ) but I won't be posting Chapters until I see the finish line.**

* * *

**UNDER THE KNIFE**

"Hey, Love, what are you doing asleep?" a woman's voice asks. It's a familiar voice that calls to me. I remember that voice, but it's been so long since I've heard her.

"Renee?" I question. I must be dead if I'm hearing her voice.

"Yes, Charlie, it's me. I love you. You know that right?" the voice whispers in my ear.

"Ren, I miss you. Can I come home now?" I say, begging for the chance to be with my wife again. I've missed her for so long.

"I miss you too, love, but no you can't come home now," she explains.

Please, Ren," I beg. I'm starting to panic because all I can see is darkness. "It hurts to be without you. It just hurts." My head feels like someone is using a drill, creating deep holes in my brain. The only thing making the pain bearable is her voice.

"I know it does, Charlie. But you need to stay here and take care of our daughter. She needs you, Charlie. I can wait a little longer."

"Why is she here, Ren? Why is she working so hard against me? I want to come home." The pounding in my chest is almost as painful as my head, close, but not quiye. Why won't they let me just go and be with my beautiful Renee? My chest aches to be with her.

"Now, Charlie," she reprimands. "I know how you feel, but it's not your time, Love."

My heart breaks listening to her tell me it's not my time. I want to escape the pain and the hurt. I want to feel whole again, but she's not listening to me.

"Protecting her and everyone around you is just your nature, in your DNA. As much as it hurts me to say, I'm not ready for you to come home. Our Bells needs you, Charlie. You need to fight and stay with her.

"Renee, don't leave me yet, please. Stay just a little longer. She's going to know I failed. I failed to protect that little girl and somehow I have failed to protect her. Help me, Renee, help me," I've never begged for anything in my adult life except for her cancer to go away and that did me little good.

"You didn't fail that little girl, not yet. But if you don't start fighting, you will fail our daughter, and in turn, you will have failed me. Charlie, please. Stay with our daughter. I'm watching."

Her tone, conviction, the certainty of it has a shattering effect on me. _I can feel my body shift directions as the first bullet pierces through the glass of the side window as I attempt to exit the car._

"He shot me, Renee. I don't know what happened, but James shot me. I don't know why the warrant didn't get there. I know she has his daughter, and I had to prove it. I did prove it. What do I do, Renee?" The pain is driven deeper into my head, causing me to scream out the last sentence.

"When it's time, you wake up, love, and finish what we started. You protect our daughter as long as you can.

"Renee, we've been through this. Why are we still going through this?" The feeling of deja vu is intense. We've had this conversation before, more than once. I can see Renee lying on the bed, weak and fragile, my waving voice, begging her not to leave me, begging her to fight against the cancer that has reeked havoc in her body.

"It's not still, Charlie, it's again."

"Again? I don't understand." I know I'm missing so many pieces to the puzzle that is my wife, my daughter, and ultimately, my life.

"What do you mean again?"

"Charlie, think about it—put the pieces together, for our daughter's sake."

It kills me to hear my wife beg for something so simple as me to remember. But I don't want to remember. I don't want to see the hurt in my daughter's eyes. I don't want to see the longing for some sort of recognition from me, but it's too late; I do see, with flickers of reality that start to blend together.

"Renee, I let her down. I didn't know... I didn't see... She's going to hate me." The flashing images of my daughter hating me or being afraid of me are too much. I want to hit rewind and pretend like none of it ever happened, but the hurt and the damage is done, and I feel as if there is nothing I can do to change it. The tears find their own way down the sides of my face, pooling at my ears.

"Bella doesn't hate you, Charlie. In fact, I think she misses you. She's already lost one parent; she's not ready to lose another."

I know my wife is telling me the truth. She was never able to not tell the truth even when it was going to tear my heart to shreds.

"She gave up everything to take care of me, Renee, and I didn't even know who she was. What kind of father does that? What kind of father fails to make their daughters dream a reality?" That was never the kind of father I wanted to be. I never wanted to be a burden or a source of pain for my daughter.

"A loving father who was shot trying to protect someone else's child when the world was against her and her father."

I know it's only bits and pieces, but I remember a piece here and a piece there. Putting them together feels like a knife has been plunged deep and I can't breathe.

"Have you seen what I've done to our daughter?" I yell angrily. Anger is good, anger makes the pain less.

"I have. But I've also seen you protect her and worry about her even when you didn't remember. You made her strong, but she's not strong enough to be without her father. She's the female version of you."

"Renee, I'm not ready to leave you... stop pushing me away," I beg.

"Charlie, I'm not pushing you. It's time to wake up, love. It's time to live again."

"Renee, don't go..." The feeling of lose as her voice starts to fade is like an open cavern.

"I love you, Charlie. Don't forget, I'll be waiting." I feel the briefest of touches as she kisses my cheek and the moisture of her tears as they mingle with mine. Her voice fades and then changes and grows, it's different now, but it's still familiar.

"Charlie, Charlie, it's me, Bells."

I feel the lightest pressure grow, a squeeze, a warmth on my hand.

"Bells."

My voice is weak and strained, unfamiliar, but the effect is deep, hitting me at my core. My life has been tipped on its axis and my desire to hold, protect, and care for my daughter grows, knowing my wife is right. She's not strong enough to lose two parents.

"Dad."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks to my Beta, Storypainter, and her awesomeness to coral in my comma addiction and bring the story back to the straight and narrow before I go and post it.**

**Hope you enjoyed this one. It came out of nowhere while I was working on Focal Point (A Cullen Perspective of Through the Lenz), so I thought I'd share something so everyone knows This story has not been forgotten.**

**Much love to all who have enjoyed. **


	39. update: sneak peek

**A/N: Hi, everyone! I know it's taken awhile, but we're there now. I wanted to share a little peek into the future for everyone that's alerted/favorited and wished for more. This is a later chapter from "Focal Point" Edward's POV. Thought you might enjoy it. But I warn you, it's UNBETA'D, so, it's up to you to continue at your own risk.**

* * *

**Just before midnight**

**Dr. Pantra's POV**

The call came in four minutes ago and I already had an emergency team waiting when the helicopter landed on the pad. We moved quickly into position as paramedics unloaded the gurney and started rattling off stats. One of the attendings collected the information as I assessed the situation for myself.

I contemplated, only half listening to the conversation around me, _What was wrong with the world_. The face is familiar but I can place the name. I quickly determine that the patient is in rough shape but I will know more once we arrived in the emergency room. I can make a more accurate evaluation then.

Refocusing on the conversation, a nervous tingle washes through me as we pushed through the landing pad doors.

"What are you talking about?" I shout at the paramedic that's looking confused and shocked. He's supposed to be a professional, not acting like this is his first rodeo.

"I'm sorry, I can't remember exactly how the they put it. Something like 99.9 or 99 percent sure-" the imbecile rambles, and then it clicks.

"Nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine, is that what she said?" I question. I'd been thinking about a young student from a few years back a lot lately. It couldn't be her, I tell myself.

"Yeah that's what the girl said. She said don't take the bandages off until he was in surgery. She was... what you just said," he finishes and I'm surprised she might still be around.

As crazy as that kid thinks he is, she isn't.

"Okay ladies and gentlemen," I say as the doors close behind us. "We're taking a detour with this one. Someone notify surgery we have one coming their way," I order. If I'm right, if it was her, all the information I need should be written on his chest. I pull the covers back from the patients chest and behold, there it is, all the vital information.

"I'll be damned!" I whispered to myself. "We need O positive, and from the looks of it we're going to need plenty. You're a lucky son of a bitch, Carlisle Cullen," I comment, reading the information and swallow hard finally placing the name.

_Damn. If this is Doctor Carlisle Cullen, that means he's my newest interns father. Fuck, not again._

**Edward's POV**

**(An hour later)**

I bang my head against the wall behind me trying to silence my own thoughts.

_Why had I left them? Why hadn't I tried harder to get them to leave with the rest of us? Because I was still floating on cloud nine after ending my lie. _

_I should have known something was afoot. Happily ever afters are just fairy tales, not real life._

_Thursday night was a blur. After announcing I was staying in Washington and was finishing out my residency here in Seattle, she had disappeared without a trace. Even the waitress caused me to question my sanity when I had asked the identity of the woman that had sat in the far booth. _

_It was like she was visible only to me but I knew she was real, she had to be, because if she wasn't, it meant I was insane. No one even remembered waiting on her. _

_I returned to the table but really wasn't there. I went through the motions of participating as Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice gave our parent's their gift._

_We'd been pooling our money for several years saving for a fourteen day vacation on the Queen Anne cruise line. Mom was over the moon, unable to voice her surprise, but her smile told us everything we needed to know. I noticed dad's eyes well, but he just shook his head and grinned, refusing to let a tear fall._

_Friday, everyone floated around on cloud nine and we decided to introduce Dad to something he had yet to experience. Frick Park._

Sitting in the hard plastic seat, rocking, I try to calm the rage building in me. Staring at white walls and a white ceiling wasn't helping.

_Was it only a few hours ago that our family was so happy. This was the first time in years we were all living in the same area, let alone state._

"Edward, your mother is awake now, and asking for you. Would you follow me, please," a woman's voice sounds snapping me from my inner monologue. The nurse is watching me cautiously as I stand and move forward. I swallow roughly and follow her down the white hall, scared. Scared in a way that reminds me of when I was little.

_Dad brought me to the hospital to see Alice after she broke her leg climbing the tree in our back yard because I told her she was to little and had threatened to push her out of the tree if she tried._

But this is different, stronger. It's Mom in the hospital and not Alice. I want to cry but stumble behind the Nurse, Jojo, instead.

"Go on in. She's waiting for you," Jojo whispers, when we reached the room my Mom now occupies. I see her shoulders shaking, crying. It almost brakes me, but I know I have to be strong, strong for her, and strong for dad. I can't fall apart now. My family needs me.

If I thought crossing the threshold of the door to see Alice was nearly impossible, it's nothing compared to seeing Mom's tear stained face.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," I say with a trembling voice, embracing her with everything I have. I don't want to let go, but I don't want to hurt on either. She holds me tighter until I can't breathe.

"You're Dad, is he..." mom brakes off.

"He's still in surgery," I reply already knowing what she needs to know but I don't know how it will end. I feel her pull away and I look into her tear soaked eyes that search mine. She's looking for truth, not comfort, but receive both.

"Mom," Alice says from behind us. I release mom taking in every detail to make sure she is going to be alright. I feel a crushing weight hit me and my arms fall to my sides as I notice the bruising on her neck. I feel sick, ready to empty the contents of my stomach. I don't know much of the details surrounding my parents assault but the bruising on my mother's neck invokes the worse case scenario. I step back, letting Alice take over. I have to step away, get away.

"Alice, it's okay, Alice. We're going to be fine." I hear mom comfort my sister. I step farther back. I can't be here. I have to get out of this room, leave, now.

"Edward!" the voices call to me from the room now behind me as I quicken my pace, heading to the nearest exit.

I can't say where I'm going, only that I have to find somewhere else to be. I'm the gutless coward I tell myself, escaping the hospital to find the sanctuary of my car. I don't stop until I can't see threw blurry conditions, as tears threaten to fall. Darkness turns into light but morning brings no relief.

As I find myself pulling into a familiar parking-lot I know I should have stayed with my family, but the pull to see the scene of the crime doesn't allow me to change directions.

How long had I been driving around aimlessly? I don't know.

On instinct I leave the car and walk the distance to the running path that weaves in and out of the park. It looks different in the early morning light but I can still see enough to continue. I can see the yellow tape that surrounds where the assault took place. I notice the spot were the blood seeped from my Dad, into the ground, leaving him for dead.

_I knew last night when I left that I should have stayed, I felt it. I should have stayed and protected them. I could have been here to help my father, I should have stayed._

Ducking under the tap, I kneel, letting my fingers trace the stains of blood.

_If I hadn't come to Seattle, would this have happened? Was there something that had happened that should have warned me?_

_I go back, following my memories as they flash before me, to the beginning._

* * *

**_read, review, and retell. So what if it's complete, :)._**


End file.
